Struggling with motivation?

dave_in_ni
dave_in_ni Posts: 533 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Need a bit of help here as I am doing the same thing over and over and getting no where fast. I'm 33 and am 5'11, 210lbs so am classed as over weight. I was always chubby even as a child, the only thing that made me loss weight was illegal drugs mainly Ecstasy which I dabbled in during my late teens early 20's, Prior to this I was very active, I was on the school and town basketball teams which ment I was training every day and still I was chubby.

But what a difference losing the weight was, Women actually showed an interest, in fact getting women was easy, I was slim and trim and the best thing was I wasn't even trying to lose weight it just fell off. It was during this period of drug use I met my wife, she hated drugs and made it clear if there was an us I had to give it up which I did, withing weeks of kicking the habit the weight piled on again and I've been unable to move if since.

I've tried dieting many times and never last longer than a couple of days, as for exercise I work in manual labor which is physically demanding in itself but I come home from work at night and am shattered, I say I will exercise in the morning but at 5.30am when I get up I really have no motivation.

Last Saturday when I was at a family wedding I ran into an old face, an ex girlfriend, now she was and still is stunning, I met her when I was slim and trim, she looked at me on Saturday and looked at me like I was dirt, like something she has stood in and completely ignored me, now we parted ways on good terms, the look said "I'm to good to be talking to a fat slob like you" and it hurt.

So as I say been on countless diets but am getting no where so need some help please.

Replies

  • lavender_fairie
    lavender_fairie Posts: 76 Member
    I would say: Don't worry about her; she's shallow. Many ppl are. And when u drop the weight, there will b shallow ppl who smile at you like you are God's gift. Don't fall for it then either bc they r shallow too.

    You didn't really go into detail about exactly what u r doing, so I can only suggest a couple of things:

    1. Read the newbie guides (the pinned threads at the top of the Getting Started message board. They will help u set up ur calorie needs and help U learn the various ropes (weighing foods, looking at your reports, etc. my favorite thread of all is in the "Newbie posts u will need to read again and again" that is titled "Expectations." It's always nice for me to know what's coming next.

    2. Look at the numbers; take the emotions out of the equation completely. If u follow this system, IT WILL WORK and it's FREE. No gimmicks, no pills, lots of support and good information. The only things u need are: Patience, a determined, open mind, a food scale, Patience, remembering to read labels and input data, and a huge dose of a Patience. The weight will go down, and faster than some bc u r a male (I assume) in a physically demanding job.

    3. Read the success stories and really realize how many ppl reach goal weight everyday on here. They just follow the rules and the math follows and then the weight drops, over and over again. Lower and lower.

    4. Be kind to yourself. You are not huge and everybody has self esteem issues. Even very physically fit ppl do too. Be happy with who u r regardless of size bc when u drop the weight, if u have a voice inside you that belittles you, it will still be there. I'm 5'8", a wan, and I was always tiny. After having kids I weighed almost as much as you. And in 6 months, it was all gone. I spent all the time (years) being unhappy with my body and I didn't have to be. And I didn't even start exercising until I had lost the majority of my weight. You don't have to be perfect in every way all the time. That had always messed me up before while trying to lose the weight- I thought I had to work out constantly AND eat right AND get 8 hours of sleep every night AND never have a piece of cake ever again. weight loss does not require all that.

    5. Find go-to snacks that are not calorie dense. You sound like you r very busy and I know when I am very busy I have to have snacks onhand or I just grab what I can find. As u get more seasoned at this, u will find snacks that are "easy/quick" but that are also healthy or lower in calories. Strictly speaking, losing weight is just math. So if u have go-to foods u can grab, eat, and log that r good for you, tasty, and easy to log, u r already halfway there! SERIOUSLY--u will b halfway there.

    6. If u r new to this (this is ur first post it looks like), it might b a little daunting at first. Know that it WILL get easier. Once u have Inputted foods, they show up in the search so u dont have to use the barcode or a detailed description to find the food entry- your profile will remember. But the main thing is: it DOES get easier and logging goes fast, fast, fast once U get the hang of it.

    I'm sure I've forgotten things but I want u to know that I KNOW u can do this bc I have done it after failing so many times before by making it too complicated. I lost over 50 pounds in 6 months. I took the summer off and had a grand old time and gained back half of the weight I lost but I'm here again lol. AND I STILL weigh less than when I first started so I'm not giving up. And you shouldn't either. The time will pass either way- best make the most of today. Bc you are worth it. You really are.
  • WickedPineapple
    WickedPineapple Posts: 698 Member
    It's hard to workout when you have a physically demanding job. My job used to be much more physical and still is occasionally. So on the really active work days I just don't work out. Save the working out for your days off. Since you're already getting a lot of activity, focus on your diet. Have MFP calculate your calories. Get a food scale. Log everything. Find your weak points foodwise and work on them. My problem with my active days is those days also tend to be fast food days. So I look up nutrition for the places I like and the food I like, so I can pick something out I know will fit in my calories/macros.

    PS - Forget your ex. People are exes for a reason.
  • dave_in_ni
    dave_in_ni Posts: 533 Member
    Thanks all for the help and advice :)

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