Ever Feel Alone No Matter How Many MFP Friends You Have?

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PhoebeGrey
PhoebeGrey Posts: 58
in Getting Started
I ask this because I have been using MFP for about a week. I have just about 100 pounds to lose so I will be here for some time. I have made friend requests with people I felt I had a little in common with and explained that positive encouragement would go a long way in motivating me. Every day I log on, record my food, weight, etc. . . but get no feed back. Not a "Hey, good for you, you lost a pound" or "good food plan" :ohwell: . I'm working hard, I could use some support. The ones who have signed on as friends are chatting away with everyone else but don't seem to notice I'm here even though I comment on their posts :frown: .
Does anyone else feel that way? I need some real MFP friends, some people who really are interested in others and want to encourage them to reach their goals. That's the kind of friend I'll be. Are you there???
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Replies

  • cookeylady
    cookeylady Posts: 147 Member
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    I'll be there. I have 140 lbs to lose. add me. we can do this together :)
  • nczuczu
    nczuczu Posts: 611 Member
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    Now that I am recommitting myself to my own healthy, I will be active in inspiring you. IN 2013, I was very supportive, but then life got in the way and I became lazy and then was horrible about commenting and showing support. I lost many "friends" during that time. But, so many people stuck by my side. Although, it can be frustrating when virtual friends do not support you, I might suggest that you look at your close circle of friends/family/coworkers and see if there are others that want to lose weight like you. These might work well too. I am very fortunate as my husband also needs to lose weight. We are on this journey together. I would really struggle without him supporting me.

    Anyway, I'm here, so just reach out if you need some added encouragement. :)

    Nancy
  • TheBitSlinger
    TheBitSlinger Posts: 621 Member
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    I keep my FL small so that I can interact with my friends here. MFPers who have a lot of friends in their list are generals "friend collectors", and I avoid them. Periodically, I go through my FL and remove inactive members or members who haven't so much as "Liked" anything I've done in a while.

    That being said, I absolutely refuse to let anything stand in the way of my success. And right now, for whatever reason, very few of MFP friends are even "liking" my activity. Sucks, but I am going to keep trudging on.
  • kotarea
    kotarea Posts: 212 Member
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    I actually just deleted everyone on my friends list for this very reason, I would like and leave comments and post daily, I would very very rarely receive a response of any sort, so alone on this adventure I travel.
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,536 Member
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    Even with some great friends, I occasionally end up feeling a bit alone. It is more due to the fact that some days I feel like I need a ton of support, and I am expecting more than is required or can be expected from others. It is hard sometimes to find motivation from within. I understand that.

    It seems like a little thing, but encouraging comments from MFP friends really mean a lot sometimes. Ideally we motivate and push ourselves, but it is great to know someone else is reading our posts and took the time to comment.
  • No_Finish_Line
    No_Finish_Line Posts: 3,662 Member
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    well, its only been a week. some of these MFPers have known each other for years... and have probably had untold numbers of randoms come and go.

    don't get discouraged. Its like any other kind of networking really, you get in a portion of what you put out. keep putting yourself out there, and people will get to know you more and act accordingly.
  • No_Finish_Line
    No_Finish_Line Posts: 3,662 Member
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    and i love the white kitty lol
  • cardinalsfootball
    cardinalsfootball Posts: 167 Member
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    I think what is important is finding people who are at the same stage with you. If you sign up with 20 people who are just getting started at the same time as you, those will likely be the best people to relate to.

    The reason is that frankly, after a while most people aren't really interested or needing comments on their daily journals. At first, yes, but after a while, you either self-motivate or drop off the site.
  • fifty6ford
    fifty6ford Posts: 59 Member
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    I have been seriously active for only about 5 weeks though I joined MFP a few years ago. I'm not a great one for tons of interaction online, but I'm trying hard with MFP because I understand how it feels to get encouragement from others. I do try to make it a point to at least hit like for goals or accomplishments others have met. I think for me it takes getting comfortable in the setting before I step out much.
  • MissFlawed
    MissFlawed Posts: 89 Member
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    Feel free to add me, I'll motivate you the best I can. :smile:
  • No_Finish_Line
    No_Finish_Line Posts: 3,662 Member
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    also, if you haven't done so, try posting something.

