Quick questions for the ladies. Please help

Hey ladies,
I have a few questions for you some are a little TMI so sorry for that in advance, thank you.

1. How do you handle back handed compliments? For example: You're pretty for a big girl. You've lost 30 pounds, well it'll be more noticeable when you lose 50 maybe. You'll be so beautiful when you're skinny. Or my all time favorite, you have a pretty face.
2. For the bustier women do you feel like regardless of what work out you're doing your back and shoulders just aren't getting enough support? (I've invested in some really awesome sports bras that keep the girls in place during the workout but still can't escape achy back and shoulders)
3. How do you handle people who tell you not to lose your breasts or butt?
4. During workouts do you ever get an overwhelming feeling of needing to poop? (So TMI SORRY) but even when I do my fasted cardio in the morning I still get that gotta go feeling.
5. Any advice for the time of the month?

Replies

  • williams969
    williams969 Posts: 2,528 Member
    1. I've not had weight related "neg compliments", but I get the "you look great for your age" UGH! Okay, I know what I look like I how old I am, thank you? I guess?

    2. I'm not overly busty (well, maybe, just totally saggy, :embarassed: ). Get you a PROPER sized bra. I thought I was always like 36B or so. Nope. 30G! (true story). Check out breakoutbras.com. It will change your life, for realz! And eventually, strength training that focuses on your back muscles will greatly improve anyone's posture and strength (tip, push ups and planks are FREE)

    3. Um, what? That's a weird comment (is it just me singing Sir Mix-a-Lot's Baby Got Back in my head, now, lol). I wish we could choose what goes and what stays.

    4. Yep! TMI, but I jog most mornings, fasted but after slamming a few coffees. I'm glad there's facilities on the trail I run on :laugh: Keeps me regular :drinker:

    5. TOM weigh-ins will likely ALWAYS show water gains. Get used to it, do NOT freak. Best tip I've found is to compare the previous month's TOM weight with current--if it's same or lower--you're still losing (even though temporarily higher). Or, just avoid the scale that week or so.
  • logg1e
    logg1e Posts: 1,208 Member
    My solution appears to be not hanging around such awful people. Seriously. Where are you finding these people?
  • Bluemints1
    Bluemints1 Posts: 31 Member
    With the back-handed compliments i get quite annoyed because there's no need for people to make you feel worse about something you're trying your best to change, i just give them a look and walk away, no need to stoop to their level and make a big deal out of it :)

    I ALWAYS get shoulder pains from my girls haha but no matter how good the sports bra is, it's the weight of them that causes it and i think it's something that you can't do too much about really, though they will get smaller as you lose weight so it won't always be so painful!

    For people who tell you not to lose your "assets" tell them where to go - especially if they're being rude! If it's an innocent "ohh you have a nice bum, try and keep it" just be like "yeah i'll tell the fat to leave everywhere except my butt" because it's a stupid thing for anyone to say haha ...

    OMG this is definitely a TMI topic but i always need to fart when i work out hahaha

    When it comes to the time of the month, don't bother weighing yourself, don't worry about your weight or anything like that. And if you get some serious cravings for chocolate or anything huge, just get the tastiest healthy treat you can find (i keep a packet of oat&chocolate bars, which are sooo tasty and not too bad) it just saves you from binge eating and then feeling guilty :)
  • em435
    em435 Posts: 210 Member
    1. How do you handle back handed compliments?
    Exactly the same way I handle normal compliments. Usually they mean well but, if not, stay well away. The comments will continue and before you know it, you're up close and personal with the green-eyed monster!

    2. For the bustier women do you feel like regardless of what work out you're doing your back and shoulders just aren't getting enough support?
    Not a problem I suffer from sadly

    3. How do you handle people who tell you not to lose your breasts or butt?
    Tell them to mind their own business!
    Besides, all you need is a couple of grand to buy new boobs and gym membership to shape that booty

    4. During workouts do you ever get an overwhelming feeling of needing to poop?
    Have coffee beforehand or whatever else you know gets you pooping quickly. You might still get the feeling but at least you'll know there's none in the tank.

