Ever been asked if you are pregnant but you weren't ....?

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Tanie98
Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I have people asked me if I was pregnant when I gained weight but I didn't bother me and I didn't get offended.The was even one time this lady at work said "you are not pregnant , are you? when i said no she was like "you gained weight" !However today I asked a lady from my work if she is pregnant then she told me that she is not and everyone has been asking her.She just gained weight


I then apologize and she told me not to worry about it.She didn't seem offended
The other lady who was there said she got asked before and it doesn't bother her.

So do you take an offense if someone were to ask if you are pregnant when you are not?
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Replies

  • Mischievous_Rascal
    Mischievous_Rascal Posts: 1,791 Member
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    I was never asked, but I was once told to put down my Guinness because of the baby. I told her I was fine and baby free. And then I smiled and asked her why she looked so uncomfortable...
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
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    Yes, I would be offended. If I was pregnant enough to be showing, and we know each other, you'd probably have heard about it already. It's not your business to know if you weren't told and you could just be flat out wrong. It's really rude to just march up to someone and ask that question.
  • aethre
    aethre Posts: 150 Member
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    A colleague once asked me that. I was a touch offended, but I was suffering with IBS at the time and was super bloated. It prompted my decision to cut out wheat products for a while!

    Also, I discovered after the fact that she was undergoing IVF at the time so she had baby bumps on the brain, bless her. I couldn't feel bad once I knew that.
  • hillmorgan21
    hillmorgan21 Posts: 3
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    Ive been asked twice before...once 3 days after I had my first son, so I wasn't offended because I did still look pregnant. The second time was when my younger son was 4 and I didn't look pregnant AT ALL. It was just the way my shirt was tucked in. I was offended because when I politely said "no" the old lady was like "oh, well, you look like it". That was when I told her that it was extremely rude to say that and that SHE looked about a hundred.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
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    I was asked once. I could tell my co-workers were very uncomfortable. It made me realize I was carrying more weight in my stomach area than I thought. I'd thought it was pretty equally balanced.

    The girl was so embarrassed and her pity and apologies weren't helpful, because then I had to continue the conversation and reassure her. I just wanted to move on.

    I wasn't offended, but it wasn't my favorite moment ever.
  • Teresa_3266
    Teresa_3266 Posts: 298 Member
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    I had a customer in yesterday that I wanted to ask sooooo badly but bit my lip. The last thing I would want to do is offend someone I'm trying to get money out of. :happy:

    I once worked in this children's store and was hanging up baby clothes when a nice older man patted my fat tummy and asked me when I was due. I told him in about three months and I was really hoping for a boy. :bigsmile: :wink:
  • LaReinaDeCorazones
    LaReinaDeCorazones Posts: 274 Member
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    No, but there are some women that I see around a lot that I wonder if they are, I would never ask though so I'll just keep on wondering.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    He didn't ask, but a guy gestured top my stomach and offered me his seat on a train yesterday. I was tired and the train was packed, so I thinked him and took it. Pregnant looking chubby belly for the win!

    ... and the added bonus, because I smiled, said thanks and took him up on it, he will continue to be polite and offer ladies his seat rather than being scared to, which he might have been if I'd taken offence at his kind gesture and rejected his offer.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
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    Chibukalu908, is that you?
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    I've never been asked, and I think it's because even at my heaviest I had the "B" shaped belly which doesn't look pregnant, just fat.

    Actually, a lot of women I've known with that kind of belly shape were disappointed when they WERE pregnant that most people didn't notice 'til the very end of their pregnancies, I think because the fat kind of makes it look like two rolls, instead of a big round typical pregnancy belly.
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 9,986 Member
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    I've never been asked, but the night my father died, my brother picked me up at my dorm room, and when we got to the hospital the nurse behind the admitting desk immediately directed us to the maternity ward. We had to tell her no, we were looking for our father in the intensive care unit. She was obviously embarrassed, and I'm guessing she was a little slower to make that assumption in the future. I was horrified by (1) her cheery, congratulatory attitude in the midst of my terror that my father was dying, (2) her assumption that my brother was my husband or SO (although to be fair we don't look much alike), and (3) her assumption that I was pregnant (I was barely overweight at the time, with a BMI of about 25.7, but I was wearing a heavy ski-type jacket), in that order, although I wouldn't swear that the pregnant thing was a distant third.

