Comments about being skinny.
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GatorDeb1
Posts: 245 Member
Conversation with a server at Marie Callender's (it was good-naturedly and we were both smiling).
Me: Do you have a low-calorie menu?
MC: We do. Although you don't look like you need it.
Me: Well I look like I don't need it because I do it. If I don't do THAT ::points to menu:: I don't get THAT ::points to stomach::
MC: Yeah I guess you're right.
I was at a religious gathering the other day and took one piece of cake (as in a piece, not a slice) to eat from the cake made to herald in a sweet year (and hence it's symbolic) and to get a taste, but I don't really need a slice, and someone says to me, Are you sure you can afford to eat all that??
Funny how no matter what you weigh people make judgments. I think it's even worse if you're skinny because I think society feels free to make comments about skinny people whereas it's un-PC to make comments about heavier people. I know no server at any restaurant I ever went to when I was heavy ever made a comment about my weight, only my family and people who knew me closely ever commented about my weight, now it seems everyone, even strangers, have an opinion lol (that's just a small sample... oh you're cold? That's because you're so skinny. No, it's because it's freaking cold!!)
People don't realize the amount of hard work and discipline it takes, it doesn't just happen, it's hard!! I don't mind, I just may start becoming more vocal when it happens lol
Me: Do you have a low-calorie menu?
MC: We do. Although you don't look like you need it.
Me: Well I look like I don't need it because I do it. If I don't do THAT ::points to menu:: I don't get THAT ::points to stomach::
MC: Yeah I guess you're right.
I was at a religious gathering the other day and took one piece of cake (as in a piece, not a slice) to eat from the cake made to herald in a sweet year (and hence it's symbolic) and to get a taste, but I don't really need a slice, and someone says to me, Are you sure you can afford to eat all that??
Funny how no matter what you weigh people make judgments. I think it's even worse if you're skinny because I think society feels free to make comments about skinny people whereas it's un-PC to make comments about heavier people. I know no server at any restaurant I ever went to when I was heavy ever made a comment about my weight, only my family and people who knew me closely ever commented about my weight, now it seems everyone, even strangers, have an opinion lol (that's just a small sample... oh you're cold? That's because you're so skinny. No, it's because it's freaking cold!!)
People don't realize the amount of hard work and discipline it takes, it doesn't just happen, it's hard!! I don't mind, I just may start becoming more vocal when it happens lol
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Replies
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i agree. i was super thin growing up. as in, trying to gain weight. (i know, shouldn't complain)
but people were kind of rude about it. one day, my friend, who was a bit overweight, said to me, while laughing "you're so skinny. you would blow away if there was a hard wind." i said, "please don't say something like that to me, it's rude. i never comment on your weight." she said she had never thought about it that way before.
i heard a story similar to yours where a woman was eating a salad and her friend said, "but you're so thin! why not eat a cheeseburger?" she answered, "that's why i'm thin."
i do wonder why people make comments about others' weight, unless of course someone asks for input. it seems rude no matter what. i don't even like telling people they look nice after they obviously lose weight. it's really none of my business, and i'm sure they are doing it for far more reasons that the way they look.0 -
I've been thinking about this, too, because I'm still pretty far from my goal weight, and some of my family has begun chastising me about getting "too skinny". No one EVER said anything when I weighed over 200 pounds, and I assure you, I am much healthier now than then. I don't get it. I actually wish they had been more vocal, in a concerned way, when I was obese.0
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It's absolutely true that people feel free to make comments about skinny women that they'd never make about fat ones.
Real women have curves. Can you imagine if someone popularized the phrase, "Real women aren't fat"? Holy crap, the fur would fly all over.
There is a serious double-standard. It shouldn't be okay to make comments about anyone's body.
I get that fat women wouldn't mind hearing how skinny they were. I SO get that, lol. But it should be as off-limits to discuss someone's skinniness as it is to discuss someone's fatness.
If you wouldn't say, "Ho, Berthat! You're sooo fat! You shouldn't have any cake!", then don't say, "Oh, Minnie, you're so skinny! Have some cake!"
Real women come in all shapes and sizes. They all deserve to be what they are without comments from the peanut gallery.
(Every time I take up for the skinny girls, I get recovering ED people friending me. I love that and am happy to have them! But I have to point out that I'm fat and losing weight, so if anyone wants to friend me, know that I talk about losing. I don't want to trigger anyone!!!!)0 -
Funny you should mention that because I used to be a binge eater.
