Am I wrong for being jelous of my sister who got lapband?

dekarlo08
dekarlo08 Posts: 102
edited September 23 in Health and Weight Loss
My sister has always been at least 100 pounds more than me, and that's saying something cause I weighed 250. Well she got the lap band and needless to say she's dropping the pounds. It sucks cause I eat healthy and exercise and she still eats junk like french bread pizza and chef boyardee. Yeah it takes her a while to get it down but she still gets to eat it. I want to be healthy and I don't care if it takes me a while to get there, but I've never been the "fat one" and I'm so scared that I'm going to become just that. I feel guilty about feeling jelous because she really did need the surgery and I want her to lose the weight... I just want me to lose it too.

Replies

  • cassidystreasures
    cassidystreasures Posts: 116
    just think of it as you are doing it the HEALTHY way! and will keep the weight off, are doing it with out sugery, and will hopefully keep it off when you get to your target weight
  • jenX1174
    jenX1174 Posts: 154
    Trust me, if she's eating like that, she won't get too far with her weight loss. I know, because I've had the Lap-band. I eventually ran into this. My lack of success was due to not enough calories, and the calories I did get were empty. I only lost 34 pounds initially, and gained back 10-15. It still takes hard work and discipline even with the band....it is not an easy way out.
  • kyliedurnan
    kyliedurnan Posts: 58 Member
    nope you are not wrong, being jealous is bound to happen because you havent ever felt this way before! but its okay! stay motivated and just be happy that both of yalls lifes are changing in a wonderful wayyy:))))
  • cardbucfan
    cardbucfan Posts: 10,571 Member
    You are doing it the right way and in a way that is sustainable. A woman I know here in town had that done. She lost a great deal of weight at first, but then slowly put it right back on. she didn't know how to change her life and that is what you are learning. You didn't get to this weight overnight (kinda like that whole pregnancy weight thing!) and you won't take it off overnight, but assuming you learn from this-you can make it permanent. Good luck. (and it's human to be jealous!)
  • crystal_sapphire
    crystal_sapphire Posts: 1,205 Member
    with the way she's eating, she will be one of those who gain the weight back due to not learning healthy eating habits.
  • heyitsmekatie
    heyitsmekatie Posts: 544 Member
    i think the feelings you're having a perfectly normal. siblings are usually pretty competitive. i know people who have had lap-band though and it's no magic cure.
  • bbdzee
    bbdzee Posts: 35
    Make it your own challenge to drop more weight. She will lose initially but then she will hit a plateau. Eating like she is will only make it harder to lose at that point. She is still eating the same it just takes her longer. You are doing it the best way I can think of---cheaper too. Your results will be more gratifying in my mind because you worked hard for every pound you lost and every inch you chisel away. Be proud of your progress. She is losing faster now, but hopefully you will see that you can do it too.
  • watkinsc
    watkinsc Posts: 177 Member
    Sounds like your sister is clearly not following the doctors orders that were agreed upon when she entered into the contract for the surgery. She is setting herself up for a very real failure. That is too bad. On the other hand, you are eating right and exercising. Even if the numbers tell a different story (at least at first), you will be healthy, and that is what all of this is really about. Right? And after a while, to be honest with you, you won't miss the pizza and other treats. I'm serious. I used to LOVE donuts.. Now, the thought of them makes me sick to my stomach. I 'crave' my banana and coffee in the morning now. I am no where near perfect with my diet, but compared to where I was last fall, I am soooooo much healthier. And to me, that is the one thing that REALLY counts =) and the 10lbs I've dropped is a great bonus. The goal here is healthy lifestyle, don't get distracted!
  • twinsmomma02
    twinsmomma02 Posts: 79 Member
    I know exactly how you feel. My brother had the procedure done a little over a year ago, and has dropped about 150 pounds since then. We go out to eat, and he orders the worst possible item on the menu. We go to family gatherings, and he eats all the wrong choices and nothing of good nutritional value. Oh, did I mention he never exercises either? Then there is me.... Since August, I have changed my eating habits, exercise at least 5-6 days a week, and have lost close to 40 pounds on my own, and yet I am so jealous that he has lost so much weight, so quickly. It just doesn't seem fair, does it? But, I know I am doing it the hard way, and have changed my entire life style!
  • dekarlo08
    dekarlo08 Posts: 102
    Trust me, if she's eating like that, she won't get too far with her weight loss. I know, because I've had the Lap-band. I eventually ran into this. My lack of success was due to not enough calories, and the calories I did get were empty. I only lost 34 pounds initially, and gained back 10-15. It still takes hard work and discipline even with the band....it is not an easy way out.