    I wouldn't be offended if someone asked, but I would think they were terribly rude. That's just not the kind of thing you ask somebody, and not only or even primarily because they might be offended by being told they look like they could be. It's a terribly personal thing to ask someone. If she is pregnant, and she wants you to know, she'll tell you. Maybe she's not telling anyone until she reaches a certain stage in her pregnancy. If she doesn't want you to know, it's none of your business, unless you're her doctor or some other medical professional inquiring in an official capacity.
  • IrisFlute
    IrisFlute Posts: 88 Member
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    When my daughter was 4 years old, she went up to a (NOT pregnant, but quite overweight) woman in a bookstore and asked, "Are you pregnant or are you just fat from food?"

    Thank god the woman laughed. I was so embarrassed I could hardly breathe!
  • tonileighsteele
    tonileighsteele Posts: 13
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    He didn't ask, but a guy gestured top my stomach and offered me his seat on a train yesterday. I was tired and the train was packed, so I thanked him and took it. Pregnant looking chubby belly for the win!

    ... and the added bonus, because I smiled, said thanks and took him up on it, he will continue to be polite and offer ladies his seat rather than being scared to, which he might have been if I'd taken offence at his kind gesture and rejected his offer.

    GOLD! I've done the exact same thing, twice!!!
    The first time my partner was worried that I would be offended but i was just like, oh, ok. Thats what I look like now. The second time was part of the reason I've decided to get my weight under control! I seem to mainly carry weight around my belly. Luckily it was also that first place lost the weight! No more seats on the train now :(
  • healthygreek
    healthygreek Posts: 2,137 Member
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    The one time I was asked if I was pregnant was 3 months post partum with my baby in my arms at a large family gathering.
    I guess I was hormonal cause I cried. I was only 22 at the time and was wearing a new dress and up until that moment, I was pretty pleased with the weight I had lost since having the baby.
    DON'T ask people!
  • lorib642
    lorib642 Posts: 1,942 Member
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    I have. Once by the school crossing guard. I had been steadily gaining weight and she was so embarrassed I couldn't be offended. Another time I was at a wine tasting event and a stranger asked. I would have just let it go except I didn't want her to think I was drinking while pregnant. I didn't get offended though. I know I am big.
  • sarahfishy
    sarahfishy Posts: 14
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    I wasn't asked if I was pregnant, but once I wore a dress that cinched above my waist, like a long baby doll dress, and a woman offered me a seat on the train. I was 18 at the time, I wasn't carrying anything and have no physical disability so I think she must have offered me the seat thinking I was pregnant...

    :indifferent:
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    I've never looked pregnant - when I gain weight it's an even distribution all over, not concentrated in the belly. If someone asked me if I was pregnant I wouldn't be offended, but I would definitely see it as a wake up call to get myself back in shape. :flowerforyou:
  • itsbasschick
    itsbasschick Posts: 1,584 Member
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    a coworker once asked me if i was pregnant, and when i told her know, she said teasingly "oh, i know you - you won't let on till you've had the baby". i felt humiliated and shamed, and replied "i'm not pregnant - i'm fat."

    she was as mortified as i was.

    btw, at the time the only part of me overweight was my belly. the rest of me was pretty trim, which made it stand out more.
  • mlh37214
    mlh37214 Posts: 517 Member
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    I was once asked that question and replied, "nope, I'm just fat." The person who asked looked mortified. I never wore the empire waist top that I had loved up to that point, again! And I'm thinking she probably never asked that question again. Rule of thumb...I wouldn't ask someone that, unless you (1) know them pretty well, or (2) are 99% sure they are. Just a thought. I wasn't offended, per se, but it was someone that I only knew in passing and I was a more than a little annoyed, and had some hurt feelings about it.

    Those of us who are large, and particularly who carry it in the mid-section, are fully aware of it. No need to point it out!!

    (On a slight side note to the main topic, I work with psychiatric patients, and had a psychotic woman keep trying to touch my stomach b/c she was convinced that I was pregnant...I just had to laugh at that. My coworkers who witnessed it were mortified on my behalf!! A fully functioning person touching my stomach - I would take major offense to that!!!)
  • Daphnerose86
    Daphnerose86 Posts: 77 Member
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    On several occasions. It's usually not the question but how the respond when I say no that is upsetting. I've had someone tell me that I better get a pregnancy test because they were positive I was pregnant. It's one thing to simply ask the question, it's another to argue it like that. I just assume they are not until they tell me otherwise.

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