Where's my motivation? Support? What happened?

p_cakes
p_cakes Posts: 282
edited September 23 in Motivation and Support
Today has been just one big drop for me! I just needed somewhere to vent and I figure since everyone here is trying to do exactly what I want to do, this was a good place. plus I don't know anyone here, so I am more open to spilling my guts, ha!

I was working out with a friend at her gym, she can bring a buddy for free, so I go with her (because I DONT want to pay $60 a month with a 3 yr contract) and the closest gym that has a reasonable membership is about 30-45 mins away. Anywho, she keeps cancelling or wanting to work out at 9:30pm. I want to do my early or in the middle of the day. I'm anxious to get it done, I don't want to sit around all day.
Maybe I should just do it myself? But then the problem there, I never can motivate myself enough to actually get up and work out. I've got all these work out plans with me and things I can do, but i just don't. Not good, I know.

Then, I look for motivation from my boyfriend. He has always told me he loves me the way I am, no matter if I am big or small. I told him I'm doing this to make me happy, and I hope he enjoys it too! I don't hear any kind of encouragement from him. I thrive on that stuff, and everyone that knows me knows that. It really helps when someone you care about is pushing you to do something. I told him my friend cancelled on tomorrow nights step class( another thing I was really looking forward to) and he just said "Oh it'll be alright."

I don't want to give up and quit, but right now that's what I feel like doing.

What type of things do you do to get motivated? For those that don't go to a gym, what has worked best for you?

I don't want my goal to be far away, I want to reach it by May. I want a workout plan that's going to work! I've got a book that has a wonderful workout plan that I was thinking about starting tomorrow and then working out with my friend whenever she can.

I think I'm basically just looking for some motivation...I'm hoping this doesn't seem to whiney or whatever. It's just me venting and what-not.

Replies

  • geeky1
    geeky1 Posts: 142
    All I can say is hang in there. "This too shall pass".

    Some days it is all i can do simply to put one foot in front of the other and try and just get through the day. Then there are other days which are fabulous; you can see a little change here and ther or you may catch a glimps of yourself in a window and think maybe you can see a difference.

    Hang in there. It will get easier.

    Big Hug :)
  • bubbaduts
    bubbaduts Posts: 196 Member
    my first month was terrible no one cared or supported me it seemed my husband seemed to be sabotaging me all the time and it was so hard but looking in the mirror was motivation enough i HATED myself. now 3 months + in i feel fantastic my husband bothers me if i don't work out or want something i shouldn't and everyone can't believe how good i am doing. I think at first everyone assumes you are going to fail so whats the point of supporting someone who will just give up and that again was motivation enough for me I COULDN'T fail. :) so look to yourself is basically what i'm saying in a nutshell for motivation and support
  • MelissaL582
    MelissaL582 Posts: 1,422 Member
    Sorry to hear that you're not getting the motivation you want. I'm a stay at home mom of 3 children. I don't go to the gym since we're a single income family and I am not wasting money on registration and paying monthly fees. When my oldest is at school or busy doing something and my little 2 children are napping, I'll workout. I do step aerobics while watching a favorite show to keep my mind off the clock. By the time the show is done, I've burnt 500+ calories! I've worked out to belly dancing videos on youtube. Get creative =) Just logging on everyday and seeing all my "support" friends logging down their exercises motivates me. I think to myself.. "if she can do it, I can do it".
  • kiannlouise
    kiannlouise Posts: 310 Member
    Yeah that totally sucks about your friend cancelling on you.... maybe if you dont want to spend the money to attend a gym, spend the money to get some weights at home- maybe even a fit ball and weight ball? they're awesome to work out with!
    Even if you brought some work out tapes?
    What I do to keep motivates is- I have cut out photos of celebs on my dressing table (so when I wake up thats the first thing I see), we dont keep any nasty foods or drinks in the house, I attend workout classes every week, I have a personal trainer, I LOVE THIS WEBSITE for encouragement/ support, I thrive off compliments and I make my own short-term goals like Bali in May, I want to have lost 15 more kilos etc.........