    5. Any advice for the time of the month?
    Erm... Lots! You're going to need to be more specific.
    I have huge cravings so I usually try to workout for extra cals (and to forget about cramps) but I don't stress about going over around TOM. Sometimes the only solution is a spoon and tub of peanut butter. (Don't judge me! ;) )
  • riotatme23
    riotatme23 Posts: 56 Member
    Brush it off. People don't think half the time, and the other half just don't care.

    As for pooping: I always have to poop after a run or a long walk. I think its because we're drinking more water and moving things along with the muscle function. I walk/run, poop, shower, then have a snack.

    TOM: Drink lots of water and stay away from the scale. You're going to pee out all the water weight after the week is up anyway and you'll be back to "normal" Avoid high sodium foods as they will make you feel even more bloated. Always leave room for a snickers bar though ;)
  • wonderwoman234
    wonderwoman234 Posts: 551 Member
    I would just distance yourself from people who are trying to make you feel insecure about yourself. Sometimes when people make positive changes, the people around them feel jealous or threatened and they try to sabotage you as a way of dealing with their own insecurity. Those people are not truly supportive and caring. So lose them and surround yourself with people who have enough good stuff going on in their own lives that they can be supportive.

    Regarding the poop issue, are you drinking too much coffee? I sometimes I get a feeling of pressure when I do heavy leg presses, but it's not related to needing to poo and it's not when I'm doing cardio. If you really do have to go, then just go and resume your activities. If you feel pressure not related to having to go, maybe it's a hemorroid? Also, if you are eating more fiber you might be more loose for a lil bit!

    I am a small C cup so my boobs are fine in my sports bra. Maybe you need to get fitted at a real bra store (Lady Grace) for something that will hold you up.

    Finally, I don't do anything different during my period for a workout. I do make sure that I use the extra absorbent tampons though. Pearl Super Plus work great!
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    Hey ladies,
    I have a few questions for you some are a little TMI so sorry for that in advance, thank you.

    1. How do you handle back handed compliments? For example: You're pretty for a big girl. You've lost 30 pounds, well it'll be more noticeable when you lose 50 maybe. You'll be so beautiful when you're skinny. Or my all time favorite, you have a pretty face.
    2. For the bustier women do you feel like regardless of what work out you're doing your back and shoulders just aren't getting enough support? (I've invested in some really awesome sports bras that keep the girls in place during the workout but still can't escape achy back and shoulders)
    3. How do you handle people who tell you not to lose your breasts or butt?
    4. During workouts do you ever get an overwhelming feeling of needing to poop? (So TMI SORRY) but even when I do my fasted cardio in the morning I still get that gotta go feeling.
    5. Any advice for the time of the month?
    1. The only people giving me rude comments are my sister and a friend, both of whom are just jealous. I used to bite my tongue, now is tell them how happy I am and suggest that they might be happier if they joined me. If it doesn't stop, I'm going to say, "I don't want to be fat like you. It's disgusting." We are getting close, especially when they're in the same room.
    2. I never tried running for that exact reason. I don't do anything that requires bouncing. The girls are too big for that! Swimming is better exercise, anyway - burns more calories and gives you resistance with your cardio. It's easy, too. Doesn't feel like work at all.
    3. Nobody says that. Boyfriend jokes about the boobs (he likes boobs), but has voiced no complaints.
    4. Not usually. But occasionally. If you gotta go, you gotta go. :)
    5. You know you better than I do.
  • SomeNights246
    SomeNights246 Posts: 807 Member
    Hey ladies,
    I have a few questions for you some are a little TMI so sorry for that in advance, thank you.

    1. How do you handle back handed compliments? For example: You're pretty for a big girl. You've lost 30 pounds, well it'll be more noticeable when you lose 50 maybe. You'll be so beautiful when you're skinny. Or my all time favorite, you have a pretty face.
    2. For the bustier women do you feel like regardless of what work out you're doing your back and shoulders just aren't getting enough support? (I've invested in some really awesome sports bras that keep the girls in place during the workout but still can't escape achy back and shoulders)
    3. How do you handle people who tell you not to lose your breasts or butt?
    4. During workouts do you ever get an overwhelming feeling of needing to poop? (So TMI SORRY) but even when I do my fasted cardio in the morning I still get that gotta go feeling.
    5. Any advice for the time of the month?

