Can counting your calories be bad for you?

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Replies

  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    Hey everyone,


    I've already posted something like this on another thread, but it got swallowed up. So I thought I would post it as its own topic.

    I've been on and off MyFitnessPal for a few years with ups and downs in weight loss success (naturally). I'm really starting to notice how depressed I get when I count calories eaten/burned. When I use MyFitnessPal and Fitbit, I obsess over numbers. I always think about what I'm going to eat, when I'm going to eat it, what I need to do for exercise, and how much exercise I need to do. I can't go to local restaurants and I can't eat my mother-in-law's cooking because there's no available calorie information for me to enter into the app. I'm always doing math and looking up multiple sources of calorie information. I'm glued to my phone all the time. How many calories are in this? How many ounces is that? Is this the right serving size? Can I trust this unofficial source of restaurant calorie info? What's my TDEE? Should I go lower? Should I go higher? So many numbers...I just can't think about anything else. So when I get so overwhelmed and quit, I of course get depressed again because I quit and I haven't lost any weight. Then the emotional eating begins again.

    I know this has to do with a lot of different things, but I just can't do this anymore. Is strict calorie counting absolutely necessary? I feel like it is. But it ruins me. There's got to be a better way for people with this way of thinking. And I know that "changing your attitude" is super necessary, but that's way easier said than done and it's different for everyone.

    Help?

    After awhile I pretty much had a good general idea of the calories in most things and what a serving size of most things that I eat I simply used this tool to become more aware...it doesn't need to be, nor should it really be an obsession. I found it to be a tremendously useful tool for identifying problem areas in my diet as well as helping me to establish good and healthful habits that result in an outstanding nutritional profile and optimal health markers.

    I have taken what I learned over the course of about 9 months of logging into maintenance and have easily maintained my weight for 16 + months without logging. I just make good decisions the vast majority of the time with the understanding that, for example, if I eat some cake it isn't going to negate the 8 servings of vegetables I had during the day. I maintain an optimal nutritional profile and I rock my fitness...I'm most certainly not obsessed, but I am mindful of what I'm eating and what I'm doing. I could easily cut right now without logging by simply eliminating a part of my afternoon snack...I don't need to obsess about every little calorie.
  • SideSteel
    SideSteel Posts: 11,068 Member
    In my opinion, pretty much any method of dieting for weight loss will:

    a) Require you to eat in an energy deficit
    and
    b) Have characteristics that can be seen as pros/cons depending on the person.

    And for some people, counting calories just isn't a good fit.
  • bwogilvie
    bwogilvie Posts: 2,130 Member
    I know it's potentially problematic for me because my feelings are very close to fear sometimes...my mother-in-law could cook me the healthiest meal in the world, but unless I myself scrutinize every ingredient and break down the recipe into calories - I can't eat it. I can't. Estimating would gnaw at me. I could give a good guess and eat it, but then I'd feel scared/guilty and compensate by eating less calories than planned for the day JUST IN CASE. You know?

    That doesn't bother me. What I do when I eat at a friend's house or a restaurant is the following: I do my best to guesstimate calories, based on portion size, whether it's tastes rich, how full I feel afterwards, etc. I also eat slowly and try to avoid taking more food simply because it tastes good (though I'm not too strict - you have to indulge yourself from time to time!).

    Here's the thing: I could retroactively figure out how accurate my guesstimates have been by comparing my weight loss with the calories I logged (presuming I'm fairly accurate with food I make myself). If I eat out 5 times in 4 weeks, and my goal is to lose 0.5 lb./week, but I really only lost 1.75 lb. over those 4 weeks, then I have missed about 175 calories in each of those meals (on average). If the average meal out was logged at 800 calories, but was really 975, then I need to increase my guesstimates by about 20%. For this to work, you need to use an exponentially smoothed weighted average for your weight, to filter out daily fluctuations.

    However, I really don't do this, because the difference between 1.75 lb. and 2 lb. over 4 weeks, when I'm this close to my goal, isn't worth it. But if my goal were 1.5 lb./week, and I was losing only 0.5 lb./week, it's what I would do: figure out the "fudge factor" for my guesstimated calories, apply it, and go on my merry way.

