Weight/self esteem question

nicola8989
nicola8989 Posts: 381 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am 5ft 7-5ft 8, 25 years old and a (UK) size 14/16.

When I started losing weight I was a size 16 - and I weighed 16 stone. Now I weigh 15 and a half.

My question is, really, how is that possible?? I feel like at such a heavy weight I should look much bigger and wear much bigger clothes. When I read the weights of other people who are a similar height and dress size they are much lower.

From the ages of 16 - 21 I did a lot of exercise, sometimes hours a day, so sometimes I think it's muscle/muscle memory but that was a few years ago now. A few years ago I weighed between 11 and 12 stone and I was a size 12/14. It just doesn't seem to make sense.

My clothes definitely aren't too tight, if anything they're normally a bit big for me (my mother would never allow me to wear clothes that are too tight and when I was younger made me wear sizes much too big - but that's a story for another day!)

I know it's about more than the number on the scale but at a size 14/16 should I really weigh in at a weight that pitches me into the obese category? I do find it really damaging to my self-esteem to weigh this much (past of eating disorders- again, story for another day!)

ETA: My question is - how can I weigh 15 and a half stone and only be a size 14/16 - does that sound right/normal?

Replies

  • JenniDaisy
    JenniDaisy Posts: 526 Member
    What exactly is the question?
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
    I'm also a bit confused about what is being asked here. Could you rephrase something maybe? Condense it a bit?
  • CherryChan81
    CherryChan81 Posts: 264 Member
    muscle heavier than fat?
  • nicola8989
    nicola8989 Posts: 381 Member
    Sorry - my question is, how can I weigh 15 and a half stone and only be a size 14/16?
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    hard lesson i learnt throughout trying to lose weight is not to compare myself with anyone, it can be soul destroying especially when i was comparing myself to ladies who were different heights and builds to me.

    At 5ft 8 i was almost 15stones wearing size 18/20 uk sizes. I am now wearing a size 10/12 uk sizes but still very close to being overweight. I have now quit my obsessing over my bmi.

    We are all made different, and carry our weight in different places.
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
    Sorry - my question is, how can I weigh 15 and a half stone and only be a size 14/16?
    I actually don't care much for the scale at all, one can obsess way too much about the number. How do you look in the mirror? Are you fit or not? (Sorry, don't use stone so have no idea of how much that is in kg or lbs.)
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    Also you say your clothes are abit loose so are you wearing the right size?
  • JenniDaisy
    JenniDaisy Posts: 526 Member
    Sorry - my question is, how can I weigh 15 and a half stone and only be a size 14/16?

    I'm almost the same age as you, the same height, However I weigh 12st but I wear size 14/16
    Clothes sizes are completely arbitrary and as you age you carry fat in different places, I know as I get older I'm getting more pear shaped.
  • nicola8989
    nicola8989 Posts: 381 Member
    Sorry - my question is, how can I weigh 15 and a half stone and only be a size 14/16?
    I actually don't care much for the scale at all, one can obsess way too much about the number. How do you look in the mirror? Are you fit or not? (Sorry, don't use stone so have no idea of how much that is in kg or lbs.)

    I look fat but I don't think I look like as heavy as I weigh (217lb)
  • IvyLuci
    IvyLuci Posts: 117 Member
    -Not all clothes with the same number are the same size. I have t-shirts that are equally big when put next to one another, sizes go from M to XL

    -People carry their weight differently, and therefore clothes fit them differently. The same shirt will fit differently on someone whose stomach is the widest part than on someone whose hips are the widest part, even if their weight is the same.

    -Our bodies change as we grow up, and as we put on and lose weight. I used to weight the same some 10 years ago but was significantly pudgier, and I wore clothes that were larger than the clothes I'm wearing now, even though the labels might say that the number is the same.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    16 st = 224 lbs, 15 st 7 = 217 lbs.

    Clothes fit different people differently. How your body mass is distributed is going to make a big difference (i.e., do you tend to hold fat more in your thighs vs abdomen, etc.) Plus, if you happen to wear older clothes that you've hung onto, hoping they'd fit again someday, chances are they're a bit stretched from previous wear.
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
    All right, well, here's the thing. Your ticker (did you have it there earlier? if yes, I was blind when first replying, so sorry about that! I'm a bit tired still) says you've already lost 7 lbs, which is nearly 10% of your total weight to lose. Losing 10% is a wonderful first step and many are not capable of losing even that, but keep making excuses.

    You've made some unhealthy decisions in the past, but you can't change them, so I suggest you focus on today only; what can you do today to keep pushing the ticker even more to the right? You mentioned a previous ED and it must be difficult at times, but you're already on your way and it is what it is right now - but could be very different a year from now if you commit every day to doing your best that day.

    Wondering about what could be isn't very productive is what I'm trying to say, but channel your energy into today and what's for you to do today.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    I really think you will mess with your mind thinking like this. forget about the past and keep eating right and carry on with your strength training until you can smile at yourself in the mirror. Our stats started off quite similar its just that am alot older. Perseverance got me to drop my dress sizes. you can do it.
  • nicola8989
    nicola8989 Posts: 381 Member
    I am pear shaped and I buy new clothes quite often so they aren't old ones (although I know what you mean about the stretch!!)

