This lifestyle change is murdering me mentally

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  • rayonrainbows
    rayonrainbows Posts: 423 Member
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    i totally understand. my boyfriend's got high blood pressure and is super sensitive to salt. fortunately, we never eat out, and i cook with mostly all whole foods. but put that on top of being vegetarians living in nicaragua (limited food selection already), and i feel like salt was controlling our food lives at first.

    he just realized how salt sensitive he was about 2 months ago. at first it was like every meal was a battlefield. i'd cook. he'd "complain" about salt. he's super sweet and i knew it wasn't a personal attack, it just got old really quick.

    it reminds me of when i turned vegan back when i was a teen living with my family. at first, i'd have to check the labels on everything: does this bread have eggs? does this whatever have dairy products? etc etc. of course, practice and patience, and you figure it out. you also realize that one little slip isn't going to make or break you, so long as you keep trying.

    even if you went over your sodium "goal" by a few hundred mgs, think of how INSANELY much better that is than the 1000s of extra mgs of sodium you were consuming almost every.single.day. before you started trying to get it under control!

    it takes time to get used to things. but soon you won't have to ask with every single loaf of bread "how much salt?" because you'll already (at least intuitively) know, and it'll get easier!

    try not to let it control your life, or you might derail. just accept it as the learning and improving process it is, just like weight loss.

    btw congrats on your loss thus far! you can do this :)
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
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    In controlling what I eat and watching every single ounce, I feel like I'm slowly going mad. The more control I gain over how and what and how much I consume, the less in control of everything else I feel.

    Maybe it's because I'm old enough to be your mother, but I think you should listen to your mother. Rome wasn't built in a day. You are not going to be perfect every day. Chill out and relax. Find foods that you enjoy that fit your plan and then ENJOY them. Going over a little now and then is not ideal, but it's not the end of the world. You are still doing so much better than before, right? You are making progress, right?

    Stress can be just as damaging to your health as poor diet. Calm down. Work your plan. You'll get there.

    One thing that concerned me though was your sodium intake. Did your doctor recommend only 1200 mg? The reason I ask is that cutting sodium too low while on a diuretic could cause your blood sodium levels to drop to dangerous levels. This happened to my husband. He was put on a diuretic, then decided on his own to cut sodium from his diet. The combination landed him in the ER.
  • neon7girl
    neon7girl Posts: 230 Member
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    I would not stress so much about the sodium..it's a goal! Some days you will be under, others over.

    I'd recommend the American heart Assoc Low salt cookbooks....they have EASY & AWESOME recipes. And give you all the nutrient breakdowns- one less thing to think about.

    It takes time but this will become more habit and you won't have that need to check in so frequently. Take a deep breath..you've got this.
    j
  • bootssowhite
    bootssowhite Posts: 93 Member
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    It gets so much easier. When I first started dieting, I would turn down invitations to hang out with friends and even a few weekend trips because I knew I wouldn't be able to control what food was available. I can vividly remember being invited over for lunch by one of my students, working out what the likely calories would be in advance and crying because it was so many (in hindsight, it wasn't actually that many) and I didn't want to be rude and I knew they were cooking something special for me, but the thought of screwing up that badly stressed me out so much.

    I don't feel that way anymore. It's gotten much easier. The more you learn about food, the easier it gets. I no longer have to spend hours looking up what the proper serving sizes and what the calories/macros are in certain foods because I've learned it. I've accepted that it's going to take a while to lose this weight, and that's okay. I added some calories back into my diet (I'm now aiming for 1.5 pounds a week instead of 2) and while it means it's going to take longer, I can use those extra calories to make meals fun again and that extra wiggle room means that a small slip up doesn't send me over my daily calories.

    You're making a huge change and that's difficult to do cold turkey. Slow, sustainable progress is better than making drastic changes that you can't keep up, and if your doctor doesn't understand that or support that, she sounds like a d-bag and you might want to get a second opinion. (Not about needing to lose weight, but the best way to go about it.)
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
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    One other suggestion I have is to try the Mrs. Dash type no-salt seasoning blends. They can really help make your meals tasty without salt. Fresh herbs are also a good way to add flavor without salt.
  • MegE_N
    MegE_N Posts: 245 Member
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    It sounds like you're trying to go from 0-60 in no time flat. For me, it was a slippery slope. I started aiming for 1500 calories and more workouts. That became comfortable after 2-3 weeks, so I went down in calories a bit more and upped my workouts. Now I'm at 1200-1400 calories per day (I prefer aiming for a range rather than a hard number, means my anxiety is far lower) and I feel comfortable.

    Just because your doctor is being blunt and - it sounds like - lacking compassion doesn't mean you shouldn't slow down, take a breath, and remember that MFP is about finding what works for you and what will continue to work for you 3 years from now.