    1) I either ignore them or explain why it bothers me. For example, I feel like people saying "You're so thin, I hate you" is backhanded. And not just because I struggle with body image issues, but because I feel as though they're implying that it is by stroke of luck. The same way when I was big and people told me things like "You're not fat, you're pretty" or "You're cute for a big person" I felt like it was a fancy way of saying "Yeah, but you're different than them." Which felt backhanded. Most people don't realize a compliment is backhanded until you point out why it bothers you.
    2) When I was a DD, I sure as heck did. Wearing two sports bras helped, but was very uncomfortable.
    3) Well, seeing as I identify as 'other' on the gender spectrum... I'd laugh and tell them losing my breasts was the goal. I never had a butt to lose to begin with. But for other people, I would just explain that you value your health over whether you have big breasts/butts. Honestly, losing boobs and butt seems to be a very common concern for overweight women. Speaking with my sister, I'm sometimes sad about this as it seems for her and some others.. that it's because they become their most confident point (this goes in with backhanded compliments... "You have nice boobs, though!" Yeah, I heard that b*&$5@ a lot.
    4) Totally normal. Exercise gets the bowels going. It, actually, helps with constipation, too. I mean, not my constipation because I am in ED recovery and have gallbladder disease. So, not even broccoli can help with mine. But most constipation. lol
    5) Light exercise. Sometimes stretches specific to the areas of my cramping helps. If you get bad cramps, don't be afraid to take an extra rest day. However, exercise does help somewhat. And yes, stay away from the scale. Bloating can be insane before and during your period.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    Finally, I don't do anything different during my period for a workout. I do make sure that I use the extra absorbent tampons though. Pearl Super Plus work great!
    I will ditto the Playtex Pearl as being the best. They need to use more colors, though. They have two different sizes or orange and purple. The BIG purple and orange ones are best.

    A friend of mine has extremely heavy, leaky periods like me. We both used them all and those Playtex Pearl work best for us both...in the gigando size. We still leak and change a lot, but these are best. (If it sounds like I work for them, I don't, lol. They just really are head and shoulders better than all the others.)

    Also ditto the advice to not worry about the scale. It goes up several pounds before and comes down several pounds after. Every month.
  • fabnine
    fabnine Posts: 379 Member
    1. How do you handle back handed compliments?
    A backhanded compliment (that was said a few too many times) was a big part of why I lost this weight & started working out. Whether words are meant for comfort or pain they have power. We decide what kind of power they have over us. We get to choose to allow others to hurt us, spur us on for positive change, or ignore them completely.

    2. For the bustier women do you feel like regardless of what work out you're doing your back and shoulders just aren't getting enough support?
    I was contemplating breast reduction surgery at my heaviest. Well the girls shrank while I shrank so that's not a problem anymore. I understand some women get to stay busty, alas I was not one of them.

    3. How do you handle people who tell you not to lose your breasts or butt?
    Well, we don't get to spot reduce. So, anyone who really loves you will love you with or without all your current curves.
    Love is nice that way.

    4. During workouts do you ever get an overwhelming feeling of needing to poop?
    No... sorry.

    5. Any advice for the time of the month?
    Who doesn't enjoy bloating, hormonal mood swings, and cramps? I also have unpredictable cravings, but working out helps with the cramps & gives me extra calories for the food so it's all good.
  • F00LofaT00K
    F00LofaT00K Posts: 688 Member
    Hey ladies,
    I have a few questions for you some are a little TMI so sorry for that in advance, thank you.

    1. How do you handle back handed compliments? For example: You're pretty for a big girl. You've lost 30 pounds, well it'll be more noticeable when you lose 50 maybe. You'll be so beautiful when you're skinny. Or my all time favorite, you have a pretty face.

