Obese but happy?
stephiejean37
Posts: 75 Member
I have been heavy pretty much my whole life. At my heaviest I was 335 pounds. Since starting my journey I have lost 44 pounds. To be honest I never really hated how I looked. I was always happy with myself and loved myself. I just woke up one morning and thought I don't want to be the fat girl anymore. I don't want to have to worry about whether or not I can fit into that chair or that fair ride.
Am I the only one who really wasn't all that unhappy being a big person???
Don't get me wrong, now that I have started the journey I don't plan on stopping, but I just don't know why I never felt like I needed to lose weight up until that one morning where I decided to change.
Am I the only one who really wasn't all that unhappy being a big person???
Don't get me wrong, now that I have started the journey I don't plan on stopping, but I just don't know why I never felt like I needed to lose weight up until that one morning where I decided to change.
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Replies
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I used to not worry about it so much. But as I've gotten older, the weight related health issues began to creep up and so did the weight related aches and pains. Then I realized I'd made a mistake in not addressing it sooner.
You starting young = right move0 -
Thats fine you like how you look, but you should do it for your health. I like how my car looks, but I do the proper preventitive maintenance to keep it running- You should do the same with your health.0
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Yeah I can relate...I wasn't all that unhappy about being obese, either.
As a 5'8" woman I was between 250-270 lb for most of my life from age 16-30 and then for a couple years I was closer to 300, topping out at 307. I always felt fairly happy, very energetic, and like I was reasonably attractive. I always had plenty of friends, romance, professional success, and I even liked shopping for clothing no matter my size.
I'm definitely happier with my body now after losing over 100 lb. And I know my health outlook for the future is better, which is important! But for me personally the happiness now is not that different from before...it's basically the same "me" with less anxiety over my clothes clinging, fitting into airline seats, or an unflattering photo being tagged on social media. It's not THAT different. I was happy before and I am happy now.0 -
I am pretty happy with the exception of my health. Not being able to have basic hygiene like properly wiping after yourself as well severe lower back pains and severe lower back pain after walking a few steps in addition to all other attributes that comes with being over 400+lbs is very concerning period. not anymore.0
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How you look is not necessarily tied to how content you are in life. There are plenty of lean people who are miserable and plenty of fat people who are content. It's the same with money - you can find rich, successful people who are miserable and poor people who are content.0
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How you look is not necessarily tied to how content you are in life. There are plenty of lean people who are miserable and plenty of fat people who are content. It's the same with money - you can find rich, successful people who are miserable and poor people who are content.
This. Those who are looking for weight loss to make them "happy" are in for a rude awakening most of the time. I've heard many people talk about losing the weight and still being miserable.
Good for you, OP, for being comfortable in your skin no matter what!! :flowerforyou: I never have been and probably won't be even after the excess is gone but after my sister had a heartattack at 38, I decided to start making changes. My blood pressure is perfect but that doesn't mean it will be forever so I decided the time is now!
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I was always pretty confident too. I had my "holy crap I am so hideous" moments, but they were few and far between. I knew I would look a lot better if I dropped weight, but it wasn't that big of a deal to me. I started this for my health. I was sick of all of the stomach problems I was having everytime I ate which really changed my life in a negative way. I was tired of my knees, feet, and ankles hurting after walking around the mall or park or whatever. I was sick of worrying about dying of heart disease like some of my family members. Now that I have changed my life style the stomach problems are gone, the joint problems are mostly cleared up, and I know I am doing everything I can to keep my heart healthy. After losing almost 40lbs I feel even more confident than I already did.0
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Well, I certainly learned to live with it - until I turned 50. Then I started seeing bad things looming in my future - diabetes? Heart disease? Cancer? Arthritis? (Family history has them all)Am I the only one who really wasn't all that unhappy being a big person???
Point being, many of us get away with abusing our bodies when we're younger but eventually it will catch up with us. I'm at the age now that I don't feel I can get away with it anymore. While I certainly am motivated about being thin and looking better, I'm much more motivated by avoiding those nasty conditions.0 -
I was pretty much content because I'd been fat most of my life (from the age of 7) and I knew nothing else. The last six years however, the weight has taken a toll on my health. I have psoriatic arthritis which pretty much affects all my joints now...not just my feet. Losing weight is a MUST for me now. I'm not happy being in this pain. My asthma is worse as well. I may not ever been thin, but I can certainly be in much better health, less pain and have my heart and lungs in better working condition because I'm able to move better.0
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Can I take a middle ground / pendantic route and say somewhere in the middle? "Happy" and "Unhappy" are pretty subjective. Being obese (full disclosure: being super obese) was not fun, and I knew it. As you say, worrying about fitting into chairs, trying to find clothes that fit, the aches and pains, the difficulty with mobility and the crimp it puts on your lifestyle (Your friends planning a ski trip? Sounds like fun but hurtling down a mountain sounds pretty f'ing dangerous for someone who weighs over 300 lbs, no?). This was all everyday stuff that was limiting to my happiness.
