VENT: So much negativity!! Ugh!!

Options
VenusSparks
VenusSparks Posts: 40
in Motivation and Support
Hello lovely people - I just need to vent - advice is always welcome.

Anywho.. my family in the Philippines (where everyone seems to be born skinny and remains skinny) have always judged me because of my size. Despite that, I always try to keep a positive outlook and just laugh it off. However, today I have had enough! I posted a new pic of me with a cute little hat, keeping in mind that in the pic I have lost 10 or so pounds (and you can certainly tell the difference) and worked hard for those 10 lbs to come off. The first comment from my family is "OH YOU'RE SOOO FAT!". Why thank you for flushing my hard work down the drain! That was my turning point to just cut certain people from my family off. I'm tired of all this negativity when I have enough to deal with on my own. This is so sad b/c I feel like my family should be supporting me - not making fun of me. This has been years and years of negativity and getting called FAT.

I don't know if I did the right thing by cutting them off. If you have experienced this before - What do you do to block off the negativity? When is the turning point when you have had enough of this crap? Did you have to cut people off b/c of them constantly bringing you down? So many questions - but I feel like I did the right thing for me. Your advice will be super helpful :) Thanks for reading.

Replies

  • VenusSparks
    VenusSparks Posts: 40
    Options
    IDK how to add the pic :(
  • Hell_Flower
    Hell_Flower Posts: 348 Member
    Options
    It's hard when people are so negative. But honestly...channel the anger and upset into getting to the gym and continuing with your bad self :) If your family are living in the Phillipines and you're in USA - well, that's enough distance. Channel it, lose the weight then imagine the looks on their faces when you go to visit, teeny tiny.

    Cultural differences also make a big difference - one thing I've always noticed from travelling, specifically around South East Asia, is that people are not afraid to tell you if you are big. When I was a UK size 10, I was told I couldn't buy shorts in a shop in Malaysia "Because bumbum too big, not enough fabric. You love the foooood". Asians are not embarrassed to call bodies as they see them - because compared to most Asians, my bum is big. They weren't neccesarily being rude, they were just telling me why I physically couldn't find a pair of shorts. Is English their first language? Sometimes, the idea of using euphenisms is lost.

    Sorry, not much help here! But their comment doesn't take away from your hard work. You did the work. You got the results. Continue in the same manner. Show them.
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,573 Member
    Options
    My dad used to call me fat even when I wasn't. He said being near me when I walked by was like The Elephant Walk. He thought he was funny. He wasn't. I understand your frustration.
  • starbucktigh
    starbucktigh Posts: 170 Member
    Options
    That's awful! I'm sorry you had to experience that from family. I would have been tempted to write back "OH, YOU'RE SOOOOOO RUDE!" Attitudes like theirs aren't going to help you, so I think limiting exposure to them as much as possible isn't a bad idea.
  • thegreatcanook
    thegreatcanook Posts: 2,419 Member
    Options
    Ya, it's upsetting. My family was insensitive too. But then I realized that they were right. You can add me if you'd like.
  • knitapeace
    knitapeace Posts: 1,013 Member
    Options
    I'm seeing this from a slightly different angle because of recent events in my life. I'd say to you that you're fortunate your unsupportive family is so far away. The easiest way to avoid allowing them input into your life and choices is to be more particular about what you share publicly on social media. This is something I'm dealing with right now, and I've had to take a Facebook hiatus to re-evaluate my tendency to overshare and to let people's opinions on my oversharing affect me too deeply. Just a thought.

Categories