What is Wrong With Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

her_timetofly444
her_timetofly444 Posts: 6
in Motivation and Support
Ahh, So- long story short I have struggled with my weight my entire life. Always been a bit chubbier than average. After high school it all spiralled out of control and I got A LOT chubbier than the average person. Since High school I have had 2 children. My youngest child after she was born and during pregnancy I actually lost weight because I made a decision to eat mostly healthy during pregnancy so I didn't gain huge. I started out that pregnancy at about 226 day after baby was born I was about 211- I got down as low as 199 in the month follow. (this is may 2013) then all the sudden Its like I hit this block and say nope, you can't be getting in shape fit or healthy! Pack the pounds back on so I went back up about by January I was a about 225 again then I started getting panicked because I had a wedding in July (my wedding) so here I am minding my intake again and exercising I get myself to about 207 come June. NOW lets just say today Sept...seeing that good ol 225 again!!! UGHHHH I am just so frustrated with myself whaat in the world is blocking me to get past this weight?? I just want to say good bye to the 200's FOREVER!!!!
Sigh, anyone going through the same thing? Or already went through it and conquered it? Definitely in need of encouragement! THANKS!!!

Replies

  • etelegraph
    etelegraph Posts: 1
    I am in my 60s and have been fighting my weight issues all my life, so I am not sure I am the right one to give you advice. However, I will tell you that since April, I have been able to lose 50 pounds by eliminating sugar and white flour and eating lots of fresh veggies and fruit from our wonderful local farmers. I do have an advantage over you, however, because I don't have children to feed. I was a great one for cleaning up my own daughter's plate when she was at home. I belong to a weight loss support group (TOPS) and have been yo-yo-ing for about 6 years, until something just clicked for my in April. Myfitnesspal has been a really blessing for me as we eat out quite a bit. I just think this time it was some health issues that could be remedied by losing some weight.

    I can't tell you how to buck up your will power while you watch everyone around you chowing down on chips and chocolate. And I wish I could have done this 30 years ago. I still have about 40-50 pounds to lose, and I'm still over 200 myself, but at least I can see 199 from where I am today. And 50 pounds is a lot less daunting than 100 pounds.

    I try to remember that every day is a new beginning. And actually, every meal is a new beginning--an opportunity to make healthy choices for yourself. Just keep plugging away and maybe you can make your good choices before you are 63!
  • 1Cor1510
    1Cor1510 Posts: 413 Member
    I've been right where you are. I did the old yo-yo for years. My husband actually told me yesterday he didn't ever think I would lose the weight and just resigned himself to that reality at one point. Ugh. That makes me sad! I'm 5'6", and at my highest 9 months prego I got to 245. I dropped down to about 215, then eventually about 205. In 2012 I did MFP, logged my food, and in 6 months lost 30 lbs (175). Last year I maintained that pretty well, until November-December and suddenly the scale just went up and up and up! I stepped on it on Christmas Eve 2013 and saw 189. THAT was it. I was not going to see 190 again! EVER! I remembered the joy of hitting finally 199, and the work of getting down into the 170's again so I was NOT having it.

    I've only lost 25 lbs this year so far. I am losing at 1lb every 10 days. I eat everything. Yesterday I had Burger King for breakfast, Pizza for lunch, and Spaghetti for dinner and a few cocktails. Seriously. I am still losing weight.

    So here's the difference this time.
    1) I made lots of friends on MFP, people that support me, and encourage me and I can share the struggle with. It's made a HUGE difference.
    2) I am fanatical about my log in streak. I log in EVERY DAY.
    3) For the first 6 months I faithfully logged every food, every bite, everything! (I have not for the summer because it's been so busy, but in making that decision I monitored to make sure that even when I wasn't logging I was still losing. If I stopped losing, it would be right back to faithfully logging!)
    4) I learned the word patience. I did not lose this weight as fast as I wanted to. But like I said, I don't deprive myself anything I want, I just learned moderation in portions. It can be done, but you didn't gain it in a month or two, you WILL NOT lose it in a month or two.
    5) I took pictures and measurements every two weeks. SEEING the progress helps you disregard the scale when that evil thing does not cooperate. The scale is only one tool and does not reflect losses all the times, especially during TOM or with water retention.
    6) I learned how to use a food scale. You can't know what your intake is until you know you are eating the correct portions.
    7) Take it one day at a time. Say to yourself every day "What can I do today to get me closer to my goal?" Today is the only one you can control, don't look back to yesterday and say oh I wish I'd started sooner, do it now. Today.

