Am so discouraged and disappointed in myself...

I had weight struggles for close to 13 years before trying out MFP - would lose 5 or 10 or 15 pounds a bunch of times and then gain 20 or 30. What motivated me this time was life-threatening health problems. It sounds cliche, but I decided giving up was not an option. Sure, it's been hard and painful at times to make changes, but the alternative is going back to my old lifestyle and that would be even worse, so I refuse even to consider it. The main thing is just to keep going when you slip up, and remind yourself of all the reasons you want this. After a while, it will feel like second nature and you may find you don't even enjoy overeating all that much anymore.

Stop focusing on how much you need to lose overall and just start focusing on what you can achieve today. And then you do the same thing tomorrow. And before you know it, a year of doing your best from day to day has you weighing in 80 pounds lighter. That's what works for me anyway. I just do the very best I can TODAY. Tomorrow I'll try to do my very best again. And if have a day where I wasn't at my best and could have been better...no worries...because I get a brand new chance to be my best tomorrow.

That's what I love about MFP (well, one of many things). Every day is a fresh, clean, brand-new start. It makes this feel so much easier!

I really understand how you feel, I tend to go through the same thing and agree with everyone about takeing it slow..Dont beat yourself up about little things and just keep pushing forward and reach out for support.Iam here..;)

You can do this! First of all, you need to quit being so hard on yourself. Take it one day at a time - if you mess up one day, just start over and be successful the next. It is good to have an overall long term goal, but I have been more successful with short term goals (5 lbs at a time). I feel that incorporating exercise was the key to my success. I started couch to 5K and did that for awhile which really helped me lose at first. Now I run and cycle a few times a week and try to do better and set personal goals each workout. At first I couldn't run 3 minutes with out stopping. Now I can go 45! You can too! Every few weeks I take a little time off from my diet, but I only give myself a pass for a few days. Then I begin again. Feel proud when you lose, but also feel proud when you just maintain your weight. It is an amazing feeling to be able to leave the plus size section and wear regular sizes again, and it is definitely worth all the hard work it takes. You are here, and that is an amazing way to start. Good luck!

How have you been approaching this in the past?

Ohhh my dear,well let's see..... my friend,need willpower,where can you find that,you your dear precious child.that's where!!! You need to stop and think,what it will be like not to share those precious memories with your child,ask yourself,do you want to be in a wheel chair?do you want to be on oxygen,no you don't.you know why,well your so much better than that,do you know how I know,I've been there,I was almost 300 lbs, I couldn't play with my children,my son was obese,he was 2 years old and I was literally killing him,and myself,I couldn't run,maybe 10 feet then had to stop to take a breath.I hated myself,how could I do this to me,my son needed me and I couldn't be there and do things with him I was worthless to him, I didn't go to town,I was embarrassed,never had friends,I wore only sweats,and I continued to eat, I hope I can help you on your journey,its going to be rough,but I known you can do it,view my diary,and I hope this will help.I'm here for ya......you can do it ........I'll pray for ya god bless.

I dont know how you feel about weight lose surgery but ive been struggling with my weight all my life lose it gain it with every child i would gain more at my highest i was 278 lbs after yrs of trying to lose it and keep it off and failing i had surgery the vsg is what i had in 7 months ive lost 82 lbs i wish i could say its been easy well it kinda has been but its alot to get use to alot of changes any way give it a thought talk to your doctor do some reasers

h. It has been a life saver for me.:happy:

Maybe it might help to look at this a different way. You have a one year old and it sounds like you take very good care of her and her needs. I am sure you feed her well and make sure that she gets her play time etc Maybe treat yourself like you treat your daughter? Make sure that you get fed well for your needs, make sure that you get some "you time" by getting in some fun activity, do you get what I mean? Treat yourself with the same level of care that you treat your child. Sure, it sometimes means saying "no" for your own good, but you really care, right?

Hi

All you have to do is lose 1 pound. 105 times. Thats it.

Not all at once.

That kick to get it done comes from inside....

The fact you are reaching out and being honest about your struggle is a sign of growth and progress. Take comfort in that.

The difference between MFP and everything else? If you adopt the mindset that its a lifestyle change & not a diet, the rest will fall into place.

The past is done. The future will be here soon enough. Try and focus on today & today only. Its all we have to work with.

4 months ago, I weighed 312 pounds. I woulda been dead in 5 years if I hadn't made this commitment. All signs were pointing that way.

Just a few things the MFP tribe and common sense has taught me:

1) This is a thing you DO, not a definition of who you ARE. Just like laundry. Take the emotion out of it wherever possible. I cannot stress this enough.

2) My approach? This is a lifestyle change, not a diet. So there is no finite number of days that I am trying to get to. I will be logging in and logging food for the rest of my life, because:

a) This program works
b) I don't want to die young and I was headed that direction

3) Try to remember - We are the results of the choices we make every day, whether those choices are good or bad. Make as many good choices as you can, and the ship will stay steady. At the end of the day, we are the man in the mirror. We are accountable to ourselves and no one else. We can help you with getting there, but the doing is up to you. Leave rationalizing at the door, and continue to be honest with yourself. Its the only path to long term success

Cal tracking is considered a good choice (whether boring or not) because it tells you where you really are (just like your check register tells you your balance) - remember to be honest with yourself all the time. Ultimately, you will achieve that which you are seeking much sooner.

