It's been so difficult to get my body back

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NoghtAngel
NoghtAngel Posts: 1
in Introduce Yourself
I suffer from severe Bipolar. depression. weight of 120-135lbs for years after having 4 sons. Married 26 yrs.
I worked hard training horses, a soccer mom. Always active on a 7 acre yard.
Being Bipolar has been my life 2006 injured my back after a horse attack, 4years later I was very sick, they found a 5lb tumour on my ovaries. I weighed 127lbs. Next 2 years were good. Till I had 2 accidents, hard falls, twisting my spine.
I got depressed, where my doctor changed my anti depressives to lamotrigine. 25 mg,
I gorged on food couldn't stop, with water retention I gained over 50 lbs in 4weeks.
I can't loses it. 2 years of pain I have fibromyalgia, and waiting for a surgery date to fix my back.
I need help.
My thyroid was low, I can't stay healthy,
The weight is hard on my back. I just have to lose some please help.me. Right now I weight over 200lbs.
No self esteem, my clothes have gone from sm to XL. I hate my life I hide I need something to give me hope.

Replies

  • cookeylady
    cookeylady Posts: 147 Member
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    You can do this. You have people that will be here to support you and help you.You made the first step and that was to reach out. you can add me. I will check in with you and help support you. We can do this together :)
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
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    Well you've come to the right place, and made a good decision to take some control.

    I'm sorry things have been so tough for you recently - and I hope you can find things other than weight loss to give you hope, too.
  • russ7219
    russ7219 Posts: 3
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    Be encouraged. Change your "self-talk", the words you say to yourself. Instead of I can't do this, state I can do this. Use positive statements, affirmations to yourself every day. I believe in a "Big God" and I know that he cares for us all. He cares for you too. Ask Him to help you and He will. Everyday when you wake up you've been given a new day and a new chance. You cannot change things overnight, but you can do it one day at a time! Continue to check in and log your food and exercise and you will see change.
  • Powerliftnjunkie
    Powerliftnjunkie Posts: 8
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    Hi. I am sorry you are feeling so low and have been through so much. I can relate on the bipolar. I was on Depacote and could not lose the weight. I was biking 80+ miles and was in great shape but my weight would not budge until I got off the meds. I dropped 20 pounds in 2 months or less. It has taken me 2 years to get where I am today. Still I have progress to make. Have you talked to them and asked the doctors to put you on another medicine? There are so many for Bipolar. For me, I am on no type of medicine. I just take the mood changes. I found what works really well for me is to find an activity I enjoy and it helps me stay under control. I am not suggesting you do as I did by coming off the meds, just maybe find an activity you like. Maybe walk, bike. Something easy to help you feel better about yourself. I know you said you have low self esteem. There is no reason to feel crappy about yourself because of the weight. You have to find a way to love yourself as you are at the moment because even when you lose the weight, you will find that your low self esteem will still be there because it's an internal thing. I'm not saying stay where you are in weight, but love yourself regardless of where you are at the moment. When you love yourself you can begin to heal and fight for your life and the rest will follow. Keep logging in MFP and keep track of your food. Look to see where you need improvements. Eat whole foods, skip out on processed foods, maybe things like these are hindering you. But most importantly, please just take it one day at a time. Find an exercise you enjoy. Keep your doctors informed and work on loving yourself because I am sure the people in your life love you no matter your size!! Wishing you the best!
  • TiberiusClaudis
    TiberiusClaudis Posts: 423 Member
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    Good advice ^

    First of all, you have to forgive yourself and decide here and now, things start afresh. Really, draw a line in the sand and say to yourself the healing starts now.

    Many of us have began in similar spots and have gone on to transform. Don't believe me..go take a look at my profile. I have a pic of where I was 2.5 years ago and now.

    It takes time and therefore LOTS of patience. You will sometimes fall, you will go off your diet, you will binge..you will skip training...but if you truely want to succeed...you will put your health above EVERYTHING first..even your children. If you don't take care of yourself, how can you take care of them.

    We can help support you and offer advice, but the strength must come from you..you must have the irresistable desire to transform. Are you ready to take the leap?
  • missmaesson
    missmaesson Posts: 4 Member
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    At the end of each day; name one thing that felt positive, or made you smile, or made you feel less bad. Write it down. It can be something small like a beautiful sunset, or something you did; like you helped your sons with homework or whatever. There will always be some thing to be happy about, even when there are tons of things you're not happy about. Cherish that one thing.

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