Lost my oomph.

ToughHippieChick
ToughHippieChick Posts: 698 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi there.

I've been fighting the weight loss battle off and on for about 10 years. In the last year, I've also been fighting the quit smoking battle.
I haven't had much success with either.
I don't feel like giving up or crying or screaming. I don't feel hopeless. I don't hate myself or my body. In general, I think I'm a pretty awesome person.
But I'm starting to feel a bit resigned to being an awesome person who also happens to be overweight and smokes.
But I want to feel stronger than that.

I've tried to figure out what my "block" is in accomplishing these particular goals. I'm great at accomplishing most other goals in my life. I have determination. I set goals and go after them. However, when I think about these 2 goals, I just feel...... tired. That's the perfect word to describe the mental and physical sensation. Just plain tired.

I think maybe I'm lacking some structure. I'm accountable to no one but myself. Everyone in my life loves me "just the way I am," which is a blessing, but it doesn't really support me in my goals. I work from home, so I'm here all day alone. Home, by the way, is extremely rural; about 30 miles from town.
A personal trainer would be great, but I can't really justify the expense and commute.

So, I guess I'm looking for others who "get" where I'm coming from. No sad story. No frantic manic attempt to lose weight quick. No good excuses. Nothing much outstanding at all. I'm just an average 40 year old chick who needs to lose some weight and quit smoking but can't seem to find the inner oomph to do it.

Simple "me too"s as well as specific suggestions are greatly appreciated. :)

Replies

  • mlittle71
    mlittle71 Posts: 10 Member
    First - stop hating yourself! You need to love yourself enough to start taking care of yourself better. Yes, everyone in your life may love you "just the way you are", but they will love you even longer if you are healthier. They don't want to see you die early from cancer, heart disease, whatever else smoking and extra weight might cause.

    This is similar to something my husband said to me a few days ago. To not take care of yourself is a selfish thing to do. He still loved me at 240 but is happy to see the weight come down because of my health.

    People say that you lose weight for yourself alone but it's simply not true all of the time. Especially when you have family the depends on you. Your friends and family may not be pushing you to change but deep down they know what's best. Maybe you can ask them to help you stay motivated and let them know its ok to say something when they see you slip.

    I'll be 56 years old when my youngest child graduates from high school, she's only 4 now. I wouldn't have lived long enough to see that if I had stayed on the path I was on.
  • Palamedes
    Palamedes Posts: 174 Member
    I gave up smoking when I was 20. I used my tried and true motivation strategy which consists of finding someone else who wants to quit smoking and make a bet. The amount of money or goods behind the bet is immaterial to me. I let my competitive nature take over. I went cold turkey. The hardest part of giving up smoking was to break my established habits (unlearning is three times more difficult than learning.) After I broke my habits, I found that I could easily live without smoking. This method might not work for you. You might need the patch to help with the craving for nicotine. Whatever you need to do to give up smoking will be well worth the effort involved. By the way, until you have quit smoking for over a decade, you have not really quit. Therefore, guarding against backsliding is important.

    Getting and staying at a healthy weight works pretty much the same for me. I started with a bet that motiviated me to start losing weight. Now I'm working on quitting the habit of weighing too much. This is actually harder than quitting smoking. The basic equation is simple. "Eat less. Move more." The actual implementation of a strategy to eat less and move more is more complicated.

    Again, we are talking about establishing new habits. My first habit change was to log everything I eat and drink. I actually started doing this with Fitbit and then changed to keeping track with MFP. If you eat or drink, you log it. After a while, you will start thinking about what you eat or drink before you eat or drink. You will start making better choices. Instead of that bag of chips, you might have some nuts. Instead of going out to dinner, we might just stay in and have a salad. You need to find what works for you. Don't be afraid to try different ideas along the way. If you start changing little things and focus, you will start making progress.

    I tend to go all out when I start moving more. That is not such a good idea. I started by going to my local gym and walking on the treadmil. At some point, I put a light on my bike and started riding before the dawn. I'm addicted now to early morning bike rides. Moving more can also be done by changing habits. When you go to the store, park far away from the door. That simple increase in steps helps a lot. I also have a Fitbit Zip clipped to me every waking moment of the day. Play a game with yourself to see how many days in a row you can get 5000 steps. When that gets too easy, go for 10k steps a day. Walk the mall. Join a Yoga class. You will find something that makes you move if you look for it.

    You don't have to quit smoking or lose weight for other people. You can simply do this for the selfish reason that quitting smoking and losing weight is good for you. If you start on this journey, the road will be long. Do this for you.

    I have a poem I read when I start a new journey. The poem is Ulysses by Alfred Tennyson. Let me quote to you the last lines.

    "We are not now that strength which in old days
    Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are, --
    One equal temper of heroric hearts,
    Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
    To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."
  • valjean90
    valjean90 Posts: 2 Member
    I feel I'm in a somewhat similar stationary place when concerning my exercise habits and overall health. I've made small improvements over time, but I have yet to establish a solid exercise regimen. I reflect back to when I was in school. I played a lot of sports after school. My coaches drove me to perform and the sports provided a lot of structure to maintain those habits. One of the side effects from those days was that I had excellent health and was in great shape. When I reflect on that, one thing that stands out is how much effort it took. You can't just make a halfway effort for a few weeks or go to the fitness center only once or twice a week only to do a couple exercises and then expect results.


