Obsession

loribethrice
loribethrice Posts: 620 Member
in Motivation and Support
Does anyone else feel like this is causing them to have an eating disorder? I've been doing this for 10 months now and I am so obsessive about my calories that if I even eat a little over I completely panic and go into a hate spiral. I have always talked to myself negatively, but it gets a lot worse on my rest days from the gym and any day that I go over my calories (which is less than once a month).

Replies

  • radcas11
    radcas11 Posts: 76 Member
    I don't feel like I have an eating disorder, but I know that I obsess about my calories and making sure I count everything. I've been diagnosed with OCD though so I know what my issues are. I use to be completely crazy about the gym as well, but once I realized that missing a day isn't going to kill me, I got over it.
  • loribethrice
    loribethrice Posts: 620 Member
    I don't feel like I have an eating disorder, but I know that I obsess about my calories and making sure I count everything. I've been diagnosed with OCD though so I know what my issues are. I use to be completely crazy about the gym as well, but once I realized that missing a day isn't going to kill me, I got over it.

    I give myself 2 days off from the gym every week, but I can't get past the calorie thing at all. I won't eat anything unless I know exactly how many are in it and if you can't tell me then I can't eat it. It's driving me insane.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    With "this", you mean calorie counting, or MFP, or meal planning in general? I think the eating disorder or OCD came first, and just established itself in a different way - for instance first overeating and then undereating - the point being: going from one extreme to another.

    You should give yourself some slack. Really, be just as kind to yourself that you are to other people in your life. Do you have someone, a professional, to talk to about your feelings?
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    I've been maintaining here for over three years. I don't feel like it's obsessive. To me, it's kind of like a game. It keeps me organized and on track. I don't freak out if I go over occasionally and I don't feel distressed when I think about food and calories. If I miss a day every now and then, it's no biggie. Try to remember that it's not an exact science. You can still succeed even if you aren't perfect. Whenever you think you need a break, you can always just go on maintenance until you're ready to start again. You've got to change your mindset so it doesn't stress you out and become more harmful to you than helpful. :flowerforyou:
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    ...It's driving me insane.

    If this is truly distressing to you, it might not be the right method for you. Consider consulting a therapist that specializes in eating disorders.
  • loribethrice
    loribethrice Posts: 620 Member
    With "this", you mean calorie counting, or MFP, or meal planning in general? I think the eating disorder or OCD came first, and just established itself in a different way - for instance first overeating and then undereating - the point being: going from one extreme to another.

    You should give yourself some slack. Really, be just as kind to yourself that you are to other people in your life. Do you have someone, a professional, to talk to about your feelings?

    By "this" I meant counting calories. It would be the same with or without MFP. It just makes me be hypervigilant. I can honestly say I've never overeaten, lol. I have an eating disorder called SED (selective eating disorder) so food is torture for me. I have a lot of food phobias.
  • loribethrice
    loribethrice Posts: 620 Member
    I've been maintaining here for over three years. I don't feel like it's obsessive. To me, it's kind of like a game. It keeps me organized and on track. I don't freak out if I go over occasionally and I don't feel distressed when I think about food and calories. If I miss a day every now and then, it's no biggie. Try to remember that it's not an exact science. You can still succeed even if you aren't perfect. Whenever you think you need a break, you can always just go on maintenance until you're ready to start again. You've got to change your mindset so it doesn't stress you out and become more harmful to you than helpful. :flowerforyou:

    I just have a massive fear of gaining my weight back. I try to give myself a day once a month where I go over my calories a bit so I don't torture myself, but it's hard because I have regretted it every time I've done it. I've seen a lot of people on here recommend cheat days though, so I've always attempted to do it. I just really want to lose these last 14 vanity pounds that seem to be taking FOREVER to go away. It gets me so frustrated and discouraged.
  • katieamy88
    katieamy88 Posts: 6
    Hi Hun,

    I have the same issues, in that I "HAVE" to log every single thing which I eat, without a day off, and I panic if I think I won't be able to do so or if I go over my calories. I haven't been able to adjust to maintenance calories either, so I'm still eating at a rate to lose weight as I just can't get my head around the fact that if I eat more than that, I won't just put weight back on!

    I wish I could offer you some good advice, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone in feeling this way and even though you feel like you're going insane, I think it's more common than you would imagine, especially if you have a predisposition to OCD, anxiety, food issues etc.

    I hope you find a way to feel better about things soon!
  • MoveitlikeManda
    MoveitlikeManda Posts: 846 Member
    I have OCD tendancies (is that how you spell it?)
    and normally manage to keep my self on an ok level with them.

    since start calorie counting iv gone mad,
    Its even set of my hand washing again which id curbed for a while and i now carry anti bac hand gel in my hand bag again, weighing and messuraing are my biggest thing right now and like you if i cant find exact claories i wont eat it.

    We had lunch at the pub the other week, i had to guess the calories and then was so stressed over it i posted about it and did an extra 40mins at the gym.

    Im hoping that once iv been at it a while it will settle down a little.

    Iv even had arguments with my husband because he does not weigh, he just kinda guesses, this sends me crazy and iv not even got to eat what he is making.

    I think your first thing, is you need to start enjoying you rest days, go for a walk around a park, go see a film or something so you have enjoyed the day but have been busy and not had time to think "omg, iv not been to the gym today"

    i know its not easy to break the train of thought once its there but it needs breaking so you dont get to far with it if that makes sense, is easier to break the habbit/obbsession earlier than it is alot later down the line x
  • loribethrice
    loribethrice Posts: 620 Member
    Hi Hun,

    I have the same issues, in that I "HAVE" to log every single thing which I eat, without a day off, and I panic if I think I won't be able to do so or if I go over my calories. I haven't been able to adjust to maintenance calories either, so I'm still eating at a rate to lose weight as I just can't get my head around the fact that if I eat more than that, I won't just put weight back on!

    I wish I could offer you some good advice, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone in feeling this way and even though you feel like you're going insane, I think it's more common than you would imagine, especially if you have a predisposition to OCD, anxiety, food issues etc.

    I hope you find a way to feel better about things soon!

    I'm sorry you deal with it too! It's hard!
  • loribethrice
    loribethrice Posts: 620 Member
    I have OCD tendancies (is that how you spell it?)
    and normally manage to keep my self on an ok level with them.

    since start calorie counting iv gone mad,
    Its even set of my hand washing again which id curbed for a while and i now carry anti bac hand gel in my hand bag again, weighing and messuraing are my biggest thing right now and like you if i cant find exact claories i wont eat it.

    We had lunch at the pub the other week, i had to guess the calories and then was so stressed over it i posted about it and did an extra 40mins at the gym.

    Im hoping that once iv been at it a while it will settle down a little.

    Iv even had arguments with my husband because he does not weigh, he just kinda guesses, this sends me crazy and iv not even got to eat what he is making.

    I think your first thing, is you need to start enjoying you rest days, go for a walk around a park, go see a film or something so you have enjoyed the day but have been busy and not had time to think "omg, iv not been to the gym today"

    i know its not easy to break the train of thought once its there but it needs breaking so you dont get to far with it if that makes sense, is easier to break the habbit/obbsession earlier than it is alot later down the line x

    You sound like me with the extra gym time. I went out to eat with coworkers after work a few weeks ago and I ended up doing an extra hour at the gym because I went over my allotment by like 100 calories. It's hard not to panic, especially when you've worked so hard to lose weight and you don't want to gain any back.
  • alska
    alska Posts: 300 Member
    I am obsessed too ... n i'm getting more n more obsessed. If something says 40 for 100 calories, I count out 40. I now check the calories of things before I evevn buy them. But I never thought of it as being a eating disorder.
  • loribethrice
    loribethrice Posts: 620 Member
    I am obsessed too ... n i'm getting more n more obsessed. If something says 40 for 100 calories, I count out 40. I now check the calories of things before I evevn buy them. But I never thought of it as being a eating disorder.

    I do that too. I count everything out and I won't buy anything that's over 160 calories at a time so I can make sure that I stay within my limit. I get a lot of weird looks at work because if a package says that 17 pretzels = 50 calories then I will count out 17 pretzels.
  • healthyhayles
    healthyhayles Posts: 44
    Unfortunately, this is exactly where I need to be careful as I've just started up with MFP (or more to the point, calorie counting). I don't know if I'll do it consistently, as I myself have recovered from an eating disorder however sometimes I'll have flare ups. I'm trying this for the time being to see how I go, but I'm aware that if it gets to the point where I'm becoming obsessive, I'll need to stop.

    However, I do love how we can all chat through different forums and encourage other. It's good to remember we're not the only ones feeling certain ways, or having certain thoughts about food and counting calories etc. It's great to have a community, and that's what originally drew me to MFP. :)
  • glasshalffull713
    glasshalffull713 Posts: 323 Member
    You must try and learn to take a more balanced approach. I know this is probably harder for you than most, but you should work to find a way because even after you lose the 14lbs, you will have to maintain forever, and if it is so stressful for you, you will need to find a healthy way to look at things or you will drive yourself crazy!

    Try to remember it is not black or white. You have a set calorie deficit and if you go over your daily goal by 100, this will not STOP your loss, just slow it down slightly. That is only 1/350th of a pound! If you do that every day, your weight loss will slow down. Once a week, it would be imperceptible. Even if you ate 500 calories over, assuming you are eating at a 500 cal/day deficit, you would only break even, not gain. And if you did that once during the week, you would still have a 3000 calorie deficit that week which is nearly a pound of weight loss.

    I actually envy your ability to be so precise. My lack of discipline in that area makes things a lot harder and slower for me. Maybe you should try looking at your weekly deficit instead of daily. That will give you a much better overall impression of your status anyways.

    It sounds like your issues are deeper though, and you should seriously consider speaking with a counselor who specializes in these issues and/or a nutritional health and wellness coach who can help you form a healthier relationship with food.
  • glasshalffull713
    glasshalffull713 Posts: 323 Member
    I am obsessed too ... n i'm getting more n more obsessed. If something says 40 for 100 calories, I count out 40. I now check the calories of things before I evevn buy them. But I never thought of it as being a eating disorder.

    I don't think what you described is a disorder. I think you are just being diligent. I think the disorder plays in when there are extreme feelings of guilt and inability to ever stray from your numbers, and feelings of stress that the OP described. Those types of thought patterns and self talk are unsustainable and unhealthy. (disclaimer: I am not a qualified dr. this is just my opinion!)
  • loribethrice
    loribethrice Posts: 620 Member
    Unfortunately, this is exactly where I need to be careful as I've just started up with MFP (or more to the point, calorie counting). I don't know if I'll do it consistently, as I myself have recovered from an eating disorder however sometimes I'll have flare ups. I'm trying this for the time being to see how I go, but I'm aware that if it gets to the point where I'm becoming obsessive, I'll need to stop.

    However, I do love how we can all chat through different forums and encourage other. It's good to remember we're not the only ones feeling certain ways, or having certain thoughts about food and counting calories etc. It's great to have a community, and that's what originally drew me to MFP. :)

    I do agree that the forums are great! I hope that you are successful and don't have to worry about relapsing with your ED! :)
  • loribethrice
    loribethrice Posts: 620 Member
    You must try and learn to take a more balanced approach. I know this is probably harder for you than most, but you should work to find a way because even after you lose the 14lbs, you will have to maintain forever, and if it is so stressful for you, you will need to find a healthy way to look at things or you will drive yourself crazy!

    Try to remember it is not black or white. You have a set calorie deficit and if you go over your daily goal by 100, this will not STOP your loss, just slow it down slightly. That is only 1/350th of a pound! If you do that every day, your weight loss will slow down. Once a week, it would be imperceptible. Even if you ate 500 calories over, assuming you are eating at a 500 cal/day deficit, you would only break even, not gain. And if you did that once during the week, you would still have a 3000 calorie deficit that week which is nearly a pound of weight loss.

    I actually envy your ability to be so precise. My lack of discipline in that area makes things a lot harder and slower for me. Maybe you should try looking at your weekly deficit instead of daily. That will give you a much better overall impression of your status anyways.

    It sounds like your issues are deeper though, and you should seriously consider speaking with a counselor who specializes in these issues and/or a nutritional health and wellness coach who can help you form a healthier relationship with food.

    I'll try your weekly deficit approach and see if it helps! That may be a something that works. I have seen many therapists throughout my life and even attempted an eating disorders clinic because I've had one since I was a toddler. You can read information about that here if you want to know more: http://mealtimehostage.com/2012/12/13/picky-eating-vs-selective-eating-disorder/

    Unfortunately it should have been taken care of when I was a child, but it wasn't something that was well known in the 80s and 90s. I was deemed too complex at the eating disorders clinic so I have just been dealing on my own.
  • sensitivefool
    sensitivefool Posts: 343 Member
    Go speak to a counselor about it. This seems to truly upset you. Talking to a professional will help.

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