Teenage Daughters

Options
velix
velix Posts: 437 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have two teenage daughters (18 & 14). They are both relatively healthy and within healthy BMI / weight ranges. My oldest daughter goes to the gym with me - she is shy and thought it would help her body image / self esteem. Indeed it did - as she learned relatively quickly that how you feel isn't how thin you are, but how healthy you are. She is the one that introduced me to this site actually.

The trouble I am having is with my younger daughter. She is 5'8 and wears a size 8 ... She looks healthy to me (and my friends), but clothes never fit her right, and she says she feels fat. She has a bit of ... baby weight in the sense that she is not toned or anything - she is 14 - no worries I keep telling her... but all her other friends are really tall and really thin and it makes her feel bad. I have always made the effort to talk to her about body image, healthy bodies, marketing and media... she is smart - but she is human.

The other day, she told me that my calorie counting has been bothering her. She is happy that I am getting healthy (although both girls keep telling not to lose too much weight - they want me to be 'soft' when they hug their mom lol). I am a very chatty person and so I talk a lot when I am home about food - in what I thought were healthy ways - talking about the nutritional value in things etc. Every meal, I weigh, portion and divide my food, count the calories and input it here before eating. My daughter said that it has started to make her feel really self conscious about everything she eats (in a bad way). I try to be supportive, and keep a dialogue open with her, but I am not quite sure what to say ....

Replies

  • OGFleabag
    OGFleabag Posts: 137 Member
    Options
    bump.
  • astepp01
    astepp01 Posts: 4
    Options
    Aww.... Congratulations on the choice you've made to get healthier! :) It's always tough when you have teenagers! We were all one, once upon a time. It's so difficult when they're going through their awkward phases, and they're self conscious about their self image. I would suggest explaining to her why you count your calories, and why you want to lose weight. Maybe tell her that you want to be healthy, and that counting your calories and logging them helps you eat a balanced diet. :) We give the word "diet" such a restrictive definition on a social level. In actuality, EVERYONE is on a diet! Your diet is just what you choose to eat, regardless of whether you count calories, or don't. Maybe you can help your daughter look at your calorie counting not as a restrictive activity, in that you can't have that bar of chocolate because it'd put you over your limit for the day, and in a more positive light, as in "you can have that extra cup of mandarine oranges, and still be within your goals." :D Your girls sound healthy! I'm sure they're perfect. Maybe explain to the younger one that you're not a teenager, and you can't eat like her and be healthy. You need to watch your food intake so you can prevent things like diabetes and heart disease. Hopefully she'll understand, and not feel like there's pressure for her to jump on the calorie-counting band wagon! Best of luck! ♥
  • Leannek74
    Leannek74 Posts: 374 Member
    Options
    Wow, I have two young girls, (one is 3 in two weeks, the other is 9 months old). I've always had weight be an issue around me (my mom is overweight and was always dieting).
    What a spot to be in, I worry about how much my actions and life effect my girls. just wanted you to know I sympathize!

Categories