    Best of luck!
  • rayonrainbows
    rayonrainbows Posts: 423 Member
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    One other suggestion I have is to try the Mrs. Dash type no-salt seasoning blends. They can really help make your meals tasty without salt. Fresh herbs are also a good way to add flavor without salt.

    yes!

    also someone mentioned the salty perils of hot sauce earlier.
    i've traded out most of our hotsauces for cayenne pepper and/or a homemade vinagre-based-chile-diablo-hotsauce that's salt-free
  • JustAnotherGirlSuzanne
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    You lost 9 pounds, girl! The doctor should be super impressed!
  • rachelrb85
    rachelrb85 Posts: 579 Member
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    It takes some time to adjust and get used to it, but it will get easier until it becomes a habit. Don't get so discouraged if your diary goes red a little bit, you are human and it's only one day. Tomorrow is a new day. If you have to go low sodium for health reasons, try to stick with fresh fruits, veggies, and lean meats for the majority of meals. Try to limit packaged foods since they are usually packed with sodium. Search out lower sodium options in the grocery store. Think about all the reasons why you need to change your lifestyle and keep reminding yourself of these.
  • Joannah700
    Joannah700 Posts: 2,665 Member
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    One other suggestion I have is to try the Mrs. Dash type no-salt seasoning blends. They can really help make your meals tasty without salt. Fresh herbs are also a good way to add flavor without salt.

    yes!

    also someone mentioned the salty perils of hot sauce earlier.
    i've traded out most of our hotsauces for cayenne pepper and/or a homemade vinagre-based-chile-diablo-hotsauce that's salt-free

    Or if you're looking for that 'zest' or 'tang' of salt.

    Vinegars or citrus. Balsamic vinegar, fresh lime, or lemon juice. These are your friends.
  • Sun24Spot
    Sun24Spot Posts: 4 Member
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    Take a look thru MarksDailyApple dot com for ideas to help in dealing with the stress and appetite triggers. He is very real world common sense not hardline at all.
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
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    Well done for losing 9lbs already, you're clearly doing something right, and your doctor will see that.

    It takes time to get used to eating in a different way, but you will get to a point where you instinctively know what to eat every day that will keep you within calories, sodium, carbs etc.

    It is very rare that I go over on sodium, so it can be done. I am English though, so maybe we have less sodium in our food. I also don't eat much processed food.
  • leomcdee
    leomcdee Posts: 60 Member
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    It *is* for your health but it seems to me like your doctor could learn some compassion. I understand s/he wants to motivate you, but jeez...

    Anyway, you are doing REALLY well and you don't need to obsess about the numbers (easier said than done I know). If you go a little over one day, you're still at a deficit, you're still gonna lose, so it's fine. Take it one goal at a time, don't try to do everything at once, it's a marathon not a sprint.

    Lots of luck!
  • hbart8158
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    I read somewhere that it takes a month to form a habit. You seem so dedicated to this process, I really think you'll find it easy to reach that mark. When that happens, you wont have to think about it so much, making the right decision to reflect the "numbers" correctly will just automatically happen out of habit.

    I would say try not to worry so much, but I know with some people it's simply useless to tell them so. Take deep breaths and a moment to close your eyes and clear your head sometimes though, you almost sound worried enough I worry you have anxiety problems, and deep breaths can help with anxiety and blood pressure.

    My Aunt is a fitness fanatic, so this might not be right for you, but if you're really concerned about your numbers before you go to work out than do a work out in the morning. She gets up at 4:30 in the morning to go for a run before work. I'm far less intense than that, as I have bum knees I have to be careful of. Sometimes though, I elect to walk to work, and it's one less thing to worry about the rest of the day.

    Your new doctor, while probably right that you should loose weight, sounds like a jerk. People who lose weight slowly are more likely to keep it off, so even if you don't quite hit your calorie goal some days, remember that. It doesn't all have to happen at once, it has to be a lasting change and that's what will really make a big difference in your life.

    I've also noticed that myfitnesspal has a problem with sugars. FRUIT IS GOOD! But yes, it has sugar in it. However, there's a big difference between natural sugar in fruits and added sugar in processed foods. Or so I've gathered, so I've removed the sugar tracker altogether to keep myself sane. The red numbers really are anxiety sparking.
  • ButterflyJaneDB
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    I think you should be proud of yourself for the 9lb weight loss which will hopefully be more when you get back to your doctor in October. You did not put the weight on overnight, so it will take time to come off but you have made a great start already. Stick with the tracking and don't obsess about going in the red. I keep sticking to the calories and will worry about the levels when I get further into this.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    I'm not sure how much control you have over your food choices as it sounds like you're living at home but if you are buying your own foods, as others have said, try avoiding the prepared foods as much as you can.

