severly Lost and troubled

lobo2617
lobo2617 Posts: 3
in Motivation and Support
So I was on a very good schedule, where i was eating clean and working out like crazy and lossing weight steadily. But then about 3 weeks ago, my house got broken into, 3 times in three weeks..and needless to say eveything has gotten ruined. My eating schedule had gone to flames as well as my sleeping schedule as well, and i started eating a lot of bread and rice and mainly like sushi or rather a LOT of asian cuisine. I still tried to chose things that Would benefit my body and all but then i eat dessert like 3 times a week where as i used to eat it once a month. Then i started to look into Intermittent fasting and it was actually interesting but i would fast on days i either ate really bad or a lot! .

I also just recently got into a relationship, it's my first one if a very long time and i forgot how often you go out to eat. I also try to make good choices but dessert kills me. I went from working out 5 days a week to maybe 3-4. Im not sure how to get back on track im so lost and im starting to get my life back in order but i just feel absolutely horrible and guilty for eating so bad, on days i workout i don't feel to bad but still i dont feel good since im not eating clean. and i know i gained maybe about 2 or 3 pounds i know it doesnt sound like a lot but that's a good 3 weeks of very hard work that has gone to flames.

My question is if anyone knew how to get back into it, i want to start losing weight again especially since im so close, but im not sure how to go about it. I've upped my water intake like crazy as well as my green tea intake but im not sure on what else i can do. does anyone have any suggestions? please and thank you!

Replies

  • SnuggleSmacks
    SnuggleSmacks Posts: 3,731 Member
    I can relate. My beloved dog of 14 years passed away a couple of weeks ago, and I pretty much stopped working out and making good food choices...but I gave myself permission to eat whatever I wanted and to be lazy for a while so that I could mourn, and now I feel that I've done that long enough, and it's time to get back on the healthy wagon.

    You've been through something extremely stressful. Plus, you're right about new relationships...sharing food, or "breaking bread," is as old as humanity. So why not enlist your new partner's help? Plan in advance which restaurant you're going to, and be prepared with a few good choices. Log it in advance, if necessary, if that helps you stick to it. Glance through the desserts and see if any fit your goals, possibly if you split it...and if not, skip it. Perhaps you could suggest something else, like frozen yogurt. Plan some active dates which involve exercise, even if it's just a walk through the park. Hiking, mini golf, real golf, biking, running, skating, disc golf, etc. are all fun with a partner.
  • IrisFlute
    IrisFlute Posts: 88 Member
    Hi. First, congrats on the new relationship. That's a good development! When your life is disrupted, by good things or by bad things (and having your house broken into is seriously traumatic), then focusing on weight loss can easily get sidetracked.

    Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend who shared these worries with you. You've just had some big changes happening. Gradually pull yourself back together and think long-term: a year from now, the few pounds you gained during this turbulent time won't matter at all.

    Let your new sweetie become a support to you, so if you go out to eat maybe you could both skip dessert, for instance. Show how you're working towards an even more exciting body.

    Be gentle with yourself. All will be well - write down the baby steps to get back to where you were.
  • lobo2617
    lobo2617 Posts: 3
    Im so sorry for your dog, My dog that i had for 6 years was taken from me as well and that killed me also. That's a very good idea, im going to try to incorporate that into our dates and maybe do something active but fun i didn't really think about that.

    I may be doing what you did, giving myself permission to eat what i want since i've been severly depressed, and just try to get things situated as well as find another place to live. When you did that, did you feel guilty? How did you deal with it if you did?

    Thank you so much for your input, im going to take your adive in stride and see if i can get my feet on the ground with my health! :)
  • lobo2617
    lobo2617 Posts: 3
    Thank you so much Irisflute!!!

    you make a very valid point, maybe concentrating to much on the me now is getting me more down then focusing on the me i can become in 5 months. Thank you so much for responding i've talked to my friends about this but they all tell me to eat and not worry about every little thing and just enjoy eating what i want. which is appreciated but it doesnt help me feel less guilty. but it's nice that i have support from my fellow fitness pals that have gone through something simillar, im going to try to skip dessert as well, need to learn what "in moderation" Means again and if i get dessert try for frozen yogurt and share it! :) . Thank you again for your answer I'm actually looking forward to the rest of the week now and feel better for the past couple days :)
  • SnuggleSmacks
    SnuggleSmacks Posts: 3,731 Member
    Did I feel guilty? Absolutely not. I haven't done anything wrong. I made food choices which were less than optimal, but that's not "wrong" and certainly not something you or I or anyone should feel bad for. Now that I've taken the time to process my loss to the point where I can at least function normally, I can go back to making more ideal food choices and working toward my goals.

