Hi My name is Nick . Depressed at a morbid 350 pounds
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nickwilly
Posts: 3 Member
Hello people who may read this, I'm thirty five years old, five foot seven and weigh three hundred and fifty pounds. I Lost everything due to drunk driving . Lost house all my savings and a lot of fake friends. (can't party? why come over or hang out..) Was a really busy person with a lot of hustle, loosing everything killed that. I had to move in with my parents at thirty, after being on my own since I bought a house at nineteen was hard to deal with mentally. Woman I was dating left me. Some people would turn back to drinking or to drugs and get junked out. Not me! I was on probation for 3 years drinking ruined my life I hate it and jail is horrible. With no friends and anyone I ever knew a hour or so away I began to sleep and eat a lot. Now thirty five I'm on my own again. (sorta) I got a really cheap tiny repossessed house. In a area close to where I grew up hoping to see some friends again .parents still help me out a lot. I'm very grateful for my family at 350 pounds I'm morbidly obese and majorly depressed and alone. I find I sleep 12 to 15 hours a day. Cant get up to properly take care of myself . And I just had enough I want a Normal life back along with friends and new relationships and get ride of this anxiety that keeps me immobile. Idk why I wrote this, Soemthing to do trying to reach out to the world threw a box. Be cool if anyone felt like chatting with me, If there bored or such no reason needed. No need for, You can do it! comments or a pity party just normal friendly conversation be awesome. I'm 100% confident I am going to change the life God gave me im so grateful for. No more wasting Time. thanks
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OK, I won't say "you can do it!" I hate that too.....yes, I know I can do it! It's a matter of doing it. I don't know if you are a faithful, meaning believe in God or something greater than us, but for ME, having my faith and prayers help. I think it is great that you are moving forward with your life. I hate the expression A Day at a Time....BUT recently, my niece gave me a bracelet with that expression and it hit home for me with all going on in my left. So, I guess it is a good expression when that is how we need to adjust our life for the time being.
I find, going to the gym and just walking slow to relax and do something for me works..... My husband is very heavy also, same weight too. He has a hard time with exercising but finds walking slow on a treadmill helps him or riding a stationary bike....... it at least clears his head. Basically, any movement, no matter how slow it may be is better than not moving at all.
If you want to find good friends and want to change a bit --- do what you aim for and you will meet the right people. For me, it was returning back to church and to the gym..... I was out drinking all the time with friends (my husband does not drink).....for me to slow down on the drinking, I started finding friends who liked to do things I liked that did not include drinking. Helped me!
good luck in your new journey....0 -
I'll be real with you, I cannot relate to this at all. But we are all here on MFP for a reason - to lose weight and commit ourselves to healthier lives. And that we have in common
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I am really hoping that you have access to a doctor.You might look into getting evaluated for anxiety and depression.0
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My youngest sister was killed by a drunk driver one week before her fourteenth birthday. While I'll never know if you've learnt your lesson (that's for you to decide,) I know that being depressed and being overweight is a burden, emotionally and physically.
I think if you made small, gradual changes over a long period of time you'll have more success than if you try and force yourself to dive head first into a healthy lifestyle. You're here on MFP. Track everything you eat and be brutally honest about it. Once you see your caloric intake you can go from there.
I'm hoping you can turn this around.0 -
Welcome to our community Nick - we are glad you are here. I appreciate your honesty and self candor and think you will find there are a lot of supportive people here who can keep you company on this journey. Remember you don't have to make big changes all at once, just don't give up. Keep coming back... even if its just to log one meal a day while you are getting the hang of this, and maybe updating your status on how you are doing or feeling that day to get support and encouragement.0
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Welcome to MFP.
Don't try to change everything at once. Make a list of things you need/want to achieve. Be realistic, put everything down. If you have problems motivating yourself to get up, shower and brush your teeth, put that on the list. Even being able to tie your shoelaces. These are what we call NSVs Non-scale victories. Yes, they are victories, they motivate you to do a little more each day.
