I'm My Worse Enemy

sohnshine
sohnshine Posts: 14
edited September 23 in Health and Weight Loss
So, I took this journey of my own accord... no New Year's resolution, no Wedding to get ready for, no Dares...Nothing. I just up and started walking one night after a rather large dinner, and kept on walking up and down my street each each night for 30 to 60mins. I thought about how I hate how I look and feel after a meal such as that. I thought about the heavy people that have been in my life, about my longest friend (how she lost 104lbs)... and then I THOUGHT OF MY CHILDREN. And it became motivation to go out each night, even in the blowing snow.
Well, I have been doing this for nearly a month, and I am starting to hit the proverbial brick wall. It doesn't help that my husband really doesn't care too much if I lose weight or stay the way I am. I DO have a handful of well wishers, and I have a strong motivation figure by hoping to live healthier my children and I. BUT all that isn't helping me, as I feel as if I am losing steam and determination. I am listening to that voice of doubt...and the few people that were behind me, aren't really wanting to talk to me about this. I really wish I had more people to talk to that are going through this, to for support and to talk about what we are going through together. As that voice is getting louder with more of my family and friends losing support.
Does anyone else here feel that same way? IS IT THIS HARD ON ANYONE ELSE?

Replies

  • Warmbloodwear
    Warmbloodwear Posts: 387 Member
    OH do I understand! My husband is no support bless his heart he just wants me to be happy. But he turns his nose up when I make a healthy anything and won't eat it. I think the fact that you know you need to do something is a start. And that you go out in blowing snow is amazing! Don't give up.
    I think about how I want to be. I want to run a mile I have never been able in my life to do this, but i have made the decision I want to live and not be out of breath!
    Hang in there you can do this!
  • kimi233
    kimi233 Posts: 271 Member
    We are in the same boat!! I have no support of anyone around me, and I honestly kinda threw in the towel somewhat over the holidays because I got tired of hearing people tell me negative things. But I'm back here going at it strong. The motivation honestly needs to come from inside you, it is only YOU that can make this work. Maybe start writing in a journal of how you feel everyday for a week, and go back to that and find your motivation?? Maybe try rewarding yourself with small mini goals, try a new work out, anything that will make you FEEL like you are doing the best thing is what you need, because you really are doing what's best, and I'm proud of you!! And WE ARE YOUR SUPPORT!! You can turn to us when ever you need!! Best of luck to you!!
  • Harshberger24
    Harshberger24 Posts: 155
    I love how real you were in this post. I am somewhat the same, but also different. I had to lose weight. I was almost 300lbs! I was always active and then when I hit my 20s I got pregnant and it all went downhill from there. I had ballooned up to a whopping 300lbs. Now I am at 218 and I have done this on my own accord. I wanted to look better. I was tired of being fat, the skinny girl was trapped inside me. However, my husband doesn't care what I look like. I mean I know he likes the skinnier me, but he says he is happy with me and loves me either way.. ooook so then I have my parents who are proud of me and tell me how good I am doing, but yet again no real motivation.Not a lot of my friends are trying to lose weight, especially those who are heavier than me. So I don't have any workout buddies or anything like that. I have been working out for a bit now, watching what I eat and I see NOTHING on the scale. I am getting frustrated! Maybe we can be each other's motivation???? However I do have to say, it sounds like you are doing this for very good reasons. How YOU feel and what YOU want. Not what someone else wants for you! Nice job and keep you the good work!
  • meggonkgonk
    meggonkgonk Posts: 2,066 Member
    Everyone does face their own set of challenges, no matter their reasons. I too just started one day, but I stopped, and started and so on and so forth. My challenges have been lessened in that I live away from most of my family (and people who knew me "fat"), but when I go home there's always a snarky comment, or a jealous friend. :brokenheart:

    So the short answer is, yea, its hard for everyone. If it weren't hard, everyone would do it. But that's what we're here for. If you fall down, we're here when the hubby or friends at home are not, to say "It's OK. Just start again."

