How do I stick with this?!

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bjm223
bjm223 Posts: 36 Member
This is my 4th time back and I want it to be my last!

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  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
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    Treat it as a lifestyle change - major overhaul of anything and everything that keeps your weight too high. Be patient, take one day at a time, don't beat yourself up for small hickups, use a good scale to measure your food, be honest. If you have a pattern of eating because of stress, emotions, etc., do figure out why that is, why you choose food instead of exercise or such, and do your best to change your habit. Read the forums, be active, don't blame anyone but yourself. And do ignore people, who might have crap to say to you; they have problems and issues of inappropriate behaviour, not you.
  • Roaringgael
    Roaringgael Posts: 339 Member
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    Glad you are back
    keep having a go.
    Do what others above have suggested.
    :laugh:
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    This is my 4th time back and I want it to be my last!

    Look at why it DIDNT work last time and don't do that...
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    Create a plan that looks the way you'd like the rest of your life to look. Don't try to change everything at once. Just make one or two small changes at a time and make them habits.

    Personally I'm a fan of moderate deficit, accurate logging and moderation with regular exercise that I enjoy. If I created a plan with super low calories, no baked goods/ice cream, and body weight exercise 6 days per week I'd burn out in no time. So I do a higher calorie goal, some treats, lifting weights and walking.
  • sabified
    sabified Posts: 1,051 Member
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    All great advice above me!

    Especially making small changes at a time. For example: First goal to get enough water in, second to start eating more fruits/veggies, third work in exercise... start adding the good and you'll see yourself want to drop the bad to make room for them.. and once you build enough good habits, spending the time weighing and measuring your food and going to the gym won't seem so hard, because you're already doing all these other things so why not those as well??

    Good luck with it all!
  • RllyGudTweetr
    RllyGudTweetr Posts: 2,019 Member
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    hAF452754

    Step 1: Do something today that you can count as a success toward 'sticking with this.'
    Step 2: Repeat Step 1 tomorrow, possibly with a different 'something.'
  • cindyhoney2
    cindyhoney2 Posts: 603 Member
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    :)
    Best of luck to you!
  • epadmeister
    epadmeister Posts: 102 Member
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    "How do I stick with this?!"

    By not doubting yourself in the first place,beautiful lady! You are a strong kick *kitten* woman.:smokin:

    Kick *kitten* one day at a time. Repeat for the rest of your life.:drinker:

    Look back in a few months and be like "WOAH. I stuck with this and now I kick *kitten*!":bigsmile:
  • thegreatcanook
    thegreatcanook Posts: 2,419 Member
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    Surround yourself with people who have succeeded, be sure you are doing it for the right reasons, set mini goals and commit to a lifestyle change! Add me and I'll cheer you on!
  • higgins8283801
    higgins8283801 Posts: 844 Member
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    You have to really want it.
    I have started and stopped so many times. Never giving up take out or soda.

    This time, I was done.

    You also have to realize that it takes weeks to form a new habit so at first you may have to force yourself to do the exercise and to avoid temptations that have caused you failure. Make it a priority and eventually the new habit will replace all the old ones.
  • UmmSqueaky
    UmmSqueaky Posts: 715 Member
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    Log in every single day, even if you're not feeling it. Don't let anything get in the way of logging in, even if you're not eating the best.
  • 115s
    115s Posts: 344 Member
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    You have to make it a lifestyle change. Seeing as the diet is the first mistake.
    It's not your "fourth time", since we all meet bumps in the road. You're still continuing, is what.

    Perhaps if you went slower and steadily you'd be happier with your results. Even earth wasn't built in a day, according to the bible. That's a lot of mass to be moved around :P (And to be clear I'm not trying to bible thump, just use an example lolol).
  • matthawthorneisamyth
    matthawthorneisamyth Posts: 196 Member
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    CompetencyMatrix.jpg

    So, this is what's called the Competency Matrix. It's a good start on how human beings establish habits and behaviors. Take driving for instance. When you first start, you think about all the things you have to do: Check your mirrors, keep the wheel straight, keep your speed up (or in my case, down), use your turn signals, read the road signs, shift the transmission (just go with me here) etc.

    After a long enough time driving though, you don't even think about it anymore. You just do it. That is what's called unconscious competence and that is what we're aiming for with our diet and exercise goals. It's the point where a behavior becomes a part of your life and you don't even have to motivate yourself to do it. Sometimes it sucks to drive to the store, but you've got to if you want to eat, right? Same is true here.

    Now, the first two steps of this model are the difficult ones and in most people last ~30 days (if done daily) to form the habit. Once that habit is formed, it takes another few months to have it become a part of your identity. Right now you are at a point where you don't see yourself as a person who tracks their food or who exercises. Your goal should be to imagine yourself as a healthy and fit person. Take a moment to think about it. Really think about it. What does a fit and healthy person do? What do they look like? How do they act, and behave? What foods do they eat? What are their days structured like?

    Do you have a picture in your mind?

    Okay, we're ready for the first step. Let's set some goals. Now your goals can be whatever you want them to be. Do you want to log your food every meal for a week or do you want to focus on measuring every meal for a single day? Start small. I know this sounds like hokey Tony Robbins shirt, but just humor me and write down the smallest thing you can do today to affect your overall outcome.