As someone said earlier, MFP has a LOT of people in all sorts of situations, but they are here to do something about it. You obviously want to change things, you made the enormous step of joining MFP and writing about your situation.
1. measure yourself as soon as you can, and keep track of it. If I had not done so, I would have lost my mind, because I was not seeing weight coming off, but the inches were.
2. log EVERYTHING you eat or drink.
3. There is NO such thing as a "cheat day". "Cheating" is a shortcut to a goal... you will not get to your goal by any shortcut, therefore, you are NOT "cheating"... you are lapsing. I do not have a lapse day. IF I want to eat something, I have to decide... do I want that particular thing, and allow for it in my daily allowance. I am not saying you have to deprive yourself, but at you need to evaluate things.
4. Don't just go for hundreds of MFP friends.. quality over quantity... support each other. Don't expect support and not give it.
5. Remember.. despite how accurate your bathroom scales are.. THEY LIE!
6. Use measuring cups and kitchen scales. Your idea of a serving, is probably more than it should be.
7. Keep active! even if it is a few steps more than the day before. you are not competing with anyone else, just trying to better your activity the day before.
8. Do DRINK THE WATER! It really does make a difference.
9. Make small changes at first...and add more changes. They will become habits. Believe me. It takes 21 days to change a habit!
10. Remember... you have choices. How badly do you WANT it? NO EXCUSES! To quote Yoda "Do or do not, there is no try".
Believe in yourself, you are stronger than you think.
Just imagine how you can look by this time next year.
I wish you all the very best on your journey to a healthier happier you.
If you want inspiration, look here : http://www.myfitnesspal.com/profile/lukewind0 -
I hope you can turn this around as well. I have 2 cousins killed by drunk drivers, the 2nd ones family has been thru hell. His wife was pregnant at the time and almost lost her baby. I have seen the pain on my aunts face ,losing 2 sons to drunk drivers killing them. Troy was only 22, and Scott, the 2nd one was 28 and left 2 sons and a wife.........the pain that we experience is horrific
the 2nd drunk driver was only17, a senior in High School.......he hit my cousin going 70 miles an hour, and my cousin was driving a motorcycle....he left work at 2 am, he was the stage manager at an event hall......he never stood a chance........the 17 year old is serving 30 years in prison
You are lucky you didnt kill anyone.............at least you aren't in prison and can be on your own........look at it that way, that although you got stopped, at least you didnt kill anyone.............
take care and best wishes, I hope you find the way0 -
Hello people who may read this, I'm thirty five years old, five foot seven and weigh three hundred and fifty pounds. I Lost everything due to drunk driving . Lost house all my savings and a lot of fake friends. (can't party? why come over or hang out..) Was a really busy person with a lot of hustle, loosing everything killed that. I had to move in with my parents at thirty, after being on my own since I bought a house at nineteen was hard to deal with mentally. Woman I was dating left me. Some people would turn back to drinking or to drugs and get junked out. Not me! I was on probation for 3 years drinking ruined my life I hate it and jail is horrible. With no friends and anyone I ever knew a hour or so away I began to sleep and eat a lot. Now thirty five I'm on my own again. (sorta) I got a really cheap tiny repossessed house. In a area close to where I grew up hoping to see some friends again .parents still help me out a lot. I'm very grateful for my family at 350 pounds I'm morbidly obese and majorly depressed and alone. I find I sleep 12 to 15 hours a day. Cant get up to properly take care of myself . And I just had enough I want a Normal life back along with friends and new relationships and get ride of this anxiety that keeps me immobile. Idk why I wrote this, Soemthing to do trying to reach out to the world threw a box. Be cool if anyone felt like chatting with me, If there bored or such no reason needed. No need for, You can do it! comments or a pity party just normal friendly conversation be awesome. I'm 100% confident I am going to change the life God gave me im so grateful for. No more wasting Time. thanks
Bro let me say this, I know some of the things you went through and experiencing. I will not go into this here cause this is not a forum for me to spill it but I will help you out in this journey.