    Thank you that's really helpful - I am working hard to be healthy now although I can feel myself obsessing about my weight, food, exercise etc I am trying to aim for healthy eating rather than dieting.
  • lillyrose2020
    lillyrose2020 Posts: 178 Member
    When I started at 14 stone, size 16 was getting tight. If I got to 15 stone I would be more likely a size 18-20. I am shorter than you at 5'5. Maybe it is just how and where people carry the weight. Either way, you're lucky that your dress size hasn't crept up too much.
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    If I'm understanding your question correctly... It's a combination of LBM (lean body mass) and body type that affects these things. I've known girl who were shorter AND heavier than me in smaller sizes than me. I've known women who looked super slim that also happened to be the same size as me, but were taller.

    Sometimes I'll have the same thought of, "I can't possibly be in such and such a size." Well, I've fallen into the "vanity sizing" camp of noticing clothing just fitting larger than it used to. There's also the possibility of old clothing being slightly stretched. Or, you're just not changing measurements as drastically, even though the scale weight shows a certain number.
  • sljohnson1207
    sljohnson1207 Posts: 818 Member
    I'm going to leave a little thing right here for you...it's a little off topic, but not really.

    YOU are worth being loved, by YOU, and others as well. The most important person that you should ever compare yourself with is YOU. Never anyone else.

    Clothing sizes and BMI mean almost nothing if you feel like you look good and feel good. Treating your body right by eating enough, eating quality healthy foods, and exercising, will make you feel good.

    Accept and Love yourself as YOU are NOW. That is the first step. Then make your plan on how much you want to accept and love your new self in a year. And if you start obsessing, seek someone to talk to (professional), please.

    Much love and luck to you. I wish you success.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    I'm going to leave a little thing right here for you...it's a little off topic, but not really.

    YOU are worth being loved, by YOU, and others as well. The most important person that you should ever compare yourself with is YOU. Never anyone else.

    Clothing sizes and BMI mean almost nothing if you feel like you look good and feel good. Treating your body right by eating enough, eating quality healthy foods, and exercising, will make you feel good.

    Accept and Love yourself as YOU are NOW. That is the first step. Then make your plan on how much you want to accept and love your new self in a year. And if you start obsessing, seek someone to talk to (professional), please.

    Much love and luck to you. I wish you success.

    well said:flowerforyou:
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Sorry - my question is, how can I weigh 15 and a half stone and only be a size 14/16?
    Body frame, body type (apple/pear/hourglass -- carry weight differently), amount of muscle mass/body fat.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    I've never been tiny- people are constantly flabbergasted that I weigh 160+ (I was up to 180 at the top of my bulk).

    It is what it is- feeling good about yourself is important- no matter how big/small you are.

    If you're fabulous and fit- and you don't FEEL big and you feel great about it- that's a bonus.

    That's a good space to be in really.

    edit... I'm 160 something and still can't wear under a size 12 jean. But my skirts are usually 8's. I mean- body's come in all shapes and sizes. Be okay with it.
  • nicola8989
    nicola8989 Posts: 381 Member
    thank you there are some really lovely kind posts here :flowerforyou: I really appreciate it
  • onefortyone
    onefortyone Posts: 531 Member
    I am in a similar situation to you - same height, and my highest weight was 15st. Which is categorised as obese for our height btw. But I've never had to shop in the plus size section.

    Reasons? I seem to store fat evenly all over, so even after gaining a couple of stone (and more), I've only actually put on a couple of inches. This gives clothes a bit more leeway. You could be similar. And some clothes I bought before I gained the weight still fit, because the poor things have been worn almost every day and have simply stretched to accommodate (like my undies & bras, especially).

    I don't think being athletic as a kid has much to do with it, more fat placement, but I am just getting back into working out and reaping the benefits of being stronger than I thought, which is nice :)
  • 1Cor1510
    1Cor1510 Posts: 413 Member
    At 215 lbs, 5'6" tall I was in 14/16 US. I am now 165 and in 8/10's. I am still considered smack in the middle of overweight on the BMI scale but wearing 8's. The BMI scale is BS. It's about body type, lean body mass, and fat distribution. I plan to get into the "normal" range of the BMI scale (goal of 150lbs), but will probably at that point be in a size 4/6. Not sure I even would want to be smaller than that.

    I was 135 in high school, but with a lean body mass hovering around 115 lbs, I think now I would look sickly and don't even want to go there.

    More food for thought, I am the same weight I was when I got married 15 years ago, yet my wedding dress still doesn't fit ON TOP. I guess the girls grew when I had babies. My fat distribution is completely different now that I exercise and eat properly. Even at 215 though, people said they never would have guessed I weighed that much.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    Uh, this is not a self esteem question it is a sizing question. I agree with others who say it's wise not to compare yourself to others. I weighed 307 lb at my heaviest and wore a size 22 jeans. Some women at that weight wear size 30. It doesn't mean I looked great at that size, that's for sure. People really vary. LOL Also...I still wore size 22 all the way down to about 240 lb. That is a huge range.
  • stewartstory
    stewartstory Posts: 8 Member
    That's something for us all to remember. I'm obviously overweight now, but even when I was the "right size" I always weighed much more than I looked. We're all different body types and all comparing does in the end is make us crazy. :happy:

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