Wow.....
dani85pex
Posts: 18
you really do begin to see how ppl react to you, judge you and/or make fun of you when you're making better decisions for yourself. I had this experience literally five minutes ago.
On my a.m. break and decided to have a snack. Nothing exquisite just a granny smith apple. Now to each their own on eating these things because generally I do not but I ate all the fiji apples:embarassed: ....so to make them more delectable I decided, hey I'll cut them up, heat them up, add some splenda(I don't like the sour), and a dot of "I can't believe it's not butter and "voila"...now I'm in the kitchen with 2 co-workers, one of which I've grown to really care about and respect. But boy, the little comments she was making???...first she noticed I was cutting my apple, no big deal. But then when I tell her I'm heating it up it was like "huh". Then I said I'm going to add some splenda, kind of a make shift apple pie without the crust. Her face turns all up and she laughs in a condenscending kind of way and says "well for all of that, you should have just gotten and actually ate a piece of pie"....at this point the other coworker was actually talking about apple pie but seemed interested in my approach.
I don't know why, but I felt some type of way, be it pissed off, because I figured hey, I'm actually doing something better for myself and how dare you make fun? So I'm not the type to hold my tongue, but very polite and well mannered. So I told her "look, I'm doing better and rather than eat a piece of pie, or cake, or cookie, this is a better approach for me, so please don't make fun, just don't"...ok so there may have been some slight attitude in there but that's me. I've seen so many ppl express on these boards how when it's actually time to show ppl how they've changed they react negatively or even be so ignorant to the fact they are being jerks make sly statements. I say, in that moment you stick up for yourself, and show them.
This is a coworker who I've shared with details about my weight gain and in turn she in fact has shared her story and has even said she, herself wants to be healthier. So what, now that I'm doing it and not in the way you would, it's ok to make such statements and laugh I mean really laugh at what I'm doing?....I've lost 5lbs in a week. Nuff said.
On my a.m. break and decided to have a snack. Nothing exquisite just a granny smith apple. Now to each their own on eating these things because generally I do not but I ate all the fiji apples:embarassed: ....so to make them more delectable I decided, hey I'll cut them up, heat them up, add some splenda(I don't like the sour), and a dot of "I can't believe it's not butter and "voila"...now I'm in the kitchen with 2 co-workers, one of which I've grown to really care about and respect. But boy, the little comments she was making???...first she noticed I was cutting my apple, no big deal. But then when I tell her I'm heating it up it was like "huh". Then I said I'm going to add some splenda, kind of a make shift apple pie without the crust. Her face turns all up and she laughs in a condenscending kind of way and says "well for all of that, you should have just gotten and actually ate a piece of pie"....at this point the other coworker was actually talking about apple pie but seemed interested in my approach.
I don't know why, but I felt some type of way, be it pissed off, because I figured hey, I'm actually doing something better for myself and how dare you make fun? So I'm not the type to hold my tongue, but very polite and well mannered. So I told her "look, I'm doing better and rather than eat a piece of pie, or cake, or cookie, this is a better approach for me, so please don't make fun, just don't"...ok so there may have been some slight attitude in there but that's me. I've seen so many ppl express on these boards how when it's actually time to show ppl how they've changed they react negatively or even be so ignorant to the fact they are being jerks make sly statements. I say, in that moment you stick up for yourself, and show them.
This is a coworker who I've shared with details about my weight gain and in turn she in fact has shared her story and has even said she, herself wants to be healthier. So what, now that I'm doing it and not in the way you would, it's ok to make such statements and laugh I mean really laugh at what I'm doing?....I've lost 5lbs in a week. Nuff said.
