Ever Feel Alone No Matter How Many MFP Friends You Have?
PhoebeGrey
Posts: 58
I ask this because I have been using MFP for about a week. I have just about 100 pounds to lose so I will be here for some time. I have made friend requests with people I felt I had a little in common with and explained that positive encouragement would go a long way in motivating me. Every day I log on, record my food, weight, etc. . . but get no feed back. Not a "Hey, good for you, you lost a pound" or "good food plan" :ohwell: . I'm working hard, I could use some support. The ones who have signed on as friends are chatting away with everyone else but don't seem to notice I'm here even though I comment on their posts :frown: .
Does anyone else feel that way? I need some real MFP friends, some people who really are interested in others and want to encourage them to reach their goals. That's the kind of friend I'll be. Are you there???
Does anyone else feel that way? I need some real MFP friends, some people who really are interested in others and want to encourage them to reach their goals. That's the kind of friend I'll be. Are you there???
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Replies
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I'll be there. I have 140 lbs to lose. add me. we can do this together
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Now that I am recommitting myself to my own healthy, I will be active in inspiring you. IN 2013, I was very supportive, but then life got in the way and I became lazy and then was horrible about commenting and showing support. I lost many "friends" during that time. But, so many people stuck by my side. Although, it can be frustrating when virtual friends do not support you, I might suggest that you look at your close circle of friends/family/coworkers and see if there are others that want to lose weight like you. These might work well too. I am very fortunate as my husband also needs to lose weight. We are on this journey together. I would really struggle without him supporting me.
Anyway, I'm here, so just reach out if you need some added encouragement.
Nancy0 -
I keep my FL small so that I can interact with my friends here. MFPers who have a lot of friends in their list are generals "friend collectors", and I avoid them. Periodically, I go through my FL and remove inactive members or members who haven't so much as "Liked" anything I've done in a while.
That being said, I absolutely refuse to let anything stand in the way of my success. And right now, for whatever reason, very few of MFP friends are even "liking" my activity. Sucks, but I am going to keep trudging on.0 -
I actually just deleted everyone on my friends list for this very reason, I would like and leave comments and post daily, I would very very rarely receive a response of any sort, so alone on this adventure I travel.0
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Even with some great friends, I occasionally end up feeling a bit alone. It is more due to the fact that some days I feel like I need a ton of support, and I am expecting more than is required or can be expected from others. It is hard sometimes to find motivation from within. I understand that.
It seems like a little thing, but encouraging comments from MFP friends really mean a lot sometimes. Ideally we motivate and push ourselves, but it is great to know someone else is reading our posts and took the time to comment.0 -
well, its only been a week. some of these MFPers have known each other for years... and have probably had untold numbers of randoms come and go.
don't get discouraged. Its like any other kind of networking really, you get in a portion of what you put out. keep putting yourself out there, and people will get to know you more and act accordingly.0 -
and i love the white kitty lol0
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I think what is important is finding people who are at the same stage with you. If you sign up with 20 people who are just getting started at the same time as you, those will likely be the best people to relate to.
The reason is that frankly, after a while most people aren't really interested or needing comments on their daily journals. At first, yes, but after a while, you either self-motivate or drop off the site.0 -
I have been seriously active for only about 5 weeks though I joined MFP a few years ago. I'm not a great one for tons of interaction online, but I'm trying hard with MFP because I understand how it feels to get encouragement from others. I do try to make it a point to at least hit like for goals or accomplishments others have met. I think for me it takes getting comfortable in the setting before I step out much.0
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Feel free to add me, I'll motivate you the best I can. 0
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also, if you haven't done so, try posting something.
It almost sounds like your bothered that no one posts on the automatic statuses like how many days you've logged in and that you completed your diary.
I wouldn't expect those to draw tons of responses. try putting a slightly more personal message out there, see if that helps0 -
Totally agree. I always try and write something positive when my friends post a loss and sometimes I feel a little bit lonely when I post something and noone responds. Having said this, I do have some faithful MFP friends (but would always love more). Please feel free to add me as a friend.0
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also, if you haven't done so, try posting something.
It almost sounds like your bothered that no one posts on the automatic statuses like how many days you've logged in and that you completed your diary.
I wouldn't expect those to draw tons of responses. try putting a slightly more personal message out there, see if that helps
^^^^ this
also - comment on their posts as well. They need to know you have a pulse and you're active. Try commenting on posts and posting your own status updates - similiar to Facebook. And give it time - it's only been a week!0 -
this is exactly why I have a "small" FR
you need to be choosing people with the same goals, and possible the same weight loss goals. Same exercise habits etc.
Be picky, and specific about what your needs are.
