Crushing Defeat - All advice appreciated

DrunkInAGolfCart
DrunkInAGolfCart Posts: 57 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hey all, my name is Laura and I've been on a big health kick for the past few months. .

I knew my weight earlier this year was 114kg (251lbs), But since then I got really sick (problem with my tear duct) and ended up in hospital where I could barely eat for 11 days back in March. I was released in April but I was still ill. My eye was a mess - I had to hide behind eye bandages and sunglasses for 5 months until they operated (not privately insured so big waiting list). In June I decided to take the weight loss journey. I'd already lost weight in hospital - it was visible on my face. I haven't been skinny since I was 13. But - until a couple of years ago - I could still look attractive even with extra weight on.

So in June I seriously just felt like an obese cyclops even though people kept commenting on how much weight I'd lost in hospital. Gone were the days I felt attractive at all. So I decided to do something about it. I deliberately didn't weigh myself but estimated I was about (at that stage - after the weight loss from hospital - about 109kg [240lbs])

I've been religious with my diet. I haven't logged the calories but I've counted in my head and know I haven't gone over the 1200.

I started seeing a difference. My jeans were looser. I'd lost more weight off my face. I was actually starting to feel like I could be attractive again. I knew it would take time but I felt like I was on my way.

My eye surgery date came up last week. When I went to pre-admission they had me weigh myself. I was expecting about 102kgs at the point (224lbs). I KNOW I've lost heaps of weight and the figures in my head it made sense that I was about that weight. The number on the scale wasn't even in an earthly stratosphere close to what I was expecting.

116kgs. 255lbs.

2kgs heavier than I was earlier this year. I can only assume the scales were wrong early this year - they were old and dinky - and that's how I've ended up so misguided

But I can't even put into words how it's made me feel. I'm 14kgs (30lbs) heavier than I expected to be.

My self esteem has just been shot now. I've finally got my eye fixed and just feel like a whale. I know I can still lose it but damn, it just seems so damn enormous now.

Please, any advice would be appreciated. Perhaps others who have had similar disappointments and succeeded anyhow??

Replies

  • jnelson1028
    jnelson1028 Posts: 13 Member
    All I can say is guessing how many calories or guessing lbs lost isn't going to work. Scales and actually logging needs to happen.

    Also- don't give up! .. You can do this!
  • snowflake930
    snowflake930 Posts: 2,188 Member
    MFP can truly help you if you are willing to take the time to weigh, measure, and log everything that you eat and drink.
    Many of us here can attest to the fact that if you estimate, chances are pretty good, you are over estimating or at the very least not logging everything you eat and drink. Little tastes of things add up to calories consumed that can make a difference.

    You can do this and you are worth it! Best of luck to you!
  • rogerOb1
    rogerOb1 Posts: 318 Member
    The ladies are right - you can do this!

    Give accurate logging a try and aim for a healthier daily intake rather than the low/generic 1200.
  • silentKayak
    silentKayak Posts: 658 Member
    Surprises are no good. Some people like to weigh weekly. I weigh every day but assume that +/- 2 lbs is just water fluctuation. There are also apps that will track your 7-day average, which is probably the best number to use.

    Comparing 2 weights taken on different scales is pretty meaningless. Get your own scale, weigh at home.

    And log what you eat as accurately as you can. I "thought" I was dieting for years, but kept gaining weight. Now that I'm logging, I'm losing fast. It works.
  • FoogooFish
    FoogooFish Posts: 54 Member
    "I've been religious with my diet. I haven't logged the calories but I've counted in my head and know I haven't gone over the 1200."

    You wanted advice, so here is something others have said and others will continue to say: start logging and quit guesstimating. Invest in a food scale and prepare to have your mind blown by how off the mark you've been when it comes to the things you think you "know."

    Good luck!
  • Skrib69
    Skrib69 Posts: 687 Member
    OK, so the obvious 'weigh and log everything that passes your lips' has been said here so there is no point in repeating it.

    The important bit is in your head. OK, so you got the numbers wrong. But that is all they are - numbers. It is what you see in the mirror that matters most! If you hadn't worked so hard at losing, you would still have it all to do, and you would not fit into your clothes better now.

    You know you can lose the weight - you have already proven that. Just readjust your goal, put your best foot forward, and keep going.

    As I was losing, I readjusted my goal at least 4 times because I still didn't like what I saw in the mirror. That is al you are doing - adjusting the goal.

    Now get out there and do it! We know you can!!
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    I started weighing myself on a spring scale. About 4 months in, I went on a kick, buying a food scale, cups, and "upgraded" to a digital scale. I weighed myself on the new scale and found my weight to be 13# heavier than what the old spring scale told me.

    It sucked. I wasn't 300#. I'd started at near 320# with these new numbers.

