How do you stay with it without support?

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Jag13760
Jag13760 Posts: 23
in Motivation and Support
Let me start by saying the support here is wonderful.

I'm talking about home support. I work from home so the only other adults I talk to is my husband and adult children. My husband thinks I am getting healthy to leave him, so he is constantly picking fights or complaining because I'm not eating crap like I used to with him night after night. My kids just don't think I need to lose weight. I'm almost 200 pounds! How can they NOT see that? How can they not see me huffing and puffing when I walk?

I don't care that my husband isn't joining me, it is his body and he can stuff junk into it as he wants, but how do I get him to back off? I quit drinking 5 years ago.....quit smoking in Oct. Now I'm trying to get healthy. I want to run and play with my grandchildren this summer!

How do people stick with this when outside people are constantly trying to get you to fail?

Replies

  • rebeccaoneillcarter
    rebeccaoneillcarter Posts: 51
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    Wow! I'm so sorry that your at home support isn't optimal! Sometimes, even when you are very very loved, the people closest to you are resistant to change. The one thing that I've found helps me are the results. Everyday I am getting stronger, emotionally and physically, and it matters less what people (even my favorite people!) think. It's time to put yourself first! You can't love/respect/care for other people unless you do for yourself first. That being said, having someone to push you does make it easier. You could try the activities section of craigslist.org. Or see if your local rec center has group classes where you can meet people on the same journey. Good luck and remember you've always got MFP!
  • Jag13760
    Jag13760 Posts: 23
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    Thank you. I do appreciate the response. Hard to believe only one person that has any suggestions or has been through this.

    Major pity party today I guess.....
  • rebeccaoneillcarter
    rebeccaoneillcarter Posts: 51
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    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/fluffnstuff11/view/a-little-more-support-at-home-would-be-nice-62545

    It sounds like this woman is in the same boat!
  • lisaking869
    lisaking869 Posts: 43 Member
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    Sorry to hear about this! Its always crazy when the people who love us dont want us to be happy! Change is hard for men!
    I run into resistance with my husband on other issues- not fitness and health- but things like my hair style and clothes. Any kind of resistance is hard- becuase it keep us from living up to our full potenetial. Be persistant- and be kind to him no matter how nasty he gets. That will show him you are not "going anywhere". Also - invire them to participate. They may say no, or even h*ll no, but at least you asked! Good Luck!
  • annalobdell
    annalobdell Posts: 201 Member
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    I need an answer to this question as well. My husband is convinced that I am losing weight to leave him. Forget that fact that I am morbidly obese. Or that I just don't enjoy my life any more. The people here are great. It just tears me apart that the one person who promised " In good times and bad< SICKNESS and Health..." wants to degrade me because I am choosing to be healthier. I feel your pain. I have no advice, just thought i'd let you know that you are not alone.
  • outersoul
    outersoul Posts: 711
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    I'm going to go in reverse. I get a hint that my gf is thinking the same thing. Nothing overt though, just surprise at my choices. I just let it slide off me. It might not be that easy for some but I take that energy and refocus on it. I got myself in this health mess, I have to be the one to get myself out. I just can't let anyone get in the way of it. I don't try to understand what they're thinking. I just know I have to do it for me.
  • bsoxluvr
    bsoxluvr Posts: 183 Member
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    I'm so sorry to hear you are not getting support in the area you really need it right now. Hopefully the people hear can help with that. :wink: Is it possible your husband needs to make some changes as well and doesn't want to? I had a similar situation (with friends, so somewhat different) and the people around me that also needed to make changes were the least supportive! I think it was easier for them to justify their habits if they weren't on the train alone. Either way, congrats to you for making such big changes (quit smoking after 35 years!!) and good luck on your journey.

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