    I hope that helps?

    :-)

    Ohhh and making sure im under my calorie goal!
  • peggybrant
    peggybrant Posts: 144 Member
    Don't give up!!! I myself in the last couple years became poor and couldn't afford the gym anymore so I bought a wii and I now do the wii active, wii active 2 workouts at home. Yes you have that initial cost if you don't already own a system but so much money saved in the long run. I've had more results from the wii than in all those years I paid and went to the gym. Even if my money situation changes I wouldn't join a gym again.
  • literaryshots
    literaryshots Posts: 66 Member
    Sounds like you know you need a workout buddy, but that the one you have doesn't fit your needs. I'm much the same way and it has taken me a while to find someone to lean on. We don't always get to work out together, but because I know she's going to hold me accountable either way, this works for me.
  • bangarangbree
    bangarangbree Posts: 39
    I'm sorry, dear! That's tough! I'm fortunate enough to be in college, so I have a free gym, but I used to never go because my friends wouldn't go with me. I just had to make it a priority. I always listen to this church's podcast that I love, so that's my motivation to go :) Maybe you can find some fun youtube videos to do at home? If you have netflix, they have several instantplay workouts. I did a yoga one last night and loved it.
  • Warmbloodwear
    Warmbloodwear Posts: 387 Member
    I agree hang in there!
    I made a playlist on the ipod for motivation and i crank that and get into the car to get to the gym right after jillian and the shred kick my trash:grumble:
    I also know I want this so bad I keep trying to picture the end result. When I have a crappy day i take it off and hope tomorrow will be better...
    You will get through this you know you want it!!! Just keep at it... We are here for ya:wink:
  • bettertracie
    bettertracie Posts: 196 Member
    Well, your friend cant lose the weight for you, and the reality of the situation is that if this was easy, we'd all look exactly like we want to and never need a website support system... But here we are... So, that being said, nobody else can change you, only you can change you, and if you truly want results you just have to get yourself on your own routine, I think if you can get going and maintain your very own workouts, you will feel like a stronger woman on the inside AND out because you did this, just you!!

    I cant afford a gym membership either, I started out walking, at first 20 to 30 minutes a day, and gradually increased my time, distance, and recently I started running my route because I just felt like I needed to... I also play with an exercise ball when I wake up and at night before bed....

    GOOD LUCK!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!
  • pgrady1
    pgrady1 Posts: 11
    I find most of my motivation from my friends here on mfp. I also linked my mfp to facebook. My updates are posted on facebook and I get a lot of encouragement from my fb friends. I work out to Jillian Michaels 2010 Ultimatum. She kicks my butt every time I do the work out. Having said all the above most of my motivation comes from within because I want to be healthy for me, my children and my future grandchildren. I work helping others and I cannot help others if I cannot help my self. Good luck! :heart:
  • avongodess
    avongodess Posts: 12
    You have to hang in there! I have never had to diet. So this has been a real challenge for me. I use to work out to stay in shape when I was younger sometimes. When I hit 40, the weight started coming on and then I had a hard time taking it off. But I find if I talk to people about it (co workers and friends have been very supportive) it keeps me motivated. Also, since I am out of shape, I started with an exercise plan that wouldnt kill me and make me hurt so bad I never wanted to do it again. Yoga. I really like it. The stretches make me feel longer, leaner, stronger and more flexible. (which I really needed). and the relaxation part is great also. This way I can transition into something harder once I have built up some strength and loosened up my muscles some.