    Developing a good relationship with food is important. Not viewing foods as good or bad is a start. Viewing foods as more or less optimal, or as easy to fit in your macros or hard to fit in your macros, can definitely help. Even cake, ice cream, pizza and burgers can be part of your healthy diet when you eat reasonable portions and plan ahead to fit them in.

    Good luck with the relationship! A good partner can be a huge source of support and inspiration!
  • godswill206
    godswill206 Posts: 48
    My question is if anyone knew how to get back into it, i want to start losing weight again especially since im so close, but im not sure how to go about it. I've upped my water intake like crazy as well as my green tea intake but im not sure on what else i can do. does anyone have any suggestions? please and thank you!

    Develop the disciple for not going out to eat. Or if you're way addicted to them remove them slowly. Remove all junk from the house.
  • redscylla
    redscylla Posts: 211 Member
    Have you considered intermittent fasting? Having 2 days a week when you sharply restrict your calories can allow you more wiggle room the other 5 days of the week. On Monday and Thursday, I stick with 500 calories, so that even on those weeks where I end up going out a few times, I'm still coming in under my weekly calorie goal.

    So sorry about the house breakins. I know how devastating that can be. Sure, the things you own are just things, but it definitely makes you feel violated and unsafe. Go ahead and acknowledge that and feel the grief of it, but let the new relationship pull you out of it, too.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    Did I feel guilty? Absolutely not. I haven't done anything wrong. I made food choices which were less than optimal, but that's not "wrong" and certainly not something you or I or anyone should feel bad for. Now that I've taken the time to process my loss to the point where I can at least function normally, I can go back to making more ideal food choices and working toward my goals.

    Developing a good relationship with food is important. Not viewing foods as good or bad is a start. Viewing foods as more or less optimal, or as easy to fit in your macros or hard to fit in your macros, can definitely help. Even cake, ice cream, pizza and burgers can be part of your healthy diet when you eat reasonable portions and plan ahead to fit them in.

    Good luck with the relationship! A good partner can be a huge source of support and inspiration!
    Very well said and excellent advice! I completely agree.
    There should be no guilt when eating anything. Sure, some things are healthier for us than others, but guilt is a learned response that can be unlearned, also.
  • wkwebby
    wkwebby Posts: 807 Member
    I gained about 15 lbs with the person who is now my husband (from starting to date to marriage). Only now am I starting to go back down on the scale. We definitely ate out a lot when we were dating, but if I had to do it all over again, I'd cook more for the two of us instead of eating out. I can definitely do healthier versions of everything, and the way to the man's heart is definitely through his stomach! :happy:
  • WJS_jeepster
    WJS_jeepster Posts: 224 Member
    I can relate. My beloved dog of 14 years passed away a couple of weeks ago, and I pretty much stopped working out and making good food choices...but I gave myself permission to eat whatever I wanted and to be lazy for a while so that I could mourn, and now I feel that I've done that long enough, and it's time to get back on the healthy wagon.

    You've been through something extremely stressful. Plus, you're right about new relationships...sharing food, or "breaking bread," is as old as humanity. So why not enlist your new partner's help? Plan in advance which restaurant you're going to, and be prepared with a few good choices. Log it in advance, if necessary, if that helps you stick to it. Glance through the desserts and see if any fit your goals, possibly if you split it...and if not, skip it. Perhaps you could suggest something else, like frozen yogurt. Plan some active dates which involve exercise, even if it's just a walk through the park. Hiking, mini golf, real golf, biking, running, skating, disc golf, etc. are all fun with a partner.

    So sorry to hear about your dog. I just went through that too - 3 weeks ago today. I also gave myself permission to just take a break and get back to it when I am ready. Unfortunately, it's been one thing after another all summer and into last week. I've cut myself so much slack that I've gained 10 pounds. It's tough. Someone once told me that if you wait until your life is perfect and you are totally ready, you'll never even start. It's hard to find a balance between being kind to yourself when things are tough and realizing that there'll always be something. :flowerforyou:

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