Strength Training - confused and overwhelmed

On Monday I reached my goal weight, 135 lbs, and now I am skinny-fat. Sigh. People keep telling me that I look great, and I do look much better, but I still have all of this fat around my midsection. At least I knew it would be this way; even when I was 18 and barely 110 lbs I had a flabby tummy.

I have this vague idea that the answer is "strength training," but the more I read about it, the more I feel confused and overwhelmed. Losing weight was easy: just eat less and move more. But everything I read about strength training and trying to get a lower bodyfat percentage (that's what I want - right??) is all about how difficult it is, how it takes years, how it's hard to measure the results -- and everybody seems to have a different idea of what exactly you need to do.

I bought the book Body By You, and I really wanted to do it. But you're supposed to do each exercise until you can do it perfectly ("perfect form") and then move onto the next one. That sounded simple until I tried it, and realized that I had no idea what "perfect form" would look like, and couldn't even tell whether what I was doing was the same as the pictures in the book. (Getting a personal trainer to teach me how to do the exercises would kind of defeat the whole point of getting that book, which was to exercise at home.)

My husband got DDP Yoga for his birthday, and wants to do that with me, or he offered to get another kettlebell and do that. I don't know if either is a good option. I just read that somehow doing cardio is bad if you want to get toned?? I don't understand why or how that would be, but I'm pretty sure both of those involve cardio. We also have one of those exercise machine things in the garage, the resistance-training kind, but I have no idea if that's any good either. I just want to figure out what to do to lose fat without necessarily losing more weight, and without going to a gym.

Replies

  • Cherimoose
    Cherimoose Posts: 5,208 Member
    There are tons of form videos on Youtube. Just search for "How to _____". Taking video of yourself doing the exercises may help. If you're still unsure, post the vid here. If you're unsure how to do that, ask any teenager. :bigsmile:

    Ignore what you heard about avoiding cardio. If you're doing strength training and eating enough, cardio is fine.
  • ironangel250
    ironangel250 Posts: 24 Member
    Weight training is awesome! You can find a lot of info on how to perform exercises online such as exrx.com, YouTube, bodybuilding.com also has some great training program ideas to get you started on the right path.
  • michelleepotter
    michelleepotter Posts: 800 Member
    There are tons of form videos on Youtube. Just search for "How to _____". Taking video of yourself doing the exercises may help. If you're still unsure, post the vid here. If you're unsure how to do that, ask any teenager. :bigsmile:

    Ignore what you heard about avoiding cardio. If you're doing strength training and eating enough, cardio is fine.

    So, if cardio isn't bad, then does that mean doing DDP Yoga or a kettlebell workout with my husband would accomplish what I want? And do I need to eat at a surplus, or is maintenance good enough?
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    On Monday I reached my goal weight, 135 lbs, and now I am skinny-fat. Sigh. People keep telling me that I look great, and I do look much better, but I still have all of this fat around my midsection. At least I knew it would be this way; even when I was 18 and barely 110 lbs I had a flabby tummy.

    I have this vague idea that the answer is "strength training," but the more I read about it, the more I feel confused and overwhelmed. Losing weight was easy: just eat less and move more. But everything I read about strength training and trying to get a lower bodyfat percentage (that's what I want - right??) is all about how difficult it is, how it takes years, how it's hard to measure the results -- and everybody seems to have a different idea of what exactly you need to do.

    I bought the book Body By You, and I really wanted to do it. But you're supposed to do each exercise until you can do it perfectly ("perfect form") and then move onto the next one. That sounded simple until I tried it, and realized that I had no idea what "perfect form" would look like, and couldn't even tell whether what I was doing was the same as the pictures in the book. (Getting a personal trainer to teach me how to do the exercises would kind of defeat the whole point of getting that book, which was to exercise at home.)

    My husband got DDP Yoga for his birthday, and wants to do that with me, or he offered to get another kettlebell and do that. I don't know if either is a good option. I just read that somehow doing cardio is bad if you want to get toned?? I don't understand why or how that would be, but I'm pretty sure both of those involve cardio. We also have one of those exercise machine things in the garage, the resistance-training kind, but I have no idea if that's any good either. I just want to figure out what to do to lose fat without necessarily losing more weight, and without going to a gym.