    You have people on here that will encourage you. But if you want it bad enough just keeping pressing on!
  • erzille
    erzille Posts: 524 Member
    The support here is awesome....It has been a big boost for me. I do not go to a gym, but I use my workout dvds. I also have a WII and Kinect. I get bored with the same routine over and over. I do wish my hubbie would be there to work out with me...but that time will come...right now I enjoy his compliments of my hard work!
  • p_cakes
    p_cakes Posts: 282
    Thanks everyone! Sometimes it takes complete strangers, who might be in or have been in the same spot I am in, to make you feel better. I'm planning out my workout for tomorrow, it's supposed to be cold, but sunny tomorrow so I'm going to run. Then I'll probably start making my own workout routine on Sundays, just so I have them in case my buddy desides to cancel.
    I know that I'm the only one that can get me to where I want to be, no one else will do it for me. I just have to say "Pattie, shut up and get your butt moving"
  • traceyhinson
    traceyhinson Posts: 2
    X-box Kinect is awesome. My friend takes her daily walk with an MP3 player to clear her mind of the days events, I go to a gym. My boyfriend joined my gym but he and I can never find buddy time to work out. Workout tapes always help. I have been on the up and down weight loss roller coaster most of my life. After a back injury that has caused me to put on nearly 60 pounds I have decided it's 'now or never' and motivation from other people would help but just isn't there. Maybe buy an inside exercise machine (bike, treadmill) used on Craigslist and work away on it while you are home. Go with your friend when she can take you. When you reach your goal if you didn't want the exercise machine, just sell it again on Craigslist. Just keep putting one foot in front of another and don't give up on your goals. If you quit now, you won't reach them. Good luck. :happy:
  • tishieb
    tishieb Posts: 80 Member
    Because you are doing this for YOU .. let yourself be the motivation .. let your feelings of health, happiness, more energy, your quality of life be your motivation. I got a gift certificate for walmart for Christmas from someone in my family and wasn't sure what to buy so I got to thinking hmmmmm .. something for me ... I bought all this yoga stuff .. having NEVER done yoga before and really wanted to get into it. So, I bought a mat, a couple DVDs and a cute little yoga outfit. I lit some candles, bought a little buddha from the dollar store and I have to say that it was the best thing I've done for myself in a VERY long time. I've been doing yoga now for a couple weeks and feel awesome. I actually can't wait to do it everyday. AND .. I feel different .. I feel different in my body, I feel different in my head ... I can't explain it. Do yourself this favour and save yourself the gym membership ( I was a member at a gym for years ) and I never felt results like I do from yoga. Not to say it's a better work out or whatever, it's just an all over body " thing " I can't explain better than this LOL ..... I love it .. and if you try it .. I hope you experience the fantastic feelings that I have.
  • skinnygirlfreed
    skinnygirlfreed Posts: 53
    I'm sorry you're feeling the way you do, really. We need support from others. It helps sooo much.

    However, not to get all Dr. Phil on ya or anything, but, you need to find your OWN motivation. Don't let your motivation revolve around someone else. If you have a goal - and want to meet it, YOU'RE gonna have to make it happen! Know what I mean??? WHATEVER it takes!

    I do have some suggestions:
    Another workout buddy?
    30-Day Shred (Jillian Michaels) - this is GREAT workout DVD, and will definite help!
    Turbo Jam - another great DVD system... I LOVE it!
    Netflix - you can get workout DVDs from them OR if you have access - they have quite a few videos on instant viewing that you could check out!!!

    Also - if you're not able to afford a gym membership - or don't *want* to afford it... check into local community centers! They often have a gym that you may be able to use free of charge. No lie. I just started going to one close to me...it's completely free and has a pretty decent facility.....I was amazed. It must be a little-known secret.....the place hasn't been "crowded" once!

    Friend me... I'll help support and motivate you! :)
  • ladyhawk00
    ladyhawk00 Posts: 2,457 Member
    I've found much of my motivation here on MFP. Simply having others "around" who can relate to my struggles or tell me "good job" is huge for me. And somehow, it's not the same coming from people I know. My mom (who is my best friend) is very supportive - but it's still not the same.