    I went and ate some cookies, crying over having to go back in my diary records and change every weigh-in with the added 13#.

    I did it anyway because, for me, I wanted accuracy.

    Get a food scale, even at $10 job from Walmart. Weigh and measure your food. Log as accurately as you can and be as honest as you can. I've been logging for 2.5 years and it's only been the last 3 months that I've been able to talk myself into logging all the food I eat (ok, not my 3 pieces of gum, but all the cheaty treats and things that have no nutritional info :tongue: ). I hate seeing the red numbers.

    It gets better eventually. :flowerforyou:
  • Spreyton22K
    Spreyton22K Posts: 323 Member
    Hi there,

    Perhaps rather than seeing this as a crushing defeat you could look at it as a 'reality' check.....

    Maybe your eye issue and subsequent bout in hospital has given you a different perspective on your situation and you are no longer as 'comfortable' with the extra weight you are carrying.

    Yeah, I understand that having the scale show you how out of kilter with reality we can get when guesstimating calories and body weights would be be a VERY disappointing pill to swallow, but if you are serious about making changes, honestly you are just going to have to suck it up and move on.

    Please, please don't let this derail the positive self-talk and attitude you have had over the past weeks......get a food scale, log everything on MFP, get in some exercise and I am sure you WILL start to see absolute proof of the results you were dreaming about.

    Good Luck
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    awww man sorry to hear your having a tough time. :flowerforyou:

    usually people's bodies have strange reactions to surgeries and you could be retaining water from that.


    just get back up on that horse. setbacks can sometimes be reminders on what are true motivations are for doing things. just get focused and centered, focus on healing your eye and in the meantime get back to logging . you'll start losing again in no time
  • kimothy38
    kimothy38 Posts: 840 Member
    Acknowledge your disappointment and try to move on - don't wallow in it. You're obviously doing something right if your clothes are looser so hang onto that achievement and keep going. Chin up hun.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    I've been religious with my diet. I haven't logged the calories but I've counted in my head and know I haven't gone over the 1200.

    Log it, or it didn't happen.
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
    You are only defeated if you use this as an excuse to give up.

    People on here have started off much higher than you, right up in the 400s, and lost the weight, so I have no doubt that with dedication, support, accurate logging and a lifestyle change, you can do the same.
  • thyrus
    thyrus Posts: 1 Member
    Does it matter what weight you are now??

    I get people talking about logging and regular weighing (they are very important) but the former is most definitely a complete ball ache!

    IF you are 100% certain you have lost weight (clothers looser, see the difference) then why lose heart?

    YOU HAVE LOST WEIGHT!

    Yes if you had a goal weight then your not as close as you hoped but on the bright side you`ll look even more amazing than you do now when you hit it!!! You feel better already about how you look and you still have the total amount still to lose... how great will you look then!

    The key advice here is to keep weighing yourself regularly if you want to avoid these surprises. Go round a few places to get weighed to see differences.

    But if you know you are losing weight and feel it then i wouldnt stress about counting cals until you start to fail losing weight.
  • thisismarytoo
    thisismarytoo Posts: 1
    You can do it! I believe in you! Don't look at it as a crushing defeat, just a set-back. I have been overweight my entire life. Guess what? I got my act together at age 52 and started counting calories (right here on myfittnesspal ) I weighed, measured, got on the scale at least 1 time a week. I started out walking every day. To date, to everyone's amazement, I have lost 66 pounds. If I can do it, so can you! I believe in you.
  • DrunkInAGolfCart
    DrunkInAGolfCart Posts: 57 Member
    Hey thank you all so much for the advice! I was feeling pretty terrible when I wrote this but I'm back up and motivated. My eye is better now - six days after surgery it looks basically normal. Amazing feeling!

    And yeah, I KNOW I have lost weight because my clothes are looser. I don't have a food scale but I have been religious about reading the calorie info on the back package and sticking within my limit. You're all right though - I need to start logging. EVERYTHING.

    I'm also gonna add excercise to my regime. I know I can do this! I can't even describe how it will feel to even go back to what I was a couple of years ago (about 190lbs) let alone get to goal weight (around 120-140lbs depending on how I feel when I get to that point).
  • qstneverything
    qstneverything Posts: 125 Member
    I'd suggest seeing a dietician. What you think is healthy may not be healthy at all and you could be consuming more fat/sugar than you realise. For example, a lot of fat free products are actually packed full of sugar, so they're not good for you at all if not worse.

    Good luck, if you've done it before you can do it again and jump back on! :)
  • becs3578
    becs3578 Posts: 836 Member
    I was always a crappy estimator. I got honest when I got a food scale. So if you can, try to be religious about measuring and logging your food for a month or so and see how you do. I think it will help.

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