    It's not that doing cardio is bad for getting toned...it's that doing nothing but cardio is bad for getting toned...because cardio doesn't build muscle...being "toned" requires muscle...to have muscle, one must train their muscles...one trains their muscle by picking up heavy things and putting them down.

    If you don't want to go to the gym I would recommend body weight workouts and maybe some band work. You will need patience...body recomp work is detail work...think of it as taking your car in to get a quick wash and a vacuum vs. getting detailed. It takes a **** ton longer to get detailed...that's what body re-comp is. Losing weight is like taking your car in to get a quick wash....recomp is getting detailed...it takes time.

    Really, you should just do it...focus on being a healthier and fitter you...and over time, everything else kind of takes care of itself. When fitness becomes a part of your life and just something you do, then it really doesn't matter if it takes a couple weeks, a few months, or years...you just do regardless because it is good for your overall health and well being...looking more awesome is just a fantastic bi-product.

    Eat to maintenance...do some body weight work...do some yoga...do a little cardio...be a healthier and fitter you and everything else falls into place.
  • BigGuy47
    BigGuy47 Posts: 1,768 Member
    I bought the book Body By You, and I really wanted to do it. But you're supposed to do each exercise until you can do it perfectly ("perfect form") and then move onto the next one. That sounded simple until I tried it, and realized that I had no idea what "perfect form" would look like, and couldn't even tell whether what I was doing was the same as the pictures in the book.
    Sometimes it's helpful to have someone else check your form. It doesn't have to be a personal trainer. For example if you're doing a plank ask you husband if it looks like your back is straight (not sagging at the waist or butt too high). You'll start to get a feel for proper form.

    There's also a bunch of videos on Mark Lauren's Youtube channel that demonstrate proper form.

    https://www.youtube.com/user/MarkLauren2
  • I have my husband check my form, before it was a trainer. It was worth paying for it even though it was only a month. I don't think I would figure out form if I didn't have someone checking me.
  • michelleepotter
    michelleepotter Posts: 800 Member
    It's not that doing cardio is bad for getting toned...it's that doing nothing but cardio is bad for getting toned...because cardio doesn't build muscle...being "toned" requires muscle...to have muscle, one must train their muscles...one trains their muscle by picking up heavy things and putting them down.
    Thank you. I got confused because I read a thread where a guy was lifting weights some days, and running other days, and he was told that he needed to stop running. I guess either I misunderstood, or it was bullsh*t advice.
    If you don't want to go to the gym I would recommend body weight workouts and maybe some band work. You will need patience...body recomp work is detail work...think of it as taking your car in to get a quick wash and a vacuum vs. getting detailed. It takes a **** ton longer to get detailed...that's what body re-comp is. Losing weight is like taking your car in to get a quick wash....recomp is getting detailed...it takes time.

    Really, you should just do it...focus on being a healthier and fitter you...and over time, everything else kind of takes care of itself. When fitness becomes a part of your life and just something you do, then it really doesn't matter if it takes a couple weeks, a few months, or years...you just do regardless because it is good for your overall health and well being...looking more awesome is just a fantastic bi-product.

    I'm ok with it taking as long as it takes, and the main goal really *is* health. I just realized that what I'm afraid of is doing something for months, or a year, and then realizing that whatever I was doing wasn't working. Like I've heard people say that someone's workout wasn't accomplishing anything, they were just spinning their wheels. With weight loss, it's easy to measure the change, even if it's slow, and you can *know* that you're moving in the right direction.
    Eat to maintenance...do some body weight work...do some yoga...do a little cardio...be a healthier and fitter you and everything else falls into place.

    Sounds like you, and others, are suggesting giving BBY another try.
  • colors_fade
    colors_fade Posts: 464 Member
    Stronglifts 5x5. I'll tout this one until I'm dead. It's perfect for beginners to intermediate.

    You want to build muscle to get that "toned" look you are after.

    You'll need to eat at least maintenance or slightly above. Google "body re-composition" for some ideas on food cycles and such.

