Who are the most & least supportive people of your goals?

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elektrolization
elektrolization Posts: 40
in Motivation and Support
My fiancé is the best. He helps me cook so that I don't feel like i'm constantly preparing food all the damn time and he measures out portions and really tries to make me feel good about myself and loved no matter what. He goes for walks with me and convinces me to get my butt off the couch.

My worst contender is my own mother. She hated the last time I weighed 50 lbs less, and constantly ragged on me for looking "too skinny". I was 5'4" and 150 lbs so definitely not skinny by any means. And here I go again, telling her about my new effort to get back to that weight from my current 204 lbs and she says things like "your face will be sunken in" or "don't starve yourself". Lol. News flash mom, I love food too much to quit eating it!

I love both of these people to death, and I just brush off the negativity my mom throws at me rather than starting a fight.

For curiosity and entertainment purposes, who is the least supportive of what you do to better yourself, and who supports you the most?
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Replies

  • cdl42
    cdl42 Posts: 41
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    First I want to say I am so glad you have such support from your fianc'e. Moms you know they mean well, but you are a grown woman now and she is going to have to respect that. Let her know about your plan and why it is that you know it is not unhealthy educcate her.

    O.k. my most supportive is my husband and my girls they love me sooooo much no mater what and they try to help me all the time. My husband is so there for me and he is always honest with me instead of trying to say I am skinny he when I am not he lets me know he is there for me through all the stages of my life and he love me, but of couarse supports a healthy weight loss.

    The least supportive is my sisters, but they are not trying to be unsupportive, it's just in the way they don't respond to me when I am excited about losing and they try to promote unhealthy eating as if I can afford eat what ever I want. They always make excuses which are harmful and they have given up on losing wieght themselves, which they need to do. So when I visit them I feel like the outcast of the family that they don't want to be around, because they would rather eat what ever.

    However I just keep on going and hope that some day I will have lost enough weight to even motivate them. Good luck and if you want to add me as a friend please feel free.
  • AmyG1982
    AmyG1982 Posts: 1,040 Member
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    My husband is the best, like your fiancé he helps with cooking and all that and comes for walks with me and he even makes sure I'm out of bed on time so I can work out in the mornings (he leaves the house at 5am so he gets me up at 4:45)

    The worst is my dad. Buys my favourite pop, chips and chocolate bars every time he comes around when he knows I'm trying to eat healthy again. (did the same thing when I quit smoking, always tried to get me to have "just one"...) but then he'll turn around and say mean things like "why haven't you lost weight yet". he's an *ss.
  • weirdoes_r_me
    weirdoes_r_me Posts: 1 Member
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    Your mom may be a little confused about your goals and how you see yourself, but I can imagine how those comments don't help your fitness mission. On the other hand, your fiancé sounds wonderful! How great for you guys to be a team working toward your goals!

    My wonderful boyfriend is both the MOST and LEAST supportive person in my weight loss plan :tongue: He tells me I can do anything but I look great no matter what. He encourages me to go walks and to kick butt at the gym. He asks me about my calorie counts and jokes with me when I do an extra workout on the weekend so I can drink wine with dinner.

    However, he is a couch-potato, gamer-geek, junk-food junky! He is constantly wanting me to sit and TV binge with him for 6+ hours in a day. He always wants to go out for pizza, BBQ, IHOP or the Chinese food buffet! And he doesn't seem satisfied unless there are chips in the cupboard and ice cream in the freezer. It just makes me crazy when I am having a hard day and junk food craving, then he says "You're stressed out, why don't we just go out for dinner? Something greasy always makes you feel better!"

    I know he means well but it has been a real hindrance to my goals.... The last two years we have completely revamped out lifestyle to be healthier and we have come a longs ways. Now if only he can keep his unhealthy habits quieter LOL :noway:
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    Most supportive is my husband. He is above all my greatest positive influence -- and now my partner in healthy living, cooking, activities, everything. He is just awesome in so many ways, and while I lost the first much-needed 30-40 lb before we met, I doubt I'd be down 100 more pounds without him.

    There's really no one in my "real" life who is unsupportive - and for that I am grateful. I've had the occasional comment of "don't lose too much" or "You're looking too thin lately" and I just chalk it up to people not being accustomed to my new weight and changes in my appearance. There's no one who is a real offender in that area though.

