Confused and need to lose

I am starting today and I hope to lose 45 pounds. That was so hard to type. I have been battling my weight for the last three years with very limited success. I was always rushing toward some kind of goal - usually to not look fat when I was seeing people who knew me as I used to be. Trying to rush things I tried Dukan, Atkins, egg fasts, the 5-bite diet, Slimfast, the 3-day diet, Jumpstart to Skinny and about every stupid diet pill ever invented to sell to idiots like me. And now here I am at my heaviest ever weight.

I already faced my worst fears and saw many people (who would judge) that I had not in years last month. The gig is up, word is out, I have packed it on. Oddly this makes me feel freer to try and lose weight at slow and sustainable pace.

But all my dieting has left me so confused. I really have no idea what will work for me. I am starting with my macros at 50-25-25 and will see how it goes. My goal is to eat 1200-1500 calories a day. Generally I am quite active, usually walking 3 miles a day but I have been slack while I try to establish a new routine. This macros/calorie configuration actually feels generous to me after all the restrictions I have tried previously.

Ok my Achilles heel is white wine. I really struggle to give it up and when I fail on wine, I tend to overeat. So white wine is out. I am trying to kick all alcohol out. Wish me luck! I need buddies so if you can relate - friend me please.