    I ignore them, mostly. If somebody said I was pretty for a big girl, I may tell them I think I'm pretty regardless. If they told me it would be more noticeable once I lose 50lbs, I would tell them that I'm proud of myself for the accomplishment I've made so far. If they told me I had a pretty face, I'd say thank you. But mostly, I ignore comments like that.
    2. For the bustier women do you feel like regardless of what work out you're doing your back and shoulders just aren't getting enough support? (I've invested in some really awesome sports bras that keep the girls in place during the workout but still can't escape achy back and shoulders)

    If your breasts are a certain size, these things will just happen. Mine were never that big, but aside from getting the most supportive sports bra possible or breast reduction surgery, you'll be achy.
    3. How do you handle people who tell you not to lose your breasts or butt?
    I explain to them that my body is MY business, not theirs and that I am focusing on getting healthy for ME, not creating the body that THEY want. I've said something like this a few times, and the people usually back off.
    4. During workouts do you ever get an overwhelming feeling of needing to poop? (So TMI SORRY) but even when I do my fasted cardio in the morning I still get that gotta go feeling.
    No, but maybe poop before you work out?
    5. Any advice for the time of the month?
    I've got nothing. When I went to the gym, I would still go during TOM.
  • BadassSavageVix
    BadassSavageVix Posts: 432 Member
    1. How do you handle back handed compliments?
    Usually by getting mad and telling the person some home truths. Doesn't always go down well but I've never really been able to bite my tongue. I advise just ignoring them.

    2. For the bustier women do you feel like regardless of what work out you're doing your back and shoulders just aren't getting enough support?
    I wear two bras when working out. The first one (next to skin) is a normal bra then on top of that I wear a sports bra. That usually keeps the girls secured enough. I've never really had back problems from them. My back problems are usually lower back from the weight of my fat at the front.

    3. How do you handle people who tell you not to lose your breasts or butt?
    Not had any of that, although I don't personally want to lose my breasts because I like them big. My butt, on the other hand, can be worked on with squats.

    4. During workouts do you ever get an overwhelming feeling of needing to poop?
    Yes, I do. Although this usually happens if I workout before I've been. I don't have a specific time that I go so sometimes it's just bad timing. I can usually wait until I've finished the workout. (Sorry TMI)

    5. Any advice for the time of the month?
    Nope sorry. I'm on the pill so aren't visited by Aunt Flo.
  • helenarriaza
    helenarriaza Posts: 517 Member
    1. How do you handle back handed compliments?
    I just smile and tell them, oh I already know it, you just wait!

    2. For the bustier women do you feel like regardless of what work out you're doing your back and shoulders just aren't getting enough support?
    tight tees and sports bras

    3. How do you handle people who tell you not to lose your breasts or butt?
    I usually tell them that if they like them so much I can give them a cheek or a boob so they can keep them and that they would be at least 5 pounds less for me.

    4. During workouts do you ever get an overwhelming feeling of needing to poop?
    Yes. I go.

    5. Any advice for the time of the month?
    Water, warm showers, slow walks, love your midol and eat chocolate if you have to.
  • My solution appears to be not hanging around such awful people. Seriously. Where are you finding these people?

    I have a horrible family/friend group that's not very sensitive or supportive. *shrugs* but they aren't people I can just push out of my life. I've told them how it makes me feel but they just claim I'm overly sensitive.
  • With the back-handed compliments i get quite annoyed because there's no need for people to make you feel worse about something you're trying your best to change, i just give them a look and walk away, no need to stoop to their level and make a big deal out of it :)

    I ALWAYS get shoulder pains from my girls haha but no matter how good the sports bra is, it's the weight of them that causes it and i think it's something that you can't do too much about really, though they will get smaller as you lose weight so it won't always be so painful!

    For people who tell you not to lose your "assets" tell them where to go - especially if they're being rude! If it's an innocent "ohh you have a nice bum, try and keep it" just be like "yeah i'll tell the fat to leave everywhere except my butt" because it's a stupid thing for anyone to say haha ...

    OMG this is definitely a TMI topic but i always need to fart when i work out hahaha

    When it comes to the time of the month, don't bother weighing yourself, don't worry about your weight or anything like that. And if you get some serious cravings for chocolate or anything huge, just get the tastiest healthy treat you can find (i keep a packet of oat&chocolate bars, which are sooo tasty and not too bad) it just saves you from binge eating and then feeling guilty :)

    You're a super hero this was perfect. Thank you!
  • logg1e
    logg1e Posts: 1,208 Member
    My solution appears to be not hanging around such awful people. Seriously. Where are you finding these people?

