Staying Motivated while others are jealous

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Chloverflower
Chloverflower Posts: 5 Member
in Motivation and Support
To my Fellow MFP members ^-^

I have been on my healthy lifestyle change since October 2013 I have lost a little over 60 pounds ^-^
Those of you who are on a journey, or just beginning, I tip my hat to you because I know the dedication and hard work you have/ or will be putting into it <3
You are Beautiful, Handsome, and just the Bee's Knees <3

I am 5'4, 5'4 n a half on a good day, so my doctor said I should be around 145-150lbs, it is tiring looking at the scale at times, but that is what helps me stay on track, that and what really helped me is calorie counting.
I have had my ups and downs with my weight through my 20 years of life on this Earth, I have struggled with dieting, under eating and binge eating, but I can say I am doing things the right way this time.

Since I have lost some weight, I have been running into the problem of trying to stay on track while my family *cough* cousins *cough* make little jabs at me, you know the comments that seem encouraging but the underlying is because they are jelly-jelly (jealous)? Sometimes they do get to me I'll be brave and admit.

I come from a BIG family in all terms, the sad thing is, being native American we have a high risk of developing diabetes and I wanted to change.

My question is, how can I stay motivated when my relatives take little jabs at me for living a healthier lifestyle, and how can I stop myself from getting too comfortable and not forget my ultimate goal?

Thank chu ( >^-^)> <(^-^ <)

Replies

  • ukaryote
    ukaryote Posts: 874 Member
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    You have done wonderfully. Family always knows the buttons to push to get a reaction.

    My family throw jabs too. I have a donut (one per week) or a beer and my kid is right there "I thought you wanted to lose weight?!" I thank him for his concern and say I will make up the difference throughout the day.

    Motivated - I read these forums and enjoy the Likes from friends.
  • kenc1971
    kenc1971 Posts: 107 Member
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    Here's some options on what to do. I'm guessing that your cousins aren't living a healthy lifestyle...

    Haters Gonna Hate Option: You think that their jabs are out of jealousy? Eat that jealousy, chew it up really nice, swallow it, and use it to fuel your success. Welcome their jabs, because you're a workout machine.

    Shame Option: "This is really important to me, and I figured that the one place I'd get the most support from is my family".

    Let The Fur Fly Option: "Oh, that reminds me, I've got some clothes that are too big for me now, do you want them?"

    Sweet Revenge Option: Get a photo with them. Get one with them every time you make a milestone. Then make a collage showing your progress when you've reached your goal, and they've stayed the same. Thank them for being the control group.

    ...of course the best/serious option is "Water off a duck's back". Realize that their jealousy stems from you becoming the mirror that they wish they could see themselves in. You could even try bringing them into the effort with you. Try to turn their jealousy into inspiration, and get them to join in. It might take some doing, and leading by example, but maybe it will work. If even one of them joins up with you, you're already making your family that much healthier.

    Best of luck, and remember that the only person you have to answer to is yourself.
  • PrissyPisces
    PrissyPisces Posts: 117 Member
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    Let that jealousy keep you motivated. :laugh:

    Honestly, people aren't jealous for no reason, so you KNOW that you're doing something right. The thing about many families (sadly) is that there's always going to be someone who feels the need to compete with you, or be "better" than you in some way. I have family members who think they are better, simply because they are slimmer. So when I noticeably slim down, I'm sure many skinny family members will either start working out to obtain muscle (which happened when I got a gym membership some years backs) or try to get a tummy tuck. :laugh: :laugh: :sad: :laugh: :laugh:

    What I'd also do, is distance myself from the negativity. Try to stay away from them until the holidays. You do NOT need the negative energy in your space while you are trying to better yourself. I wish I could do that with my cousins, aunts, and uncles.

    You have done an AWESOME job, and come SOOOO far! Congratulations to YOU! I can't wait until I lose 60 pounds! Let that accomplishment motivate you to keep going, because if you do start to slack, those pounds will show right back up, and I heard that losing weight over and over again is unhealthy. It's best to just keep that weight off, and really stay on track with your new lifestyle.

    Best of luck to you! Sending positive energy your way! :drinker:
  • airangel59
    airangel59 Posts: 1,887 Member
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    My question is, how can I stay motivated when my relatives take little jabs at me for living a healthier lifestyle, and how can I stop myself from getting too comfortable and not forget my ultimate goal?