    No go do it. Once you achieve that goal, then set a bigger goal. Tracking for a day becomes tracking for two days, then three days, then a week, then two weeks, then a month. Then two months. Then congratulations, you've moved from unconscious incompetence into conscious competence. The next step is just to keep repeating the process with larger and larger goals. Change them if you need to. One week your goal may be to track everything and one week your goal may be to do ten pushups. One week your goal may be to eliminate processed foods from your diet.

    Your goals should be challenging but attainable and you should write them down. Get a little notebook and write them in it. Then when you achieve them, cross them off. Keep the book so you can see how far you've come. I know this seems stupid, but it works and it does wonders for your self-image. If you know you're capable of setting and achieving difficult goals, you'll find benefit not only when it comes to your body, but also to your personal life.

    And if you fail at a goal, don't get discouraged. Be patient and forgiving with yourself and stay the course. They're YOUR goals. No one is pushing them on you. You set them yourself. You can change them at any time and for any reason. The important thing is that you have them and that you're working toward something that is important to you.

    Before you know it, you'll be at the last square of the competency model and you'll have started to turn into the person you imagined at the beginning of this exercise.

    I hope that helps. Be well.
  • Fsunami
    Fsunami Posts: 241 Member
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    This is my 4th time back and I want it to be my last!

    Hi

    Then make sure it is...

    The fact you are reaching out and being honest about your struggle is a sign of grwoth and progress. Take comfort in that.
    The difference between MFP and everything else? If you adopt the mindset that its a lifestyle change & not a diet, the rest will fall into place.

    The past is done. The future will be here soon enough. Try and focus on today & today only. Its all we have to work with.

    3 months ago, I weighed 312 pounds. I woulda been dead in 5 years if I hadn't made this commitment. All signs were pointing that way.

    Just a few things the MFP tribe and common sense has taught me:

    1) This is a thing you DO, not a definition of who you ARE. Just like laundry. Take the emotion out of it wherever possible. I cannot stress this enough.

    2) My approach? This is a lifestyle change, not a diet. So there is no finite number of days that I am trying to get to. I will be logging in and logging food for the rest of my life, because:

    a) This program works
    b) I don't want to die young and I was headed that direction

    3) Try to remember - We are the results of the choices we make every day, whether those choices are good or bad. Make as many good choices as you can, and the ship will stay steady. At the end of the day, we are the man in the mirror. We are accountable to ourselves and no one else. We can help you with getting there, but the doing is up to you. Leave rationalizing at the door, and sontinue to be honest with yourself. Its the only path to long term success

    Cal tracking is considered a good choice (whether boring or not) because it tells you where you really are (just like your check register tells you your balance) - remember to be honest with yourself all the time. Ultimately, you will achieve that which you are seeking much sooner.

    Knowing that plus the support I get from my MFP buds make enough difference that Ive lost 35 in 105 days without doing anything stupid.

    If you will stay committed to this, your MFP tribe will commit to helping. Why? Because that's what we do. And we have ALL been there.

    3 months ago, walking was a chore. today, I walked 6 miles. And loved it

    You got this.. ...and we got YOUR back

    FR headed your way

    Fsunami
  • MassiveDelta
    MassiveDelta Posts: 3,311 Member
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    this sounds so easy.... Stop quitting. yo say you are quitting and coming back. why are you leaving?
  • AmyRhubarb
    AmyRhubarb Posts: 6,890 Member
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    This is my 4th time back and I want it to be my last!
    Remember this feeling of how bad it SUCKS to be starting again! it's a good motivator.

    And as others have said, look at it long term, as lifestyle change, which means you need to set goals and learn ways of eating and exercising that you can stick to for life/ A reasonable calorie deficit that isn't so restrictive and difficult to stick to, yet still allows for weight loss, and exercise that you enjoy, and that you can make time for without it interfering with school/work/family.

    And part of it is mindset - resolve that this is for good this time, no going back, no starting over. Don't beat yourself up if you miss a workout, or have a day over cals a bit - life happens, and it will continue to happen, so learn to roll with it. Just pick back up the next day. This is what you do now, just like brushing your teeth, loading the dishwasher - eating right and exercise is part of what you do.

    You can do it! :bigsmile:
  • daydreams_of_pretty
    daydreams_of_pretty Posts: 506 Member
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    I think that one thing that makes it easier to stick with is to stop building it up in your mind as some huge ordeal that you have to endure temporarily until you get to happy freedom funland. Unfortunately, there is no happy freedom funland (I was bummed, too). I used to think that I had to be super restrictive and do crazy workouts, but sustainability comes from figuring out what foods work for you for that day and what kinds of activity you can do even when you don't really have time or whatever special circumstances you normally rely on. For example, if you're pressed to get in your regular workout, you can listen to some music and walk back and forth down the hallway in your house. It is optimal? No. Does it burn calories and beat sitting around on the couch? Yep. It really is a lifestyle change, and you can adapt your efforts to whatever is going on in your life at the time. If you want to indulge at the holidays, add in more activity (dancing! lol). When you go on vacation, choose activities that keep your body active (swimming, walking around the museum, beach volleyball, etc). Start with small changes (track your food and start walking) and then move to the bigger changes.
  • desireeak
    desireeak Posts: 4 Member
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    For me, it was reminding myself that any progress is STILL progress. I once lost 8 lbs. in 4 weeks then on week 5 didn't lose a thing and got so frustrated I almost quit entirely. I made myself really LOOK at the progress I had made and realized that the 8 lbs. from before was an incredible thing and that I should be proud of it, not take it for granted. Now, even if I gain a pound one week, I still look back at how far I've come and smile. Every pound you loose is a WIN, don't ever forget that!!