Dealing with regret

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Jenni_MFP
Jenni_MFP Posts: 36 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I messed up this morning and ate something I know I shouldn't have eaten. I've been so good the last 2 or 3 weeks and have been so proud of myself. I didn't even really "need" to eat this bad treat this morning, so I have no idea why I did.

Now I've spent the rest of the day wallowing in self-pity and regret, and I know that isn't good. Everyone makes mistakes, and I do recognize that one slip-up doesn't mean that I'm not still on track. How does everyone else deal with that regret and loathing feeling? I just want it to go away so I can feel proud of myself again. That proud feeling is what keeps me motivated, and without it I'm scared I'm going to lose motivation :(

Replies

  • cattitude123
    cattitude123 Posts: 50 Member
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    Forgive yourself, it's a human thing to give in to temptation sometimes, then go back to your meal plan, maybe a little extra cardio
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
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    Don't demonize food and just eat whatever you'd like as long as it fits within your day's calorie/macro needs.

    I mean. I had cheesecake and kettle popcorn with brunch, and had some protein fudge an hour ago. I've still lost 13lbs so far eating "bad" food almost daily.

    I can guarantee you that once you stop looking at food as being "good" or "bad" you will stop feeling regret.
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
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    I quit putting labels like "bad" on foods and found ways to work it into my calories. For me putting something off limits makes me want it even more and using words like bad and cheat don't do anything to help with the emotional side of things. If anything it just makes it worse.

    If I mess up in the middle of the day I figure I have two options. Adjust the rest of my meals so it will fit or take the hit for it and plan better next time. Either way I choose I refuse to beat myself up for it.
  • Aero1dynamic
    Aero1dynamic Posts: 702 Member
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    The simple answers is, don't. Don't feel guilty for eating something you enjoy, especially if it fits into your daily macros. If it threw you over your count for the day, well, everyone should have a "cheat" day anyway. It's not going to derail 3 weeks of hard work and diligent tracking. You are ALLOWED to have treats! You just have to wrap your mind around that idea =)
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,837 Member
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    In for self-shaming.
  • ksolksol
    ksolksol Posts: 194 Member
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    What helped me was to give myself radical permission to eat anything I like. Anything. Nothing is off the table. This keeps me from making foods more alluring by turning them into some kind of forbidden fruit.

    And if I really want the slice of pecan pie, I'm gonna have it.

    It's not some kind of moral failing to eat something that's not on your standard meal plan. Take it easy on yourself and move on.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    What helped me was to give myself radical permission to eat anything I like. Anything. Nothing is off the table. This keeps me from making foods more alluring by turning them into some kind of forbidden fruit.

    And if I really want the slice of pecan pie, I'm gonna have it.

    It's not some kind of moral failing to eat something that's not on your standard meal plan. Take it easy on yourself and move on.


    I agree with this 100%.

    Making the healthy eating thing a black/white, all or nothing type of situation is what kept me morbidly obese. Fitting in things I love and making smarter choices has gotten me down to a healthy almost-normal weight.

    If you ate something that really screwed up your day's calories/macros and wasn't worth it at all to you...just say, "Welp, not gonna have that again...next time I will have (insert name of worth-it-to-you item) instead". And by this I'm not saying substitute celery for ice cream...I just mean something you really like that fits into your day and is worth it.
  • LanceKarcher
    LanceKarcher Posts: 43 Member
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    What did you eat? A loaf of Archer cinnamon bread? A 6 lb, burrito? Could always be worse.
  • Snip8241
    Snip8241 Posts: 767 Member
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    Stop!!! You didn't mess up. You gave in to something you wanted. Are you giving up treats the rest of your life?
    You will find that the successful folks here allow themselves the things that they deem treats.
    One treat won't ruin all of your progress it may actually keep you on track!!

    :smile:
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    Log it and move on!
  • bybyadipocytes
    bybyadipocytes Posts: 51 Member
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    Think about what you were doing or feeling when you chose to eat that food. Maybe you have a trigger? Maybe you just wanted the food and if so, great, eat up…

    run an extra mile or get out and play some ball. you didnt fail, you just indulged…
  • Derpes
    Derpes Posts: 2,033 Member
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    Be prepared to lose motivation.

    You will not always feel "fired up" to do what it takes to lose weight.

    Sometimes you have to enjoy things. Sometimes you will have bad days and sometimes you will not feel like logging or exercise. Don't let the motivation trap get to you.

    Don't let the way you feel dictate the way you act, rather, let the way you act dictate the way you feel.
  • yc4king
    yc4king Posts: 117 Member
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    Not every day has to be a big deficit. It's ok to have a "break even" day etc. What you DON'T want to do is say "well, i already screwed today up so I might as well just binge for the rest of the day now".

    You should look at your calorie deficit over the week, one bad day doesn't ruin a whole week...
  • Barbellarella_
    Barbellarella_ Posts: 454 Member
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    So I messed up this morning and ate something I know I shouldn't have eaten. I've been so good the last 2 or 3 weeks and have been so proud of myself. I didn't even really "need" to eat this bad treat this morning, so I have no idea why I did.

    Now I've spent the rest of the day wallowing in self-pity and regret, and I know that isn't good. Everyone makes mistakes, and I do recognize that one slip-up doesn't mean that I'm not still on track. How does everyone else deal with that regret and loathing feeling? I just want it to go away so I can feel proud of myself again. That proud feeling is what keeps me motivated, and without it I'm scared I'm going to lose motivation :(

    Practice not feeling guilty and moving on.
  • Jenni_MFP
    Jenni_MFP Posts: 36 Member
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    You guys are fantastic! Thank you. I seriously already feel so much better after reading all of your responses, and they are very wise responses.

    All of you are right... it's important to not look at food as "good" and "bad", and then this will never be an issue. That's something I'm going to have to consciously work on doing.

    I took all of your advice, logged it, and I'm still under my macros for the day so I'll just eat a healthy dinner tonight, call it a day and move on to tomorrow... freshly motivated all over again!

    Big virtual hug to all of you! :)
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
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    You guys are fantastic! Thank you. I seriously already feel so much better after reading all of your responses, and they are very wise responses.

    All of you are right... it's important to not look at food as "good" and "bad", and then this will never be an issue. That's something I'm going to have to consciously work on doing.

    I took all of your advice, logged it, and I'm still under my macros for the day so I'll just eat a healthy dinner tonight, call it a day and move on to tomorrow... freshly motivated all over again!

    Big virtual hug to all of you! :)
    you got this:flowerforyou:
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
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    So I messed up this morning and ate something I know I shouldn't have eaten. I've been so good the last 2 or 3 weeks and have been so proud of myself. I didn't even really "need" to eat this bad treat this morning, so I have no idea why I did.

    Now I've spent the rest of the day wallowing in self-pity and regret, and I know that isn't good. Everyone makes mistakes, and I do recognize that one slip-up doesn't mean that I'm not still on track. How does everyone else deal with that regret and loathing feeling? I just want it to go away so I can feel proud of myself again. That proud feeling is what keeps me motivated, and without it I'm scared I'm going to lose motivation :(

    Practice not feeling guilty and moving on.

    ^^This. And it takes time. For some of us, a LOT of time.

    Best of luck, OP. :flowerforyou:

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