    I have a horrible family/friend group that's not very sensitive or supportive. *shrugs* but they aren't people I can just push out of my life. I've told them how it makes me feel but they just claim I'm overly sensitive.

    I disagree: distance yourself from them. And before you say you can't, consider the alternative.
  • Icandoityayme
    Icandoityayme Posts: 312 Member
    How do I handle back handed compliments..... I don't. Whatever opinion or thoughts they have, I cannot control. I just say thank you and let it go. You teach people how to treat you. If you present yourself as a confident person, the backhanded compliments just roll off your back and they don't get to win.
    A good bra helps with the back issues as well as adjusting your posture correctly.
    For those who say don't lose your butt or breasts, well, tell them you will get right on that as soon as they develop a brain. Obviously they are not competent enough to grasp the concept that you have no control over that.
    Yes sometimes I have to run to the bathroom either during or after exercise.
    For that time of the month, drink plenty of fluids to help with water retention, if you have an urge for chocolate, eat it within reason, and I find pilates and mild form of exercise that helps some with cramps.
  • MoveitlikeManda
    MoveitlikeManda Posts: 846 Member
    At my Great Grandads funeral his brother (in his 90's) hugged me goodbye, picked me up and the announced to the room
    "shes a lovely girl but i wouldnt want to carry her too far"
    I responed by saying "nobody asked you to, so put me down"

    I allowed this, even though i felt it rude of him, i was nice to him because it was his brothers funeral, and I let it go over my head because he was old and some old(er) people tend to think they can say what they like.

    on that note...

    my gran once said to me (I was about 17) "you would have a lovely figure if you could afford plastic surgery on your tummy"
    i was not as polite to her in my response, we often clash on things even though i love her dearly, but she hit the "i say what i want without thinking of who i could upset" way of thinking a long time ago.

    in general, I smile, node or if Im on a bad day (can be very moody) I come back with a charming insult- compliment straight back at ya.

    cant help on the big boob front of things because i dont have big boobs. so this also covers loosing them, there is not much too loos, however i could probably loos my bum twice over and still have a good sive behind lol

    working out makes me fart ALOT
  • Bluemints1
    Bluemints1 Posts: 31 Member
    Haha anytime! Glad I could be of help :D
  • LeenaJean
    LeenaJean Posts: 276 Member
    1. I get you have a pretty face a lot! I know that people mean well when they say this but they should really think about how it will make a bigger girl feel. I had a friend who would consistently tell me not to lose any weight because I was perfect, at the time I weighed 240 and she was like 120. The solution to her not supporting me on my weight lose journey? I dumped her :)
    2. I do have back pain after workouts and I am bustier, I have not found a solution other than ibuprofen
    3. I have not had to deal with this thankfully although I think my husband worries haha
    4. Nope haha!
    5. Relax, give yourself a little break. You can still workout but just take it easy. Also, Midol :)
  • StrawberryJam40
    StrawberryJam40 Posts: 274 Member
    My solution appears to be not hanging around such awful people. Seriously. Where are you finding these people?

    Agree.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    My solution appears to be not hanging around such awful people. Seriously. Where are you finding these people?

    This. There's only one person in my world that would ever dare speak to me in such a fashion, and guess what? I cut him out of my life. People will only give you as much guff as you allow them to. Demand more respect for yourself and you'll see a sharp decline in people who show disrespect.
  • rachelrb85
    rachelrb85 Posts: 579 Member
    1. Smile and nod
    2. Make sure you have the right size bra, try doubling up if you have to. Either two sports bras, or one normal bra under a sports bra.
    3. Tell them your body will unfortunately lose weight where it wants to and you have no control over that
    4. Yes. One time I was out on a run and had to poop so bad I stopped inside a Burger King. *kitten* happens.
    5. Pop a Midol, double up if you have to (tampon and panty liner) and suck it up. No different than any other time of the month for me.
  • Jerseygrrl
    Jerseygrrl Posts: 189 Member
    1. How do you handle back handed compliments? Do your best to let them roll off. Either they genuinely mean well, and they deserve a break for trying to be kind, or they are being passive aggressive, and they don't deserve your time.

