Sabotage!!!

hmmmm
hmmmm Posts: 607 Member
edited September 18 in Health and Weight Loss
I was wondering if anyone else had someone in their family that intentionally or unintentionally tries to sabotage their way of eating. My sabotager likes to eat, but really isn't that much overweight. He likes fattening food, and his body can metabolize it mine can't. When we have mashed potatoes he adds about one whole bag of shredded cheese in and a small carton of sour cream. I came to the realization that I don't really like potatoes that much anyway and I just don't eat it. We both like wraps which is good for me so I buy the lite ones and I come into the kitchen and he butter both sides heavily and was frying it!! this was for my dinner.... Then tonight I went shopping bought all kinds of good foods (that we both like) and he wants chinese, I said I didn't really feel like cooking anyway so he slipped out the door, without even knowing what I wanted and came back with General tso's chicken. Which I think is probably the worst thing on the chinese menu. I gave in and ate that tonight, because it was too tempting to resist. Looking back I should have paired a few pieces with veggies or something, but I didn't. Thank goodness I really didn't eat much today and only had a couple hundred calories in by then. I love him dearly and really don't take it too personally (this is the way he has always ate and I have just recently tried to free myself of his food habits) I was just wondering if anyone else had this problem?? What do you do?

Replies

  • hmmmm
    hmmmm Posts: 607 Member
    I was wondering if anyone else had someone in their family that intentionally or unintentionally tries to sabotage their way of eating. My sabotager likes to eat, but really isn't that much overweight. He likes fattening food, and his body can metabolize it mine can't. When we have mashed potatoes he adds about one whole bag of shredded cheese in and a small carton of sour cream. I came to the realization that I don't really like potatoes that much anyway and I just don't eat it. We both like wraps which is good for me so I buy the lite ones and I come into the kitchen and he butter both sides heavily and was frying it!! this was for my dinner.... Then tonight I went shopping bought all kinds of good foods (that we both like) and he wants chinese, I said I didn't really feel like cooking anyway so he slipped out the door, without even knowing what I wanted and came back with General tso's chicken. Which I think is probably the worst thing on the chinese menu. I gave in and ate that tonight, because it was too tempting to resist. Looking back I should have paired a few pieces with veggies or something, but I didn't. Thank goodness I really didn't eat much today and only had a couple hundred calories in by then. I love him dearly and really don't take it too personally (this is the way he has always ate and I have just recently tried to free myself of his food habits) I was just wondering if anyone else had this problem?? What do you do?
  • kris2600
    kris2600 Posts: 149
    My husband is kind of that way. He never eats vegetables unless it is in stew or soup (and he rarely eats those) but he does love V-8 juice. He always eats a ton of meat and for every meal that I have fixed in the last two weeks, the only sides he wants are macoroni and cheese, and fried potatoes. Seriously. I just fix myself different sides like fresh green beans and roasted sweet potatoes. I can't get him to eat them so I am always just fixing almost two separate meals entirely. I am sorry that I don't have any advise for you but I do know how you feel! My husband looks great and I am gaining all the weight.:grumble:
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
    He's not trying to sabotage you. He's just living his life. Live yours too. No one is trying to foil your efforts, and you can't expect everyone around you to hop on the bandwagon to healthy eating. That's part of the challenge; you have to resist temptation and stick to your guns no matter what's going on around you. That means making your own food and politely declining what you know isn't good for you.
  • vicky1
    vicky1 Posts: 236
    Speak to him let him know that what he is doing really is getting to you. My hubby is like that he needs to gain a few pounds he has quick metabolism he ate tins of choc over xmas including 2 1kg choc bars he has lost 4lbs there is no logic it isn't fair he also likes chinese so I have spoke to him and we have set a goal and when I reach this goal we will go out to the chinese restaurant without the kids but until then NO chinese not even takeaways that way the more he helps me avoid the biscuit tin the sooner he gets his chinese meal. Involve family you do need them to succeed I had a bad day yesterday and my family got me through it.
    :heart: :heart:
  • MALU6886
    MALU6886 Posts: 33
    oh yeah, we are a big familly with always great food and my husband hates when iam not eating with him:heart: he is so sweet . my solution . i eat one time a day with him. and veeery slow so the plate doesn't get empty so fast:happy: my walks are longer now and my in between snacks smaller ... but i love to eat with him:heart: so . i would say we girls are good in making our hubbys happy:wink:
  • pam0206
    pam0206 Posts: 700 Member
    Haha! I feel your pain, because the bottom line is I really WANT to eat like my husband. My husband and I get a lot of our entertainment from eating (I know, not good), because we have two young girls and we're not really able to go out to the movies, etc. So we end up "picking up" something from a restaurant and eating it at home......