    All of that said, today I weigh 165. That's what I weighed when I got married 15 years ago. I'm so happy that I decided to start on Christmas Eve and never look back. Friend me if you'd like, I'd be happy to support you in your quest :)

    ETA: When I first started, the first week all I did was log what I was currently eating. From that information, I was able to tweek my diet with smaller portions/healthier substitutions. I find it hard to know where to go if I don't know where I am!
  • micheleb15
    micheleb15 Posts: 1,418 Member
    There's nothing wrong with you. You are finally recognizing the issue and want to do something about it. Don't try to change everything at once - start small. Set mini goals like drink more water, walk everyday, etc. I don't know what you are eating, but make small changes there too; like if you notice that you are constantly reaching for candy, try to eat a piece of fruit first. It's much easier to add in rather than take away. Add in more fruits, veggies, protein and start to replace the bad items with these. It does become habit and not be completely cliche, but it is a lifestyle not a diet.
  • marypresent
    marypresent Posts: 39 Member
    I can relate so much to what you are going through. Your story and my story are similar. I have gained and lost the same few pounds for quite awhile now. I know how to lose weight but it's so difficult for me to stick to my eating plan for a sustained amount of time. I do well one or two days, then I eat a little more and gain back the pound or so that I lost. It can be so frustrating! But I am determined to not give up and try to find the right formula for me to be successful. I am always looking for tips from others about how to be satified with less and how to make my way of eating something that is ongoing and sustainable. Best wishes on your journey. Hang in there and don't give up!
  • becs3578
    becs3578 Posts: 836 Member
    There's nothing wrong with you. You are finally recognizing the issue and want to do something about it. Don't try to change everything at once - start small. Set mini goals like drink more water, walk everyday, etc. I don't know what you are eating, but make small changes there too; like if you notice that you are constantly reaching for candy, try to eat a piece of fruit first. It's much easier to add in rather than take away. Add in more fruits, veggies, protein and start to replace the bad items with these. It does become habit and not be completely cliche, but it is a lifestyle not a diet.

    LOVE this response. I hit my breaking point Feb 2013 and walked into a crossfit gym for a free class I saw in the newspaper. I was NEVER athletic in my life (except took ballet as a kid and teen). That was my first step. Then came the paleo eating, then the running, then joined MFP, then went back and started dancing again. I COULD NOT HAVE done all of those at once but they all help me on my journey of the last 19 months. I was overweight my entire life (some times more than others) and at 35 I am in the best shape I have never been in EVER.

    So to quote some other people on here "there is nothing wrong with you"... You now have a focus and a goal and you need to plan your steps to achieve it. YOU CAN DO THIS!
  • gotonenerveleft
    gotonenerveleft Posts: 40 Member
    Since you have a family to cook for I suggest that you check out skinnytaste.com for recipes. Also Taste of Home Diet Comfort Food cookbooks. You should find tons of recipes that your family probably already eats, just lightened up. I don't feel deprived at all and nothing seems like diet food. It's just food, good food. If you feel deprived you won't stick with it. You just need to find foods that work in your numbers and make you happy. You can do this!
  • trudywc2
    trudywc2 Posts: 233 Member
    There's nothing wrong with you. You are finally recognizing the issue and want to do something about it. Don't try to change everything at once - start small. Set mini goals like drink more water, walk everyday, etc. I don't know what you are eating, but make small changes there too; like if you notice that you are constantly reaching for candy, try to eat a piece of fruit first. It's much easier to add in rather than take away. Add in more fruits, veggies, protein and start to replace the bad items with these. It does become habit and not be completely cliche, but it is a lifestyle not a diet.

    LOVE this response. I hit my breaking point Feb 2013 and walked into a crossfit gym for a free class I saw in the newspaper. I was NEVER athletic in my life (except took ballet as a kid and teen). That was my first step. Then came the paleo eating, then the running, then joined MFP, then went back and started dancing again. I COULD NOT HAVE done all of those at once but they all help me on my journey of the last 19 months. I was overweight my entire life (some times more than others) and at 35 I am in the best shape I have never been in EVER.

