Help with 13 y/o daughter

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Gary6030
Gary6030 Posts: 593 Member
in Success Stories
My 13 year old daughter is currently around 5'5" and weighs 220lbs. She is having a difficult time imagining what she would look like thin. Anyone out there with a before and after pic around that starting height and weight? She sure could use the encouragement. Thanks MFP Ladies you are the best!
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Replies

  • cassidystreasures
    cassidystreasures Posts: 116
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    just look for posts with before and after pics, no matter what the height you can see the difference in these people
  • ebkins7
    ebkins7 Posts: 427 Member
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    I'm 5'5" and a former Marine, I garauntee that she will be extremely happy with herself when she gets into a lifestyle that will allow her to one feel better about herself and 2 help her loose the extra lbs in a healthy manner. I encourage you, as her parent, not to encourage DIETING, diets never work. This can lead to poor self esteem and eating disorders. Encourage a healthy, active lifestyle. Eating right and exercise. Make it about changing her lifestyle NOT about dieting. Trust me, from someone who has battled eating disorders most of her life, it's not fun! And only leads to more emotional and physical problems later.

    You can add me as a friend if you wish and maybe I can help inspire her too. Support her, as I know you do!
  • photo_kyla
    photo_kyla Posts: 322 Member
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    I used this website to help get motivated http://www0.weightmirror.com/weightmirror/index.php?id=
  • dlaplume2
    dlaplume2 Posts: 1,658 Member
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    I'm 5'5" and a former Marine, I garauntee that she will be extremely happy with herself when she gets into a lifestyle that will allow her to one feel better about herself and 2 help her loose the extra lbs in a healthy manner. I encourage you, as her parent, not to encourage DIETING, diets never work. This can lead to poor self esteem and eating disorders. Encourage a healthy, active lifestyle. Eating right and exercise. Make it about changing her lifestyle NOT about dieting. Trust me, from someone who has battled eating disorders most of her life, it's not fun! And only leads to more emotional and physical problems later.

    You can add me as a friend if you wish and maybe I can help inspire her too. Support her, as I know you do!
    Well said!
  • bettertracie
    bettertracie Posts: 196 Member
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    That's a tough one... and this is coming from a 25 y/o who was 'encouraged' to lose the weight at and before her age... I've been on the diet rollercoaster my whole life and I wish that someone would have taught me the importance of feeling good in my own skin instead of trying to show me how much better off id be if I just lost the weight. I can remember it really made my anxiety come out and my confidence go away.

    I know this doesn't help at all, but please stop to consider the ideas of what others think her body image should look like, and the effect that those opinions can have on a young girl's self- worth.

    Just coming from one of the lucky ones who was strong enough to do it for me!!
  • LizardIsANerd
    LizardIsANerd Posts: 113
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    Telling her she needs to lose weight at her age will come across as judging her or loving her on the condition that she lose weight. Help her be more active and eat healthier and the weight loss will come on its own. It's been a while since I was an overweight 13 year old... but I was.. and my parents let me know it and I dieted and gained it back repeatedly. (Luckily puberty didn't hit me until 16 and I went from 5'3" to just shy of 5'8" in a few months, which really helped the chubbiness...
  • ka_42
    ka_42 Posts: 720 Member
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    I feel like it's important to encourage young ones that you don't HAVE to be big. I was a big girl from 5th grade until recently. I never realized there was a skinny me in here. I'm 5'3" my starting weight was 195 and today I'm 130 lbs. (feel free to look at my pictures) I understand that telling a young girl she needs to lose weight could come across as judging but I wish someone would have said something to me when I was 13. I knew I was bigger but everyone always told me "you're not fat- just curvy" I felt security in my weight and wanted to stay that way. I'm so glad I got brave and changed.
  • orting514
    orting514 Posts: 153
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    Man i can sure use someone to talk to, i dont have before and after pix but my daughters in a similar boat. Shes 4'11 and over 200 pounds, just for the record she is mentally disabled so as much as anyone,-- doctors, me, friends, teachers, ANYONE! she listens but it gos right over her head and she doesnt take it seriously. Ive taken her to the doc, and she has High Cholesterol, which means shes at risk for Stroke, or Heart Attack, and i tell her, i dont want her to die! but as i said, she listens, but it gos in one ear and out the other. Shes been known to steal food, beg patrons comming out of resteraunts for food saying, "Feed me, my moms starving me", course you take one look at her, and you can see shes morbid obese! rummageing through the garbage cans in town for anyones throw aways, takes food from the food bank, and of course its mostly junk food, and i do have food at home, granted i buy healthy food, and i need to lock up my non perishables, etc. Im sorry for venting, but i need someone to talk to.
    Thank you for your time,
    Carol
  • Gary6030
    Gary6030 Posts: 593 Member
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    I feel like it's important to encourage young ones that you don't HAVE to be big. I was a big girl from 5th grade until recently. I never realized there was a skinny me in here. I'm 5'3" my starting weight was 195 and today I'm 130 lbs. (feel free to look at my pictures) I understand that telling a young girl she needs to lose weight could come across as judging but I wish someone would have said something to me when I was 13. I knew I was bigger but everyone always told me "you're not fat- just curvy" I felt security in my weight and wanted to stay that way. I'm so glad I got brave and changed.

