The dreaded 'mom guilt'

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humpalc
humpalc Posts: 140
in Motivation and Support
So I am starting a boot camp class Tues/Thurs mornings, and have a Zumba class Thurs PM I am supposed to try with a friend. I already am feeling anxiety about not being here to get the kids ready, fed, etc. Ugh! I know I need this for me, and I know my hubby is perfectly capable, but I am already stressed about it!

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  • halobender
    halobender Posts: 780 Member
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    Just be sure to stay in close communication with your husband about what's going on at home and with getting the kids ready. Let him know that you're still there and that you're still going to be involved; that becoming healthy isn't diminishing your role as mom/wife, just creating more opportunity for sharing responsibilities ;)
  • Bethany28
    Bethany28 Posts: 263
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    Just remind yourself that you are getting healthy so you can be the BEST mom!
  • YogaRunner
    YogaRunner Posts: 652 Member
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    You know how when on an airplane the attendants say, "If you are traveling with a young child or someone who needs assistance, secure your own oxygen mask before helping them".....Same thing goes in life:flowerforyou: You are being a great role model in so many ways by taking your classes and sticking to it. First, you are showing your kids that exercise is important. Second, you are showing them that taking care of yourself is a priority. Third, you are showing your husband you have confidence in him. Fourth, you are showing your kids you have confidence in their father. I could go on and on all day :heart: Save the guilt for when you are doing something wrong. In this case, it is misplaced. :heart: :heart:
    Risa
  • LandBsdotingchauffeur
    LandBsdotingchauffeur Posts: 237
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    You need to do this for yourself so you can be the best mom that you can be for your kids. This is a lifestyle change that starts with you and continues with them :) So while you might feel guilty b/c you're away from them and hubby has to wrangle them on his own, he's capable, like you said and this change in you will benefit not just you, but your whole family.
  • spacecase76
    spacecase76 Posts: 673 Member
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    let it go. You being healthy is GOOD for your kids. You will be around for them longer, they will learn a healthier life-style because of it, which will let them be around longer for their kids :smile:

    You get over mom-guilt, for the most part. I work in an office and leave the 2 year old with daycare every day. It bothered me 2 years ago. Now? Not so much.
  • fitnesspirateninja
    fitnesspirateninja Posts: 667 Member
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    You know how when on an airplane the attendants say, "If you are traveling with a young child or someone who needs assistance, secure your own oxygen mask before helping them".....Same thing goes in life:flowerforyou: You are being a great role model in so many ways by taking your classes and sticking to it. First, you are showing your kids that exercise is important. Second, you are showing them that taking care of yourself is a priority. Third, you are showing your husband you have confidence in him. Fourth, you are showing your kids you have confidence in their father. I could go on and on all day :heart: Save the guilt for when you are doing something wrong. In this case, it is misplaced. :heart: :heart:
    Risa

    I was going to say something like this, but Rita said it much better than I ever could. You need to take care of yourself in order to take care of your children. It's not selfish to want to live a long and healthy life.
  • earthy_lady
    earthy_lady Posts: 10
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    The best moms are the ones with a strong enough heart to love themselves and their children. Your kids will be fine with their Dad, and it will be good for them to get used to having a routine with someone other than mom sometimes. And when they are all grown up and having kids of their own, they will be so thankful to have a healthy mother who is going to live to be around for grand kids and maybe even great grand kids. Being a healthy, active mom will ultimately be a beautiful gift for your family as well as yourself.
  • asm12707
    asm12707 Posts: 63
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    i feel the same way when i do something for myself, i think for me its that im so used to being mommy that its weird to be away from them.
  • yvonnej1
    yvonnej1 Posts: 904 Member
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    I have to admit to pretty much losing all my guilt over escaping to work out. Actually I love my little bit of space and freedom to be me, not someone's mum, and do something I like. I find I return to the kids looking forward to spending time with them after having a little breather.

    You can't be with your kids 24/7 forever and like others have said this is in a good cause.

    Enjoy the opportunity, once you get exercising you won't have time to feel guilty while you're out :bigsmile:
  • HW2Hottie
    HW2Hottie Posts: 100
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    Ohh do I know mommy guilt!! I left the gym late this week and my oldest was tardy to school. Even though it is P.E. and she was already dressed out I felt like crap. Then I felt even worse when I asked her to watch her siblings so I could take another class. It was alot to ask of her but she knows that I am doing it for the right reasons. And I have to be ESPECIALLY careful doing this with a teenage girl around. I don't want her getting the wrong idea about body image but I want her to be healthy as well. Sit down and explain it to them in the best way you can for their age. Get them to understand that this is the way it has to be because this is the way it SHOULD be. Mommy should have time to take care of herself so that she can take care of you!

    I don't have any idea if hubby is a viable option, (the schedule here is crazy) but if he is enlist his help. I will say that your life will go smoother if you just put it in the schedule and stick too it. Like I told mine, for now, I have a second job and it is going to the gym. I must be there, I must show up. No excuses. Make them stick to YOUR plan.

    Hope this helps! Good Luck and take care of you!
  • humpalc
    humpalc Posts: 140
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    Thanks for the encouragement! All stuff I know, but need to be reminded!
  • MrsTamahome
    MrsTamahome Posts: 1
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    Can anyone add advice to mommy guilt for the single mothers? I lost enough weight a couple years ago to feel comfortable with myself but have noticed recently that I've been gaining a lot back. I'm starting slow to make sure I focus on committing to exercise regularly (6 of 7 days) since I abhor it. Although I'm at home, I have to basically not focus on my sons (four and seven years old) and I feel dreadful for doing so. The person I'm dating doesn't understand the dilemma (or the fact that i hate all exercise). How do I continue doing something I dislike, that takes time away from parenting my sons, and takes time away from the little
    happy "me" time I get? I could use more motivation.
  • humpalc
    humpalc Posts: 140
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    Could you find a class or activity to do WITH your kids for a workout, and get your me time another way? Like tae kwon do, kick boxing, shooting hoops, playing tag or soccer with the boys, then schedule a little pampering time for yourself as a reward for being such a great mom and role mode
  • momtoogscjsjds
    momtoogscjsjds Posts: 17
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    It's definitely difficult to juggle everything, but you are trying to get healthy! It's not like you are going out shopping or partying. You are going to exercise. I have 3 young kids myself and felt guilty doing anything for myself for sooooo long. It finally hit me this past week that in order to be the best Mom, the healthiest Mom, I need to take care of myself now.
  • sarahlauren18
    sarahlauren18 Posts: 128 Member
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    This is also something I struggle with... my husband bought an expensive elliptical so it would be easier not to leave all the time HOWEVER!!! I do leave once or twice a week once their little heads are asleep & snuggled in bed. I personally HATE working out in the morning so its actually easy once I put them to bed to work out by myself for an hour!!

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