    It's been 2 years but she has lost 80 pounds... or so she says
  • dwarfer22
    dwarfer22 Posts: 358 Member
    I had gastric bypass, I gained weight. If she is not going to keep off hte weight loss. I had the same problem. I could only eat a very small amount, but that didn;t stop me from going back 20 min later, and 20 min later, and 20 min later.... Don't be jealous. She is probably going to end up quite miserable when her grazing catches up with her. Trust me. And good luck on your journey.
  • sarahnicolexoxo
    sarahnicolexoxo Posts: 230
    I think it's normal to be jealous. You're not wrong for feeling that way! But, look at it like this: It will make you work harder to achieve your goal. You aren't taking the easy way out. You're being healthy about it and you'll have a better chance of keeping off the weight. In the end, you win!
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
    I think that with the way she's eating even if she did end up at some poing being the "skinny" sister her well being will take the hit. She won't be healthy, she won't know what foods are full of nutrients the body needs and she sure won't know what proper portions are.....so eventually she'll end up being the one to gain it all back dispite having surgery and wondering what the hell went wrong. Meanwhile in the long run you'll come out on top!!

    Keep exercizing and eating right and things will happen for you!
  • alishajohnson
    alishajohnson Posts: 10
    It's so funny you say that b/c my sister had the gastric bypass. She was always a lot heavier then me. But now the tables have turned. I'm a size 22 and she's a size 10! We have always been super close so I was never jealous that she lost all the weight. Instead it's making me want to work my behind off to lose this weignt just so we can shop at the same stores together again!! I thought about the surgery breifly but I am so afraid of going under knife so I have decided against it. Plus I want to make sure that I did it the most natural and healthy way. Keep plugging at it and before you know it you'll be her size and then you guys can go shopping together!! :happy:
  • imperfectlyhere
    imperfectlyhere Posts: 87
    i am a little jealouse of people who get that too just in general. but in the end we are really learning from what we do because we lost it the natural way...I know some people need those procedures but they need to live a healthy lifestyle to keep that weight off.
  • cagcooper
    cagcooper Posts: 15 Member
    She's not supposed to be eating like that with the "lap band"...that is VERY dangerous...

    You can do it without medical intervention...we all can!
  • erin6026
    erin6026 Posts: 117 Member
    Then to me, she doesn't get it. I feel for her - it must be awful to hit that point. However, if that's still the food she's reaching for then she's not really ready to change. It scares me that these surgeries are becoming "normal". Isn't there a ridiculously high risk of death?

    You are doing it the RIGHT way and should be super duper proud of that! People that are truly healthy are the ones that know how to align their heart, mind, and body (corny, but true!) and NOURISH their bodies. I promise, veggies and all that isn't so fun to eat when you've been going a different direction. But after a while your body realizes that this was the "fuel" it was meant to run on. Not processed junk! The food that was on the Earth 300 years ago is what is BEST!

    I obviously feel strongly about this, but it makes me so sad that people risk their lives with surgery and completely miss the point. I heart the Biggest Loser for shining a big ol' light on the situation, and prove time and again that exercise and eating right is the way to go.

    I bet at the end of all this you will be a changed woman and love what you've done for yourself. Stick with it!
  • ♥_Ellybean_♥
    ♥_Ellybean_♥ Posts: 1,646 Member
    People that brag they lost XX amount of weight because of lap band irritate me.. granted they had to make the right choices .. but that's all they had to do (put down the twinkie) ... they didn't have to WORK for it.. for the first 3 months they can't eat anything.. ofcourse your going to lose weight! .. I'm sorry, but I understand if you have to do it because of health reasons, but don't brag about it!
  • dekarlo08
    dekarlo08 Posts: 102
    I heart the Biggest Loser for shining a big ol' light on the situation, and prove time and again that exercise and eating right is the way to go.

    I applied for Biggest Loser twice by mail and then I was so excited to hear they were coming to New Orleans for open casting calls and wouldn"t ya know it, I got pregnant a month and a half before they got here. Oh life and the funny things it does to us :laugh:
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