    Being honest here...I like and value all of the people on MFP friends list but I have to say that I feel most discouraged by some of them, though usually they mean well I have felt a bit attacked or lectured about my habits and preferences by those who are big on lifting heavy, eating 100% clean, low sugar, Paleo, vegan, etc. I just try to let it go over my head most times, or delete the person if it's more of an issue. But I admit that I am a perfectionist and people pleaser so it does get to me sometimes. At the end of the day though it's my body and if several hours of hiking followed by pizza and/or an ice cream sundae makes me happy and I'm healthy by medical standards...that's how I'll live my life.
  • Adc7225
    Adc7225 Posts: 1,318 Member
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    My MFP Pals are the most supportive . . . my mother and brother are pretty supportive though they think I need to stop! But they won't come right out and say it they just make comments about being glad when I do stop.

    I also have a co-worker who is supportive in his own way :smile: He will compliment me and even works out with me but he will also buy me cookies and candy usually at the worst times.

    I would say my co-workers and one good friend are the worst. Co-workers seem to always have something to say that makes no sense at all. One will even ask me what size I am wearing just so she can comment that it wouldn't fit her (get a life), I told her that I was 3D and she has a body like a paper doll - this went over her head!

    My good friend was the one that caused me to change my goal weight from 175 to 150 (no 144) and now she says she will be glad when I stop losing and gain some weight back :huh:
  • mzco14
    mzco14 Posts: 91 Member
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    My husband is awesome. He encourages me and doesn't put me down if I slip up. When I really was focused my mom would say stuff like that's enough. Even a few friends started making jokes about me trying to be a skinny girl. I was not trying to be anybody but me. I've fallen off the wagon but slowly getting back on my fitness goal. Keep brushing off the negative vibes and don't stop until you reach your goals. Self love is the best love
  • maroonmango211
    maroonmango211 Posts: 908 Member
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    My man and my kids are my biggest supporters, they understand my requests for personal time to exercise (or join in) as well have been great about our dietary changes in the last few years (both from intolerances as well as simply adding in new and different flavours and ingredients). We also have a lot of inquisitive, if thats the right word for it, male friends of the family that enjoy debating and discussing fitness related topics and have complimented how far I and my partner have come. Least supportive... it seems all the women in my life from close family and friends to people we see rarely. I have actually been shocked with some of the either rude backhanded compliments or straight out being told either I am too skinny or simply just lucky from genetics and being a YOUNG mother (genetically I come from a line of overweight-food-loving-german-mennonites and I don't know about anyone else but being a mother of 3 makes it a lot more difficult to find time or energy to feel and look good/workout!)
  • elektrolization
    elektrolization Posts: 40
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    Loving all the replies! Looks like a lot of the supportive and unsupportive people have the same qualities! I totally get ya, weirdoes_r_me! My fiance is super supportive but since he's skinny he can eat all kinds of junk with no worries and has a beer or two every night! Fortunately he is pretty good about not keeping unhealthy things around the house. But if he does, for example he'll buy me a box of Skinny Pop popcorn as well as his box of extra buttery stuff. Or buy a pack of turkey bacon/sausages along with breakfast/hot italian sausages and cook both. Keep em coming!
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    I feel like an odd ball on this- I don't have supportive or supportive peoples. mostly because I don't think I rely on outside folks at all.

    I mean I do- but I don't care.

    My BF is very supportive- but I don't care- he is only here 2 days a week- I would say he is more accommodating than supportive.
    My mom doesn't think highly of my power lifting- but again- I don't care.

    Perhaps it's because I'm insanely busy and I live alone most of the time- I dont' have time to deal with that- I just do the things I do.

    Shrug- So I guess mom and BF - but again- neither bother me either way- I just do what I do and press on- my goals- my business my grind. Be internally supportive- then you never have to worry about who is or isn't' supporting you.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    My husband is the most supportive. He encourages me by being cool with me taking time out for exercise, if we 're going out to eat he asks where I can find something that works for me, compliments me on my successes, cheers me up when I feel like I've had a failure, etc. It's a bunch of little things that all add up to support. I can only hope that he feels the same about me.

