This lifestyle change is murdering me mentally
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Take a look thru MarksDailyApple dot com for ideas to help in dealing with the stress and appetite triggers. He is very real world common sense not hardline at all.0
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Well done for losing 9lbs already, you're clearly doing something right, and your doctor will see that.
It takes time to get used to eating in a different way, but you will get to a point where you instinctively know what to eat every day that will keep you within calories, sodium, carbs etc.
It is very rare that I go over on sodium, so it can be done. I am English though, so maybe we have less sodium in our food. I also don't eat much processed food.0 -
It *is* for your health but it seems to me like your doctor could learn some compassion. I understand s/he wants to motivate you, but jeez...
Anyway, you are doing REALLY well and you don't need to obsess about the numbers (easier said than done I know). If you go a little over one day, you're still at a deficit, you're still gonna lose, so it's fine. Take it one goal at a time, don't try to do everything at once, it's a marathon not a sprint.
Lots of luck!0 -
I read somewhere that it takes a month to form a habit. You seem so dedicated to this process, I really think you'll find it easy to reach that mark. When that happens, you wont have to think about it so much, making the right decision to reflect the "numbers" correctly will just automatically happen out of habit.
I would say try not to worry so much, but I know with some people it's simply useless to tell them so. Take deep breaths and a moment to close your eyes and clear your head sometimes though, you almost sound worried enough I worry you have anxiety problems, and deep breaths can help with anxiety and blood pressure.
My Aunt is a fitness fanatic, so this might not be right for you, but if you're really concerned about your numbers before you go to work out than do a work out in the morning. She gets up at 4:30 in the morning to go for a run before work. I'm far less intense than that, as I have bum knees I have to be careful of. Sometimes though, I elect to walk to work, and it's one less thing to worry about the rest of the day.
Your new doctor, while probably right that you should loose weight, sounds like a jerk. People who lose weight slowly are more likely to keep it off, so even if you don't quite hit your calorie goal some days, remember that. It doesn't all have to happen at once, it has to be a lasting change and that's what will really make a big difference in your life.
I've also noticed that myfitnesspal has a problem with sugars. FRUIT IS GOOD! But yes, it has sugar in it. However, there's a big difference between natural sugar in fruits and added sugar in processed foods. Or so I've gathered, so I've removed the sugar tracker altogether to keep myself sane. The red numbers really are anxiety sparking.0 -
I think you should be proud of yourself for the 9lb weight loss which will hopefully be more when you get back to your doctor in October. You did not put the weight on overnight, so it will take time to come off but you have made a great start already. Stick with the tracking and don't obsess about going in the red. I keep sticking to the calories and will worry about the levels when I get further into this.0
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I'm not sure how much control you have over your food choices as it sounds like you're living at home but if you are buying your own foods, as others have said, try avoiding the prepared foods as much as you can.
For instance, instead of the WW oatmeal, cook a big batch of homemade oatmeal (sans added salt) and split into portions for the week. I personally love steel cut oats and cook a batch in the crock pot most weekends with sweet potato, apple, cinnamon and/or other goodies mixed in, then I bring a serving with me to work for breakfast or snack. Just as handy as instant and much better for me.
Try to avoid some of the other typical high sodium culprits like deli meat, cheese and soups - or at least try to go for the low(er) sodium versions. Learn to read labels and compare different brands because sometimes low sodium of one brand isn't that much lower than the regular version of another brand. The great thing about tracking is that you can identify the worse products and do some research to find a better alternative.
Best of luck and try not to stress about your follow-up. I'd think she'll be quite pleased with your progress so far!0 -
Thank you all so much for your words of support! I have a sneaking suspicion that this Doctor will roll her eyes and tell me to suck it up, that it's for my health and don't I want to be healthy?
Perhaps I'm just being a bit negative about the whole thing right now. This is a wonderful community, thank you!
If your eye-rolling doctor has a problem with it, maybe she should recommend a Nutritionists you can speak with? I hate that they threw these numbers at you, but didn't give you a list of foods to eat/not eat.
If your doctor wants you to have limited sodium, try to back off the processed foods and opt for something more natural.0 -
I felt like then until I realized that even a bad day on MFP was better than any day before I started tracking.Because I feel like a -failure- when my numbers go red,
So your not perfect, but you are doing better.
(I also kept a excel sheet of my daily over and under amounts, so that I could see patterns. I noticed that if I was over my calories, sometimes it was because I was significantly under 2 or 3 days before that... So it all comes out in the wash.)
I was also much happier once I set myself a range.
________
1200 cal = rock bottom
-1lb/wk = mid-range (once this number gets near 1200, it time to go down a catagory to -1/2 lb/wk)
Maintain Goal weight Calories = High end
Safety Valve = Maintain Current Weight (means I shouldn't gain)
I lost very slowly, but consistently using this method, but wonder if I shouldn't have been even slower.
I've got a theory that if I went to 200 calories less than Maintain My Goal Weight I would only have to relearn how to eat once. instead of relearning to eat to lose then again to maintain.
(If my daily goal is 200 calories less than maintain my goal weight, then I've got 1400 calories to play with when a special occasion comes up... and there is always something. How may times a year do you hear, but you only do this once a year... Birthday, Xmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, 4th of July BBQ, Anniversaries, etc...0 -
I'd say take a breather and realize that some days you will go a little bit over and somedays you will be under your goal. If by the end of the week your still at or below your goals as far as calories, sodium, etc then your doing just fine. It doesn't mean take liberties in your diet and exercise but realize that each day is going to be different and that's okay. You're obviously already on the right track! I too am 26 and weigh 260lbs! I just started a few days ago and I've lost an inch on my hips but practically no weight loss yet. I might need to steal some ideas from you lol.
Anyways, its all about your attitude. Realize that the weight loss is for you and not your doctor. Your doctor is your health advisor not your diet dictator. Therefore listen to what s/he is saying and find ways to mold your habits around that advice at a pace that keeps you motivated and stress free. Bad stress affects weight just as much as food/ lack of exercise. So bust out some yoga pants or rake a sand garden but don't let stress get ya, march to your own beat girl, you will get there! This site is your guide not a boot camp instructor. Let the site guide you to making good food decisions and help you to see what types of exercises help you achieve your goals. Have fun in your dieting. I'm a horrible cook so I'm using my diet to learn to cook a bit and to try different foods and seasonings. For exercise, I started taking my bored pooch for a walk in a local animal refuge she loves it and I love getting away from all the drama of the city. Some days I also do Zumba which is pretty fun. Changing your lifestyle can be fun, it doesn't have to be a second job! ^_^
Snack/Lunch Idea for you (high fiber, low sodium)
A snack or mini lunch of bottled water with crystal light, KIND plus granola bar (any plus flavor), yoplait flavored yogurt, and 1 cup of rasberries contains:
430 calories(30% of 1400)
141mg sodium(11% of 1200) < entire mini meal less than a 4 pack of reese's cups, what?!?! lol
11g of fiber (45% dv)
566mg of potassium(about 16% dv)
You can have yummy stuff, packed with good midday energy boosters, that won't be stressing you out!0 -
I know you're going through a rough time, but just remember that you're strong and you'll get through it. You should see it in a positive aspect rather than a negative one. You're trying to make positive changes to your health. I know it can be stressful at times, but take it a day at a time. You can do it!0
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Firstly, I am super impressed that you push through your workout regimens despite your limitations. I admire that so much and am inspired by your story!
Secondly, and this is good news.... I believe you have now pinpointed the real reason you became overweight.
And that's good, because when you know the "why's", you can start to implement healthy "how's" in such a way that fixes the real problem.
Most people who are "morbidly obese" (your doctor's words) are compulsive overeaters with an unhealthy dependency upon particular foods or food behaviors for their sense of emotional well-being. It's not necessarily at the forefront of our minds, but way deep down in our subconscious we "use" food almost like a drug to deal with strong emotions such as stress, anger, sadness, loneliness, and yes...even happiness! When we eat our foods of choice (like, cookies, in my case), we feel better (for the moment). When we don't have access to them, we feel an overwhelming compulsion to find them and eat them. And the world is not right until we do.
I had this problem myself so I'm very familiar.
When you remove the foods that you have depended upon for so long out of your diet (and therefore out of your body and brain), everything in you becomes very uncomfortable...almost painful - emotionally and physically. This produces tremendous Anxiety. Your brain is desperately seeking ways to cope with this new stress. And since you've traditionally used food to comfort that stress, but are now trying to abstain from food, you get caught up in a panic that manifests itself in all manner of ways.
One of the most common ways it manifests itself? Obsession.
Again - you are discovering right now that your emotions are being pulled to the very surface of your life...they are being exposed....raw and sore. This produces an Anxiety you've probably not experienced before. You are seeking ways to cope with this, to stabilize your inner world. This is normal and natural. The problem is that you're mistakenly seeking peace, comfort, and "normalcy" through that unhealthy mode of control called "obsession".
Obsession is a fixated passion: "If I can just do this PERFECTLY then everything will be alright!" "If I don't do this perfectly, everything will fall apart!"
Neither are true.
But this matters not when you're caught up in it. All you can do is fixate.
My guess is that you probably always had a bit of an obsessive side anyway, even if it was lurking below the surface. It's probably just bleeding out right now due to the strong emotions you're experiencing.
The best thing you can do is to combine your doctor's visits with visits to a therapist who specializes in women's healthy and body issues. It is best not to tackle this on your own and with the limited information and emotional resources you have at this moment. There is nothing wrong with talking to someone about your insides just as much as your outsides. You CAN learn to manage obsession, compulsive eating, and you can have a healthy relationship with food, even if you must eat a bit differently than you used to. So have hope! There is a happy and peaceful future for you...you just need to seek and find it. :flowerforyou:0 -
Feeling like you're obsessing over numbers will get easier once you learn which foods fit best into your calories and macros. Soon you'll have better eating habits established so you wont even have to think twice about most of the things you eat!0
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Approach your sodium goal gradually. Figure out what you normally have been eating. Cut it down my 100mg every week. Very few people get out of bed one morning and go, gee I think I'm going to run a marathon today. It takes months (years even) of practice and preparation. A healthy lifestyle is the same way. If you try to go the whole way right off the bat, you're sabotaging yourself and it's a recipe for failure.0
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It sounds like you've gone from a "laissez faire" doctor to a total scary dictator doctor. Neither one is particularly helpful in the long run imho. The numbers she's given you are very drastic and would probably be unrealistic for most patients. I imagine she only sees the success stories and not the ones who just give up and are too scared to come back!
The great thing is you are making good progress. Over-restriction itself can contribute to obsessionality. Loosen up a bit, keeping in mind your overall goal to have a calorie deficit most days and keep eating fewer processed foods to bring down your sodium.0 -
One recommendation that I don't think I saw is to pre-log your food each day. I do the best at sticking to my goals when I sit down the night before and plan out what I'm going to eat the next day and enter everything. That way, I can see where I'll be under/over and tweak things to make sure I hit my goals. That way, you're not approaching each meal as a potential day-ruiner. Instead, you're eating something you know will work with the rest of your day.
It will take some trial and error, but remember that you're aiming for progress, not perfection.0 -
I was on blood pressure meds for many many years. This past year I lost 45 pounds and am now off the meds. In this process I did not obsess over much(certainly not sodium) except calorie intake. By all means, watch your sodium but I would not obsess over it. Focus on a calorie deficit, once you lose a good amount of weight, I am sure your blood pressure will go down. Best of Luck!0
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Try Penzy's for salt free seasonings too (there are 2 in Cleveland). Alos try their Cinnamon in oatmeal or on cottage cheese. I prefer the Vietnamese but they are all good.0
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I have a terrible compulsion with getting so focused on achieving my goals fast that I obsess and then, when I predictably fall short of my goals, I get so disappointed and disillusioned and disgusted with myself I throw in the towel and give up. So I've been trying to combat that attitude this time. One thing I've been doing is to keep a list of quotes from other people (mostly MFP-ers) and read it when I start to obsess. I just added one quote to it today from this thread. Maybe it will help you (and my apologies for not keeping track of who said what, so I can't give credit where credit is due )
•Tips: Respect your body and fuel it accordingly. Don't rush...it'll take however long it takes. This needs to be for the rest of your life, so just relax and enjoy watching the changes as they come
•Going off your diet one day and binging a week is like tripping on the first stair and then throwing yourself down the staircase
•Get rich quick, be stupid and lose it all and more; or slow, educated wealth-building (i.e., pound-loss) that lasts
•"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying I will try again tomorrow".
•You can set your target to lose 2 pounds a week, but if you only last 2 months, you'll lose 16 pounds total. If you set your goal to lose 1 pound a week, which gives you more calories to play with, after a year you'll lose 52 pounds0 -
I think you'll find once you've been doing it a bit longer you will stress less, when it becomes more of a habit. I find I don't obsess constantly like I did when I started.