    The only way to build strength is to lift heavy things. High weight, low reps. StrongLifts is a great starter program because it is a progressive load program: you will start light and work your way up each week until you are lifting heavy stuff. By the 12th week you should be into a regular heavy lifting groove. From that point on, it's up to you where you go. Your diet will still determine a lot of your outcome.

    For form - Mehdi (StrongLifts creator) has lots of videos on correct form. And there are countless other YouTube videos. If you elect to go to a gym, most of the time the staff has no problem taking a look at your form and making sure you're doing it right. I ask my gym guys when I think I need a form check. They're happy to do it.

    As for fat in stubborn places: that's a body fat issue. This is why weight loss is sort of the wrong approach. The scale doesn't really tell the truth. Yes, you have lost weight - great job! But for body recomp, the thing that matters is body fat percentage. You can build all the muscle in the world, but that stubborn fat won't go away until you cut.

    I encourage you to go to a gym, lift heavy (but to start, lift light, learn the form, and thus avoid DOMS). Build yourself up over time, take it slow, enjoy the process of lifting and watching yourself become stronger. When you are at a good place, go on a cutting cycle to remove body fat. It's a journey, a process. Enjoy it.
  • michelleepotter
    michelleepotter Posts: 800 Member
    I encourage you to go to a gym, lift heavy (but to start, lift light, learn the form, and thus avoid DOMS). Build yourself up over time, take it slow, enjoy the process of lifting and watching yourself become stronger. When you are at a good place, go on a cutting cycle to remove body fat. It's a journey, a process. Enjoy it.

    Sigh. This is what I would prefer to do, as I've heard so many good things about lifting heavy, and it seems like the simplest and most straightforward method. Unfortunately, going to the gym is a logistical impossibility for me. I have 8 kids, 7 of whom are homeschooled, and the youngest is 8 months old. There's just no way I can leave them for almost 2 hours a day (including the drive), three times a week. (I obviously couldn't go during school time, and if I go after school the older kids would be stuck at home, babysitting, instead of out with their friends. That's just not fair to them.) What I can do is find an hour or so to exercise at home, while the baby is napping and the other kids are doing their own thing. Maybe one day I can buy weights. In the meantime, I'm going to give what I have another shot.

    Thanks for the encouragement, everyone!
  • jenifr818
    jenifr818 Posts: 805 Member
    I encourage you to go to a gym, lift heavy (but to start, lift light, learn the form, and thus avoid DOMS). Build yourself up over time, take it slow, enjoy the process of lifting and watching yourself become stronger. When you are at a good place, go on a cutting cycle to remove body fat. It's a journey, a process. Enjoy it.

    Sigh. This is what I would prefer to do, as I've heard so many good things about lifting heavy, and it seems like the simplest and most straightforward method. Unfortunately, going to the gym is a logistical impossibility for me. I have 8 kids, 7 of whom are homeschooled, and the youngest is 8 months old. There's just no way I can leave them for almost 2 hours a day (including the drive), three times a week. (I obviously couldn't go during school time, and if I go after school the older kids would be stuck at home, babysitting, instead of out with their friends. That's just not fair to them.) What I can do is find an hour or so to exercise at home, while the baby is napping and the other kids are doing their own thing. Maybe one day I can buy weights. In the meantime, I'm going to give what I have another shot.

    Thanks for the encouragement, everyone!

    If you can get past the first couple of weeks of DDP Yoga (I found Diamond Dozen and Energy to be kinda boring after awhile), it gets quite challenging. If you can't get to the gym, give it a go. It's not your traditional "heavy lifting", but it will give you a workout, and the flexibility and strength you can gain is amazing. I don't bother with the diet plan he does, but the videos by themself are good.
  • CLM1227
    CLM1227 Posts: 61 Member
    Ace Fitness has a great website with some body weight exercises for strength training. They are a great start for at home work outs and show forms.
    http://www.acefitness.org/acefit/fitness-programs/

    The other thing I did when starting out on weights was going to the gym and doing the weight machines. They aren't as intimidating as free weights, most gyms will have a trainer willing to walk you through each machine your first time out the door, and they give you confidence to want to tackle the free weights.

