Quick questions for the ladies. Please help
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Whos_Rose
Posts: 19
Hey ladies,
I have a few questions for you some are a little TMI so sorry for that in advance, thank you.
1. How do you handle back handed compliments? For example: You're pretty for a big girl. You've lost 30 pounds, well it'll be more noticeable when you lose 50 maybe. You'll be so beautiful when you're skinny. Or my all time favorite, you have a pretty face.
2. For the bustier women do you feel like regardless of what work out you're doing your back and shoulders just aren't getting enough support? (I've invested in some really awesome sports bras that keep the girls in place during the workout but still can't escape achy back and shoulders)
3. How do you handle people who tell you not to lose your breasts or butt?
4. During workouts do you ever get an overwhelming feeling of needing to poop? (So TMI SORRY) but even when I do my fasted cardio in the morning I still get that gotta go feeling.
5. Any advice for the time of the month?
I have a few questions for you some are a little TMI so sorry for that in advance, thank you.
1. How do you handle back handed compliments? For example: You're pretty for a big girl. You've lost 30 pounds, well it'll be more noticeable when you lose 50 maybe. You'll be so beautiful when you're skinny. Or my all time favorite, you have a pretty face.
2. For the bustier women do you feel like regardless of what work out you're doing your back and shoulders just aren't getting enough support? (I've invested in some really awesome sports bras that keep the girls in place during the workout but still can't escape achy back and shoulders)
3. How do you handle people who tell you not to lose your breasts or butt?
4. During workouts do you ever get an overwhelming feeling of needing to poop? (So TMI SORRY) but even when I do my fasted cardio in the morning I still get that gotta go feeling.
5. Any advice for the time of the month?
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Replies
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1. I've not had weight related "neg compliments", but I get the "you look great for your age" UGH! Okay, I know what I look like I how old I am, thank you? I guess?
2. I'm not overly busty (well, maybe, just totally saggy, ). Get you a PROPER sized bra. I thought I was always like 36B or so. Nope. 30G! (true story). Check out breakoutbras.com. It will change your life, for realz! And eventually, strength training that focuses on your back muscles will greatly improve anyone's posture and strength (tip, push ups and planks are FREE)
3. Um, what? That's a weird comment (is it just me singing Sir Mix-a-Lot's Baby Got Back in my head, now, lol). I wish we could choose what goes and what stays.
4. Yep! TMI, but I jog most mornings, fasted but after slamming a few coffees. I'm glad there's facilities on the trail I run on :laugh: Keeps me regular :drinker:
5. TOM weigh-ins will likely ALWAYS show water gains. Get used to it, do NOT freak. Best tip I've found is to compare the previous month's TOM weight with current--if it's same or lower--you're still losing (even though temporarily higher). Or, just avoid the scale that week or so.0 -
My solution appears to be not hanging around such awful people. Seriously. Where are you finding these people?0
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With the back-handed compliments i get quite annoyed because there's no need for people to make you feel worse about something you're trying your best to change, i just give them a look and walk away, no need to stoop to their level and make a big deal out of it
I ALWAYS get shoulder pains from my girls haha but no matter how good the sports bra is, it's the weight of them that causes it and i think it's something that you can't do too much about really, though they will get smaller as you lose weight so it won't always be so painful!
For people who tell you not to lose your "assets" tell them where to go - especially if they're being rude! If it's an innocent "ohh you have a nice bum, try and keep it" just be like "yeah i'll tell the fat to leave everywhere except my butt" because it's a stupid thing for anyone to say haha ...
OMG this is definitely a TMI topic but i always need to fart when i work out hahaha
When it comes to the time of the month, don't bother weighing yourself, don't worry about your weight or anything like that. And if you get some serious cravings for chocolate or anything huge, just get the tastiest healthy treat you can find (i keep a packet of oat&chocolate bars, which are sooo tasty and not too bad) it just saves you from binge eating and then feeling guilty 0 -
1. How do you handle back handed compliments?
Exactly the same way I handle normal compliments. Usually they mean well but, if not, stay well away. The comments will continue and before you know it, you're up close and personal with the green-eyed monster!
2. For the bustier women do you feel like regardless of what work out you're doing your back and shoulders just aren't getting enough support?
Not a problem I suffer from sadly
3. How do you handle people who tell you not to lose your breasts or butt?
Tell them to mind their own business!
Besides, all you need is a couple of grand to buy new boobs and gym membership to shape that booty
4. During workouts do you ever get an overwhelming feeling of needing to poop?
Have coffee beforehand or whatever else you know gets you pooping quickly. You might still get the feeling but at least you'll know there's none in the tank.
5. Any advice for the time of the month?
Erm... Lots! You're going to need to be more specific.