I'd be happy to help, but I don't blow smoke up peoples *kitten*'s. .I will hold you 100% accountable.0 -
Ive certainly noticed that there isnt a lot of conversations happening fri on wall(or on theirs for the most part).
I like to comment on statuses because I like the sense of community that should be happening on sites like this, however, I dont really ever comment on diary or exercise posts as I cant think of something to write about most of them lol. You are welcome to add me if you want. If you post a status I'll almost always comment on it 0 -
this is exactly why I have a "small" FR
you need to be choosing people with the same goals, and possible the same weight loss goals. Same exercise habits etc.
Be picky, and specific about what your needs are.
I'd be happy to help, but I don't blow smoke up peoples *kitten*'s. .I will hold you 100% accountable.
It's true. She does, however, enjoy salads.0 -
Thank you :happy: Her name is Cozette but I call her Cozy Bear. She is the sweetest kitty but what a talker. Her mom was a rescue I took in who was pregnant and starving. She had 5 kittens, found homes for all but kept Cozy and her mom, they needed each other. They look like twins but the baby has blue eyes and the mom has green.and i love the white kitty lol0 -
Anyone can add me. Im always good for a like/comment/conversation to support and encourage someone on this journey, i have about 130 pounds if not more left to lose so ill be here a while too. Youre all doing great though, keep up what your doing and the right friends will come along on here0
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I must admit I am not a very active friend.
I post on the forums but dont interact a lot on my friend list.
I dont send out friend requests but if somebody sends me one I accept.
Perhaps some of the people you sent friend requests to are like this too OP.
Its not personal, and they dont deliberately exclude you - they just dont use the friends feature of the site much or as much as you would like..0 -
I have several friends on here, but I probably only chat directly with about 5-6 of them. People add me, but then I don't hear back. I comment on their posts, but they never comment on mine... I'd like to blame it on global time differences instead of apathy -but who really knows? I love being active and chatty- so if that's what you want, add me!0
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I personally found more encouragement from my own gender and age range. I'm 53 and trying to friend a 20year old....well it's tough. I also have found that someone closer to my age listens better. Good luck in your weight loss Miss Phoebe...add me if you like.
Lisa.0 -
Sometimes the hardest part of getting support is asking those around you for what you need.0
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That happens to everyone, you have a huge list of friends and out of that list they'll pick people they more closely associate with. So I ended up with two friends out of the list that are watching what I am doing, LOL. No worries I just want to encourage everyone, no matter what their age, gender or how much weight they need to lose, and the (no) response from others doesn't bother me. I just hit the like button on everyone else, even though they don't respond, and I'll comment if I have some advice. At any rate, it's my fat, and it's up to me to lose it, and also to never find it again.0
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Hello I felt this way when I first started as well. I usually jump in on these types of posts read the story and then let the person decide if they would like to send me a request or not. I am a very active friend and it can become time consuming commenting on everything but I do unless I find it inappropriate or don't have any advice. I try to at least give a like. You may add me if you like and welcome to MFP!0
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I have 100's of online friends and some i contact directly and every single day i still feel alone0
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I feel like that IRL all the time. On here...occasionally...but I've had to realize that I ultimately can't depend on other people to get me to my goals.0
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I feel like that IRL all the time. On here...occasionally...but I've had to realize that I ultimately can't depend on other people to get me to my goals.
Very true Jen, depend on yourself first and foremost, noone can do it for you0 -
Hi there,
Not meaning this in a sexist way at all (so I apologise if it comes across that way), but I have been experiencing this quite a lot recently, and I thought it was because I was a guy, so it's quite refreshing to see women having the same issue.
I feel exactly the same way: The only time I seem to get feedback these days is if I get a really good burn on a gym day, but even that to this day is now starting to dwindle. I know I haven't done so, but I really feel like I have upset someone, and it's just affected things on here. I have the odd person on occasion who maybe likes when I've completed my Food and Exercise diary, but it gets rarer and rarer as time goes on. I feel very lonely sometimes, as another guy on my friends list seems to get a lot of likes and comments, and I find it quite hurtful sometimes...
There are times where I have actually just wanted to give up on this, but I really enjoy the ability to log and track my food and exercise, and I have started to notice some improvements within myself, just would be nice to have some support and encouragement...
To everyone on this post: I will more than happily motivate and encourage you all, feel free to add me, and let's complete this journey of ours together!0 -
I know what you mean I have a huge amout to loose and i feel the same way not many friends I too could use some extra encouragmnet I would love to be friends and help you be encourageged if youll have me lol i have been off here a while but I am back and getting off my pitty party ready to rock this whole journey as i know we can do together0
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I like having friends on here, but yes, I sometimes feel quite alone - when I'm far from that!0
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