Afraid of the scale....

goodwinnumbers
goodwinnumbers Posts: 12
in Motivation and Support
I've been back at this now for about 2 weeks. My son & I get up every weekday morning at 5:30 & work out. I'm feeling awesome, I'm eating *pretty well (drinking too much for sure!) and my clothes are fitting better. I can actually see more definition & thinning around my midsection.
However - I can't seem to muster up the courage to weigh myself. I have been struggling with my weight for the past 6 years. Prior to that, I was very athletic & had no weight issues. Then I found out I had breast cancer. Two surgeries & some radiation & walah - I am FINE! Except that I gained about 40 pounds and wine became my best friend and coping mechanism. As I've struggled with my weight for the last 6 years, I have not seen the scale move below 170. I will lose a few pounds & then gain them back but I haven't been below 170.
I'm terrified to even get on the scale because I feel like I'm doing well. I feel like I'm making progress. But if I get on the scale and it hasn't moved, I'm going to be devastated.
Anyone else have this problem?

Replies

  • my_2_cents
    my_2_cents Posts: 109 Member
    You're saying you had the courage to face up to cancer, but can't step on a stupid box in your bathroom? I think you can do it when you want to, make a decision and do it.

    If you want to chicken out, then don't look at the number, let your son look at the number and he's your way of being accountable without you having to see the number, just swear him to secrecy and then you can ask for the numbers when you're ready.

    I weigh in every morning just to see where I am. Obviously not every morning is a loss as there are plenty of factors that don't allow it to average out to a loss, but over the course of the week I'm generally down my target amount.
  • Roughgalaxy
    Roughgalaxy Posts: 219 Member
    The scale is a good tool but really what matters is inches and how you FEEL. Clothes are fitting better, that's an important sign. I would only really encourage you to hit the scale soon so that you know where you are starting from. Those before and after pictures and measurements can have a HUGE impact on you staying the course of fitness once you reach your goal.
  • mcpostelle
    mcpostelle Posts: 418 Member
    I wouldn't put it as harshly as my_2_cents, but they do have a point. Moving on, if the scale does bother you - measure! Especially when you're working out. Muscles weigh more than fat; so, the only way to get a more accurate account of your weight is by measuring. When I get discouraged by the scale. I measure and look in awe at how small my waist is getting. I hope you can face this fear though. It's just a number, it does NOT define you. You are amazing. :flowerforyou: :drinker:
  • katdabomb85
    katdabomb85 Posts: 20 Member
    I just had a horror story morning with the scales, got some new ones cuz mine where broken and I'm a stone heavier that i thought. After the initial shock of getting on them it gets easier, don't let what they read get you down if you do t like what you see. You'll be fine, you might even be way less than you thought. But if it's bad news f**k it. As long as you feel better who cares. That's a valuable lesson I've had to learn today :0)
  • mamasmaltz3
    mamasmaltz3 Posts: 1,111 Member
    Who cares what the scale says? You said you feel great and your clothes are fitting better. Why not take pictures and measure yourself instead of weighing yourself? I very seldom weigh myself, but not because I am scared to. It is because it no longer dictates much of anything to me. It's just a datapoint that has very little to say about my fitness level or what kind of person I am. I exercise because it makes me feel good inside and out. Make fitness goals unrelated to the scale. Focus on being more not less.
  • Debmal77
    Debmal77 Posts: 4,770 Member
    Hello OP. I have had the same health issues and put on weight for the same reason. Make sure you log everything properly. Calorie deficit and some exercise is the only way to go. I don't like the scale also. Try not to worry about the scale for now. I use a measuring tape and measure every couple of weeks. Clothes are getting loose. This is a great site with great people. Good luck and add me if you like.
  • my_2_cents
    my_2_cents Posts: 109 Member
    I wouldn't put it as harshly as my_2_cents, but they do have a point. Moving on, if the scale does bother you - measure! Especially when you're working out. Muscles weigh more than fat; so, the only way to get a more accurate account of your weight is by measuring. When I get discouraged by the scale. I measure and look in awe at how small my waist is getting. I hope you can face this fear though. It's just a number, it does NOT define you. You are amazing. :flowerforyou: :drinker:

    I wasn't trying to be harsh, I was trying to point out how much courage it took to face up to cancer and win, and how the scale is just a stupid box in the bathroom........I think the op has enough courage to do this, just needs to stop building the scale up to be this huge thing. Just hop on and see what happens.
  • odywithaj
    odywithaj Posts: 53 Member
    feel the fear , and do it anyways :)
  • goodwinnumbers
    goodwinnumbers Posts: 12
    I didn't think you were being harsh. I tell myself the same thing all the time. Truth is though - I wasn't brave. I totally fell apart when I had cancer. They operated once & they messed - operated on the wrong side of the right breast so they had to do it again - ended up removing about 1/3 of it. I completely broke down. I keep waiting to stop feeling like a complete *kitten* - especially when I see other people handle things with grace that I don't seem to have.

    **** it - gonna weigh myself tomorrow morning!
  • my_2_cents
    my_2_cents Posts: 109 Member
    Good job....and I have a job where I get to see how people deal with trauma every single day. I assure you that those people who appear composed and graceful are falling apart when no one is looking. You are not any weaker than anyone else.