1) change your profile that reflects accurate information that will help motivate you every time you read it. BE POSITIVE
2) get a mindset that no matter what steps in front of me I can achieve and overcome.
3) Pick motivators that will inspire you and not inhibit you. Think of positive people you look up to.
4) track everything for the first two weeks and then make small changes that your body and you can handle.
5) stay away from Fast Foods. (No matter what people may say some people loose on it and others wont.) Studies are linked to issues with thought process and everything you listed.
6) research foods and research habits.
7) Build your database of knowledge.
8) Enlist positive friends that inspire you.
9) Never say I cant do it. With dedication and motivation anyone can achieve anything with practice and work.
10) This is the last one, Dont ever give up on a dream you have for yourself and drive forward and achieve success.
Help start you on your journey
http://authoritynutrition.com/how-many-calories-per-day/0 -
Good luck to you on your journey. And I'm not gonna lie, you've got a long journey ahead of you. But don't look at it as a whole, just take it one step at a time.
Lots of good advice to be had here, and lots of BS too. The basics are this though...
1. Weigh, measure and log EVERYTHING you put in your mouth.
2. Move more. Even if you are doing leg lifts while you watch TV. Do SOMETHING.
3. Find people who will hold you accountable. Not just cheerleaders, but people who will bust your balls if you start slacking.
If you can do those three things, then you stand a good chance of success.
As far as the drunk driving thing goes... Life is about the choices we make. Some people make sucky choices and learn from them, and some people never learn from them. I hope you have learned from them and won't make them again.0 -
Reaching out is the first step in helping yourself out of the dark place. I am older than you, married with kids, so I don't experience the lonely times. I have the guilt of knowing that I need to lose this weight for my family. Even though we have slightly different struggles, we are on similar journeys. I am happy to talk if you want.0
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First thing, yes you made a huge mistake, but it sounds like you served your time and are remorseful for it. Now consider it a lesson learned, never repeat it, and move forward. You can’t keep beating yourself up for what happened in the past.
I am sure many will offer advice for the next step. All I can suggest is what worked for me. Which began with coming up with a game plan to get healthy, both mentally and physically. First stop would be a doctor’s visit to get the depression/anxiety sorted, and make sure you are healthy to exercise. After that, think of a physical activity you would be interested in doing. It can be training for a 5k, getting out on a bike, hiking, softball, flag football, hockey, etc… whatever you are the most interested in. Look for a group that revolves around that activity and look into joining them. It will get you out of the house around new people who share interest in something other than drinking, drugs, or sleeping all day.
From there just log EVERYTHING you eat and drink and don’t sweat if you go over sometimes. It takes time to find a balance and eat healthy. Keep positive and don’t be afraid to ask for support or motivational help. It is hard work and there will be rough times, key is to know it will pass.0 -
Hey Nick,
Welcome to MFP. You have served your time for your bad choice, now it's time to start moving in a more positive direction.
The basics: Log everything, be honest with yourself, be as accurate as possible. Be patient, don't try to be perfect. Be consistent.
Here's some good information to help you out, take some time to read over the links
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1234699-logging-accurately-step-by-step-guide?hl=logging+step+guide
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1235566-so-you-re-new-here?hl=so+you're+new+here
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
Good luck to you0 -
I think it took a lot of courage to come right out and tell people about yourself like that, I can`t relate in every aspect but I do understand your anxiety and feeling defeated by the things that have happened. I feel confident that you`ll make great changes for yourself, and I wish you the best of luck!0
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Nickwilly,
I've been where you are [not the specifics, but the statistics]. In fact, I waited until I was 397 and many years older to do something. The good news, is you are younger and smaller! I'm down 101lbs so far. I look forward to seeing your ticker hit this mark! This whole trip has been about learning wellness, caring for myself, good eating habits, and quite frankly getting my life right with God. I'm certainly not perfect, and won't pretend I am, nor judge anyone else who isn't.