    The other main thing I've found to motivate myself for exercise (which is my weak point that I always really hated) is I bought a stationary bike and put it in my office/bedroom. This is where I spend the majority of my time (I work at home). So it sits there. Staring at me. Day after day. So I CANNOT avoid it. And it's very easy, even when I can barely bring myself to blink, let alone go somewhere, to hop on and just do it. Has made all the difference in the world for me. I've skipped one workout in 27 days. That is HUGE for me - I've never even come close to staying that committed and consistent.

    So, although I know it's a big expense that many can't afford (I couldn't either, but how much am I saving/going to save on junk food & health care?), it is well worth it for me. And it could be whatever equipment you prefer, and you can often find some for sale used.

    Stay strong and don't depend on those around you to do what's good for you. Make it happen yourself. :flowerforyou:
  • janesmith1
    janesmith1 Posts: 1,511 Member
    Let me 2nd xbox Kinect - that is awesome. We have a thread here for xbox kinect EA Sports Active 2 and I can't tell you how AWESOME it is.

    Friends, lovers, husbands.....? Nope, this is a lonely road and you have got to walk it yourself. This forum is amazing! Everyone here is helpful.

    So get an xbox at costco, asda, best buy, etc, and kinect and the EA Sports Active 2 and come and join our awesome group! Everyone invited!

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/158921-ea-sports-active-2-motivation-thread-everyone-welcome?page=2

    Link is to the 2nd page......

    Or join one of the ongoing awesome groups here that all seem great :)
  • Buttsmom
    Buttsmom Posts: 351 Member
    Check out some of the challenges here on MFP. I think they help me a great deal, because I know I have to account for what I'm doing. Or start your own and invite others to join, you can do for calories burnt for a week, time exercised for a week, etc. Good luck and don't give up.
  • MzBug
    MzBug Posts: 2,173 Member
    Your friend isn't as motivated as you. When I attended classes and stuff with friends, I found that they soon crapped out on me and I was left either going alone, or giving up. Guess what? I wasn't giving up. After a while I just stopped asking my friends to go with me. If they want to be couch potatoes, so be it. And when they later came to me whining that they hadn't lost any weight or toned up I told them point blank that it was their own damn fault. Yes I lost a couple friends that way.

    You have to do what is right for you. I highly reccomend getting a game system if you don't have one. It makes it soooo much easier to "play" than to workout. IF you let your friends try it I am sure they would always be wanting to "play" with you. I even got my boyfriend off the couch with the Wii!

    Good luck!
  • MaryDreamer
    MaryDreamer Posts: 439

    I do have some suggestions:
    Another workout buddy?
    30-Day Shred (Jillian Michaels) - this is GREAT workout DVD, and will definite help!
    Turbo Jam - another great DVD system... I LOVE it!
    Netflix - you can get workout DVDs from them OR if you have access - they have quite a few videos on instant viewing that you could check out!!!

    THANKS for the Netflix tip I did NOT know that! :)
  • BuceesNana
    BuceesNana Posts: 302 Member
    Then, I look for motivation from my boyfriend. He has always told me he loves me the way I am, no matter if I am big or small. I told him I'm doing this to make me happy, and I hope he enjoys it too! I don't hear any kind of encouragement from him. I thrive on that stuff, and everyone that knows me knows that. It really helps when someone you care about is pushing you to do something. I told him my friend cancelled on tomorrow nights step class( another thing I was really looking forward to) and he just said "Oh it'll be alright."

    I know how you feel. My husband is the same way. When I told him the other night that I had actullay ran a little, he asked if something was chasing me. :( Well, this is what I did...I bought a wii with a wii balance board, I recruited some friends to walk at the track with me certain evenings a week...and I walk even when they don't show, I bought a yoga DVD and a BL 30 jump start DVD and I have an elliptical trainer. I rotate what I do and I keep telling myself, I have to do this for me. Encouragement and support from my hubby would be nice, but I have decided that for me, it is not a deal-breaker. You do not need anyone else's approval to get fit and healthy. Keep working on it. Add me as a friend if you want. My MFP friends keep me pretty motivated too. :)
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