Newbie Needing Encouragement

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magnoliathunder
magnoliathunder Posts: 17 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hello all...I have been reading many of your posts with great enthusiasm, because as you all know, it's easy to feel so alone and desperate when you are overweight. I am a 5'4" woman who has been overweight my entire adult life, but only mildly and I was always in such good shape it never bothered me greatly -- I weighed about 150 when I got married at 22. I basically stayed at that weight or a bit higher until I had my first child -- I gained up to over 200 pounds and thereafter, when I lost the baby weight, I only lost back to about 170 which is where I stayed for many years, going slightly down and then up again after various diets.

I am now 62 years old and am divorced for many years. I always dated and had boyfriends until the mid-90s, when an unfortunate experience caused me to rethink the way I was living and decided to stop dating. It got easier and easier to be alone and basically I was happy, although I began steadily gaining more weight. Then, several years ago after my mother died (I had been her sole caretaker for 2 years), I quickly gained 100 pounds.

I used to look at extremely obese people and wonder how anyone could let themselves get that large. Then one day at my doctor's office, I found that her scale only went to 350 pounds and I could not be weighed, which meant I weighed more than that. I was shocked and declared I would NEVER let that happen again. And immediately I started reducing my caloric intake and lost enough that I was able to weigh the next time and it registered 346. I was sure I would keep going.

I did not. I have gained it back and I feel I weigh even more although my scale at home needs new batteries and I have avoided getting them, so I won't know that I am nearing 400 pounds. But I can feel it. I have absolutely NO quality of life. I cannot move without pain, I cannot stand long enough to go to the drug store, I have to use a motorized chair to get to the grocery store, and I basically am unable to do anything. I am miserable and cannot believe I have allowed myself to be where I am.

I began re-reading many posts on this site (I have been registered here for a while), and last night I decided to try one ... more ... time. I am so healthy other than this burden of weight I am carrying and I long to be free. According to the calculators here, I need about 2700 calories just to maintain my current weight. My doctor had sugggested either surgery or 1200 calories. I think I would get hungry on 1200 calories and relapse, so I have chosen to begin with a daily consumption of 1500 calories and hopefully I will see the pounds come down enough that I can begin to exercise.

It is so difficult to post this here, but I know that putting anything up to the light takes it out of the darkness and shame. Thank you all for your honest and helpful posts that have encouraged me to take this first baby step towards wellness. :smile:

Replies

  • htrombleyl
    htrombleyl Posts: 63 Member
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    Hi. Don't feel so alone. No one here is. I also need to loose 100lbs so you can join my club. I have been doing this about a month and have seen fantastic results. I am on a 1280 calorie a day. Drink lots of water and plan out your day and find some good recipes. I will say you will never put anything in your mouth that you have not checked the label on. I had a chronic illness and recently been feeling better. I went from barely being able to walk to walking over a mile today. You can do it!
  • 3athlt
    3athlt Posts: 131 Member
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    I have over 100 pounds to lose myself, you are not alone. Feel free to add me as a friend.
  • magnoliathunder
    magnoliathunder Posts: 17 Member
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    Thank you so much for your encouragement and congratulations on your success! Tell me, do you find that you feel too hungry on the 1280 calories?
  • Reneesjourney2bfit
    Reneesjourney2bfit Posts: 32 Member
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    I totally understand where you are and how you feel, you are not alone. I have over 200 lbs to lose and on a diet of under 1300 or at least I try, but mostly I concern myself w/ carbs, fiber and sugar, since I am a diabetic. I'm on a 100 carb or less a day diabetic diet. I thought too that I would be starving, but actually I eat 3 meals a day snack and have a dessert even though it may be a sugar free item. I actually eat more now then I did when I was eating crappy. I eat in smaller portions and I guess maybe my stomach is used to eating this way since it's been 2 1/2 months since I started, if I eat too much or a have just a little extra my body will tell me you are completely full and won't let me eat anymore. I've so far to date lost 26lbs ..and right now I can't exercise, because of back problems..hurting to walk, stand, or sit for any length of time..laying on stomach is the only relief I get from pain. So my calorie intake has to stay at that range..since right now I can't do much in exercise. There are lots of recipes you can look up for low carb or low calorie meals...so food don't taste horrible or like cardboard.

    I've been on MFP for about a little under a month..and I love it..I love that it;s easy to track or meals...and you have to be honest w/ yourself about what you eat everyday. Everybody, here is in the same boat as you..and the success stories, make you want to go on and get to your goals, so one day you can inspire someone else.