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I wasn't there to hear her laugh but it sounds like you're being a little over sensitive. I would like to believe that the statement "she was laughing with you not at you" applies here. While your dessert option makes great sense and is appealing to me I can also see someone saying "Why don't you just get some pie?" If I was you I would of retorted something like "because pie is like 500 calories were is what I'm making is only 100. Just making better choices for myself." Then I would of just left it at that.0
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Yeah, I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. I can understand that, every time I eat something healthy my sister-in-law gets all like "oh good for you!!" ... like every time I do something healthy... which is several times a day. yeah thanks for the comments but I know she's being kind of snide about it.. like, are you always going to comment on everything I do? Because I exercise everyday and eat healthy everyday... the comments are getting old, I just say "well, yeah, I always eat healthy..." or "yeah... I go to the gym everyday..." hopefully she'll realize that I don't need her approval for the way I'm living my life and I don't really want to hear her opinions on what I ought to do because let's face it now I'm healthier than her so... work on yourselves people. Lol. I'll do me.0
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Done that and been there. You can try sprinkling a little cinnamon on it also. Sounds like it might be also be a case of the green monster (jealousness) since you have been so successful. Just stick with you are doing and respond that she shouldn't knock it until she tries it. There are many easy options which are delicious without the trouble and the calories of the alternatives.0
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Here's the deal....you just keep doing what you are doing. Years ago I went thru the same thing. I was on a journey where I lost 30 pounds. I never said anything...never made an issue and never explained myself. I let the comments just roll over me.
About a year later, when my weight loss and my lifestyle changes were obvious, I looked around the break table.
The donuts and pastries and pizza and crap were replaced by yogurt, oatmeal salad and such. Mind you, this is what folks were carrying to lunch.
People may make comments, but they are really watching you so they can do it themselves.
:bigsmile:0 -
People may make comments, but they are really watching you so they can do it themselves.
:bigsmile:
EXACTLY!! One of my co-workers saw me working hard and she took it upon herself to lose weight and now she's doing way better than me!! Lol. It's something we bond over and talk about often and share tips. My family members ask me questions now on how to get healthier, there are always those though that want to bring you back down. Just do your thing and the only comments that matter are the positive ones.
That's friendship and love, lifting each other up. 0 -
Are you good friends with her husband?0
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Some people just don't get it. Ignore it if you can and try not to take it personal.
They see you doing that with the apple and it reminds them that they could be working on their weight maybe but aren't. Just a thought.
I know my boss will sometimes choose to sit at my desk to eat candy and makes sure to tell me how goooood it is just to pull my chain lol. I'll laugh it off, take deep breaths and tell him I'm trying to enjoy it through osmosis. Eventually the conversation shifts to him mentioning he shouldn't be eating the chocolate because he's so fat.0 -
I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. You keep doing what you're doing, teach by example and keep up the good work!0
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You can try sprinkling a little cinnamon on it also.
great idea! :drinker:0 -
You are going to get a lot of stupid comments/unsolicited advice in the coming weeks and months. It seems you just started, since you said you lost 5 lbs in a week and your ticker reflects only 5 lbs... I think you are being a little over sensitive, next time just say something like "this has a heck of a lot less calories than pie" and keep it moving.0
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I wasn't there to hear her laugh but it sounds like you're being a little over sensitive. I would like to believe that the statement "she was laughing with you not at you" applies here. While your dessert option makes great sense and is appealing to me I can also see someone saying "Why don't you just get some pie?" If I was you I would of retorted something like "because pie is like 500 calories were is what I'm making is only 100. Just making better choices for myself." Then I would of just left it at that.
Thanks for the suggestion, but unfortunately in typing I cannot convey that my feelings were not hurt, I was more pissed than anything. And like you said you did not hear the laugh. If it were on its on, maybe I could be like ok let's laugh together. But combined with the statement is what made it more or less offensive a little. Maybe I am being a little too sensitive, but again it was a rant of my feelings about it and just to state no matter what I am doing this for me. Just wanted to know if others noticed the same in their journeys. I'm a big girl, no pun intended.0 -
Are you good friends with her husband?
:laugh:0 -
Here's the deal....you just keep doing what you are doing. Years ago I went thru the same thing. I was on a journey where I lost 30 pounds. I never said anything...never made an issue and never explained myself. I let the comments just roll over me.
About a year later, when my weight loss and my lifestyle changes were obvious, I looked around the break table.
The donuts and pastries and pizza and crap were replaced by yogurt, oatmeal salad and such. Mind you, this is what folks were carrying to lunch.
People may make comments, but they are really watching you so they can do it themselves.