    I'm just a few pounds from maintenance. Once I get there, I'm going to try ditching the calorie counting. But if I find myself slowly gaining again, like I did from 1998 to 2008, I'm going to return to calorie counting before I regain all the weight I have lost.
  • 1peanutandapumpkin
    1peanutandapumpkin Posts: 35 Member
    Another thing you could try to see if it works for you is to just log the food itself. No numbers, just food, for a week or so. If the scale moves in either direction you could look at what you've been eating and probably figure out the changes you need. I hate counting calories too. It seems like I think I'm doing well, but not really. For me it's a simple addition of exercise I think to keep things going.
  • StaciMarie1974
    StaciMarie1974 Posts: 4,138 Member
    I did something similar last month when I switched from 500/day to 250/day deficit. Had a week of not using the digital food scale. More to prove to myself I could be less OCD about it. The world didn't fall apart. :)
    Another thing you could try to see if it works for you is to just log the food itself. No numbers, just food, for a week or so. If the scale moves in either direction you could look at what you've been eating and probably figure out the changes you need. I hate counting calories too. It seems like I think I'm doing well, but not really. For me it's a simple addition of exercise I think to keep things going.
  • bidimus
    bidimus Posts: 95 Member
    Try turning it into a game. Learn to eyeball calorie counts. Take a guess before you log the food so you can start to put things into perspective. See if you're estimating high or low. I wouldn't be surprised if you could come withing about 100 calories pretty regularly. It sounds like you've been doing this for a while.

    Once you feel confident with estimating set a date to go eat in an environment where you won't be able to count the calories and log your estimates instead. I suspect they'll be close enough that your scale won't notice the discrepancy.

    If you're logging regularly it's ok to occasionally estimate for a meal if needed. It's more important to live life. After all, isn't that why we're all doing this? Each in our own way?
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
    Hey everyone,


    I've already posted something like this on another thread, but it got swallowed up. So I thought I would post it as its own topic.

    I've been on and off MyFitnessPal for a few years with ups and downs in weight loss success (naturally). I'm really starting to notice how depressed I get when I count calories eaten/burned. When I use MyFitnessPal and Fitbit, I obsess over numbers. I always think about what I'm going to eat, when I'm going to eat it, what I need to do for exercise, and how much exercise I need to do. I can't go to local restaurants and I can't eat my mother-in-law's cooking because there's no available calorie information for me to enter into the app. I'm always doing math and looking up multiple sources of calorie information. I'm glued to my phone all the time. How many calories are in this? How many ounces is that? Is this the right serving size? Can I trust this unofficial source of restaurant calorie info? What's my TDEE? Should I go lower? Should I go higher? So many numbers...I just can't think about anything else. So when I get so overwhelmed and quit, I of course get depressed again because I quit and I haven't lost any weight. Then the emotional eating begins again.

    I know this has to do with a lot of different things, but I just can't do this anymore. Is strict calorie counting absolutely necessary? I feel like it is. But it ruins me. There's got to be a better way for people with this way of thinking. And I know that "changing your attitude" is super necessary, but that's way easier said than done and it's different for everyone.

    Help?

    Yep, this is exactly why I don't calorie count. Can't stand having this kind of relationship with food. That's why I gave up calorie counting ages ago.

    Keep in mind that human beings have been losing weight without knowing what a calorie is for the vast majority of our existence.

    There are other ways to find a deficit. Have you looked into intermittent fasting? Intuitive eating? Taking a more natural, whole food approach to the majority of your diet works for some. Low carbing works for others. Vegan? Paleo?

    Just throwing out some options that others have used to lose without counting. I personally use a combo of IFing and intuitive eating to lose.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    Hey everyone,


    I've already posted something like this on another thread, but it got swallowed up. So I thought I would post it as its own topic.

    I've been on and off MyFitnessPal for a few years with ups and downs in weight loss success (naturally). I'm really starting to notice how depressed I get when I count calories eaten/burned. When I use MyFitnessPal and Fitbit, I obsess over numbers. I always think about what I'm going to eat, when I'm going to eat it, what I need to do for exercise, and how much exercise I need to do. I can't go to local restaurants and I can't eat my mother-in-law's cooking because there's no available calorie information for me to enter into the app. I'm always doing math and looking up multiple sources of calorie information. I'm glued to my phone all the time. How many calories are in this? How many ounces is that? Is this the right serving size? Can I trust this unofficial source of restaurant calorie info? What's my TDEE? Should I go lower? Should I go higher? So many numbers...I just can't think about anything else. So when I get so overwhelmed and quit, I of course get depressed again because I quit and I haven't lost any weight. Then the emotional eating begins again.

    I know this has to do with a lot of different things, but I just can't do this anymore. Is strict calorie counting absolutely necessary? I feel like it is. But it ruins me. There's got to be a better way for people with this way of thinking. And I know that "changing your attitude" is super necessary, but that's way easier said than done and it's different for everyone.