I have huge cravings so I usually try to workout for extra cals (and to forget about cramps) but I don't stress about going over around TOM. Sometimes the only solution is a spoon and tub of peanut butter. (Don't judge me!
) 0 -
Brush it off. People don't think half the time, and the other half just don't care.
As for pooping: I always have to poop after a run or a long walk. I think its because we're drinking more water and moving things along with the muscle function. I walk/run, poop, shower, then have a snack.
TOM: Drink lots of water and stay away from the scale. You're going to pee out all the water weight after the week is up anyway and you'll be back to "normal" Avoid high sodium foods as they will make you feel even more bloated. Always leave room for a snickers bar though 0 -
I would just distance yourself from people who are trying to make you feel insecure about yourself. Sometimes when people make positive changes, the people around them feel jealous or threatened and they try to sabotage you as a way of dealing with their own insecurity. Those people are not truly supportive and caring. So lose them and surround yourself with people who have enough good stuff going on in their own lives that they can be supportive.
Regarding the poop issue, are you drinking too much coffee? I sometimes I get a feeling of pressure when I do heavy leg presses, but it's not related to needing to poo and it's not when I'm doing cardio. If you really do have to go, then just go and resume your activities. If you feel pressure not related to having to go, maybe it's a hemorroid? Also, if you are eating more fiber you might be more loose for a lil bit!
I am a small C cup so my boobs are fine in my sports bra. Maybe you need to get fitted at a real bra store (Lady Grace) for something that will hold you up.
Finally, I don't do anything different during my period for a workout. I do make sure that I use the extra absorbent tampons though. Pearl Super Plus work great!0 -
1. The only people giving me rude comments are my sister and a friend, both of whom are just jealous. I used to bite my tongue, now is tell them how happy I am and suggest that they might be happier if they joined me. If it doesn't stop, I'm going to say, "I don't want to be fat like you. It's disgusting." We are getting close, especially when they're in the same room.Hey ladies,
I have a few questions for you some are a little TMI so sorry for that in advance, thank you.
1. How do you handle back handed compliments? For example: You're pretty for a big girl. You've lost 30 pounds, well it'll be more noticeable when you lose 50 maybe. You'll be so beautiful when you're skinny. Or my all time favorite, you have a pretty face.
2. For the bustier women do you feel like regardless of what work out you're doing your back and shoulders just aren't getting enough support? (I've invested in some really awesome sports bras that keep the girls in place during the workout but still can't escape achy back and shoulders)
3. How do you handle people who tell you not to lose your breasts or butt?
4. During workouts do you ever get an overwhelming feeling of needing to poop? (So TMI SORRY) but even when I do my fasted cardio in the morning I still get that gotta go feeling.
5. Any advice for the time of the month?
2. I never tried running for that exact reason. I don't do anything that requires bouncing. The girls are too big for that! Swimming is better exercise, anyway - burns more calories and gives you resistance with your cardio. It's easy, too. Doesn't feel like work at all.
3. Nobody says that. Boyfriend jokes about the boobs (he likes boobs), but has voiced no complaints.
4. Not usually. But occasionally. If you gotta go, you gotta go.
5. You know you better than I do.0 -
Hey ladies,
I have a few questions for you some are a little TMI so sorry for that in advance, thank you.
1. How do you handle back handed compliments? For example: You're pretty for a big girl. You've lost 30 pounds, well it'll be more noticeable when you lose 50 maybe. You'll be so beautiful when you're skinny. Or my all time favorite, you have a pretty face.
2. For the bustier women do you feel like regardless of what work out you're doing your back and shoulders just aren't getting enough support? (I've invested in some really awesome sports bras that keep the girls in place during the workout but still can't escape achy back and shoulders)
3. How do you handle people who tell you not to lose your breasts or butt?
4. During workouts do you ever get an overwhelming feeling of needing to poop? (So TMI SORRY) but even when I do my fasted cardio in the morning I still get that gotta go feeling.
5. Any advice for the time of the month?
1) I either ignore them or explain why it bothers me. For example, I feel like people saying "You're so thin, I hate you" is backhanded. And not just because I struggle with body image issues, but because I feel as though they're implying that it is by stroke of luck. The same way when I was big and people told me things like "You're not fat, you're pretty" or "You're cute for a big person" I felt like it was a fancy way of saying "Yeah, but you're different than them." Which felt backhanded. Most people don't realize a compliment is backhanded until you point out why it bothers you.
2) When I was a DD, I sure as heck did. Wearing two sports bras helped, but was very uncomfortable.
3) Well, seeing as I identify as 'other' on the gender spectrum... I'd laugh and tell them losing my breasts was the goal. I never had a butt to lose to begin with. But for other people, I would just explain that you value your health over whether you have big breasts/butts. Honestly, losing boobs and butt seems to be a very common concern for overweight women. Speaking with my sister, I'm sometimes sad about this as it seems for her and some others.. that it's because they become their most confident point (this goes in with backhanded compliments... "You have nice boobs, though!" Yeah, I heard that b*&$5@ a lot.