:bigsmile:
Now this is what I'm talking about! I haven't said anything to anyone at work either because it's not a fad. Way to be an inspiration to them without even trying ..and I couldn't agree more with your last statement. 0 -
you really do begin to see how ppl react to you, judge you and/or make fun of you when you're making better decisions for yourself. I had this experience literally five minutes ago.
On my a.m. break and decided to have a snack. Nothing exquisite just a granny smith apple. Now to each their own on eating these things because generally I do not but I ate all the fiji apples:embarassed: ....so to make them more delectable I decided, hey I'll cut them up, heat them up, add some splenda(I don't like the sour), and a dot of "I can't believe it's not butter and "voila"...now I'm in the kitchen with 2 co-workers, one of which I've grown to really care about and respect. But boy, the little comments she was making???...first she noticed I was cutting my apple, no big deal. But then when I tell her I'm heating it up it was like "huh". Then I said I'm going to add some splenda, kind of a make shift apple pie without the crust. Her face turns all up and she laughs in a condenscending kind of way and says "well for all of that, you should have just gotten and actually ate a piece of pie"....at this point the other coworker was actually talking about apple pie but seemed interested in my approach.
I don't know why, but I felt some type of way, be it pissed off, because I figured hey, I'm actually doing something better for myself and how dare you make fun? So I'm not the type to hold my tongue, but very polite and well mannered. So I told her "look, I'm doing better and rather than eat a piece of pie, or cake, or cookie, this is a better approach for me, so please don't make fun, just don't"...ok so there may have been some slight attitude in there but that's me. I've seen so many ppl express on these boards how when it's actually time to show ppl how they've changed they react negatively or even be so ignorant to the fact they are being jerks make sly statements. I say, in that moment you stick up for yourself, and show them.
This is a coworker who I've shared with details about my weight gain and in turn she in fact has shared her story and has even said she, herself wants to be healthier. So what, now that I'm doing it and not in the way you would, it's ok to make such statements and laugh I mean really laugh at what I'm doing?....I've lost 5lbs in a week. Nuff said.
once you are really in this journey for the long haul, you will begin to find out who true friends are and who aren't. They all want to see you do great, but never better than them. There will always be some kind of negative *kitten* who tries to bring you down. You don't need them in your life. I always have to tell myself, "I don't need that person, all I need is peanut butter." and then I eat peanut butter and life is good!0 -
Dani, now imagine you're a guy ... doing the same thing ... getting ribbed by all the other guys (especially the one with the big beer belly). In other 40 weeks, I'll be 40-75 pounds lighter. He'll just be 40 weeks older.
(Really, they don't mean anything by it. It stings but it's not their intent.)0 -
You are going to get a lot of stupid comments/unsolicited advice in the coming weeks and months. It seems you just started, since you said you lost 5 lbs in a week and your ticker reflects only 5 lbs... I think you are being a little over sensitive, next time just say something like "this has a heck of a lot less calories than pie" and keep it moving.
That's ok it's a free country. I myself was ranting about how I felt. Again I was pissed not in my feelings. I didn't type everything that was said just a summary. But hey like I replied maybe a little sensitive, to each their own. I just wanted to know how others noticed changes in ppl around them.
I have not just started my weight loss journey, just being more active in utilizing MFP as a tool to help keep me be accountable and this site and community to help me along the way.0 -
once you are really in this journey for the long haul, you will begin to find out who true friends are and who aren't. They all want to see you do great, but never better than them. There will always be some kind of negative *kitten* who tries to bring you down. You don't need them in your life. I always have to tell myself, "I don't need that person, all I need is peanut butter." and then I eat peanut butter and life is good!
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I LOOOOOOOVE PEANUT BUTTER:drinker:0 -
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I LOOOOOOOVE PEANUT BUTTER:drinker:
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who wouldn't love peanut butter. my brother once told me that peanut butter is bad for you. well he also doesn't have the same body type AT ALL as I do. I called him many names and ate peanut butter in his face. most people giving out advice don't realize that a person they are training or talking to will not lose weight the same as them. so don't listen to the haters. you got this!!!!0 -
I LOOOOOOOVE PEANUT BUTTER:drinker:
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who wouldn't love peanut butter. my brother once told me that peanut butter is bad for you. well he also doesn't have the same body type AT ALL as I do. I called him many names and ate peanut butter in his face. most people giving out advice don't realize that a person they are training or talking to will not lose weight the same as them. so don't listen to the haters. you got this!!!!