    So It's OK. You can do this. Just start again. :flowerforyou:
  • tmcowan
    tmcowan Posts: 322 Member
    Once they see the progress that you're making, they'll not only become supportive but they'll want to now how you're doing it and join MFP also. Keep going, remember you're doing this for you, so you'll feel better. Keep up the good work!
  • cmyrick75
    cmyrick75 Posts: 187 Member
    It is hard when you don't have people at home to push you and encourage you to lose the weight! I do know how you feel. (My husband thinks I'm fine the way I am and he brought home a pack of fudge-stripe cookies last night!)
    Don't give up hope and remmeber why you started doing this in the first place! It's to mak YOU happier!! (along with your kids!) You can do it!
  • prettybrownround
    prettybrownround Posts: 362 Member
    I'm sure this is a daily struggle for most of us. It took us years to gain the weight but we want to lose it overnight. Its a process and its going to take hard work and dedication but at the end of the day the benefits we reap will be life changing. I am on her daily. Although I have ALOT of people around me that need to lose weight, none share my motivation right now so I turned to MFP. This site has helped me to stay focus and on the days I wanted to give up, I was able to come here for strength and motivation. Friend me if you like, and we can help each other.
  • jenblwr
    jenblwr Posts: 53
    I know where you're coming from too - my other half actually prefers me now to the way I was when we met - he says I was too skinny then - and all my family keep saying how much better I look now compared to how I used to....it appears that I'm the only person unhappy with my size/shape!

    You've done the hard part by taking that first step...and the fact that you still went out in the snow says a lot! Don't lose heart...(says the girl who was in tears the other evening as she was so fed up with failing to lose weight/change shape)...we CAN do this..and there are heaps of people here who know exactly how you feel!
  • CherLemos
    CherLemos Posts: 2
    I understand too. Like Warmbloodwear, my husband just wants me to be happy. Of course, he'd prefer the slimmer babe he first met. I'm doing this for me. I want to feel better about myself, fit into my clothes, and just feel good. Losing weight and getting in shape should be all about you. Just keep on truckin'. You'll push through that wall.

    Rock on! :happy:
  • loseit4ever
    loseit4ever Posts: 187 Member
    I know exactly how you feel. I have been there. At my old job, people would actually make fun of me for eating healthy, and though my husband is suppportive of whatever I do, he wouldn't care if I never lost a pound. That really made it hard for me to care. We all hit walls in this process, you just have to have a voice in your head telling you what you are set to gain by this, and it has to talk louder than the voices telling you to give up! I think that a lot of us talk about getting healthier without really believing what the consequences will be if we don't. You can do this!! Keep your head up! Feel free to add me as a friend if you like, I'd be glad to help support you. I tend to be my own worst enemy too!
  • BigBoneSista
    BigBoneSista Posts: 2,389 Member
    Fortunately I don't have that problem but I want to say that you do have support. That is us. The reason we are all here is because we have a common goal. We may come from different walks of life but we still want to give each other the motivation to succeed. In a way that helps us succeed.

    When you feel that self-doubt get at you come on here and read the post that others are posting. Respond to them the way you would want someone to respond to you in you were in their position. Truly put your heart into it. When you do that you can tend to your own wounds as well.

    As I'm typing this to you. I feel this in my gut. My words are talking to me as well firming my own foundation.

    Another suggestion I have for you is to get a notebook. Everyday write a sentence on why you are trying to make a change that day. Just for that day and just journal about that particular point. Then the next day re-read what you wrote and then pick another point and do the same thing.

    I want to see you become more self-motivated. Those that are around you may not show you they care or may not can give you the attention that you feel they should so you have to be able to depend on you.

    You can do it.
  • superwmn
    superwmn Posts: 936
    You can do this!

    You love yourself and your body enough to NEVER want to feel the way that huge meal made you feel. Not that eating is bad, but over eating is no way to love ourselves.

    You love yourself and your body by extension that you do not want to give up your daily movement. To move is the way our bodies express joy. Children can't help but jump around and dance. Our bodies also have this desire, but we forget how to connect with the joy of movement. If your daily walks are not bringing you joy, find a way to move your body that does. There is something that you love to do (if it isn't walking). Perhaps something that you used to love as a child? Loving the activities I partake in makes me SELFISH of my time devoted to physical activity. I love what I do and will never give it up.

    YOU CAN DO THIS AND WE'RE ALL HERE FOR YOU!!!

    Charmagne
  • Gennawest
    Gennawest Posts: 171
    I totally understand about doing it by yourself. My husband is the type of man that eats everything he wants, and does not gain a pound. I try to keep up with him, cause this girl likes to eat, and I end up gaining all the weight. Not cool. Nonetheless, I finally had it- enough was enough. And I embarked on this journey alone. I try to get my friends on the bandwagon- most of them are not having it. But let us be determined- with or without them. You can do it!
  • sohnshine
    sohnshine Posts: 14
    I want to thank everyone for your support... I had a bad weekend and almost threw in the towel, but I CAN'T. Not Now!!! I do not like how negative I have been feeling, but I think it is because part of me and those around me are not ready for me to change. But I can not make any more excuses... no more fits of bad moods, no more I can't do it, no more of this STUFF!!! I do need to change...
    CROSS YOUR FINGERS!!!!
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