Knowing that plus the support I get from my MFP buds make enough difference that Ive lost 38 in 118 days without doing anything stupid. You just find what works and then hammer the crap out of it, staying in the present while doing so.

If you will stay committed to this, your MFP tribe will commit to helping. Why? Because that's what we do. And we have ALL been there.

4 months ago, walking was a chore.

Last weekend, I walked 6 miles. And loved it

You got this.. and we got you.

FR headed your way

Fsunami

I've been where you are. You didn't gain it overnight. It took many small mistakes to build up the weight gain you are experiencing. In the same way, you must take many right steps in the right direction in order to lose the weight. I'll share with you what I did. First, I swore off my most addictive foods one by one: potato chips, chocolate, ice cream, etc. I would do it one a month until I didn't eat them at all. Then I would only eat at meal times, nothing in between and nothing after dinner. I would drink like a fish (water, tea, etc.), but I wouldn't eat.Then I paid attention to portion sizes and only ate one serving of whatever I was having. Then I cut way back on breads, pasta, potatoes. All of this fits into a paragraph, but I did it over a span of two years. One thing I did from the beginning though was walk every day without fail. I set a time of day, it was lunchtime for me, and I walked no matter what the weather or whether I felt like it or not. I walked. I went from 183 pounds ro 125 pounds. My life was changed. Then I had to keep up that lifestyle and not fall into my old habits. You can do it. You just have to determine to take the right steps and discipline yourself to accomplish what you really want to do.

I skimmed so sorry if this has already been said...

1) Think about why this hasn't worked for you in the past and find another way. A friend of mine asked me "how come you gained the weight back" after a semi-successful year on Atkins and at first I blew it off but couldn't get it out of my head so I gave it some thought. Figured out that for me (and I think many others) the problem is deprivation. Every DIET out there includes giving something up - carbs, treats, fats, etc. - and those usually don't work long term. So inead of giving up on certain foods, I cut back and/or found healthier alternatives.

2) Be patient with yourself. This is not The Biggest Loser ranch, this is the real world. Give this process time. Pick one small goal to work towards every week and concentrate on it until you get it down pat then work towards the next. Go back to basics if you have to. I had a major backslide this year and did just that. Three weeks ago I jumped back on the wagon but didn't try to do everything at once. I just tracked the first week then I tried staying more in my goals the next week, then I cut down on take-out the week after, then I planned more meals and snacks, etc etc. My clothes are fitting much better!

3) I find it helps to fill in those spots on your profile about why you want to get in shape and what your inspirations are. And try to find deeper reasons than to look better for a certain event or certain people. Not to say they're not valid reasons but in my experience, that kind of thing just doesn't last as long because what happens once that event is over? Do it for you, for your health, mobility, etc.

Good luck!

Have you considered finding a good therapist? Therapy can help when we are stuck repeating the same unhealthy behaviors over and over again. I found it very helpful in changing my thoughts and behavior patterns early in my process, and consider it a powerful tool to help attain goals and make meaningful change.

2) Be patient with yourself. This is not The Biggest Loser ranch, this is the real world.

This is so true! I've always been a fan of Biggest Loser and other similar weight loss shows. They give us such warped ideas that we can lose big numbers every week and losing a pound a week is pathetic in comparison! These people are working out ALL day so it is not realisitc for us to lose weight so quickly!

Stop focusing on how much you need to lose overall and just start focusing on what you can achieve today. And then you do the same thing tomorrow. And before you know it, a year of doing your best from day to day has you weighing in 80 pounds lighter. That's what works for me anyway. I just do the very best I can TODAY. Tomorrow I'll try to do my very best again. And if have a day where I wasn't at my best and could have been better...no worries...because I get a brand new chance to be my best tomorrow.

Listen to her!!

I feel trapped inside my body, like my mind is working against me and my body is suffering. I am so desperate to feel good again. My ultimate goal weight is 140 pounds (I am 5'10) so I have way more than 100 pounds to lose. I have at least 105 pounds to lose to reach the highest end of a healthy BMI for me and 65 pounds to lose to get to a weight at which I start to feel comfortable in my skin and can shop at regular stores. It seems like so much. I don't think I can do it alone.

Why is your goal weight 140 lbs? At 5'10", I would think that you should be more along the lines of 150 lbs or higher. Try starting with realistic short term goals and not look at the long term. Try being healthier, and not think of just being thinner. Switch out little unhealthy things in your diet (like grilling vs. frying, more veggies, etc.) and slowly build upon that with activity (like the couch to 5K program). The weight didn't go on overnight, and neither should it come off overnight. A lifestyle change and perseverance is the only way it will stay off in the long run.

I agree with this. We can't see your diary, so we can't see whether you're approach is perhaps too aggressive. If you are hovering around a daily calorie intake of 1200 calories, you may not be getting enough food to properly fuel your body and, after awhile, your body will want/need more food, which leads to binging.
Try setting your goals to lose 1/2 lb a week or 1 lb a week. Don't restrict your diet too much, eat what you normally would and make a few healthy substitutions. That way, your change of lifestyle won't seem so drastic.
I'm also 5'10" and would not be able to get to 140 lbs without becoming ill and look extremely underweight. I suggest perhaps moderating your goal to about the 150-160 range. The right weight varies for everyone. You'll know when you reach the weight that's right for you by talking with your doctor and observing your body in the mirror. "Flabby" does not necessarily mean "lose more weight", it can mean "do some toning exercises".
Take this slowly so that its more sustainable. Don't rush. You can do this.