New here and need help!

Okay so I'm 28 years old, and the mother of a 3 year old. I have finally reached my breaking point. I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time, and not having ANY energy at all to play with my son. I'm a stay at home mom, but he does go to preschool a few days a week. I really don't know where to start or what to do:( I'm just disgusted with myself all the time, and tired of starting over and over trying to lose weight, and then giving up after a week. How can I stick this out? Any advice on carb intake vs low or non fat or should I just stick to watching my calories? I am 5'4 and 220 lbs. Thanks for any advice!

Replies

  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
    Just log your calories. That is basically all you need to do. Eat some filling foods like soup, beans, peanut butter, cottage cheese. Everyone is supportive here. I was like you 5'4 and weighed about 208 at one time. You can do this, fifty pounds lighter feels good when you can wear your clothes and like to shop. If I can do it, you can to. Read the success stories and food dairies, this will help you.
  • pineapple_jojo
    pineapple_jojo Posts: 440 Member
    Good luck on your journey!!

    A lot of people find this a useful starting point: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    I just started out by using mfp to set my caloric intake and just ate within that, once I'd got confident that I could do that then I started thinking more about what those calories were made of.

    Mfp is a great tool, give it and yourself a chance; you can do this!!
  • jsherrill0613
    jsherrill0613 Posts: 233 Member
    Feel free to add me. I am 34 stay at home mom of 2 (10 yr old girl and 10 month old boy) and homeschool parent. I started MFP at the end of June weighing 220lbs and I am now down to 195 lbs. I am 5'2". I log on daily reading posts and responding. I use MFP for motivation to keep going as well. You can do this! I keep go along with MFP for my calorie intake and I exercise in my home 5 to 6 days a week. I do Zumba through youtube, dvds, and Wii. I also do walk away the pounds. I don't have a sitter and my husband works various shifts so it is hard for me to join a gym. I eat clean and not so clean haha! If I can do it then so can you! :smile:
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    You are here, and that's a good start! Yes, just estimate your calorie goal, and don't worry about macros (fat, carbs and protein). If you can cook, do that, if not, teach yourself. When you eat well, you will have more energy.
  • The only way to lose 20 pounds fast is to have a leg amputated! Do not starve yourself. Eat 3 meals a day and possibly a snack.
    Get as much sleep as you can, get up at the same time every day. Take a good adult multi vitamin. Concentrate on low fat and non fat dairy such as non fat greek yogurt with 1/2 cup fresh or frozen fruit, make yummy high protein low fat shakes using non fat greek yogurt, skim 1% or 2% milk, and 1/2 cup of fresh or frozen fruit. Portion size counts. Try avoiding refined carbs and allowing only a moderate percent of unrefined carbs into your food plan. Do not weigh more than once a week and do so at the same time of day and on the same scale every week. If you can do so every other week even better. Walk 10 minutes on day one even if you have to do so just around your yard. It is hard with a 3 year old. If you are not a single parent, get your partner to babysit while you take a short brisk walk in your neighborhood or can you put the child into a stroller that you can push? Extend your walk every day by a few minutes until you are walking an hour briskly each day. It is the single most important thing you can do to increase your energy.
    Avoid starchy veggies like peas and corn which should actually be considered a refined carb when cooked. PERSEVERE and if you make a mistake, just keep on trucking.....be completely honest when you enter your food into myfitnesspal. This has become a very valuable tool to keep track of my food, and exercise. and Good Luck on your journey. It is a journey......to get weight and keep it off so that you can better embrace and enjoy motherhood to the fullest extent and the rest of your life.
  • alhodge21
    alhodge21 Posts: 2 Member
    Thank you everyone for all the support and advice! I plan on holding off on exercise this time around, and try to focus more on my eating. I somehow always end up getting hurt, and that sets me back as well. I think I'm going to just start with eating as clean as possible and walking and then add more exercise in later.
  • DiamondRubyMom
    DiamondRubyMom Posts: 147 Member
    I was in your shoes about 6 years ago. Since then I've lost a total of 45 pounds. My advice is baby steps. Change your life and don't "diet." Start just by logging what you actually eat. If possible weigh and measure everything. Once this is a habit, look at your life. What would you like to change? Such as eating more fruit or veggies, decreasing processed sugar, decreasing salt, increasing fiber, or exercising more. I also recommend working up to 8 cups of water a day. I seem to lose more when I'm well hydrated.
    Focus on small changes you can stick to for life. Some good advice that often floats around on this site is to be good 80% of the time. Don't dwell on it when you fall off the wagon. Get up and get back on. Good luck to you!
  • DiamondRubyMom
    DiamondRubyMom Posts: 147 Member
    I disagree a little with Nearsightednonny. Don't cut naturally occurring fats likes in dairy products. Milk fat help you feel full longer and is not bad for you body. Eating fat does not make you fat. Eat too much of anything makes you fat.
  • missylee117
    missylee117 Posts: 66 Member
    First thing I did besides logging calories in and out was get myself a used stationary bike, its old but with a few adjustments I ride it and the weight came off, no it didn't happen over night but gaining doesn't happen that way either, and once it started it kept going, and the more I lost the better I felt and am keeping it off today also. I have much more energy than I ever did, I feel and look great and am very happy with the weight I lost. You can do this if you set your mind to do it, baby steps at first but if your determined you will do it. I keep my diary open always so if I have a cheat day its there, I drink lots of water, makes me feel really good, some do some don't, feel free to add me as a friend, and be honest with yourself and it will come off............... Good luck on your journey!
  • pineapple_jojo
    pineapple_jojo Posts: 440 Member
    Thank you everyone for all the support and advice! I plan on holding off on exercise this time around, and try to focus more on my eating. I somehow always end up getting hurt, and that sets me back as well. I think I'm going to just start with eating as clean as possible and walking and then add more exercise in later.