    Just remember why YOU are doing this and TRY to ignore your relatives, they are not living in your skin. Tell them you are following doctor's orders, lol From your ticker you are close to your goal weight, yes? You may end up changing your goal weight once you get closer to it or like the way you look & feel at a certain weight.

    I found reading the success & motivational threads very helpful, seeing the before & after pics and reading the journey's others took to get to their goal....kept my mindset where it needed to be. If they could do it, so could I, especially if they were way heavier than I was.

    You are doing great:flowerforyou: , hang in there, smile and thank them for their concern , lol:bigsmile:
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
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    That you have lost 60+ pounds is amazing! Congrats to you. My suggestion for not letting others get to you is to just ignore them or not talk to them about what you do. There will always be someone who is that negative voice in your ear. Just take care of yourself and let petty comments roll off of you. It won't always be easy, but sometimes you really do have to put yourself first.
  • hearthwood
    hearthwood Posts: 794 Member
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    Just ignore them, while patting yourself on the back, one day hopefully they will come around and get serious about a life style change for themselves. Then it will be you that they will look toward for support and motivation.
  • Luckee_me
    Luckee_me Posts: 1,426 Member
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    Here's some options on what to do. I'm guessing that your cousins aren't living a healthy lifestyle...

    Haters Gonna Hate Option: You think that their jabs are out of jealousy? Eat that jealousy, chew it up really nice, swallow it, and use it to fuel your success. Welcome their jabs, because you're a workout machine.

    Shame Option: "This is really important to me, and I figured that the one place I'd get the most support from is my family".

    Let The Fur Fly Option: "Oh, that reminds me, I've got some clothes that are too big for me now, do you want them?"

    Sweet Revenge Option: Get a photo with them. Get one with them every time you make a milestone. Then make a collage showing your progress when you've reached your goal, and they've stayed the same. Thank them for being the control group.

    ...of course the best/serious option is "Water off a duck's back". Realize that their jealousy stems from you becoming the mirror that they wish they could see themselves in. You could even try bringing them into the effort with you. Try to turn their jealousy into inspiration, and get them to join in. It might take some doing, and leading by example, but maybe it will work. If even one of them joins up with you, you're already making your family that much healthier.

    Best of luck, and remember that the only person you have to answer to is yourself.

    ^^^ALL OF THIS!

    Good luck to you.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    I have similar issues sometimes...

    friends/family/aquaintances

    last week I had comments made...it didn't really make me feel bad about myself or stop doing what I am doing which is staying healthy and getting fit and keeping the weight off...*I want to say tho it wasn't just last week it has happened frequently

    It made me wonder what was going on in their life ...they can't be happy if they are trying to tear others down.

    I actually felt bad for them....it stayed with me for a while...and everytime I read something like this it takes me back...

    To stay motivated is remember why you are doing this...it's not to please them, it's not to make them healthier it's for you...so stay motivated for you...get healthy for you and then when you reach your goal live your "better life".
  • donnat238
    donnat238 Posts: 309 Member
    Options
    Here's some options on what to do. I'm guessing that your cousins aren't living a healthy lifestyle...

    Haters Gonna Hate Option: You think that their jabs are out of jealousy? Eat that jealousy, chew it up really nice, swallow it, and use it to fuel your success. Welcome their jabs, because you're a workout machine.

    Shame Option: "This is really important to me, and I figured that the one place I'd get the most support from is my family".

    Let The Fur Fly Option: "Oh, that reminds me, I've got some clothes that are too big for me now, do you want them?"

    Sweet Revenge Option: Get a photo with them. Get one with them every time you make a milestone. Then make a collage showing your progress when you've reached your goal, and they've stayed the same. Thank them for being the control group.

    ...of course the best/serious option is "Water off a duck's back". Realize that their jealousy stems from you becoming the mirror that they wish they could see themselves in. You could even try bringing them into the effort with you. Try to turn their jealousy into inspiration, and get them to join in. It might take some doing, and leading by example, but maybe it will work. If even one of them joins up with you, you're already making your family that much healthier.

    Best of luck, and remember that the only person you have to answer to is yourself.