But I one thing I see a lot of on the forums is obese people who talk about being ASHAMED. That's a whole different ball of wax. Nope, not really ashamed. Embarrassed sometimes about taking up space or my *kitten* bumping into things, but not ASHAMED.0 -
Agreed, I definitely get the embarrassed thing. Luckily I never had an issue where I couldn't fit here or there but if I had It would have been mortifying.0
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I was a very skinny child and teenager with very close friends who put a lot of importance on being thin. I don't know at what age or weight I started hating the way I look but now I can't remember a time when I was at a size I was content with. I WISH I had confidence in the way I look but unfortunately I do not. I think it is great that you are confident in your body and I hope you continue to feel that way. 0
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For me, obesity and happiness were two separate entities. I was happy, but obesity and being thinner weren't about happiness as much as for health. It wasn't until I lost the weight that I felt like it not only took away more of the "bad" but also gave me more of the "good." Being healthy has just made life even better.0
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How you look is not necessarily tied to how content you are in life. There are plenty of lean people who are miserable and plenty of fat people who are content. It's the same with money - you can find rich, successful people who are miserable and poor people who are content.
I like this.0 -
I wasn't huge, but I was just over the line into obese. I wasn't particularly unhappy with myself...but my health was deteriorating which is what was important to me. I'm just as happy now as I was then...but I'm a hell of a lot healthier (as indicated by all of my blood work) and I'm more fit now pushing 40 than I was in my mid twenties.0
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Obviously your feelings changed? My guess? You suppressed them before.0
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I always liked myself and felt very confident at my heaviest of 235 pounds (at 5'6"/size 20). It was never an issue of wanting to lose weight so that I could be smaller and prettier. I just woke up one day and realized that my body was uncomfortable; it was limiting me and keeping me from fully participating in my own life.
I actually think that my positive relationship with myself has made my weight loss relatively easy and even enjoyable. I like myself no matter what. I'm not waiting until I reach a certain weight or clothing size to finally be happy, because I've been happy the whole time. I've only gotten happier along the way, because I've learned even more about who I am as a person, and I've accomplished more than I ever thought I could.
I think that learning to love and accept yourself as you are is a crucial part of transformation. If you're lucky enough to start out with that kind of positive mindset, then you're in a great place. 0 -
I used to not worry about it so much. But as I've gotten older, the weight related health issues began to creep up and so did the weight related aches and pains. Then I realized I'd made a mistake in not addressing it sooner.
You starting young = right move
THIS0 -
How you look is not necessarily tied to how content you are in life. There are plenty of lean people who are miserable and plenty of fat people who are content. It's the same with money - you can find rich, successful people who are miserable and poor people who are content.
this is an astute comment. thank you for the post.
even at my heaviest, i was as happy. however, i am happier today than i was 30lbs ago. the difference is that i need two hips replaced and the extra weight was really putting a toll on my body. also, im not as tired as i used to be. but most of all, learning how to manage my nutrition, and realizing i can continue to eat whatever i want to in moderation has made me happier than i have ever been.
i think i will be even happier when i reach my goal weight because my hip pain will subside, i will have strengthened my muscles around my hips and back and hopefully could delay the surgery for a couple of decades. i will have more energy for my kids. and i wont have to be the "fat dad" my kids may be ridiculed for in the future. my girls see me work out and they want to do push ups with me (so cute!). i want my family to know that fitness is just something that is part of life - like eating, going to school, having play dates, etc.
so losing weight will make me a healthier person, better father, and a better husband. nothin will make me happier and i owe it to weight loss.0 -
Nope. I doubt I could ever be happy if I were obese. But it may not be entirely about a number on a scale. Being in control of myself is VERY important to how I view myself. I can't stand to feel out of control of the one thing I should be able to control.0
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Haha I found the same! I'm actually more unhappy now because I have feel twinges of guilt when I go food crazy. And I think it makes me go food crazy more often than I did before. So weird.0
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There are basically two reasons to lose weight:
1) To look better.
2) To be healthier.