    Well this is inspired by her. She knows she overweight. She's seen me drop over 200lbs and wants to change. She is looking for a mental picture of what she could look like to help her in her journey. As parents my wife and I both have struggled with weight all of our lives. We are doing it with her so its a total life change but its difficult to move forward without a mental picture of the outcome. Thanks for all of your comments. I'm gonna check out the mirror website looks pretty cool.
  • hpsnickers1
    hpsnickers1 Posts: 2,783 Member
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    I thought this was interesting:


    http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3926473&SPShared=TRUE

    This is a girl who decided to get healthy and workout and get fit. It shows you the numbers on the scale aren't important. It's what you do with your body and what you put in it!!

    A diet is giving up control of what you put in your mouth. A healthy lifestyle change is taking control and it's something you can do the rest of your life.
  • Cytherea
    Cytherea Posts: 515 Member
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    I am by no means thin, but here are my "in progress" pics. I'm 5'4 and weighed a little bit more than your daughter starting out. In these pictures, I've lost 45 lbs. Even though I am not anywhere near being thin and just over halfway to my goal weight, you can really see the difference. I wore the same outfit on purpose too, lol.

    BeforeandAfterAri.jpg

    BeforeandAfterMuse.jpg
  • Gary6030
    Gary6030 Posts: 593 Member
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    Carol I'm sorry to hear about your daughter. Because you are dealing with mental health issues her problem is compounded. I will pray for you and that you obtain the guidance and assistance you need to help your daughter.
  • missmiller1
    missmiller1 Posts: 131 Member
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    I posted these photos in another thread. The pictures were taken when I was 13 weighing 200 lbs. at 5' tall, so we are proportionally about the same:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/140660-80-pounds-lost-on-a-long-journey

    This was probably the hardest point in my life to deal with my weight. I didn't realized how big I was when I saw the top two photographs and that really motivated me to change my life.
  • Jennplus2
    Jennplus2 Posts: 984 Member
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    I feel like it's important to encourage young ones that you don't HAVE to be big. I was a big girl from 5th grade until recently. I never realized there was a skinny me in here. I'm 5'3" my starting weight was 195 and today I'm 130 lbs. (feel free to look at my pictures) I understand that telling a young girl she needs to lose weight could come across as judging but I wish someone would have said something to me when I was 13. I knew I was bigger but everyone always told me "you're not fat- just curvy" I felt security in my weight and wanted to stay that way. I'm so glad I got brave and changed.

    I agree. It might be the way that it gets said. Don't say "your fat and need to diet" no one wants to hear that, but I really wish more parents felt the need to educate themselves and their children on how to be healthy. I like vegetable and fruits but never really eat much growing up because "we were poor" or for whatever reason. Now I wish I had learned the way to be healthy by example instead of having to retrain my adult mind to use food as fuel and not as a reward. If you set a good example by eating well, buy healthy food for your household, and encourage more exercise the weight should come off. Once it does start coming off she will feel better, and that will make her want to be even more healthy.
  • alaskagrown
    alaskagrown Posts: 208 Member
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    Have her check out mybodygallery.com-- there are photos of women at every height/weight combo. A cool place to go to see what is possible!
  • orting514
    orting514 Posts: 153
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    Thanks Garry, ive thaught of enrolling my daughter in a fitness camp, but itll cost about 6 grand a month, and obviously thats to much for me. All i can do is just do my best to keep on top of things.
    Carol
  • abyt42
    abyt42 Posts: 1,358 Member
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    myvirtualmodel.com is very interesting, too: you can plug in height and starting weight, then another weight and watch the model change shape
  • taletreader
    taletreader Posts: 377 Member
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    http://mybodygallery.com may be useful.
  • mandiex0
    mandiex0 Posts: 174
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    hello :) i am 16, 5'2, and started at 217. please tell her that right now is a good start, when she gets to high school she will WISH she worked on her weight if she does not start. unfortunately, kids are hard these days. high school is rough, and gym class is miserable.

    http://img7.imageshack.us/i/screenshot20110125at540.png/

    show her those pics^

    and if she wants to talk, im here. i know what it feels like being young and overweight.

    -missmandiex0@aim.com
  • tungaiunwa
    tungaiunwa Posts: 38 Member
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    I used this website to help get motivated http://www0.weightmirror.com/weightmirror/index.php?id=
    neat site

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