4) Totally normal. Exercise gets the bowels going. It, actually, helps with constipation, too. I mean, not my constipation because I am in ED recovery and have gallbladder disease. So, not even broccoli can help with mine. But most constipation. lol
5) Light exercise. Sometimes stretches specific to the areas of my cramping helps. If you get bad cramps, don't be afraid to take an extra rest day. However, exercise does help somewhat. And yes, stay away from the scale. Bloating can be insane before and during your period.0 -
I will ditto the Playtex Pearl as being the best. They need to use more colors, though. They have two different sizes or orange and purple. The BIG purple and orange ones are best.Finally, I don't do anything different during my period for a workout. I do make sure that I use the extra absorbent tampons though. Pearl Super Plus work great!
A friend of mine has extremely heavy, leaky periods like me. We both used them all and those Playtex Pearl work best for us both...in the gigando size. We still leak and change a lot, but these are best. (If it sounds like I work for them, I don't, lol. They just really are head and shoulders better than all the others.)
Also ditto the advice to not worry about the scale. It goes up several pounds before and comes down several pounds after. Every month.0 -
1. How do you handle back handed compliments?
A backhanded compliment (that was said a few too many times) was a big part of why I lost this weight & started working out. Whether words are meant for comfort or pain they have power. We decide what kind of power they have over us. We get to choose to allow others to hurt us, spur us on for positive change, or ignore them completely.
2. For the bustier women do you feel like regardless of what work out you're doing your back and shoulders just aren't getting enough support?
I was contemplating breast reduction surgery at my heaviest. Well the girls shrank while I shrank so that's not a problem anymore. I understand some women get to stay busty, alas I was not one of them.
3. How do you handle people who tell you not to lose your breasts or butt?
Well, we don't get to spot reduce. So, anyone who really loves you will love you with or without all your current curves.
Love is nice that way.
4. During workouts do you ever get an overwhelming feeling of needing to poop?
No... sorry.
5. Any advice for the time of the month?
Who doesn't enjoy bloating, hormonal mood swings, and cramps? I also have unpredictable cravings, but working out helps with the cramps & gives me extra calories for the food so it's all good.0 -
Hey ladies,
I have a few questions for you some are a little TMI so sorry for that in advance, thank you.
1. How do you handle back handed compliments? For example: You're pretty for a big girl. You've lost 30 pounds, well it'll be more noticeable when you lose 50 maybe. You'll be so beautiful when you're skinny. Or my all time favorite, you have a pretty face.
I ignore them, mostly. If somebody said I was pretty for a big girl, I may tell them I think I'm pretty regardless. If they told me it would be more noticeable once I lose 50lbs, I would tell them that I'm proud of myself for the accomplishment I've made so far. If they told me I had a pretty face, I'd say thank you. But mostly, I ignore comments like that.2. For the bustier women do you feel like regardless of what work out you're doing your back and shoulders just aren't getting enough support? (I've invested in some really awesome sports bras that keep the girls in place during the workout but still can't escape achy back and shoulders)
If your breasts are a certain size, these things will just happen. Mine were never that big, but aside from getting the most supportive sports bra possible or breast reduction surgery, you'll be achy.
I explain to them that my body is MY business, not theirs and that I am focusing on getting healthy for ME, not creating the body that THEY want. I've said something like this a few times, and the people usually back off.3. How do you handle people who tell you not to lose your breasts or butt?
No, but maybe poop before you work out?4. During workouts do you ever get an overwhelming feeling of needing to poop? (So TMI SORRY) but even when I do my fasted cardio in the morning I still get that gotta go feeling.
I've got nothing. When I went to the gym, I would still go during TOM.5. Any advice for the time of the month?0 -
1. How do you handle back handed compliments?
Usually by getting mad and telling the person some home truths. Doesn't always go down well but I've never really been able to bite my tongue. I advise just ignoring them.
2. For the bustier women do you feel like regardless of what work out you're doing your back and shoulders just aren't getting enough support?
I wear two bras when working out. The first one (next to skin) is a normal bra then on top of that I wear a sports bra. That usually keeps the girls secured enough. I've never really had back problems from them. My back problems are usually lower back from the weight of my fat at the front.
3. How do you handle people who tell you not to lose your breasts or butt?
Not had any of that, although I don't personally want to lose my breasts because I like them big. My butt, on the other hand, can be worked on with squats.