    Walking is great exercise. I started out doing 15 minutes at a time and built up from there. Just because it's not running jumping or lifting doesn't mean it's not legitimate exercise! Go for it!!
  • eat clean. adding 1 piece of fruit a day was the first change I made in my life. The second was limiting sugary beverages like soda. In my opinion it is better to make small long term changes life long even. Be patient with yourself. Eliminating particular foods cold turkey never worked for me but learning to control when and how much I ate of it was hard but more manageable. The most effective thing for me is finding healthy food that I like even more than the unhealthy food. It takes some time on the internet searching and botching recipes but it works! For example switching past noodle lasagna with zucchini lasagna(no pasta).

    Lots of water and Unsweetened Teas. Lemon and Lime when you need a little extra flavor.

    Good luck.
  • GiveMeCoffee
    GiveMeCoffee Posts: 3,556 Member
    Reasonable calorie deficit, log your food accurately and honestly. Learn portion control, moderation, and patience. Find an activity you enjoy doing. Because it needs to be repeated have patience. You don't have to cut out any food groups, you can eat what you always have just less of it. Any changes you think of making, make sure you ask yourself... if it's something you can do forever, if it's not rethink the change. Also, don't try to be perfect go for consistent. 80% good choice and don't worry about the other 20%

    Read these they will help:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1234699-logging-accurately-step-by-step-guide?hl=logging+step+guide

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1235566-so-you-re-new-here?hl=so+you're+new+here

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    Good luck
  • GiveMeCoffee
    GiveMeCoffee Posts: 3,556 Member
    eat clean. adding 1 piece of fruit a day was the first change I made in my life. The second was limiting sugary beverages like soda. In my opinion it is better to make small long term changes life long even. Be patient with yourself. Eliminating particular foods cold turkey never worked for me but learning to control when and how much I ate of it was hard but more manageable. The most effective thing for me is finding healthy food that I like even more than the unhealthy food. It takes some time on the internet searching and botching recipes but it works! For example switching past noodle lasagna with zucchini lasagna(no pasta).

    Good luck.

    What is eating clean??? Why isn't pasta healthy??

    OP don't think of food as good or bad, it's food.
  • MinimalistShoeAddict
    MinimalistShoeAddict Posts: 1,946 Member
    Welcome to MFP and good luck!

    I see that other members have already offered you some great advice.

    Log everything and stay active. Progress will come in time
  • 226Muriel
    226Muriel Posts: 138 Member
    Your posting is soooo familiar...Tired of starting over. Personally, part of my program is to list anything that touches my lips. Posting my food intake early in the a.m. gives me direction for the day...I must send to my sponsor and that also keeps me grounded to the commitment of the day.

    I noticed your conerns about carb and etc...as you list you foods, you will note that the calories, carbs, fats are right there...sometimes I must adjust my daily intake if carb level is too high.

    In closing, through the years I have tried numerous programs and this is the only one that works for me.