    Help?

    On the one hand, it can trigger people with ED. On the other hand, it allows you a certain precision that means you don't need to worry about an overly restrictive diet, and if you follow it for a year or so you may find it becomes very easy and that you intuitively eat differently than you do now. That said, it's not for everyone and you can create a calorie deficit in other ways. They are just generally more restrictive in terms of your diet and less precise in terms of consumption. This is one of those areas where I'd say find something that works for you.
  • baleighcakes
    baleighcakes Posts: 28 Member
    Sounds to me like you are looking for any reason under the sun not to change your eating habits. If you don't want to count calories don't. But, the purpose of this site and the way it works (and has worked for me) is based around counting calories. Would you prefer to count points like on weight watchers? Go for it...

    Good luck...

    Mark

    I understand that counting calories is the purpose of this site. I've just been reading about the dangers of it (in certain people) and I'm starting to realize that I just might be on that road to disordered eating. I'm glad it works for many people, but I'm really starting to think it's not for everyone.
  • baleighcakes
    baleighcakes Posts: 28 Member
    Thank you to all of you who have mentioned intuitive eating. That's where I want to be, I think. I really want to stop obsessing over the numbers but I'm super worried about gaining. I know doing the opposite of strict calorie counting and eating whatever whenever is the worst, especially with emotional eating. However, I also don't want to make myself explode by counting calories if that's not a good road for me. For me, I'm in this thing where it's like: either personally self-destruct over obsessing about numbers and have a bad relationship with food in terms of mental health OR not worry about it and have a bad relationship with food in terms of physical health.

    I understand that people here will probably take offense to what I'm saying, but I really don't mean for that to happen. I'm so glad counting calories has worked so well for so many people. I admire you guys a lot. I just don't want to be someone who sacrifices mental well-being over it because that's the kind of person I am. Does that make sense? Some can do this totally fine and have a great life. While others (like me, I'm starting to think) can do this and absolutely hate life and maybe end up developing disordered eating or worse.

    Call me a quitter or tell me I'm just making up excuses, that's fine. But I think we should all do what's best for us personally. I'll definitely look into intuitive eating more. I'm just scared, which is a problem, and that's why I posted this topic in the first place. I miss living life.
  • aylajane
    aylajane Posts: 979 Member
    One idea I used for awhile - get a bunch of thin rubber type or metal bracelets... If your daily calorie goal is, say 1600, get 16 of them. Put them all on your left arm. Whenever you eat during the day, "guess" how many calories you think you ate, as a multiple of 100, always rounding up if you know it is under a 100 mark. Then move the appropriate bands to your right arm. At the end of the day, you should have all the bands on the other arm. Since you are just basically rounding up most of the time, the times you are "off" and underestimated tend to balance out. No pesky numbers to deal with - just a quick guess - "is this snack 100 or 200 calories? Is this dinner 500 or 600?" look it up but dont stress over it - just overestimate when in doubt.

    It similar to WW points, but more visual and easier to keep up during the day. No one looking at you weighing your food or anything, but you can still keep an eye on total calorie count and keep up with your goal until you figure out what else might work for you.
  • klaff411
    klaff411 Posts: 169 Member
    I can't offer any advice. I've lost 106 lbs in 310 days here on MFP, logging every single day. I just find it's not that difficult of a thing to and it certainly hasn't been "bad" for me.

    There's also a great phone app.
  • rosebette
    rosebette Posts: 1,659 Member
    I think for some people counting calories can trigger some OCD or even ED. I notice from your ticker that you want to get to around 110 lb. and that you weigh in the 140s? How tall are you? How much weight do you really need to lose? Could making minor more intuitive changes to your diet help you more than calorie counting? I know people who have lost weight just by cutting out soda or reducing portions slightly. I use MFP myself, but one major change I made was the amount of carbs I ate for breakfast. I used to eat toast and cereal; now it's cereal with fruit, or eating 1/2 cup of rice instead of a whole one with my dinner, or if I have corn on the cob and rice or potatoes at a meal, eating only one starch.

    My daughter, who is around 5'10" and in the 170 range got down to around 150 following a program called the "I" diet at her workplace, which is about instinctive eating. It gives a meal plan with 3 meals and 2 healthy snacks. The foods are nutrient dense but lower calorie and incorporate "Treats" such as melting a small piece of dark chocolate into yogurt for a"sundae." She got the book for free, but she just follows the plans. Also, the nutritionist on staff said that if you are young, following a plan 5 days out of 7 will get good results (Those older folks like me aren't so lucky and have to stay on plan most of the time.)