    Also, I have rarely tracked results of weight training with body fat % and weight. Always with strength. In the 80s, there used to exist a fitness test. Since no one at the gym actually has any clue what I'm talking about anymore, I've devised my own from what I remember and what I know to be important, but every so often (no more than once a month), I can go through those exercises and see how I've improved. My fitness test is this:
    1) # Sit-ups in one minute
    2) Max Squat
    3) Max Bench Press

    Body Fat % and weight are tracked for my own personal aesthetics, but not for fitness level.

    Also, I track every lb, rep, and set I do when weight training. I use financial ledgers from Staples or Office Depot to track my weight workouts. As I progress, I can see my strength going up and it is very motivating.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    Thank you. I got confused because I read a thread where a guy was lifting weights some days, and running other days, and he was told that he needed to stop running. I guess either I misunderstood, or it was bullsh*t advice.

    It isn't necessarily BS advice...everything has to be taken into context. If someone is actually trying to bulk, cardio can be an inhibitor to those goals. Many bodybuilders will do very little cardio when they are a bulk in order to maximize muscle growth. They would want the bulk of the energy they are consuming (calories) to go towards building muscle...when you're doing a bunch of cardio, much of that energy simply goes towards replacing the energy that was burned up with whatever cardio event was performed leaving little left over for actual muscle development.

    Add to that, the more cardio you do (and the more active in general you are), the greater your calorie requirements. I for example, to maintain, need around 2800ish calories. To do a decent bulk I would need to eat around 3300 - 3500 calories per day. This could be difficult to sustain day in and day out...so if I really wanted to have an effective bulk I would likely cut back substantially, if not altogether on my cardio so that I could consume a more reasonable amount of calories day in and day out.

    Additionally, he was probably told to do cardio on off days to maximize lifting performance...the last thing you want to do is get underneath a loaded and heavy barbell when you're already tired from running a 10K or something.

    When you read this stuff you have to take everything into context...what are the goals of the poster, etc. It's not as black and whit as "do this, don't do that" or "this is good, and that is bad."
  • jhc7324
    jhc7324 Posts: 200 Member
    I encourage you to go to a gym, lift heavy (but to start, lift light, learn the form, and thus avoid DOMS). Build yourself up over time, take it slow, enjoy the process of lifting and watching yourself become stronger. When you are at a good place, go on a cutting cycle to remove body fat. It's a journey, a process. Enjoy it.

    Sigh. This is what I would prefer to do, as I've heard so many good things about lifting heavy, and it seems like the simplest and most straightforward method. Unfortunately, going to the gym is a logistical impossibility for me. I have 8 kids, 7 of whom are homeschooled, and the youngest is 8 months old. There's just no way I can leave them for almost 2 hours a day (including the drive), three times a week. (I obviously couldn't go during school time, and if I go after school the older kids would be stuck at home, babysitting, instead of out with their friends. That's just not fair to them.) What I can do is find an hour or so to exercise at home, while the baby is napping and the other kids are doing their own thing. Maybe one day I can buy weights. In the meantime, I'm going to give what I have another shot.

    Thanks for the encouragement, everyone!
    Also, check craigslist in your area. People are constantly selling lightly used free weight equipment. If you're patient and look frequently enough, you can find more than what you need and save a ton of money compared to buying it new. I've picked up 2x 300 lb olympic bar and plate sets, an adjustable olympic bench, plate tree and some dumbell handles for the olympic plates for $285.
  • colors_fade
    colors_fade Posts: 464 Member
    So going to a gym is out, but there are other options. You need to create an environment at home then.

    Bodyweight exercises are certainly an option, and should be included no matter what else you might do at home.

    My wife doesn't go to a gym, but teaches classes at the local high school, and she and her ladies use dumbbells. They've worked on acquiring quite the collection over the years. They have anything from 5 lb. weights to 45 lb. weights. The key, as always, is to lift heavy. If you can't go to a gym, try and get some gear yourself (Craigslist a great source). You never know when a squat rack or Olympic weight set, or a set of dumbbells is going to become available for a great price. So just keep checking all the time; keep an eye out.

    And in the meantime, figure out a bodyweight routine that will get you started using your muscles.