    It almost sounds like your bothered that no one posts on the automatic statuses like how many days you've logged in and that you completed your diary.

    I wouldn't expect those to draw tons of responses. try putting a slightly more personal message out there, see if that helps
  • Rowood101
    Rowood101 Posts: 98 Member
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    Totally agree. I always try and write something positive when my friends post a loss and sometimes I feel a little bit lonely when I post something and noone responds. Having said this, I do have some faithful MFP friends (but would always love more). Please feel free to add me as a friend.
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,834 Member
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    also, if you haven't done so, try posting something.

    It almost sounds like your bothered that no one posts on the automatic statuses like how many days you've logged in and that you completed your diary.

    I wouldn't expect those to draw tons of responses. try putting a slightly more personal message out there, see if that helps

    ^^^^ this

    also - comment on their posts as well. They need to know you have a pulse and you're active. Try commenting on posts and posting your own status updates - similiar to Facebook. And give it time - it's only been a week!
  • SassyCalyGirl
    SassyCalyGirl Posts: 1,932 Member
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    this is exactly why I have a "small" FR

    you need to be choosing people with the same goals, and possible the same weight loss goals. Same exercise habits etc.

    Be picky, and specific about what your needs are.

    I'd be happy to help, but I don't blow smoke up peoples *kitten*'s. .I will hold you 100% accountable.
  • AmandaLY17
    AmandaLY17 Posts: 184 Member
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    Ive certainly noticed that there isnt a lot of conversations happening fri on wall(or on theirs for the most part).
    I like to comment on statuses because I like the sense of community that should be happening on sites like this, however, I dont really ever comment on diary or exercise posts as I cant think of something to write about most of them lol. You are welcome to add me if you want. If you post a status I'll almost always comment on it :)
  • _BearNecessities_
    _BearNecessities_ Posts: 432 Member
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    this is exactly why I have a "small" FR

    you need to be choosing people with the same goals, and possible the same weight loss goals. Same exercise habits etc.

    Be picky, and specific about what your needs are.

    I'd be happy to help, but I don't blow smoke up peoples *kitten*'s. .I will hold you 100% accountable.

    It's true. She does, however, enjoy salads.
  • PhoebeGrey
    PhoebeGrey Posts: 58
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    and i love the white kitty lol
    Thank you :happy: Her name is Cozette but I call her Cozy Bear. She is the sweetest kitty but what a talker. Her mom was a rescue I took in who was pregnant and starving. She had 5 kittens, found homes for all but kept Cozy and her mom, they needed each other. They look like twins but the baby has blue eyes and the mom has green.
  • heyyitsamandaa
    heyyitsamandaa Posts: 26
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    Anyone can add me. Im always good for a like/comment/conversation to support and encourage someone on this journey, i have about 130 pounds if not more left to lose so ill be here a while too. Youre all doing great though, keep up what your doing and the right friends will come along on here
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 8,995 Member
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    I must admit I am not a very active friend.
    I post on the forums but dont interact a lot on my friend list.

    I dont send out friend requests but if somebody sends me one I accept.

    Perhaps some of the people you sent friend requests to are like this too OP.
    Its not personal, and they dont deliberately exclude you - they just dont use the friends feature of the site much or as much as you would like..
  • PeacefulSeraph
    PeacefulSeraph Posts: 201 Member
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    I have several friends on here, but I probably only chat directly with about 5-6 of them. People add me, but then I don't hear back. I comment on their posts, but they never comment on mine... I'd like to blame it on global time differences instead of apathy -but who really knows? I love being active and chatty- so if that's what you want, add me!

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