    So to quote some other people on here "there is nothing wrong with you"... You now have a focus and a goal and you need to plan your steps to achieve it. YOU CAN DO THIS!

    How do you like Crossfit. I want to try a class but I'm a little self conscious. Everyone that I see there is thin. I'm currently 226 should I wait to try it?

    trudy
  • CassieR6
    CassieR6 Posts: 280 Member
    I am in the same boat! High school my weight was steady 120 or so (I am only 5'3, but broad from the ribs up thanks to my dad). Then I hit 165lbs after graduation, lost 35lbs. Got in a relationship went to about 145ish and then got pregnant and only gained about 25lbs. So after my daughter was born I was about 165ish I never really lost weight since then and she was born 3/2010. I got up to 177lbs this past year promised I would loose at least 15lbs before I got married on 8/22. I lost 6lbs then went back to my lazy ways and but back on the 6lbs and an additional 3lbs. I am now 180lbs and have 50lbs to loose. And I will tell you I too am finding it very difficult to turn things around. I want to have a baby in a year or so but not with 50lbs that I need to loose. Like someone has already said its great that you are realizing the problem and like me you just need to find the motivation and strength inside to make that change once and for all. You will get there I am sure of it. :smile: :flowerforyou:
  • walkinthedogs
    walkinthedogs Posts: 238 Member
    For 20 years I bounced between 190 and 210 (my highest weight not including pregnancy). And for years I have tried to figure out why I couldn't break that 190 barrier and would find myself right back up to 210 again. I even decided that's where my body was most comfortable (cop out). Here's what finally changed for me - I had to really dig deep to find out why I was sabotaging my own efforts to get to a healthier more comfortable weight and I had to learn about nutrition and exercise etc. for real, not the bullcrap info that is out there. Joining MFP was a huge help, especially the forums and listening to the educated people, as was a program called Recreate in 8 at my Rec Center as far as the education aspect. I have always been active and exercised so that wasn't really where my problem existed, mine was the eating part. I love to eat and I love to overeat. I had to get "real" with myself and I had to learn to portion myself like crazy because I can't/won't give up foods entirely. It really wasn't as hard as I thought it would be once I got the knowledge. The mental aspect was also hard, not sure I ever have totally gotten to the root of my mental block, but I think it mostly has to do with failure. Failure to keep the weight off, failure to not keep my eating under control, not really sure still. I have lost 30 lbs and would like to drop another 15 to 20 to get to my goal and then maintain. You can do this, but you have to get in the game mentally more than anything. How bad do you really want it? Then just do it.
  • onefortyone
    onefortyone Posts: 531 Member
    Yes, it is a 100% mental battle.

    I got up to 200 when I first got married, and that was my 'scary weight' so I worked to lose it. Lost 20lbs, felt great, decided to have a baby. Stopped logging/exercising throughout Thanksgiving & Christmas, etc so you know the weight crept back on. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, so I comfort ate. My second pregnancy, I started out at 198, very close to my 'scary weight'. Gained maybe 15-18lbs the whole pregnancy. Had confidence it was 90% baby weight and it'd be easy to lose.

    Then, my daughter died, due to blood clots in the cord, right before she was born. I left the hospital weighing 198lbs. But I was so devastated and didn't care about anything. I shot up to 210lbs before I could blink. Feeling full was my way to comfort myself. I hated my body for betraying me, so I didn't care what I looked like.

    But then, months later, still being stuck in maternity clothes, without my baby to show for it, was just adding to my depression. So now I'm doing something about it. I have yo-yo'ed between 202-209 for a couple of months because I am still struggling with the mental aspect of it. Sometimes I think I just can't do it - don't have it in me. I sabotage myself too. Having to stay strong & determined when I am at my weakest is hard.

    But MFP is great for motivation - for feeling like you CAN do it, for seeing other people who have done it already. For discovering there is no magical cure, except inside your own brain.

    I *know* we can get through the 200lb barrier and get out of the cycle of losing & re-gaining the pounds.

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