So disappointed in myself

Options
So I used you guys religiously for 10 moths, and lost 45lbs. Then the dreaded plateau. I went to nutritionist, my Cross fit coach, and even a sports performance consultant and had teh full VO2 Max workup done... NOTHING seems to break the curse of the plateau. Then major changes at work, stress etc crept intto my life.... I gained it all back. I stopped caring...

Now all the weight is back with interest.
The blood pressure issues are back
The cholesterol is back

So I have started down the path once again... But I have this nagging, unrelenting feeling of disappointment in myself, that leaves little adulation for the pounds as I lose them now. Hell why be excited for the weight you already lost once... All this effort just gets you back to where you should have been.

Th rational me understands, You feel off the horse, you're back on now, get to ridin... But the emotional side of me is pissed i screwed this up and deserve what I got....

Anyway... just venting as I prepare for my daily walk around the company grounds.

Thanks for listening

Replies

  • Savlona
    Savlona Posts: 84 Member
    Options
    It's not easy, is it. I lost before my two pregnancies then piled it back. You need to take pride in doing it again though, as getting back to it can be even harder than doing it first time. You also know how the health benefits feel. You can do it!
  • miniwheatxoxo
    Options
    Let it go. Really. Let it go. We are not perfect, no sense in beating yourself up. Focus on moving forward and don't look back. You want to change right? Then change your attitude. ( not meant to be rude at all ) Having the power to acknowledge failure and move forward is where its at. Put your damn self on a pedstal and treat yourself like royalty. (eat right, exercise and dont quit-everything will fall into place)
  • coraban
    coraban Posts: 1 Member
    Options
    You are not alone in either feelings or circumstance. Sometimes that helps to know, other times it doesn't. Try to conjure up a loving parent (maybe your real parent, maybe a fantasy parent) that can pat you on the back and say, "You know, it's ok, this happens, just try again," just like you would a little child, it might take some of the harshness out of the disappointment. I think the harshness is pretty damaging to us--the "bad parent"--that aspect of ourselves that NEVER lets us off the hook. Do all the stuff that you (now) know works. You may blast past the plateau, you may not. But try to find that kindness to yourself that I bet you have in bushels for other people. And that's sometimes harder to do than all the exercise and eating-right in the world.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
    Options
    You know you can do this because you already have. The question here is do you WANT to?? If you do, let go of the past, make a decision and move forward. You've got this!
  • _Zardoz_
    _Zardoz_ Posts: 3,987 Member
    Options
    Just to say looking at your logging I think the reason you hit the mythical Plateau is your logging isn't accurate and your eating more than you think. Cups and spoons are not an accurate measure of non liquids. My tablespoon of peanut butter compared to yours could be different and as peanut butter is so calorie dense that could be a lot of calories. Also you seem to have things and meals under homemade or generic, I'm guessing these are from the database and not your own recipes. One persons bowl of chicken salad could be totally different to another's. If your going to do recipes use the recipe builder and do your own. I'll give you a link that will help your logging if you look at that I'm sure you'll have no problem losing the rest of the weight.

    The reason the errors in logging didn't have any effect initially is because your deficit would have been larger as you lose weight this reduced so in the end the errors effected your weight loss. Good luck and really have a look at the link

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1234699-logging-accurately-step-by-step-guide
  • SusanL222
    SusanL222 Posts: 585 Member
    Options
    Let it go. Really. Let it go. We are not perfect, no sense in beating yourself up. Focus on moving forward and don't look back. You want to change right? Then change your attitude. ( not meant to be rude at all ) Having the power to acknowledge failure and move forward is where its at. Put your damn self on a pedstal and treat yourself like royalty. (eat right, exercise and dont quit-everything will fall into place)

    I love this! ^^^^^^^
    Yeah, you've just externalized your disappointment, now turn the page and move on! :flowerforyou:
  • FreeFlyAZ
    FreeFlyAZ Posts: 3 Member
    Options
    I have SO been there. I lost 50 pounds and was soooo happy with myself. With that loss I got with in 5 pounds of my goal but just couldn't reach it. Then a few bagels, tasty tasty beer, and BAM a year later it was all back. It's a **** feeling! (Excuse the expletive, but it is.) Here's the good news. One day I woke up and I was just frustrated with myself. I didn't make a plan. I didn't say, I'd do something tomorrow. I just said, "I'm not eating XXXX anymore. I'm making a change." It took time but I am back to where I wanted to be.

    Get up. Make a change. Not tomorrow, right now. It doesn't matter what you did for breakfast or lunch. Make dinner count, then make breakfast count, and so on. In a sense, it's not about the "pounds lost" number, it's ALL about the consecutive days number. If you slip, aim to beat the consecutive days number again. It is achievable. You've done it once, you know you can do it again.

    On that note, I really wish the counters at the bottom came with a "days in a row" ticker. It would reflect my daily struggle so much better.

    Anyway, good luck getting back to where you want to be.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    Options
    well, you sit around and feel sorry for yourself, or you can go out and do something about it. nutritionist, VO2 work up, coaches... great. but what did you do for yourself?? you need to go out and work harder. clean up the eating. take more control of your actions.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Options
    It happens, but now you are FULLY aware you don't want it to happen again, right?? So don't let it. Put on your big boy panties and get back at it. Find the motivation from you.
  • DaveDeLange
    Options
    I don't think many people can say they haven't slipped up, so you're far from alone.

    I wonder if you hadn't been using scales this would have happened. If you keep doing the right things your body will change at its own pace.
  • mgreenham
    mgreenham Posts: 40 Member
    Options
    Thank you all for your support and even taking the time to read, respond with your opinions and advice. I'm on the horse and I'm riding again. I do know how to get this done, as many pointed out. I did it before...

    Thank you all again
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
    Options
    So you're back now?....QzuZ7mY.gif
  • Spreyton22K
    Spreyton22K Posts: 323 Member
    Options
    So you're back now?....QzuZ7mY.gif

    I hope Hookilau doesn't mind me adding her awesome Gif to my own Welcome back.....I just think it's perfect.

    You aren't the 1st or the last to have lost, gained and then faced doing the whole damn process again. That makes you human and maybe look at it this way, what you learnt the first time round can be applied to this time.

    Mistakes can be avoided, successes enjoyed (again) and now that you have had your vent you can settle in for the journey, being that little bit wiser and more patient.

    Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
    Options
    So you're back now?....QzuZ7mY.gif

    I hope Hookilau doesn't mind me adding her awesome Gif to my own Welcome back.....I just think it's perfect.

    You aren't the 1st or the last to have lost, gained and then faced doing the whole damn process again. That makes you human and maybe look at it this way, what you learnt the first time round can be applied to this time.

    Mistakes can be avoided, successes enjoyed (again) and now that you have had your vent you can settle in for the journey, being that little bit wiser and more patient.

    Good luck :flowerforyou:

    tumblr_mvhkwtuCy81qc542uo3_500.gif

    Ha ha, just kiddin' :bigsmile: