What is the person above hiding in their closet?

Silver.spandex jumpsuit

Come out...I've been waiting for you. = )

come in, it's dark...

we'll leave the door cracked

a molly weasley jumper

Thongs

muddy boots

Volumes of secret genetic data that seem to indicate a successful combination of avian and porcine genomes. In the margins on the first page of a draft of a summarizing paper is written, "Now, they'll have no more excuses!"

Bars of soap stolen from hotels