    Stay focused...
  • _Zardoz_
    _Zardoz_ Posts: 3,987 Member
    Reasonable calorie deficit, log your food accurately and honestly. Learn portion control, moderation, and patience. Find an activity you enjoy doing. Because it needs to be repeated have patience. You don't have to cut out any food groups, you can eat what you always have just less of it. Any changes you think of making, make sure you ask yourself... if it's something you can do forever, if it's not rethink the change. Also, don't try to be perfect go for consistent. 80% good choice and don't worry about the other 20%

    Read these they will help:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1234699-logging-accurately-step-by-step-guide?hl=logging+step+guide

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1235566-so-you-re-new-here?hl=so+you're+new+here

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    Good luck
    Just follow the links and keep it simple.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    Analyse yourself and understand why you want the change.
    Get friends.
    Read and learn from the forums about how to establish:
    Calorie deficit accurately and log it.
    Nutrition about what you eat and compare it to previous diets.
    Incorporate some exercise.
    If you get stuck or lost then ask. Read the posts of losers for some inspiration.
    Have faith in yourself you cna make the changes needed.

    Bet everyone has told you that already.
  • Megais
    Megais Posts: 28 Member
    Having friends on here is good to inspire and motivate you. You can learn as you go, but start with a calorie deficit and log everything. Add me if you want :)
  • All that I mean by eating clean is non processed foods, no fast food. Food should go bad or mold. Whole grain pasta is good but white pasta doesn't really have much nutritional value other than empty carbs and tasting good. The refining process strips the grains of there bran and nutrition. Lasagna is a high calorie food usually and making it with vegetables instead of pasta brings the calorie count way down.

    Did I answer your question?
  • dejavuohlala
    dejavuohlala Posts: 1,821 Member
    you need to log all that you eat and drink on the food diary on mfp, this will calculate the calorie intake you should have each day it will also tell you how much carbs, protein etc you have eaten and if you ahev overdone on any of them you can work towards cutting them down, ahev an open diary so any friends that you request can help you with your diary and what you are eating . Get some good supportive friends on here and make sure that you also support them too. Good luck with your journey.

    Good luck with your journey and i hope:smile: you get started soon.

    Carol
  • justmedjn
    justmedjn Posts: 1 Member
    you got this!
  • radmack
    radmack Posts: 272 Member
    Thank you everyone for all the support and advice! I plan on holding off on exercise this time around, and try to focus more on my eating. I somehow always end up getting hurt, and that sets me back as well. I think I'm going to just start with eating as clean as possible and walking and then add more exercise in later.

    That's a great way to start. As time goes by you can add more in if you choose to. One tip I would share as you start out is to find a way to satisfy your cravings in a small way.this will help you stay within your calorie limit. For example, I absolutely love ice cream , so I budget some into my day. I buy single serving items too.
  • sowdenb
    sowdenb Posts: 61 Member
    Thank you! This post was very inspirational! I am on day 5 and at times I question if this will work, Have been tracking cals and exercise...3 lbs. down!
  • mizroxy13
    mizroxy13 Posts: 466 Member
    Definitely change just one small thing at a time.

    It helps for me to not look at the overwhelming task of how many total pounds to lose, but just one pound a week. I find it way easier to stick with seven days, than a year or two. I just look at my one pound goal ahead of me for the week and stick to my macros and take walks. I've lost consistently that way. Also, be 100% honest with yourself and your logging and do not do any single thing that you will not be able to sustain for the rest of your life. You're here to change your health and fitness for good, not just short term. Therefore, if you can't cut out carbs or sweets for eternity, don't do it now. Just find a way to work it into your macros for the day. It's not the food, it's the behavior around the food. Basically, what @radmack said! Best of luck to you and never ever give up! Every small change is a success!
  • Ratches
    Ratches Posts: 52 Member
    I say one day and one meal at a time, small steps. Read some motivational stuff on this site - try some challenges

    With exercise - when I am not motivated - I remember what my sister always says - get on the treadmill or what ever for 15 minutes and give yourself permission to get off...typically by then you start feeling good and keep going


    This is not an all or nothing journey - just because you ate a box of kraft dinner for lunch does not mean you have to fall off the wagon - just make a change at the next meal.

    Logging makes you super aware of what is not the best choice and assist with portions. The weight did not go on over night nor will it fall off overnight

    It is not easy for me either - but we are all here for each other

    Best of luck
  • Ratches
    Ratches Posts: 52 Member
    love the whole amputation thought - that is funny and so true
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    I've been exactly where you are right now, and yes the feeling sucks!! But your in the right place!, you can do this!! First of all, you don't have to cut out anything!!! I never cut carbs, fats or anything!! Its just not necessary. All you need to get started is a food scale. ( read the sexy pants thread that someone posted above) just Learn how to weigh and measure your foods, and log them accurately. And later on after you have figured all that out, you can learn about hitting your macros, And finding an exercise routine that you enjoy. Best of luck to you!!! :-)
  • sowdenb
    sowdenb Posts: 61 Member
    This is helpful...thanks!