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HAHAHAHA...you get it. In the end I guess I was not expecting her to be that way but more supportive, but it's not like I NEED her to do it! I NEED me. *CHEERS*..with water to apples and peanut butter!0 -
People are funny. ha ha! Some are jealous. some think YOU'RE making them feel bad by being good. some are just twitchy, and get annoyed at anything. You do you, you can't stop them from being idiots. Lord, how I wish we could.
this may not have been my best day to discuss nutrition :bigsmile: Friend me!0 -
Dani, now imagine you're a guy ... doing the same thing ... getting ribbed by all the other guys (especially the one with the big beer belly). In other 40 weeks, I'll be 40-75 pounds lighter. He'll just be 40 weeks older.
(Really, they don't mean anything by it. It stings but it's not their intent.)
Ok a new perspective on things. I really appreciate this....seeeee, men get it too! Well, bravo to you sir for your success thus far and
to those guys getting old!:laugh: 0 -
Yeah that sounds crappy. I had something similar happen once when a friend of mine introduced me to someone and said, "She lost so much weight... and she still eats pizza and ice cream!" Now, IN CONTEXT I told my friend that I occasionally still ate stuff like that, but tried to eat healthy most of the time. Her friend looked at me and said with a really snobby, "Yeah, we'll I'd rather be worrying about eating healthy, not losing weight." Some people are all or nothing when it comes to healthy food and fitness and you know, if you can be like that more power to you. Some of us like a little sweetener on our fruit.... or a little pizza once in a while. Give me a break!0
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My family is totally unsupportive of me, my family has always been big, unhealthy, died young, and can hardy walk at times. I never want to be that way, I want to live a long healthy life, and try my best to show and represent that to my neices and nephews, I can only hope that one day they will follow in my footsteps.0
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HAHAHAHA...you get it. In the end I guess I was not expecting her to be that way but more supportive, but it's not like I NEED her to do it! I NEED me. *CHEERS*..with water to apples and peanut butter!
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hell yes...cheers to us and mass amounts of pb!!0 -
I think your comment was spot on. I'd be irritated too. I'm sure your snack was delicious too.0
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For the record, I am now going to try exactly what you did with the apple because it sounds AMAZING and is a much better option than eating the *actual* Dutch apple pie that is sitting in my fridge at home because we didn't end up going to the friend's house for whom made it in the first place.
As far as the laugh and the comment, I understand. My husband likes to say that nothing is "over-sensitive" if it matters to you. If it affected your emotions, that is how you feel, period. That being said, sometimes you have to just let things roll off your back like water off a duck (did you know that ducks have waterproof feathers? I always wondered what that expression meant until I looked it up.) And then come let it out here!
Also consider, maybe someone said this already, but seeing you make healthier choices might make her feel guilty/ashamed of not making those kind of choices for herself and that can bring out some negativity in people. Take pride in the fact that you might be inspiring and helping her, even if she won't admit it at first.
edited for a typo0 -
thanks for the great idea - we have apples, butter, cinnamon, sugar at work - but i never thought of putting them together
good luck with your weight loss0 -
I just spit coffee on my keyboard. Good one :laugh:0
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Directly, immediately and non-aggressively is always the best way to handle theses comments IMO.
Last time a co-worker made a comment about my lunch I responded in a very conversational voice with; "do you make a habit of offering un-solicited advice to people?". I never heard a peep out of her after that, nor anyone else who was within ear shot at the time.
Most people are so busy being caught up in how your food choices affect how they feel about their food choices they don't even realize what they are doing or how it can make someone else feel.0 -
Don't let comments bother you. Seriously. There is nothing to be gained by being oversensitive. How about not getting on the defensive & just smile. Don't say a word. Enjoy your food.
People have been commenting on my food that I take to work for a long, long time. Doesn't bother me at all. I know what I am doing & why. I don't discuss those things much; actions speak louder.
First they are curious, then they say it looks/smells good but it is too much trouble or they just couldn't do it. They admit they should but don't. I never talk about the food. You lose enough weight & look so much better, they have to respect that even if they don't let on that they do.0
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