How to tell someone you dont want to give

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24

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  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    :laugh:
  • lizzybathory
    lizzybathory Posts: 229
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    I bike commute - it's never a problem, haha. Also, this is something my husband has admitted to loving about bike commuting. You never have to deal with logistics, or meeting up with someone to ride with them, etc.
  • Keepcalmanddontblink
    Keepcalmanddontblink Posts: 718 Member
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    Give her a ride. Fart a lot on the way home. Try to hold her hand. Listen to nothing but 2 Live Crew and Yanni. Drive 20 mph on the highway in the fast lane. Have phone sex with your husband or boyfriend on your cell phone while she's in the car.

    Lots of ways to make sure she doesn't ask again.
    +1
  • cowbellsandcoffee
    cowbellsandcoffee Posts: 2,975 Member
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    Just say no.

    You don't have to explain why.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    Give her a ride. Fart a lot on the way home. Try to hold her hand. Listen to nothing but 2 Live Crew and Yanni. Drive 20 mph on the highway in the fast lane. Have phone sex with your husband or boyfriend on your cell phone while she's in the car.

    Lots of ways to make sure she doesn't ask again.


    Do people generally find this behavior rude and off putting? Maybe this is why no one ever wants to ride with me.
  • cdoesthehula
    cdoesthehula Posts: 141 Member
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    Ride a bike into work. Or buy a two seater, and an enormous dog.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    Give her a ride and then hit on her.
  • dMonster01
    dMonster01 Posts: 214 Member
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    Just start going in super early for a while.
  • Bucky83
    Bucky83 Posts: 1,194 Member
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    I have been in this exact position.

    I used to drive to and from university years ago which, if not taking the detour, would only take me just under half an hour. With the detour, it would take me 45 minutes to an hour depending on the traffic. I didn't mind doing it every now and then but it got to a point that it was at least twice a week, if not more.

    I finally bit the bullet and said that it was making it difficult for me to get home at a reasonable time due to peak hour traffic...etc.

    She stopped talking to me for a good month or so.

    I didn't need that friendship, if someone was going to take advantage of me.

    It's now several years down the track and we sometimes message each other on Facebook, but there's no drama any more. She's grown up a bit, I think.
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
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    I have been in this exact position.

    I used to drive to and from university years ago which, if not taking the detour, would only take me just under half an hour. With the detour, it would take me 45 minutes to an hour depending on the traffic. I didn't mind doing it every now and then but it got to a point that it was at least twice a week, if not more.

    I finally bit the bullet and said that it was making it difficult for me to get home at a reasonable time due to peak hour traffic...etc.

    She stopped talking to me for a good month or so.

    I didn't need that friendship, if someone was going to take advantage of me.

    It's now several years down the track and we sometimes message each other on Facebook, but there's no drama any more. She's grown up a bit, I think.

    I am glad everything worked out in the end for you:flowerforyou:
  • FrozenSongBird
    FrozenSongBird Posts: 3,892 Member
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    I would just say sorry but no.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
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    Sure, can my mother in law stay with you this weekend?
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    NRNR!!

    Seriously though, if you arent comfortable just saying no, say you have errands or need to make a personal call in the car on the way home.
  • lacurandera1
    lacurandera1 Posts: 8,083 Member
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    I would tell someone that my commute time was a time for me to decompress, meditate and prepare myself mentally for the tasks ahead& of me at home.

    I think this would be a particularly good excuse for someone with children. A commute could very well be your only quiet time.of the day.
  • leadslinger17
    leadslinger17 Posts: 297 Member
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    Give her a ride. Fart a lot on the way home. Try to hold her hand. Listen to nothing but 2 Live Crew and Yanni. Drive 20 mph on the highway in the fast lane. Have phone sex with your husband or boyfriend on your cell phone while she's in the car.

    Lots of ways to make sure she doesn't ask again.

    haha... I like the crank up some obnoxious music idea... and sing/dance along
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    Maybe it's because I'm old at 37 and live in a place without reliable public transit...but I can't imagine working with people at this stage in life who tried to mooch rides. WTH.

    If it happened though, I'd probably be so surprised that I'd give the person a ride...but then I'd carefully & quickly set some boundaries. After giving someone a one time "emergency" ride, I would probably say something about having a lot of outside plans and interests, so I just did not have the spare time to go extra places before or after work.

    Do you love your job? If not - I would maybe find something else, where coworkers would have reliable transportation of their own.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    Whenever I have taken rides with people I would pay them, and also I would meet them at their home or a train station near them. And never a daily kind of thing. And I would never get upset if they couldn't, and would never expect it.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
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    If she's taking you out of your way, even just a few miles, ask for gas money. Gas and wear and tear on your car, not to mention your time for the detour, all cost money. Make sure the amount is more than bus fare. I doubt she'd ask for rides again.
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
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    I have been offered a rides as well before I had a car and I would gladly accept but I never expected rides or ask for one .I think there is difference being offered a ride and expecting one as if you are entitled to one. Sometimes if offer a ride as favour to someone, they start expecting one based on my experience

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