    When I first started really watching my food intake (weighing/measuring) and exercising, I felt dumb for having to do it and guilty for taking the time to exercise. Yesterday I told my husband if he wants a trophy wife, it's going to take effort....So, just tell your dh, I might be high maintenance now, but I'm gonna look good! (and any man likes being with a beautiful woman.) Stick to your guns! GL.:flowerforyou:
  • Gats
    Gats Posts: 42
    Don't know about sabotage, :huh:

    but I've got a Filipina wife (37) who at 4' 10" weighs 88 lbs and can easily eats

    3000 cals a day often a good 1000 just before sleep and never does any excercise

    except argue !!!!!
  • Nich0le
    Nich0le Posts: 2,906 Member
    The issue is that you need to take care of you, just because a thinner spouse can eat like that doesn't mean their heart is very happy. I have a husband and two kids that can eat big meals and never gain but I have just had to make adjustments that are right for me. Plus, I know I can run harder and faster than my husband any day because I exercise everyday and he doesn't, big *kitten* and all, let them eat cake!
  • icandoit
    icandoit Posts: 4,163 Member
    Show them who is the stronger person. Don't let it get to you. Do your thing and do it right:flowerforyou:
  • Melissa19f
    Melissa19f Posts: 5
    You''ve got to take responsbility for your health and well being. No one else can be accountable (unless you are a child). My boyfriend does the same thing and we both want to lose weight. . .lol We went grocery shopping yesterday and he picked up all kinds of cookies, muffins, etc. I do believe that he "tries" to sabotage me because he likes the way I look at my current weight. I try to explain that I need to lose the weight for health reasons, but he just enjoys my hips and rearend to much to understand. . .lol Anyway its my body so i have to step it up and decide that there will be no cookies, ice cream, soda etc. for me.

    Be strong and believe in yourself and your goals.
  • jessjess
    jessjess Posts: 88
    Are our husbands related? :laugh:

    No sabotaging out of meanness....but my husband and I just can't seem to get on track at the same time. When I decided to eat healthy - he walks in the house with 3 grocery bags full of desserts and chips, and wants to go to the chinese buffet for dinner, and when he's trying to get fit, I do the same.

    Finally...we had a talk.....and are TRYING to get on the same page at the same time. It's so much easier to stick to healthy eating habits when your loved ones are doing the same.
  • clcomb3
    clcomb3 Posts: 10
    ya know i was thinking the same thing the other day.my boyfriend is actually jealous im going to the gym and says i have a obsessive personality because i went to the gym three times this week for a hr each time and im on this web site a bit too much...lol i am obsessed about counting my calories lately.i think they just need a little reassurance that your body shape may change however our love for them wont .men are boys at heart
  • JoyceDoerr
    JoyceDoerr Posts: 62
    My hubby can be bad too. We will be sitting watchin TV or something and he will pop off with "Ice Cream (or related fattening food) sure sounds good right now!" and then if I don't respond he will then add "you know you want some"

    My hardest time for resisting is at work. I have co-workers that bring in cookies, brownies, etc and I have to not only see them, but see everyone else eating them!
  • hmmmm
    hmmmm Posts: 607 Member
    Thank you every one for your comments on this topic. I knew at least one person would respond that it is my responsibility to watch what I put in my mouth. I totally agree. Thats what I finally figured out. lol. Its a good thing I do 99% of the cooking because when he used to cook if I didn't eat what he made I got a very disappointed reaction. That's what helped me get this much overweight to begin with. My hubby went on a buisness trip this week (4 days) and in that time I lost 2-3 lbs mostly because I was just cooking for myself and my kids. No mashed potato cravings from him, I do, as others say, make my own side dishes even though it feels like I am making seperate dinners for everyone. I am still on my way to my goal of 235 by valentines day.
  • lockedcj7
    lockedcj7 Posts: 257 Member
    I finally came to the realization that it's all about portion-control for me. I figure that I'm going for 'quality' vs.'quantity' now. That frees me up to eat whatever I want. I've given myself permission to eat the best-tasting foods I can find, as long as I don't pig out. I used to pig-out on food that wasn't really very good and was terrible for my body. (school pizza, fast-food, hot-dogs, etc.) Now I go to a nice restaurant, order my favorite dish and have them put half of it in a to-go box right away. I watch what I eat at work and I don't eat-out often, but when I do, I want what I want. Deprivation isn't a model that works for me.

    I'm from the South and I love country cooking. I've decided that I won't deprive myself of it, I'll just eat a lot less than I used to and exercise more. With that approach, I don't have to worry that my wife (or I) made spaghetti for supper.
  • Cowboy
    Cowboy Posts: 369 Member
    I'm not sure if this helps, but we all get a bit too comfortable with our ruts and routines. Guys especially love routine and when they see their partner doing something "different" it makes us uncomfortable.
    It's not that we really consciously try to sabatoge our ladies, just that we love you and don't want you to change (No matter how many Victoria's secret models we oggle). We forget that you are doing it for your health or for other reasons and think that maybe you will look just a bit too good for us goofballs and someone else will sweep in and take you away. Okay, our egos ARE a bit overinflated and sensitive, but hang in there...involve us. Give us a chance, you know guys always take a bit longer to get on board...then WE are the obsessive ones like it was our idea all along! (Thanks Donna...you are my inspiration!)
    Cowboy
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