Like you, I didn't really care about 1. It wasn't until #2 started banging on my door that it became worthwhile for me to forgo the awsomeness that is eating whatever and however much I wanted.0 -
I have been happy and unhappy at all weights, but to me, my happiness isn't tied to my appearance. It's tied to things like my relationships and my hobbies and my career, etc. etc. etc. My motivation for losing weight is my health, not my happiness.0
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How you look is not necessarily tied to how content you are in life. There are plenty of lean people who are miserable and plenty of fat people who are content. It's the same with money - you can find rich, successful people who are miserable and poor people who are content.
So much of this.
Which is often times why people who are really unhappy with themselves fundamentally reach a goal weight- and realize- that they are still really unhappy.
You can be okay with who you are as a person... and still want to make changes- no one should live their life being miserable. I wish everyone could know that it's OKAY to be okay with you.
That doesn't mean just sit on the side of the road of life and camp out happy you have flat tires- but you can still be okay with yourself and be moving forward personally and professionally.
(i have always viewed the fat acceptance movement in that light- verses the just 100% being okay with being over weight- it had more to do with being okay with you as a human being and being happy with you)0 -
i always say I had no time to be depressed because i had already preloaded on rich tasty food before the day had hardly started, And then i reloaded at lunch and Hey, Ho, .....Here it is time for dinner. Every meal a party. I was pre medicating with food in order to deal with the stress of my day. i wasn't happy, i was in denial. i am happy now.I have been heavy pretty much my whole life. At my heaviest I was 335 pounds. Since starting my journey I have lost 44 pounds. To be honest I never really hated how I looked. I was always happy with myself and loved myself. I just woke up one morning and thought I don't want to be the fat girl anymore. I don't want to have to worry about whether or not I can fit into that chair or that fair ride.
Am I the only one who really wasn't all that unhappy being a big person???
Don't get me wrong, now that I have started the journey I don't plan on stopping, but I just don't know why I never felt like I needed to lose weight up until that one morning where I decided to change.0 -
I always liked myself and felt very confident at my heaviest of 235 pounds (at 5'6"/size 20). It was never an issue of wanting to lose weight so that I could be smaller and prettier. I just woke up one day and realized that my body was uncomfortable; it was limiting me and keeping me from fully participating in my own life.
I actually think that my positive relationship with myself has made my weight loss relatively easy and even enjoyable. I like myself no matter what. I'm not waiting until I reach a certain weight or clothing size to finally be happy, because I've been happy the whole time. I've only gotten happier along the way, because I've learned even more about who I am as a person, and I've accomplished more than I ever thought I could.
I think that learning to love and accept yourself as you are is a crucial part of transformation. If you're lucky enough to start out with that kind of positive mindset, then you're in a great place.
I could not agree more with the above. I really think that's why I have not felt particularly miserable at any point in my 134 lb weight loss and can't relate to some of the issues people have during and following such a loss.
Honestly it kind of bugs me when people insist that attitudes like this are "suppression" of feelings of shame, disgust, self-hate, and the like.0 -
Yeah I can relate...I wasn't all that unhappy about being obese, either.
As a 5'8" woman I was between 250-270 lb for most of my life from age 16-30 and then for a couple years I was closer to 300, topping out at 307. I always felt fairly happy, very energetic, and like I was reasonably attractive. I always had plenty of friends, romance, professional success, and I even liked shopping for clothing no matter my size.
I'm definitely happier with my body now after losing over 100 lb. And I know my health outlook for the future is better, which is important! But for me personally the happiness now is not that different from before...it's basically the same "me" with less anxiety over my clothes clinging, fitting into airline seats, or an unflattering photo being tagged on social media. It's not THAT different. I was happy before and I am happy now.
+1 Very well balanced outlook - Great reply! 0 -
Ehh...
I wouldn't say I am particularly happy to be obese... but it doesn't particularly make me angry either.
I would get uncomfortable in public, swimming ect. but at home I don't 'feel' fat.. if that makes any sense...
However, I am a mother now, and I want to be a healthy role model for my daughter, and look hot for my husband.
I'm also getting fit for me, I don't want to be self conscious in public anymore.
So even though I wasn't upset about being fat, I wasn't happy about it either.
:ohwell:0 -
I can relate to this. I've been overweight most of my adult life and obese for maybe 2 years. I was (and still am) a positive, confident, happy-go-lucky person. I had great relationships, many admirers and my health was pretty good considering my weight.
However, I was getting older and things were changing. My blood pressure was steadily rising and I was tired of being tired and winded after walking up a set of stairs. When it got to a point when I started running from cameras I knew I had to do something.
Other then that not much is different except I was a size 22 then and a size 8/10 now and my eating habits, physical strength, endurance and stamina are all crazy good!0
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