    I have plenty of neutral people but nobody who tries to discourage me in any way.
  • ASH2038602
    ASH2038602 Posts: 215 Member
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    My boyfriend has been really awesome. He isn't doing this with me (though he should be, and I am hoping to get him on board) but he is still very supportive of me. We are on a really really tight budget, and he still makes room for the foods that I need and my gym membership. He also helps me find healthier options, advises me on fitness stuff, and motivates me to stay positive when I have a set back. I wouldn't say I have anyone that is super unsupportive, but my best friend makes jokes sometimes that make me want to kick him in the circulars. I think he's just mad I dont drink as much with him or bring him home made desserts anymore lol
  • yogicarl
    yogicarl Posts: 1,260 Member
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    - the most and least supportive -
    - me and err - oh yes - me.
  • winbig1982
    winbig1982 Posts: 43 Member
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    My fella is super supportive and unsupportive at the same time -.He compliments me and encourages me and yet come an evening is sitting down with 20 bags of crisps and trying to get me to eat them with him :/ I dont know where ive found the strength to refuse but I do and then he starts encouraging and praising me again - Weird but I understand why xxxx
  • Tiff050709
    Tiff050709 Posts: 497 Member
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    In all honesty I would have to say the most support I get is from people on here. No one in my real life really supports me.
    BUT at the same time, this is something I have to do for me so I don't think I really want to rely on others for support. It's nice to get a cheer here and there though!
  • buttfacedprincess
    buttfacedprincess Posts: 7 Member
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    Most people in my life are completely neutral on the support scale, unless I bring up hitting a milestone that I consider important. I think the least supportive thing that has ever been said to me was the BF saying, "I like your belly, I'm gonna miss it when it's gone." Generally, though, everyone is my life is happy as long as I'm happy and healthy.
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
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    Who are the most & least supportive people of your goals?

    All my friends on MFP. They tell me I'm insane when I log a workout and then they say "Great job" anyway.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
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    Me and... Me.
  • Jim_Barteck
    Jim_Barteck Posts: 274 Member
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    Definitely my wife has been very supportive. She teased me that she's going to make me stop losing weight if I "get too far ahead of her" in fitness (she's already at a very healthy weight but would like to lose a few pounds). When I told her that I wasn't stopping until I hit my goal, she said that then I would have to manage her diet so she could keep up as well.

    (Before the naysayers jump in, I'm the one in the family who does all the grocery shopping and meal preparation as well as being the one with the fitness training and background. So it's a completely reasonable thing for her to say in our relationship dynamic.)

    As soon as the new scale arrives in a couple of days (so we can get an accurate starting weight and BF%), I'll be setting her up with her own account on MFP and she's going to be joining me in being the fittest parents for our kids that we can be.

    It's pretty much impossible to get more supportive than that.

    Negatives? I feel very fortunate to say that no one is trying to hold me back. Family and friends have all been very supportive, and my group of MFP friends is amazingly supportive each and every day.
  • nespinosa3
    nespinosa3 Posts: 116
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    Most supportive definitely my husband :) he has been so awesome...he takes care of any errands we need to while I go work out, carpools with me early so I can go to the gym (we have one car), has learned how to weigh food. He's not on any diet, but he doesn't bring anything on the house that would tempt me. If he ever wants good food or dessert, he gets something that he likes and that I don't care about. And on those days where the weight doesn't go my way, he listens to my rants and gets me back on track.
    Least supportive, without intention, some coworkers. My area is fuuuuull of food always. It is really hard to decline everything that you love. And they go out to eat every, single, day...not just eat any sandwich, but delicious stuff...and every single day I have to stay by myself eating my healthy lunch. Like I said, not intentionally, but there are days where I just want to scream because I'm the only one who cannot be eating desserts all the time.
    Here on MFP I've found extremely supportive people who always have very helpful things to say, whether it's advice or info that they have learned on their process. I'm sad to say I've also found some people here who take the time to post something completely unhelpful. It's about 50/50, so I'm trying to stay away from the latter.
  • skittle316
    skittle316 Posts: 128 Member
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    My most supportive people are my 2 close friends, but mostly my male gay friend has shown me the most support.
    Least supportive are my mom and sister. My sister says nothing good or bad about my weight loss,and my mom implied I had an eating disorder even though i eat 1800 calories a day.
    I don't care though, it's funny how she tries to be healthy by eating carrots and celery and changing nothing else.
    I'm not spiteful, so once I reach my goal weight/bf% i'm going to help my mom start loosing weight. She used to be 190lbs at 5'7, it seems like she's gained a good 40lbs since then and I worry since her waist has to be at least 50 inches.

    Could care less about my sister, she's pretty slim herself but drinks spinach smoothies and wonders why she's not loosing weight :laugh:

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