Gaining confusion + are big meals ok?

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So last summer I made the mistake of drastically cutting down my calorie intake and suddenly exercising a lot. I remember dropping from 51/52kg to 48/49kg in 1.5 months, and I'm 164.5cm. For some reason I lost my period in June, July, and August but i was JUST beginning to cut body fat. It came back in September but it was too light and it never came back since. By March I was like 46kg and I've dropped to as far as 45 kg I think., even though I increased my calories from 1200 to 1500. In may I started eating a lot more, and in June I made the effort to try to gain weight. I stopped calorie counting and ate whatever I want. Around this time I went to see a gynecologist and I was prescribed Provera (birth control) but bleeding never happened.

I am now around 47 or 48 kg. honestly, all along I never really felt fatigued or unhealthy, and I still have plenty of energy to exercise. I also don't look underweight and I have fat rolls when I sit, so I don't know if I really need to gain weight. I'm seeing another doctor tomorrow but I'm just so confused about weight gain?? When I eat according to my hunger cues and feelings my weight kind of stabilizes, so do I really need to gain???

Regardless, I got scared so I ate a 1000+ calorie breakfast when I woke up. It was 3- 4 whole wheat bread slices (rather thick), 2 bananas, half a block of raw dark chocolate, Medjool date, too many almonds to count, green grapes and 3/4 of a peach. Is eating so much at once bad in any way? I mean, what if I do have to gain weight?

(And you're all going to say I eat too many carbs but I've always eaten like this and I feel fine ... :S)
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Replies

  • ainarsraciks
    ainarsraciks Posts: 166 Member
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    So you lost your period because of too low weight? I think it's pretty clear what your body is trying to tell you. Also, basing on your stats you are currently medically underweight. Yes, you need to gain weight, if you wanna maintain good health. Just go lift weights and tone up, build some muscle. You don't necessary have to add a ton of fat. Just go 200 cals over maintenance and lift heavy.
  • bunnylion
    bunnylion Posts: 265 Member
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    It sounds to me like food tremendously confuses and scares you. So maybe it would be a good idea to not only seek medical but also psychological advice to help you sort it all out?

    Your weight for your height seems really really low. Those 'rolls' when you sit most likely are not fat at all but just skin.

    Eating a lot in a meal is not bad. For your overall health it is not important whether you eat lots of small meals or a few big ones. Do it as you prefer it. The foods you listed are all healthy as well, so I don't see a problem there either. I'm more worried about your attitude towards food and your body.

    Please do your body and your health the favor and listen to your doctors. Talk to some nutritionist and/or a psychologist. Take care of yourself and get better! Food should not be scary and confusing but enjoyable.
  • 0nesecret
    0nesecret Posts: 44 Member
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    Oh no don't get me wrong. Last year I was in a bad place but right now I hardly fear food. I just wondered if big meals are healthy because I've heard that they mess with insulin/blood sugar levels and I just want to feel good.

    The fat rolls exist, but I've accepted them as an inherent part of me. I have 0 fat in my upper body as opposed to my lower body. But just the fact of how I look makes me wonder if I'm truly underweight (growing up I've always been really light. My BMI never really exceeded 19).
  • ainarsraciks
    ainarsraciks Posts: 166 Member
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    I just wondered if big meals are healthy because I've heard that they mess with insulin/blood sugar levels and I just want to feel good.
    They do mess with insulin/blood sugar levels indeed. Personally big meals make me sleepy and takes away all the energy, physical and mental. But it has no effect on health. You don't need to worry about your blood sugar levels jumping unless you already have a problem like diabetes. For healthy person it's no harm.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,088 Member
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    Some people are naturally around 47 kg at your height, but I imagine this is the very bottom of the healthy range.
    And a BMI around 19 confirms this.
    You certainly do not need to lose weight.

    However, if I have read this right, you are now on the Depo Provera birth control injections?
    Some people do not get periods on this or get very light ones - that is quite common and not a weight issue.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,088 Member
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    Oops, sorry, just realised this is in the gaining weight forum.

    My point about Depo Provera injections and periods still stands - but I mistakenly thought you wanted to lose weight.
  • wonderwoman234
    wonderwoman234 Posts: 551 Member
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    You need to seek the advice of a therapist who specializes in eating disorders, which is what you have. It doesn't matter if you are overeating, undereating, or binging. You sounds like you have a disordered relationship with food and body image. Don't be in denial - you lost your period from starving yourself. Eating disorders are not truly about the food so just deciding to eat more (which you should do) is not really treating your eating disorder. It will keep coming back and manifest itself in different ways. Please get help.
  • 0nesecret
    0nesecret Posts: 44 Member
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    @paperpudding I took provera orally for 5 days. My period didn't come which shows that I lack estrogen.

    I went to see a gynecologist and was prescribed to take estrogen and progesterone for 6 months to mimic natural hormones... Eek. But to tackle the real problem I have to gain weight and have a more varied diet. :/

    I probably had disordered eating but I didn't know much better. I thought losing weight would make me look good, but I learned the hard way that it takes more than that :/ I don't believe I currently have an eating disorder - I'm not avoiding food and I'm overeating but it's something that I can control . I'm simply dismayed and confused about how to go about gaining weight.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,088 Member
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    oh ok - thanks for clarifying.

    Ignore my statement about Depo provera injections then.

    I thought that was what you meant but I see it isnt.
  • susannamarie
    susannamarie Posts: 2,148 Member
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    Are you sure those are fat rolls? I think you really need to ask a bluntly honest friend, or post it somewhere private where you can ask some online friends.