    It has to be a full commitment with both the drive and structure to persist. I find myfitnesspal provides a good reminder and makes up some of that structure.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    i was able to quit smoking when i realized that i was letting those little things stop me from doing so much cool stuff.
  • 1HappyRedhead
    1HappyRedhead Posts: 413 Member
    I actually read exactly what you wrote, so..... I'm just going to say "I get it". I remember that feeling.
    I've never smoked, but dealt with the weight thing for years of my life. Lost your "oomph" is a good way to put it. Getting tired just thinking about the road ahead is a good way to put it. And although like you, I was perfectly happy in my own skin and loved by others, I wanted it for me and couldn't manage to take that first step. I know the exact moment in my life that I said "that's it", and changed my habits, but I also know it was a long time coming and not completely defined by that one moment. I had to be ready, and it took me a long time and much struggle to become ready. Now I can say I'm happier than I've been in awhile. I look forward to things I never thought possible (exercise of any kind!). And I don't miss a lot of the things I thought I couldn't do without. I've learned moderation, in all things. I eat what I want, most of the time, just less of it. I've lost 47lbs and still have a long way to go, but I'm getting there. I sincerely hope you do too. Here's to finding your oomph! :flowerforyou:
  • maradanielle
    maradanielle Posts: 47 Member
    I have done both the quitting smoking and losing weight... for to quit smoking I went cold turkey, not because I wanted to, but because I seriously couldn't afford to buy another pack (negative bank account not so good) but that was almost four years ago now, and I feel so much better.

    As for the weight loss one day my daughter was home sick so I took the day off work and I was looking trough apps and found My Fitness Pal and started logging my food that day. within the next few weeks I started walking around the neighborhood and then when my sister joined me the weight loss thing really took off... I lost 75lbs in about a year . I have since gained a few back but am working on that. I still find myself being lazy if I don't start moving right when I am done with work.

    My advice start slow... start to learn your own body and go from there. Find something you really like (home work out videos, strength/weight training... etc.) and stick with it but every once in a while switch it up just so you don't get bored. :)
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    Have you tried making some friend on here? There have been a few on there that have made all the world of difference in my journey by providing lots of motivation, not necessarily the rah rah you go type, but people who have been where I am and gotten where I want to go, if they can do it I can too!
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    I felt like that for a long time. I had to figure out why I had the feelings toward food that I had. I actually love exercising, so that wasn't really an issue, aside from being tired all the time and not motivated to do anything. I had to make myself do it, without thinking about it. I set 3 alarms, one across the room, and had my workout clothes laid out before I went to bed. I didn't belong to a gym, I used DVD's at home, and then videos on youtube.

    I figured out what was behind my food issues, and I created new habits, one at a time, until I no longer had those issues. I pre-log my food for the day, and that helps me stick to my plan. This post was a huge help for me. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/925464-fitting-it-in-giggity ihad actually just posted a blog about habits yesterday. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/ihad/view/the-power-of-habit-part-1-why-habits-matter-688130

    I don't have an answer for quitting smoking. I had to get pregnant before I was able to quit for good. Good luck, OP!
  • blukitten
    blukitten Posts: 922 Member
    I have been in a similar frame of mind recently. I dont hate myself at this weight. My family all loves me the way that I am and I think I am beautiful as well. I quit smoking when I was 20, and have put on the weight since then. I dont want to go to the gym, I dont want to keep track of every thing that goes into my mouth. I just want to enjoy the life I have and live it to the fullest.

    With that being said, I know alot of people will say that I am not living life to the fullest if I am not at a healthy wieght but that is simply not true. I love myself, my children, my husband and all of my family. We have fun and are very happy.

    However, my weight loss is not about right now. I dont think anyones should be only about right now. Right now is not why I am trying to lose the weight. I am trying to lose the weight before I get to an " I have to survive" situation. I know right now, I am in good health, no diabetes, heart issues, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or anything. But I also know that it wont always be that way. I want a future as well. In the future- I know I am 100% guaranteed to get type II diabetes if I dont lose the wieght now. In the future, I know that my family has a history of heart failure, so this could easily happen to me. In the future, my children are gonna be teenagers and want to ride all of the scary rides- I want to do this with them. In the future my children are going to graduate college, get married, have grandchildren- I want to live until all of these things happen and these children are adults and see great grand children. Right now- I am happy- but right now I dont know what the future holds- I just want to improve my chances at having a great- not sick - future with my family.

    Right now- you are happy with your life, smoking, being overweigh, etc. But will you still be that way in the future when chances are you will struggle to breath because of lung cancer, COPD, or any of the side effects of smoking long term. In the future will your family want you to be in a wheel chair, with an oxygen tank, to see you suffer that way? Dont lose the weight and stop smoking because you are happy with how you are now- stop smoking and lose the wieght so that you can stay that way as long as you can!!

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