The Success of a Spunky Punky Jersey Peach

My gym epiphany today: My measurement of success has nothing to do with the weight I've lost or the size pants I wear. It's that I can count more days that I love myself than I don't and more days that I'm proud of myself than I'm not. And none of that comes from a scale or a tape measure...it comes from overcoming obstacles I never thought I would and and reaching goals I never even dreamed of.

So, after almost two years of hard work and MFPing (I've been Punky and Jersey Peach in the past), I'm finally comfortable enough to post my success story. Yes, I'm going to post it in the forums AND on my blog...because I'm a rebel...not really...because I don't want to lose it and not be able to find it later.

I started this at 185 pounds.

This was me in October of 2012. (As Punky...come on, you knew there had to be a picture of it somewhere! lol)



Quite honestly...this is the girl I hated. Everyone would still try to tell me I was pretty. (Or, as one doctor relished in telling me, pretty for a fat girl.) But, I was miserable. I hated the mirror. I hated myself. There are no half naked before pics, because I sure as hell didn't want anyone to see me like that!

For those who don't know, I have Lyme Disease and I had a stroke (because of it). My doctors told me I needed to lose weight, but that I needed to do it just through restricted diet and light walking...anything else was too much for my body and I would hurt myself. I really did figure they knew what they were talking about, but quite honestly I also gladly accepted that as an excuse to be lazy. I hated my pain...but I also used my pain as a reason to say, "See?! I CAN'T do anything about this."

But I could.

There were two things that really got me moving.

One - I honestly got sick and tired of people telling me, "Maybe if you lose weight you're Lyme Disease won't be a problem anymore." Dude, really? I mean, I'm the queen of excuses...but I think it's safe to say that THAT'S not true! lol So, I wanted to prove them wrong. I'm ornery like that.

Two - My ex husband lost a lot of weight after our divorce. My daughter came home one day and said, "Mommy, Daddy's not fat like you are anymore!" That stung. Not gonna lie.

Sooooo...when some friends started going to a "miracle" doctor in December 2012 to do the HCG diet, I followed along. 800 calories a day (eating clean) and killing myself on the treadmill. The pounds were DROPPING. Sweet! Right? Or not...

I didn't feel good. My always strong hair and nails started breaking and splitting. I felt more tired and in pain than I ever had just from the Lyme.

I was already on MFP, but didn't have friends. I mean, seriously, people? Who needs friends on a FITNESS site??!! Sheesh. ;-) So, I started going into the forums. I started asking questions. I was told *almost* unanimously that I was doing it all wrong. I needed to eat more. I needed to cut back on the cardio. I needed to start lifting. I could eat what I want, as long as it fit my macros (IIFYM for the win!!!). I even learned what macros were! lol But...but...how could I eat more??! I was SOOOOO FULL!!!

Suck it up, cupcake. You didn't get fat being full on 800 calories. So just do it.

Everyone was so mean!!!!

Thank God. They may have saved my life.

So, I signed up for a physical trainer at my gym in February of 2013. I had already dropped almost 30 pounds...and I was at 40% body fat. Seriously. Freaking FOURTY PERCENT. That's what being a cardio queen and not eating did to me (besides all the other things I already mentioned).

I learned from my trainer.

I learned from my friends (those REALLY mean people, I mentioned before? Yeah...we're still friends...amazing what being willing to listen will do...)

I ate. I went from 800 calories to 1400 calories to 1500 calories to 1600 calories...and I was STILL losing weight AND fat.

I lost 60 pounds (seriously 1/3 of myself). I lost 18% body fat. I gained muscle. I looked great in clothes.

This was me by November of 2013. Not bad, right? I'd do me. ;-) jk lol



And all through this I still hated myself. I hated looking in the mirror.

Why was I working SOOOOOO hard and I still hated myself??! Why didn't I have the body that I dreamed of?! Why didn't I look like my amazing friends on here?!

Everyone told me it was loose skin and that there was nothing I could do about it. Honestly, until about 2 weeks ago I didn't believe them. I still kept trying to lose weight. (Btw...I'd just like to point out that in one paragraph, I used the proper uses of loose and lose...some people should take note and learn from this...just sayin'...lol)

What finally changed that for me was looking at pictures of people before and after tummy tucks after massive weight loss. Seriously...if you are at all in doubt about the difference between fat and skin, DO THIS. It's eye opening.

And, so I'm finally at maintenance. I'm still busting my fine little rear in the gym.

But now I'm loving myself.

This is me. This is my success. Extra skin and all. Muscle and all. Beauty and all. Strength and all.















People say "No one is perfect."

Not true. I am. I'm perfect every day that I get up, I fight the odds against my illness and I WORK for what I want. I'm perfect every day that I try to be the best version of myself that I'm capable of.

And, if you're reading this, you're perfect, too. Because you've taken/are taking the steps necessary to be the best version of YOU that you can be.



P.S. In case anyone was wondering...Lyme Disease is NOT cured by weight loss...lol