We're all on a journey. Happy to help each other along and celebrate what matters to you. I hope to see you begin to move in that direction. Just reaching out here, is a step in that direction. I hope you will come back and invest in yourself and others here. Pretty soon, you will be motivating others who were in the pit we were in.0 -
First thing, yes you made a huge mistake, but it sounds like you served your time and are remorseful for it. Now consider it a lesson learned, never repeat it, and move forward. You can’t keep beating yourself up for what happened in the past.
I am sure many will offer advice for the next step. All I can suggest is what worked for me. Which began with coming up with a game plan to get healthy, both mentally and physically. First stop would be a doctor’s visit to get the depression/anxiety sorted, and make sure you are healthy to exercise. After that, think of a physical activity you would be interested in doing. It can be training for a 5k, getting out on a bike, hiking, softball, flag football, hockey, etc… whatever you are the most interested in. Look for a group that revolves around that activity and look into joining them. It will get you out of the house around new people who share interest in something other than drinking, drugs, or sleeping all day.
From there just log EVERYTHING you eat and drink and don’t sweat if you go over sometimes. It takes time to find a balance and eat healthy. Keep positive and don’t be afraid to ask for support or motivational help. It is hard work and there will be rough times, key is to know it will pass.
I second this advice!
The first step towards a better life is coming to the realization that you need to make a change. So you're already making progress!
Definitely seek out people who share your same goals in your local area so you can make friends and have that social life your craving and this time with people who are heading in a direction you want to go. Are there walking groups or weight loss groups or any other kind of activity groups that sound fun? What about taking a class in something that sounds fun/interesting to you? Or maybe weight watchers support group meetings would be good? Go give a bunch of things a try and stick with the ones that inspire you to keep moving forward and are a positive force in your life.
Also, set an appointment with a doctor who can give you a checkup, address any medical needs you have, and support you through the journey your starting on. Having a doctor who believed in me has been invaluable.
Since you mentioned living alone right now...Just a thought from my own experience (ignore if not a fit good for you) but adopting a dog can be a great way to make walking/getting exercise less annoying. Its much more fun when you have a buddy who is excited to go and do stuff any time you are. My dogs are great motivators for me and I love coming home to someone who are ALWAYS ready to give me unconditional love and attention. Pets are a lot more reliable than people in this area as far as I'm concerned Anyhow just a thought.
I'm excited to hear about the positive things and new directions you will take in the future. Good Luck!0 -
Wow a lot of comments appreciate it. I actually went out and premade meals today. so accomplishing a little thing like that, does make you feel good! Sorry to all, who suffered someone getting hurt by a drunk driver. No law or punishment is equal to taking a life. it was a major set back for me. As one guy said, yes it may have been a blessing in disguise I was stopped.. I have not drank in 5 years. Someone said they cannot relate at all. I'm happy for them the anxiety of depression is a silent killer. Good advice on measuring your body going to order a tape from amazon. love amazon. and My favorite advice keep positive! thanks again great community here.0
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Thank you, for taking time to write that out.0
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The past is behind you, and the future is yours to take. You should take it a day at a time and use this community as a guide to continue to stay on the right track.0
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Wow a lot of comments appreciate it. I actually went out and premade meals today. so accomplishing a little thing like that, does make you feel good! Sorry to all, who suffered someone getting hurt by a drunk driver. No law or punishment is equal to taking a life. it was a major set back for me. As one guy said, yes it may have been a blessing in disguise I was stopped.. I have not drank in 5 years. Someone said they cannot relate at all. I'm happy for them the anxiety of depression is a silent killer. Good advice on measuring your body going to order a tape from amazon. love amazon. and My favorite advice keep positive! thanks again great community here.
Nick, lets me friends. I know how anxiety can take over your life. I also know how to overcome it. My advice, come here for support, get outside for some fresh air, and count your blessings! God Bless you!0 -
Hi Nick, my name is Lisa feel free to add mom on daily trying to lose my last 27 pounds0
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