    You have to be able to relax and enjoy life now and then. You are young and if you are not excessively overweight, you should be spending your energies in more productive ways rather than obsessively counting if it's taking all the joy out of your life.
  • mysweetjenna
    mysweetjenna Posts: 52 Member
    I understand where you are coming from completely. Kinda like trading one end of the food obsession for the other? I don't use a food scale. Why? Because is damn weird, that's why. What normal person measures out every morsel of food before they put it in their mouth? Really?

    I'm a smart girl. I know what healthy eating habits look like. I know I need to get off of my butt. I'll bet you know too. I wish you the best as you take back control.
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  • Jetta_C
    Jetta_C Posts: 58
    I think you need to figure out why counting calories feels like a "punishment" to you. Because, whether you count them or not, the calories are there.

    Are there people who maintain their weight and have no idea how many calories are in a large banana or whether their steak is 5 ounces or 7? Sure there are. But they use internal cues like "I am getting full--I will stop eating now." Most people are on this site because they have somehow become disconnected with that internal voice.

    If you don't count calories, you need to ask yourself "How will I know when I've had my decided-upon limit of food for the day?" If you can come up with a plan for that which will work, then more power to you.
  • funchords
    funchords Posts: 413 Member
    unless I myself scrutinize every ingredient and break down the recipe into calories - I can't eat it. I can't. Estimating would gnaw at me.

    I do get what you're saying.

    You are experiencing anxiety. You're thinking that you must get this exactly right or it will fail. That by worrying over every last entry, you're causing the weight loss. And, classic anxiety, you're also worrying about worrying. You're worried that by worrying so much, you're going to drive yourself to failure.

    Of course, you're not.

    What if you asked your mother-in-law to keep your plate under 700 calories and you just logged it as 700 calories? (To do this: Quick Tools, Quick Add Calories.) Instead of visualizing it as a black hole in your food log, visualize it instead as a rare gift of letting go and allowing someone else competently watch your back for one blissful and worry-free meal.

    Now, what if she was off by 700 calories? She would have to be off by five times that to affect your weight by a single pound (3500 calories is a pound). So tell yourself: not only will I be alright, I'm going to enjoy this special occasion.

    Do some reading on anxiety and see if the description fits you and the tips help you.
  • baleighcakes
    baleighcakes Posts: 28 Member
    I think for some people counting calories can trigger some OCD or even ED. I notice from your ticker that you want to get to around 110 lb. and that you weigh in the 140s? How tall are you? How much weight do you really need to lose? Could making minor more intuitive changes to your diet help you more than calorie counting? I know people who have lost weight just by cutting out soda or reducing portions slightly. I use MFP myself, but one major change I made was the amount of carbs I ate for breakfast. I used to eat toast and cereal; now it's cereal with fruit, or eating 1/2 cup of rice instead of a whole one with my dinner, or if I have corn on the cob and rice or potatoes at a meal, eating only one starch.

    My daughter, who is around 5'10" and in the 170 range got down to around 150 following a program called the "I" diet at her workplace, which is about instinctive eating. It gives a meal plan with 3 meals and 2 healthy snacks. The foods are nutrient dense but lower calorie and incorporate "Treats" such as melting a small piece of dark chocolate into yogurt for a"sundae." She got the book for free, but she just follows the plans. Also, the nutritionist on staff said that if you are young, following a plan 5 days out of 7 will get good results (Those older folks like me aren't so lucky and have to stay on plan most of the time.)

    You have to be able to relax and enjoy life now and then. You are young and if you are not excessively overweight, you should be spending your energies in more productive ways rather than obsessively counting if it's taking all the joy out of your life.

    Thanks for the response, I'm looking into the program your daughter did now. I'm 5'1" and at my heaviest I was very close to 170 lbs. My lowest was 95 lbs, but that was when I was a tiny high schooler who couldn't put on weight no matter what. I have a small frame and I feel like 110 give or take a few would be a healthy point. I ballooned pretty fast and I think it was just a combination of getting older while still eating like a teen, developing new hormone problems (PCOS), and getting on antidepressants. I've been playing with medicine and seeing my doctor at least once a month to keep me on track.
  • rosebette
    rosebette Posts: 1,659 Member
    I think for some people counting calories can trigger some OCD or even ED. I notice from your ticker that you want to get to around 110 lb. and that you weigh in the 140s? How tall are you? How much weight do you really need to lose? Could making minor more intuitive changes to your diet help you more than calorie counting? I know people who have lost weight just by cutting out soda or reducing portions slightly. I use MFP myself, but one major change I made was the amount of carbs I ate for breakfast. I used to eat toast and cereal; now it's cereal with fruit, or eating 1/2 cup of rice instead of a whole one with my dinner, or if I have corn on the cob and rice or potatoes at a meal, eating only one starch.