    For instance, instead of the WW oatmeal, cook a big batch of homemade oatmeal (sans added salt) and split into portions for the week. I personally love steel cut oats and cook a batch in the crock pot most weekends with sweet potato, apple, cinnamon and/or other goodies mixed in, then I bring a serving with me to work for breakfast or snack. Just as handy as instant and much better for me.

    Try to avoid some of the other typical high sodium culprits like deli meat, cheese and soups - or at least try to go for the low(er) sodium versions. Learn to read labels and compare different brands because sometimes low sodium of one brand isn't that much lower than the regular version of another brand. The great thing about tracking is that you can identify the worse products and do some research to find a better alternative.

    Best of luck and try not to stress about your follow-up. I'd think she'll be quite pleased with your progress so far!
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,817 Member
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    Thank you all so much for your words of support! I have a sneaking suspicion that this Doctor will roll her eyes and tell me to suck it up, that it's for my health and don't I want to be healthy?

    Perhaps I'm just being a bit negative about the whole thing right now. This is a wonderful community, thank you!

    If your eye-rolling doctor has a problem with it, maybe she should recommend a Nutritionists you can speak with? I hate that they threw these numbers at you, but didn't give you a list of foods to eat/not eat.

    If your doctor wants you to have limited sodium, try to back off the processed foods and opt for something more natural.
  • auntiebabs
    auntiebabs Posts: 1,754 Member
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    Because I feel like a -failure- when my numbers go red,
    I felt like then until I realized that even a bad day on MFP was better than any day before I started tracking.

    So your not perfect, but you are doing better.
    (I also kept a excel sheet of my daily over and under amounts, so that I could see patterns. I noticed that if I was over my calories, sometimes it was because I was significantly under 2 or 3 days before that... So it all comes out in the wash.)

    I was also much happier once I set myself a range.
    ________
    1200 cal = rock bottom
    -1lb/wk = mid-range (once this number gets near 1200, it time to go down a catagory to -1/2 lb/wk)
    Maintain Goal weight Calories = High end

    Safety Valve = Maintain Current Weight (means I shouldn't gain)

    I lost very slowly, but consistently using this method, but wonder if I shouldn't have been even slower.

    I've got a theory that if I went to 200 calories less than Maintain My Goal Weight I would only have to relearn how to eat once. instead of relearning to eat to lose then again to maintain.
    (If my daily goal is 200 calories less than maintain my goal weight, then I've got 1400 calories to play with when a special occasion comes up... and there is always something. How may times a year do you hear, but you only do this once a year... Birthday, Xmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, 4th of July BBQ, Anniversaries, etc...
  • boxingurl
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    I'd say take a breather and realize that some days you will go a little bit over and somedays you will be under your goal. If by the end of the week your still at or below your goals as far as calories, sodium, etc then your doing just fine. It doesn't mean take liberties in your diet and exercise but realize that each day is going to be different and that's okay. You're obviously already on the right track! I too am 26 and weigh 260lbs! I just started a few days ago and I've lost an inch on my hips but practically no weight loss yet. I might need to steal some ideas from you lol.

    Anyways, its all about your attitude. Realize that the weight loss is for you and not your doctor. Your doctor is your health advisor not your diet dictator. Therefore listen to what s/he is saying and find ways to mold your habits around that advice at a pace that keeps you motivated and stress free. Bad stress affects weight just as much as food/ lack of exercise. So bust out some yoga pants or rake a sand garden but don't let stress get ya, march to your own beat girl, you will get there! This site is your guide not a boot camp instructor. Let the site guide you to making good food decisions and help you to see what types of exercises help you achieve your goals. Have fun in your dieting. I'm a horrible cook so I'm using my diet to learn to cook a bit and to try different foods and seasonings. For exercise, I started taking my bored pooch for a walk in a local animal refuge she loves it and I love getting away from all the drama of the city. Some days I also do Zumba which is pretty fun. Changing your lifestyle can be fun, it doesn't have to be a second job! ^_^

    Snack/Lunch Idea for you (high fiber, low sodium)
    A snack or mini lunch of bottled water with crystal light, KIND plus granola bar (any plus flavor), yoplait flavored yogurt, and 1 cup of rasberries contains:
    430 calories(30% of 1400)
    141mg sodium(11% of 1200) < entire mini meal less than a 4 pack of reese's cups, what?!?! lol
    11g of fiber (45% dv)
    566mg of potassium(about 16% dv)

    You can have yummy stuff, packed with good midday energy boosters, that won't be stressing you out!
  • gonzanab
    gonzanab Posts: 117 Member
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    I know you're going through a rough time, but just remember that you're strong and you'll get through it. You should see it in a positive aspect rather than a negative one. You're trying to make positive changes to your health. I know it can be stressful at times, but take it a day at a time. You can do it!