    ^^^^THIS^^^ You have done an awesome job and should be proud of what you've accomplished!
  • Zoe_lifts
    Zoe_lifts Posts: 120 Member
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    I totally know what you mean ! A few months ago i heard other people on the forums etc. also complain about people being jealous , and i couldn't believe that people are actually jealous about something like weight loss. I tought it would never happen to me.
    Yesterday i was at a family dinner and my aunt (who's very much overweight) told me this: 'Oh you have lost so much weight, you look so good ! But you look okay now. You should definitely not lose any more weight.' Well.. I am aiming to lose those last 4 kg. And then I'll see. I also started lifting so i have no idea what i'll look like when i lose those 4 kg. I still have quite some chub going on on my legs and stomach.
    My aunt is also trying to loose but she was commenting that my 1700 calories are far too little. Because her nutritionist told her she should eat 2000 calories. In my opinion 2000 calories are to maintain weight..? (It's not that she has a very active lifestyle or something.) I'm curious what her journey will be like tough. :)

    Also, someone else me that i'm getting so thin that she's not going to see me walking anymore if i lose some more. She has also been trying to loose weight. In the first month of my journey i lost 6 kg (eating only 1200 cals, i know, far too little, but i didn't know that back then.) She commented that was too much to loose in only one month... In the mean time we've been going to the gym together but she's giving up, again.

    And then someone else (some far family from my boyfriend) saw me after a long time we didn't see each other. She didn't said anything to me personally about my weight loss. But a few days later she had been on the phone with my boyf's mother and she said that if you wouldn't have known any better you'd think that i'd gotten a bypass ! seriously, wth? After that she also attempted to loose weight ..

    I'm so confused why people are acting like this, it's so weird !
    Anyways, i'm just gonna continue what i'm doing because i feel better than ever ! :D
  • maykann
    maykann Posts: 7
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    Sixty pounds is such an accomplishment! Way to take charge of your own health. I have a bunch of family members who struggle with their weight and have diabetes & high blood pressure. I don't want those problems! Like others have already mentioned, just focus on why you're improving your lifestyle and don't let them get to you too much. (Easier said than done, I know.) Years down the road, you'll still be enjoying energy they could never dream of.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    Options
    Here's some options on what to do. I'm guessing that your cousins aren't living a healthy lifestyle...

    Haters Gonna Hate Option: You think that their jabs are out of jealousy? Eat that jealousy, chew it up really nice, swallow it, and use it to fuel your success. Welcome their jabs, because you're a workout machine.

    Shame Option: "This is really important to me, and I figured that the one place I'd get the most support from is my family".

    Let The Fur Fly Option: "Oh, that reminds me, I've got some clothes that are too big for me now, do you want them?"

    Sweet Revenge Option: Get a photo with them. Get one with them every time you make a milestone. Then make a collage showing your progress when you've reached your goal, and they've stayed the same. Thank them for being the control group.

    ...of course the best/serious option is "Water off a duck's back". Realize that their jealousy stems from you becoming the mirror that they wish they could see themselves in. You could even try bringing them into the effort with you. Try to turn their jealousy into inspiration, and get them to join in. It might take some doing, and leading by example, but maybe it will work. If even one of them joins up with you, you're already making your family that much healthier.

    Best of luck, and remember that the only person you have to answer to is yourself.



    OH, He is so good!!!! ALL of this!
  • BlondieC23
    BlondieC23 Posts: 11
    Options
    Here's some options on what to do. I'm guessing that your cousins aren't living a healthy lifestyle...

    Haters Gonna Hate Option: You think that their jabs are out of jealousy? Eat that jealousy, chew it up really nice, swallow it, and use it to fuel your success. Welcome their jabs, because you're a workout machine.

    Shame Option: "This is really important to me, and I figured that the one place I'd get the most support from is my family".

    Let The Fur Fly Option: "Oh, that reminds me, I've got some clothes that are too big for me now, do you want them?"

    Sweet Revenge Option: Get a photo with them. Get one with them every time you make a milestone. Then make a collage showing your progress when you've reached your goal, and they've stayed the same. Thank them for being the control group.