    2. For the bustier women do you feel like regardless of what work out you're doing your back and shoulders just aren't getting enough support? I've tried MANY bras. I have simply ended up wearing two. It's odd, at first, but I really don't notice it anymore.

    3. How do you handle people who tell you not to lose your breasts or butt? Haven't had this experience.

    4. During workouts do you ever get an overwhelming feeling of needing to poop? Yes. I try to "stay on schedule" with all of that by eating regularly, but, sometimes, it happens.

    5. Any advice for the time of the month? If you feel good enough to work out, by all means, work out. If you feel miserable, don't punish yourself. A day or two isn't going to make that much difference in the long run. Drink lots of water and up your fiber.
  • marissanik
    marissanik Posts: 344 Member
    1. Don't take them to heart. People don't realize what they're saying half the time and how it may impact you.

    2. Never have I ever found a good sports bra. Wearing two bras has been the best solution for me.

    3. Lots of people have said "wow you've lost your boobs eh". Not true. I am the exact same cup size. My rib cage got smaller, and so it makes them appear smaller but the cup like I said hasn't changed. Still a D, and actually the girl said I could wear a DD in the less fuller cups. Again. Don't let it bother you. You're not any less of a woman because you lose some curves.

    4. Have not experienced this one. When I have Quest bars that are extremely high in fibre before my workout... then yes.

    5. Continue with the regular exercise and food routine. I never let it get in my way. Suck it up buttercup!
  • Allterrain_Lady
    Allterrain_Lady Posts: 421 Member
    1. I take those for what they are. A compliment, somehow. Try to not read to much into it. Most of the people are actually trying to be nice whilst honest. Take the good part and leave the rest. For example "You have a pretty face" means they actually think you have a pretty face. If someone were to compliment your legs would you think "what about my face"?

    2.Can't answer that. I'm considered somewhat busty but never had trouble carrying it. Wish they were bigger actually.

    3. Depends on the person. To someone who's trying to be considerate for what they consider my assets, I'd try to educate them about weight loss (no spot reduction, overall bodyfat %,...)
    I happened to have this conversation with someone who was only trying to make me feel worried about the ultimate results (because of their own insecurities most of the time) I said "I'm doing the best thing for myself in the long run. Health and fitness and weight loss are adding quality to my days and most likely days to my life. I can buy boobs back if I miss them and create a booty that you would dream of with the proper exercise regimen. There is no issue here to be discussed"

    4. Never. You can probably do something about this by twisting your diet. Maybe not to much fiber before cardio?

    5. TMI messes with everything. My mood, my energy, my cravings. But I'm also ok having it. That's part of what my body is supposed to experience. I'll probably miss it when menopause kick in.
    That said, try to recognize what works for you. I'm pretty sure it's a case of 'to each girl her own medicine'. Mine is: cutting salt completely for two days, indulging a bit more with pleasure calories (normal time 80% healthy / 20% treats each day) and quit cardio for the time.

    Hope that helps!
  • Psychgrrl
    Psychgrrl Posts: 3,177 Member
    1. "You look pretty good for your age." UGH! At what age do we start "adjusting" for beauty? That's also a GREAT song by folk singer Christine Lavin. She's freakin' hilarious. Whether or not I say something depends on my relationship and how bad the "compliment" is. A lot of times I'll ask--"what did you mean by that?" or "was that intended as a compliment? because it didn't sound that way."

    2. I wear two for my high-impact cardio.

    3. If it's a guy, ask him about taking Viagra or getting a penis ring. It's the same thing as asking a women to "keep" her butt and breasts when she's losing weight. It's dehumanizing and reduces you to just a sexual object. I'm also the person that when a guy mentions "chick flicks," I say "oh, as opposed to a '**** flick?'" When they say they want to go to Hooters "for the atmosphere and the food" I say, OK, then let's go to this great sports bar with terrific wings I know of where all the waiters are hot guys dressed in tight white pants with bulls-eyes painted on their crotches called "****'s." If you're in it for the atmosphere, then the wait staff shouldn't matter, should it? If you want to look at boobies, just admit it. Don't say you're reading Playboy for the articles, no one believes you. Just like no one believes supermodels when they say they were ugly in high school. But I digress .....