    My daughter, who is around 5'10" and in the 170 range got down to around 150 following a program called the "I" diet at her workplace, which is about instinctive eating. It gives a meal plan with 3 meals and 2 healthy snacks. The foods are nutrient dense but lower calorie and incorporate "Treats" such as melting a small piece of dark chocolate into yogurt for a"sundae." She got the book for free, but she just follows the plans. Also, the nutritionist on staff said that if you are young, following a plan 5 days out of 7 will get good results (Those older folks like me aren't so lucky and have to stay on plan most of the time.)

    You have to be able to relax and enjoy life now and then. You are young and if you are not excessively overweight, you should be spending your energies in more productive ways rather than obsessively counting if it's taking all the joy out of your life.

    Thanks for the response, I'm looking into the program your daughter did now. I'm 5'1" and at my heaviest I was very close to 170 lbs. My lowest was 95 lbs, but that was when I was a tiny high schooler who couldn't put on weight no matter what. I have a small frame and I feel like 110 give or take a few would be a healthy point. I ballooned pretty fast and I think it was just a combination of getting older while still eating like a teen, developing new hormone problems (PCOS), and getting on antidepressants. I've been playing with medicine and seeing my doctor at least once a month to keep me on track.

    I think there are a few threads on this site for PCOS and for specific eating programs people follow for it. You might want to do a search on it. Yes, 110-120 would be a good weight at your height. I'm around 120 myself at 5'1.5".
  • caracrawford1
    caracrawford1 Posts: 657 Member
    If you find that counting calories is anxiety producing for you, then you will have to find alternative ways to monitor your portions. For some people, esp those who have suffered from an ED, counting cals and weighing food can be triggering. There are websites which describe how to eyeball portions--ie: an oz of cheese is the size of 4 dice, a serving of meat the size of a deck of cards, etc. So you could try that sort of thing, being aware that you will want to leave a little margin for error.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    Can you honestly lose weight by eying portions, eating good foods, and listening to your body? That's what I want to do, but I'm not sure where to start.

    You definitely can. I'm not even all that great at listening to my body, and I lost about 60 lbs doing this and kept it off for years. (Obviously I regained, but that wasn't related to the loss strategy.) Oddly, enough, I find calorie counting more flexible (although I eat almost exactly the same--I did this for a while before counting this time and naturally started eating the same way and counted for a while before weighing), and in particular I don't worry overmuch if it's not possible to estimate perfectly (I go out to dinner at least once a week and know those are horribly inaccurate, and I don't go anywhere with calorie information either). My initial instinct is to tell you that it's that need to be obsessive and have to know that is the problem, not counting, but people are different and if it triggers something it may well be bad for you.

    Anyway, how I did it was just having a basic idea of what I ate for my meals and then basically staying within those patterns. Not restrictive ones, but like having a few different breakfasts that were about the right size and macro mix, a few different lunches, same (or just bringing leftover dinner or going out to somewhere I was familiar with), and then having a dinner that was basically a serving size of meat, a smallish serving size of starchy carbs, and lots of vegetables. I also had one night a week which could be something more indulgent, though I still watched portions carefully, and if plans were disrupted I again would handle it by focusing on (a) portion size, and (b) trying to eat a lot of veggies if possible and, after that, going for fruit. Now I'd probably modify it mainly by being more focused on protein.

    Not saying this is the way to do it, but that once you have a sense of what you are eating and how much measuring is less necessary. Even now, though I enjoy keeping really detailed records (it makes it more entertaining to eat healthy for me and allows me to feel comfortable eating more indulgent foods at times, since I know they fit), I am reasonably sure I could estimate my calories for the day really closely without counting, and if you just told me to stay around 1600, I'd probably eat a bit low (again, why it works better for me to count right now), but be able to be in the ballpark consistently.
  • baleighcakes
    baleighcakes Posts: 28 Member
    Thanks for the replies, everyone! I'm looking into everything that has been suggested here. I'm also considering going to a nutritionist to see if that will help.