    Saying screw it and getting on the scale is the only way to get past that first time...it will get easier after that. It won't always be a lower number than you saw the time before, but this is about trends, not single data points. As others have pointed out, the way you feel is all that matters here, and you already said you're feeling great and your clothes fit better.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    It's just a tool.

    That's it. Don't give it more power than it has- it's a waste of energy and misplaced emotions.

    It's JUST. a tool. And the number it shows you does not reflect who you are as a person.

    Good luck tomorrow!
  • srslybritt
    srslybritt Posts: 1,618 Member
    Honey, if you can face cancer and kick its *kitten*, the bathroom scale ain't got nothin' on you.

    If you don't want to use the scale, take measurements until you see progress, THEN incorporate the scale if you want to. Stick to your goals. Just instead of pounds lost for you, it will be inches.
  • Archerychickge
    Archerychickge Posts: 606 Member
    Don't get on it until you are 10000000% sure it has dropped. Then it won't seem so scary.

    Sounds like since your clothes are fitting better that you have probly lost weight already. I would do some measurements now though. That way you can track your progress with something besides the scale... afterall, we all know scales are dirty liars anyway! lol
  • Snugglebunny217
    Snugglebunny217 Posts: 34
    I am completely and totally terrified of my scale. For a different reason than yours, but still.

    I weigh myself every morning.

    Some mornings my heart is beating like a hummingbird. Other times I feel calm about it. But I get up and do it first thing, before my brain has a chance to kick in and give me all the reasons why I don't need to do this.

    Right now, your weight on that scale has power over you. It's easy to build up a molehill into a mountain when you don't have good perception. And since you are intentionally blinding yourself, you have no perspective. You don't know if you have a molehill or a mountain on your hands, so you are envisioning Everest.

    The truth is never as scary as our imaginations can make it.

    You can do this. No matter what that scale says, you will have the power - because you have the knowledge. No Everest here.
  • beanrider
    beanrider Posts: 66 Member
    Don't worry about the number on the scale, that's what I pay the doctor to do...........her job to keep track of that data, not mine. If you feel good, your clothes fit better, you are happy with what you see and how you feel, then use that as your "scale" and chuck the other one!!
  • alska
    alska Posts: 300 Member
    I'm afraid of the scale, too! Happy to see I am not the only one.
  • Prilla04
    Prilla04 Posts: 174 Member
    Take the power away from the scale and give it to yourself. "The scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship to gravity." It can't measure all of your workouts, all of the muscle you have gained and all of the cheeseburgers you have passed up. It's just a tool. Put it in it's place!
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,961 Member
    You don't need a scale at all! Just do this thing based on how you look and feel! Maybe with a tape measure if you're comfortable with that. In the end, a number is just a number :)

    I didn't have a scale for years when I was young and it was all fine!
  • farmers_daughter
    farmers_daughter Posts: 1,632 Member
    I fear the bathtub drain because I'm afraid creepy crawlies will come out if there isn't water going down it.

    Eh....step on the scale. And then realize it's a number. My trainer who is the same height as me but built like a female brick *kitten* house weighs the exact same as me, and I'm pretty sure I've got around 35-40% if not more body fat. I'm fluffy.

    So what. It's how your clothes fit that matters.

    the only reason I freak out about the number is because there's $400 on the line if I don't pass my wellness screening at work, and they go by the stupid *kitten* number on the scale.
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
    I didn't think you were being harsh. I tell myself the same thing all the time. Truth is though - I wasn't brave. I totally fell apart when I had cancer. They operated once & they messed - operated on the wrong side of the right breast so they had to do it again - ended up removing about 1/3 of it. I completely broke down. I keep waiting to stop feeling like a complete *kitten* - especially when I see other people handle things with grace that I don't seem to have.

    **** it - gonna weigh myself tomorrow morning!

    That's the spirit. I realized (yesterday actually, so bear with me this is kind of fresh) that I am constantly trying to control how other see me. Even in my closest relationships. It has destroyed so many relationships because I simply cannot let my guard down. It's on the verge of destroying my relationship with the love of my life. I too keep waiting until to stop feeling like a fraud and all these other crazy insecure things... but I can't let it ruin even one more thing in my life. So I made a choice to stop being scared of talking to my SO about how I feel. I mean if I can't tell him after 2 years what's going on in my mind, then when can I? And I also decided to stop fearing being anything but 100% put together in front of my friends. That one will take a little work, but I will get there.

    You get on that scale tomorrow come hell or high water, you hear me?
  • FinFoxPT
    FinFoxPT Posts: 106 Member
    Don't weigh yourself then.

    It makes no difference what the scales say.

    Lets it go and be happy.

    You're doing great keep it up!
  • _Zardoz_
    _Zardoz_ Posts: 3,987 Member
    The number of the scales can be useful it's data that can tell you of progress but it's not set in stone and varies for many reasons and not all of them due to your actual weight. Part of the issue you seem to have is you seem to think that the scales is the only measure of progress. I measure progress in many ways from How far/fast I can run to how my clothes fit and how I feel. The scales are just another number in this but as with all this information they do not tell the whole story. You can have success without the scales but I would if I was you try and get over this because no matter what people say the number on the scale is an important piece of data to aid you in getting healthier. So weigh yourself if it's not changed there could be many reasons from water retention to just one of those things but you know you've made progress in other ways

    Good luck

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