    ...of course the best/serious option is "Water off a duck's back". Realize that their jealousy stems from you becoming the mirror that they wish they could see themselves in. You could even try bringing them into the effort with you. Try to turn their jealousy into inspiration, and get them to join in. It might take some doing, and leading by example, but maybe it will work. If even one of them joins up with you, you're already making your family that much healthier.

    Best of luck, and remember that the only person you have to answer to is yourself.
    This is awesome!!! Love it!!!
  • LingonberryLover
    LingonberryLover Posts: 5
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    Amen to that!
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
    Options
    Here's some options on what to do. I'm guessing that your cousins aren't living a healthy lifestyle...

    Haters Gonna Hate Option: You think that their jabs are out of jealousy? Eat that jealousy, chew it up really nice, swallow it, and use it to fuel your success. Welcome their jabs, because you're a workout machine.

    Shame Option: "This is really important to me, and I figured that the one place I'd get the most support from is my family".

    Let The Fur Fly Option: "Oh, that reminds me, I've got some clothes that are too big for me now, do you want them?"

    Sweet Revenge Option: Get a photo with them. Get one with them every time you make a milestone. Then make a collage showing your progress when you've reached your goal, and they've stayed the same. Thank them for being the control group.

    ...of course the best/serious option is "Water off a duck's back". Realize that their jealousy stems from you becoming the mirror that they wish they could see themselves in. You could even try bringing them into the effort with you. Try to turn their jealousy into inspiration, and get them to join in. It might take some doing, and leading by example, but maybe it will work. If even one of them joins up with you, you're already making your family that much healthier.

    Best of luck, and remember that the only person you have to answer to is yourself.

    These are all very excellent. I typically would go for the fur-fly option. Since they are jealous who gives a **** if they dont like me anyway? Who would want friends/relatives like that anyway!
  • MKEgal
    MKEgal Posts: 3,250 Member
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    My aunt is also trying to loose (sic) but she was commenting that my 1700 calories are far too little. Because her nutritionist told her she should eat 2000 calories. In my opinion 2000 calories are to maintain weight..? (It's not that she has a very active lifestyle or something.)
    My doctor & dietician told me to eat 10x my healthy goal weight in calories, and to ignore "net" or exercise calories
    .
    If your aunt is tall enough that 200 lb is a healthy goal weight for her (in the green zone on this BMI chart: http://www.shapeup.org/bmi/bmi6.pdf which means she'd have to be at least 6'4") then 2000 cal is fine for her to eat to lose weight to get there.
  • bug1114
    bug1114 Posts: 268 Member
    Options
    Here's some options on what to do. I'm guessing that your cousins aren't living a healthy lifestyle...

    Haters Gonna Hate Option: You think that their jabs are out of jealousy? Eat that jealousy, chew it up really nice, swallow it, and use it to fuel your success. Welcome their jabs, because you're a workout machine.

    Shame Option: "This is really important to me, and I figured that the one place I'd get the most support from is my family".

    Let The Fur Fly Option: "Oh, that reminds me, I've got some clothes that are too big for me now, do you want them?"

    Sweet Revenge Option: Get a photo with them. Get one with them every time you make a milestone. Then make a collage showing your progress when you've reached your goal, and they've stayed the same. Thank them for being the control group.

    ...of course the best/serious option is "Water off a duck's back". Realize that their jealousy stems from you becoming the mirror that they wish they could see themselves in. You could even try bringing them into the effort with you. Try to turn their jealousy into inspiration, and get them to join in. It might take some doing, and leading by example, but maybe it will work. If even one of them joins up with you, you're already making your family that much healthier.

    Best of luck, and remember that the only person you have to answer to is yourself.


    I love the "let the fur fly" option! I've been dealing with this as well, but not with family. From my BOSS at work. She takes the "you are fine, you don't need to lose any weight" route though. She is overweight and is trying to lose weight herself, so I think it frustrates her that I'm just trying to lose the last ten pounds. She has gone as far as to say that my workout programs of choice are "fads" and that she goes to the gym to do things the right way. Or she will purposely ask my opinion on something work out or weight loss related and then use it as a way to take jabs at me. It's very frustrating and if I let it, it can totally un-motivate me to want to be healthy. I have to agree that the best solution is to let the comments from your cousins roll off your back and remember you are doing this for you, not for anyone else, so their opinions and comments don't need to hold any weight with you.

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