    You can add me as a friend, or anybody else who wants to add me, we can inspire and motivate each other...as I always say Every journey starts w/ the first step.
  • LadyEllieoftheHouseofKor
    LadyEllieoftheHouseofKor Posts: 9
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    I've been there too. It can be done and you can do it! There is lots of support here and all the encouragement we can muster.
    :happy:
  • FitnessWeb34
    FitnessWeb34 Posts: 67 Member
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    You dont need to feel poorly for sharing that after all this is the place to put our stories. I felt alot like you do when i first started and i was so embarrasses just to even go out side. (yes it was that bad) you just need to make the decision to do it and start with something that you are comfortable with. I have always loved the show "the biggest loser" so i went out and got the wii game and let me tell you it kicked my butt. But it got me started and eventually i gained the confidence to join the gym. I say do what you are comfortable with for now just get up and do it and you will see results. But once it starts getting "easy" for you than its time to up it a little bit. Good luck :-)
  • janetotton
    janetotton Posts: 3 Member
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    I had been gaining weight steady for years. High blood sugar caught up with me and my doctor said "I will give you six months to loose some weight and get this blood sugar down or you will go on meds." He put me on a 1200 calorie diabetic diet. It was the wakeup call I needed. Both my parents died from diabetes that caused kidney failure. I will be honest I was very unhappy at times about not being able to eat as much or what I wanted. I was hungry and felt it was so unfair when coworkers would be snacking and sharing goodies during the day. Somehow I found the strength to stick with it, and it worked. Every meal is a thoughtful decision.

    I plan my meals and I weigh my food so I really know what I am having. This site is wonderful too, so much help and encouragement. I bought an electronic kitchen scale (Escale) that weighs grams, pounds, and ounces. You zero it out for the plate, weigh you food. It's easy to operate. It wasn't expensive on Amazon. Keep it handy on the counter and put it to work.

    You can do it!

    PS, it worked and so far so good with the blood sugar.
  • Jen_1964
    Jen_1964 Posts: 25 Member
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    Hi there! I am sure there are several people on here that can relate to you and your life story about weight. I know i can. I am going to be 50 next month and have well over 100 pounds to lose. I would love to help encourage you. I have been at this for a little over a month and I can attest that journaling your food intake is a great start. Plan your meals ahead of time. I know I struggle when I am at the end of the grocery week and all my prepped food has been used and i have to grab what is left. Every Sunday evening I grill for several days and pre-package my veggies and salads it really helps.

    Welcome to MFP!

    Jen
  • kariannabarnes
    kariannabarnes Posts: 4
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    Hello,

    I love this website, it has help me so much with keeping me on track with my portoin control. I am such a visual person I need to see things in writing for it to be true. It makes me be honest to myself with my eating habit. We all have one time or another said I don't eat that much I shouldn't weigh this much. Now looking back at my eating habits I was a snacker because I never ate breakfast or lunch. The time I came home from work I was straving I would go thru all the cabinets, frig and junk out before dinner. I been gaining weight since my 15 year son was born. I have gained 45 ils. In the last year I have gained 18 als. My son has never seen me smaller.

    What encouraged me was a program on my 600 pound life. I was having dif sleeping one night and stayed up watching tv.That's when this program came on and this woman Penny wanted to change her life for her son. She weigh 530 lbs. She was able to lose 40 lbs. before the surgery but everything changed after the surgery. What I saw was me denial, thinking surgery would change everything. I knew at that point I needed to change my life before it was to late. No one could tell me I needed to lose weigh but me and I found out that night and it was an eye opener.
  • FitOldMomma
    FitOldMomma Posts: 790 Member
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    You've taken the first step...yippiee!

    Now, it's onto the next one. Decide what rate of weight loss you think you can accomplish, without feeling deprived or hungry all the time.

    When I first started I opted for the one pound per week loss. With only a 500 calorie per day deficit that was totally doable. I had over 1700 calories per day allotted. I figured that was plenty; three meals of 500 calories and a 200 calorie snack.

    Once I started losing I upped the goal to 1.5 per week and started swimming. I still have 1450 calories per day plus extra from exercise.

    At first I was overwhelmed by the fact I needed to lose over 100 pounds. That's going to take me forever, is what I thought. Then I remembered it took me 4 years to gain this extra hundred pounds, what's the hurry to lose it? Slow and steady is my motto.

    You can do this! Feel free to add me as a friend. :)
  • magnoliathunder
    magnoliathunder Posts: 17 Member
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    Oh thank you so much for your post. I truly understand being in pain, which is something I never struggled with before and, even though I was overweight, I didn't understand it when others would say "it hurts to do things". I so understand it now.
    I really am not able to exercise either right now, although I do have a recumbent bike I'm going to try to start working on, just to be able to do something. I will add you as a friend, and thank you so much for sharing with me. I wish you much success and health and freedom from pain!
  • magnoliathunder
    magnoliathunder Posts: 17 Member
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    Thank you for your encouragement! I have actually enjoyed charting my food intake today, but I have to laugh at myself -- old habits die hard. My son bought groceries today and when he came home, he offered me a piece of chocolate cake with chocolate icing, which I did not take.
    However, after totalling up my calories on the tracker tonight, I saw that well gee, I still had over 400 calories available so I went in search of that piece of chocolate cake! Fortunately, my son ate it because I told him I didn't want it! That was just enough to stop me from going looking further for something sweet to eat when I wasn't even really hungry! Sigh...baby steps.
  • magnoliathunder
    magnoliathunder Posts: 17 Member
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    Karianna, I saw that program about Penny too. Funny how easy it was to be disgusted with her until I allowed myself to see all that I sometimes do in her actions. It was definitely an eye-opener.
  • allisongracecole20
    allisongracecole20 Posts: 7 Member
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    I have quite a bit to lose myself, so you aren't alone. Feel free to add me if you'd like! ????

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