I get your pain with the exercise thing. My Dr told me due to my scoliosis my lung capacity isn't great. I can barely run 30 seconds until I get so out of breath it hurts. Such a pain when trying to get fit. Hang in there.0 -
One recommendation that I don't think I saw is to pre-log your food each day. I do the best at sticking to my goals when I sit down the night before and plan out what I'm going to eat the next day and enter everything. That way, I can see where I'll be under/over and tweak things to make sure I hit my goals. That way, you're not approaching each meal as a potential day-ruiner. Instead, you're eating something you know will work with the rest of your day.
It will take some trial and error, but remember that you're aiming for progress, not perfection.
This is exactly what I do. I sometimes tweak it during the day (oh! the snack room has Baked Lays...totally having some, but cutting out blah blah later on).
I find it very helpful!0 -
One does have to get a bit obsessive and it's an especially annoying adjustment to make in the beginning. But honestly, since getting used to logging and learning how many calories are in most things, I can maintain without even using this site. I still need to log my food daily to lose.0
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It's been 10 days and you lost nine pounds. Stick with it.
Also, talk to your doc about the sodium stuff--perhaps you just need some good, go-to meals that aren't high in sodium so you don't have to think about it so much.0 -
i may have missed something in the OP (or subsequent posts), but why the focus on sodium?
if there is an existing BP issue that was mentioned and i missed it, i do apologize.0 -
i may have missed something in the OP (or subsequent posts), but why the focus on sodium?
if there is an existing BP issue that was mentioned and i missed it, i do apologize.
yes, she said she has high blood pressure and the Dr. wants her to stay at 1200mg of sodium/day.0 -
What started off this rant and why do I say it's murdering me mentally? Because I feel like a -failure- when my numbers go red, like they did today in sodium.
Two thoughts...
#1: In most things in life, we learn from our failures. That's what happened today, you failed. FAILED. This doesn't mean that you're a failure, it just means that you learned something today about that thing you ate for lunch. You wouldn't have known it if your attempt had worked, you only learned because it failed. Failure is how Edison invented the light bulb. FAIL is a good thing. You are doing so well, that these little learning experiences can't erase how much good that you're doing.
#2: When you can, use MFP as a pre-planner. Decide now what tomorrow is going to be like and type in those foods into tomorrow's diary. This will give you a heads up and allow you to make changes before you consume the food. You can even plan all of next week's work lunches based on your past experiences.
You are doing great! Keep it up!0 -
i may have missed something in the OP (or subsequent posts), but why the focus on sodium?
if there is an existing BP issue that was mentioned and i missed it, i do apologize.
yes, she said she has high blood pressure and the Dr. wants her to stay at 1200mg of sodium/day.
ah ok. i saw the quote that the dr said she needed to lose 100 lbs so she needed a low sodium diet.
seems i misunderstood and missed some things.
thanks!
edit: wow, its like her 2nd statement. lol better brush up on my reading this weekend.
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Also, talk to your doc about the sodium stuff--perhaps you just need some good, go-to meals that aren't high in sodium so you don't have to think about it so much.
Good advice. In the USA, this is difficult because a lot of our pre-packaged foods, restaurant fare, and convenience foods are loaded with sodium.0 -
Can I rise in defense of this doctor?
In 20 years as an obese diabetic, I've never had a doctor want to see my food log, including my current GP.
It wasn't until my bariatric surgeon assigned it as homework (due the next week) did I get serious about logging and sent me down this road to non-surgical weight loss. My BMI went from 41.6 to 34.9 in just over 60 days.0 -
Your mental health is just as important as your physical health and anything that stresses you out this much is not going to be sustainable in the long run. I would talk to your doctor and see if it's okay to use your target numbers as a guide. Some days you will be slightly over, some under, but hopefully you will get the okay to ease up a little on viewing them as do or die. If your doctor can't work with you to find something that works better and doesn't drive you crazy, maybe you can get a second opinion? You're already way ahead of the game by being aware and making meaningful changes to get healthier. I don't want you to get derailed by being to hard on yourself or too worried about being right on target if you don't have to be. Hang in there, I hope you do well.0
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I had to stop MFP for about a year because it made me obsessive to a pathological degree. Do what you feel is best for you. There is no way you will be able to stick with anything if you are affected psychologically, and it will start interfering with your everyday life. I hate to sound dramatic, but it can be true.0
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