4. During workouts do you ever get an overwhelming feeling of needing to poop?
Yes, I do. Although this usually happens if I workout before I've been. I don't have a specific time that I go so sometimes it's just bad timing. I can usually wait until I've finished the workout. (Sorry TMI)
5. Any advice for the time of the month?
Nope sorry. I'm on the pill so aren't visited by Aunt Flo.0 -
1. How do you handle back handed compliments?
I just smile and tell them, oh I already know it, you just wait!
2. For the bustier women do you feel like regardless of what work out you're doing your back and shoulders just aren't getting enough support?
tight tees and sports bras
3. How do you handle people who tell you not to lose your breasts or butt?
I usually tell them that if they like them so much I can give them a cheek or a boob so they can keep them and that they would be at least 5 pounds less for me.
4. During workouts do you ever get an overwhelming feeling of needing to poop?
Yes. I go.
5. Any advice for the time of the month?
Water, warm showers, slow walks, love your midol and eat chocolate if you have to.0 -
My solution appears to be not hanging around such awful people. Seriously. Where are you finding these people?
I have a horrible family/friend group that's not very sensitive or supportive. *shrugs* but they aren't people I can just push out of my life. I've told them how it makes me feel but they just claim I'm overly sensitive.0 -
With the back-handed compliments i get quite annoyed because there's no need for people to make you feel worse about something you're trying your best to change, i just give them a look and walk away, no need to stoop to their level and make a big deal out of it
I ALWAYS get shoulder pains from my girls haha but no matter how good the sports bra is, it's the weight of them that causes it and i think it's something that you can't do too much about really, though they will get smaller as you lose weight so it won't always be so painful!
For people who tell you not to lose your "assets" tell them where to go - especially if they're being rude! If it's an innocent "ohh you have a nice bum, try and keep it" just be like "yeah i'll tell the fat to leave everywhere except my butt" because it's a stupid thing for anyone to say haha ...
OMG this is definitely a TMI topic but i always need to fart when i work out hahaha
When it comes to the time of the month, don't bother weighing yourself, don't worry about your weight or anything like that. And if you get some serious cravings for chocolate or anything huge, just get the tastiest healthy treat you can find (i keep a packet of oat&chocolate bars, which are sooo tasty and not too bad) it just saves you from binge eating and then feeling guilty
You're a super hero this was perfect. Thank you!0 -
My solution appears to be not hanging around such awful people. Seriously. Where are you finding these people?
I have a horrible family/friend group that's not very sensitive or supportive. *shrugs* but they aren't people I can just push out of my life. I've told them how it makes me feel but they just claim I'm overly sensitive.
I disagree: distance yourself from them. And before you say you can't, consider the alternative.0 -
How do I handle back handed compliments..... I don't. Whatever opinion or thoughts they have, I cannot control. I just say thank you and let it go. You teach people how to treat you. If you present yourself as a confident person, the backhanded compliments just roll off your back and they don't get to win.
A good bra helps with the back issues as well as adjusting your posture correctly.
For those who say don't lose your butt or breasts, well, tell them you will get right on that as soon as they develop a brain. Obviously they are not competent enough to grasp the concept that you have no control over that.
Yes sometimes I have to run to the bathroom either during or after exercise.
For that time of the month, drink plenty of fluids to help with water retention, if you have an urge for chocolate, eat it within reason, and I find pilates and mild form of exercise that helps some with cramps.0 -
At my Great Grandads funeral his brother (in his 90's) hugged me goodbye, picked me up and the announced to the room
"shes a lovely girl but i wouldnt want to carry her too far"
I responed by saying "nobody asked you to, so put me down"
I allowed this, even though i felt it rude of him, i was nice to him because it was his brothers funeral, and I let it go over my head because he was old and some old(er) people tend to think they can say what they like.
on that note...
my gran once said to me (I was about 17) "you would have a lovely figure if you could afford plastic surgery on your tummy"
i was not as polite to her in my response, we often clash on things even though i love her dearly, but she hit the "i say what i want without thinking of who i could upset" way of thinking a long time ago.
in general, I smile, node or if Im on a bad day (can be very moody) I come back with a charming insult- compliment straight back at ya.
cant help on the big boob front of things because i dont have big boobs. so this also covers loosing them, there is not much too loos, however i could probably loos my bum twice over and still have a good sive behind lol
working out makes me fart ALOT0 -
Haha anytime! Glad I could be of help
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1. I get you have a pretty face a lot! I know that people mean well when they say this but they should really think about how it will make a bigger girl feel. I had a friend who would consistently tell me not to lose any weight because I was perfect, at the time I weighed 240 and she was like 120. The solution to her not supporting me on my weight lose journey? I dumped her
2. I do have back pain after workouts and I am bustier, I have not found a solution other than ibuprofen
3. I have not had to deal with this thankfully although I think my husband worries haha
4. Nope haha!
5. Relax, give yourself a little break. You can still workout but just take it easy. Also, Midol 0
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