    I've seen some very skinny ladies who were convinced that they had fat rolls when what it really was, was their slightly-loose skin wrinkling as they sat down.
  • 0nesecret
    0nesecret Posts: 44 Member
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    Well, the skin/fat protrudes and can spill over my pants by a little bit, so I believe they are fat rolls yes. There's something to be pinched and I've actually never managed a completely flat stomach.

    But I guess that I still don't have enough body fat despite this, especially given by my almost emaciated upper body.

    I still wonder if big meals are good of bad and if fast weight gain is bad, because I'll be honest and say that I've gained 1kg over 1-1.5 weeks. I don't mind if this isn't considered unhealthy.
  • bunnylion
    bunnylion Posts: 265 Member
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    Like with most things there are also different approaches to eating. None of them can generally be called better than one of the others. Each method has its pros and cons. It always depends on preference, the circumstances and the goals.

    Some form of intermittent fasting where all calories are consumed in a short time window seems pretty popular in the body building community. With this method several thousand calories are consumed in a short time of 1 to 4 hours. However, another popular eating schedule for body builders is six meals a day or more...

    The three meals a day idea is a pretty new idea (compared to the entire history of mankind). In circumstances where food is not readily available in supermarkets and restaurants it might even be impossible to keep to the three meals a day schedule.

    One study as an example:
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17413096
  • RHachicho
    RHachicho Posts: 1,115 Member
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    The difference between large and small meals is negligible. The insulin response is often demonized. But honestly your body is smarter than that. It sounds like you have ended up with a really bad case of muscular atrophy. That's why your so underweight and still have fat. You need to realize that fixing this problem is going to be a long process. And your probably going to have to put on a bit of fat to do so.

    At the moment really the best thing you can do is to eat 1 - 300 calories above maintenance (aim to put on about .5 to lb a week) and weight lift. And I don't mean bicep curls or shoulder shrugs. You want big compound movements like squats, dead-lifts, rows, bench presses. These are great for stimulating overall muscle growth. It's totally ok to start out at small weights or even body weight on the squats if you can't handle a bar. But you are in a dangerous place right now. If your muscle and bone atrophy beyond a certain level you wont be able to rebuild them easily. And then you will probably never recover. I spoke to someone once who had crash dieted and obsessed over food just like you do. His bone cells got so starved they broke down and stopped repairing themselves. Now he can't even walk 20 minutes without his bones feeling like they are gonna break. You don't want that right?
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    Everyone has rolls when they sit down- skin does that when you sit.

    it isn't fat- it's just what your body does.
  • 0nesecret
    0nesecret Posts: 44 Member
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    No, in fact I'm really scared of osteoporosis and that's what's prompting me to gain weight fast. I'm hoping that missing one year of period didn't do too much irreversible damage.

    I don't know if my muscles really atrophied because I did engage in body weight exercises (most were running and HIITs). But I will actually cut back on exercising now in order for my endocrine functions to return... And start doing more weight lifting to strengthen my bones.

    So the message I'm getting is that it doesn't matter too much if I eat large meals or gain too fast? I know gaining too fast = mostly fat gains but I am a woman after all and need my period back ...
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    you haven't had it for a year.

    why the sudden rush now?

    eat a gradual small consistent surplus- and lift weights.

    Gaining weight super fast isn't going to help you long term either- it's been gone for a year- getting it back suddenely doesn't mean things will be honkey doory.

    Slow down.
  • DjinnMarie
    DjinnMarie Posts: 1,297 Member
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    A BMI of 19 usually isn't low enough to cause Amenorrhea. I've been there a few times after a cut (5'4" as well). Yes it's thin, but not dangerously so. Have they tested you for other complications? Thyroid, pcos etc?
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
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    A BMI of 19 usually isn't low enough to cause Amenorrhea. I've been there a few times after a cut (5'4" as well). Yes it's thin, but not dangerously so. Have they tested you for other complications? Thyroid, pcos etc?

    Low weight alone isn't always the problem for amenorrhea. Stress plays a big factor, which is why losing weight really fast can cause it even if you're a normal weight. Sounds like that may be exactly what happened to OP.

    OP, you're not in so bad a condition that gaining weight as fast as possible is the best solution, from what you've posted. If you focus on a nice balanced diet, 250-500 cals over your maintenance, and do strength training while making sure to get plenty of rest you'll be on the right track. Then be patient, and increase those calories whenever you quit gaining for a couple of weeks. Switch to maintenance when you've hit your goal weight and reassess.
  • 0nesecret
    0nesecret Posts: 44 Member
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    Actually, I said my BMI never went past 19, but over the past year it has reached as low as 16.5. Right now it's around 17.5.

    And yes, my blood test reveals low estrogen levels (and vitamin D deficiency whoops). My doctor suspects it to be low body weight and nutritional deficiencies.
  • kirkor
    kirkor Posts: 2,530 Member
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    Regardless, I got scared so I ate a 1000+ calorie breakfast when I woke up. It was 3- 4 whole wheat bread slices (rather thick), 2 bananas, half a block of raw dark chocolate, Medjool date, too many almonds to count, green grapes and 3/4 of a peach. Is eating so much at once bad in any way? I mean, what if I do have to gain weight?

    (And you're all going to say I eat too many carbs but I've always eaten like this and I feel fine ... :S)

    Needs more protein. You may feel fine, but clearly the results are not to your liking.