    4. Squats can do that to people, I've seen. Might depend on what you eat and where you are in your digestive cycle when you workout. Maybe take a look at your log and what exercise and what urges you're having and try tweaking a little.

    5. Sorry--I'm one of those girls everyone hates.No problems there. Don't notice a change. Again, sorry. (Though there's been some interesting research on the impact of a woman's hormones on hydration during exercise recently.) Using interesting piece of info to try and make up for my lack of suffering.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    1. How do you handle back handed compliments?

    <> I generally say "thank you" to acknowledge the nice part about it...and then laugh/smirk privately at that person for their rudeness or lack of tact. If someone says something I really don't like, such as "I bet you feel SO MUCH BETTER now that you lost all that weight!!!!" I will politely but bluntly set them straight in a hurry by saying something like, "Actually I don't. I felt really good before honestly! But my health risks are much lower now, so I'm pretty happy about that."

    2. For the bustier women do you feel like regardless of what work out you're doing your back and shoulders just aren't getting enough support? (I've invested in some really awesome sports bras that keep the girls in place during the workout but still can't escape achy back and shoulders)

    <> I am pretty busty - 36DD at 5'8" 173 -- but honestly I have never had an issue with pain or lack of support etc. I just wear underwire 24/7 though including during exercise. Have yet to find a sports bra that was right for me but still on the lookout! They are always so tight they hurt, or too loose to provde ANY support.

    3. How do you handle people who tell you not to lose your breasts or butt?

    <> I have never had anyone tell me this. When I first started losing weight my husband joked a lot about not losing my butt because he is a hips-and-bum fan and mine are large. But now he just comments that I've kept my shape and he's really happy. I know that he was mostly joking though in the past. Honestly I am such a modest & nerdy type of lady that I can't even begin to imagine anyone in my life (besides my husband) commenting on something like that to me ;-)

    4. During workouts do you ever get an overwhelming feeling of needing to poop? (So TMI SORRY)

    <> actually no...perhaps I am not working out hard enough LOL

    5. Any advice for the time of the month?

    <> I am fond of generic Midol and plenty of sexytime to ease the troubles. I don't exercise on my heaviest crampy day but the rest of the time I'm good.
  • Ainevethe
    Ainevethe Posts: 209 Member
    I mostly silently seethe and wish I could handle them internally with as much grace as I somehow manage externally. It's tough some days. And I have heard that before ("you would be so pretty if you were thin!)". Remarkably, I lost a ton of weight for a while after my son was born and you know what I heard? Not that I was suddenly pretty, oh no. Instead I got : "Wow, you got so thin! Are you sick? You looked healthier before!! " Despite walking 2+ hours a day (son had horrific colic and walking was the only way to help the constant crying <from both of us some days lol>) and the healthy diet I was on....people didn't credit it as the hard WORK that it was. I earned that! And yet....

    Moral of the story? There may potentially *always* be someone like that in our worlds. You know that saying "Other people's opinion of me is none of my business" ? I try to remember that. It isn't always easy though.

    That time of the month: more flow-based (oh what a bad coincidence THAT is) based activities instead of jumping based stuff. And advil when I need it. Yes to the boob issues too. I can only say when I lost the weight I had less pain. I had less breasts though of course.. I tried to embrace the ballet dancer look with my tragic barely- B's at the time but I missed them. Of course, they are big again and my neck/back/shoulders hurt too. This time, I will embrace change. Besides, if I miss them THAT badly (doubtful), I can buy them back. =D
  • VeggieKidMandy
    VeggieKidMandy Posts: 575 Member
    I tell people to mind their own damn business, but usually what helps with that is not telling my business. I found out a long time ago, to avoid negative comments ( at least a majority of them ) was to not to clue people in about what I am doing. That way people cant really have a comment about my weight loss or an opinion about my health. Once you give people the opportunity to have an opinion about YOUR health and YOUR weight its an open door for a lot of unneeded comments. While some of them may be helpful , most you either just need to take with a grain of salt. Since it seems like these comments are upsetting you, I would make it a point NOT to discuss your weight loss or health with others. Some people just dont know what to say to people when they are confronted with someone heavier than them, or someone who has never had a weight issue themselves. ITs hard for them to be in your shoes. Keep your head up, your doing a great job.