I'm just afraid one day someone's going to catch me in a bad day and are going to comment on my weight and I'll comment on their weight.
And invariable no one skinnier than me, whatever version of skinny I'm at the moment (and it varies by 15 lbs or so based on how good I'm doing with the binging and whether I'm training for a race or not), ever comments on my weight, it is invariable someone heavier than me, and one day I'm going to offend somebody because I'll say a weight comment back when they comment on mine before I can stop it.
Someone in a walker told me I look like ****. I smiled and moved on. I'm not about to make a health comment on someone on a walker no matter what they said to me. That's why I don't comment back on people's weights even though it's tempting at times, because I don't want to be that kind of person even if they are.
I'm starting to feel picked on lol0 -
I've been thinking about this, too, because I'm still pretty far from my goal weight, and some of my family has begun chastising me about getting "too skinny". No one EVER said anything when I weighed over 200 pounds, and I assure you, I am much healthier now than then. I don't get it. I actually wish they had been more vocal, in a concerned way, when I was obese.
I guess I'm lucky, because pretty much no one said anything when I was fat unless I introduced the subject first and few have commented on the loss, and those who have were all positive. Our receptionist (who was talking to me about wanting to lose weight herself) said "you are finished now, aren't you," about 10 lbs ago, and I just said "not quite" (and since I was 15 lbs above my highest healthy BMI at the time thought it was funny), but she didn't give me a hard time or anything.
When I was normal to thin before I did have people jokingly referring to me as skinny, but I guess even though "skinny" itself isn't a positive word it was so obviously said in a complimentary way it wouldn't even have crossed my mind to be bothered. But then I'm pretty sure I'd be kind of pleased/flattered if someone said I was getting too thin, which I admit reflects a kind of distorted view about what's desirable that is consistent both with the current subculture I'm in (which is probably much thinner on average than the US in general) and what was common when I was growing up.
Anyway, that's kind of an irrelevant digression, I guess. I mainly wanted to say that I'm really glad that friends and family didn't talk to me about being fat. I can't imagine it would have helped, and it's not like I was ever unaware of it. (My big thing was trying to seem like I was 100% okay with it and happy with myself.)0 -
Conversation with a server at Marie Callender's (it was good-naturedly and we were both smiling).
Me: Do you have a low-calorie menu?
MC: We do. Although you don't look like you need it.
Me: Well I look like I don't need it because I do it. If I don't do THAT ::points to menu:: I don't get THAT ::points to stomach::
MC: Yeah I guess you're right.
I was at a religious gathering the other day and took one piece of cake (as in a piece, not a slice) to eat from the cake made to herald in a sweet year (and hence it's symbolic) and to get a taste, but I don't really need a slice, and someone says to me, Are you sure you can afford to eat all that??
Funny how no matter what you weigh people make judgments. I think it's even worse if you're skinny because I think society feels free to make comments about skinny people whereas it's un-PC to make comments about heavier people. I know no server at any restaurant I ever went to when I was heavy ever made a comment about my weight, only my family and people who knew me closely ever commented about my weight, now it seems everyone, even strangers, have an opinion lol (that's just a small sample... oh you're cold? That's because you're so skinny. No, it's because it's freaking cold!!)
People don't realize the amount of hard work and discipline it takes, it doesn't just happen, it's hard!! I don't mind, I just may start becoming more vocal when it happens lol
There are worse things in life than being called skinny.0 -
Funny how no matter what you weigh people make judgments. I think it's even worse if you're skinny because I think society feels free to make comments about skinny people whereas it's un-PC to make comments about heavier people. I know no server at any restaurant I ever went to when I was heavy ever made a comment about my weight, only my family and people who knew me closely ever commented about my weight, now it seems everyone, even strangers, have an opinion lol (that's just a small sample... oh you're cold? That's because you're so skinny. No, it's because it's freaking cold!!)
People don't realize the amount of hard work and discipline it takes, it doesn't just happen, it's hard!! I don't mind, I just may start becoming more vocal when it happens lol
Exactly! Every single day I get a comment about being "skinny." If they see me eating a cookie they're shocked. If I'm at a gathering and choose not to eat (usually because I've already eaten) they comment on how I stay skinny because I don't eat.0 -
There are worse things in life than being called skinny.
That's exactly the mentality I'm talking about!!! What happens when someone makes a post here (and I've read a few) that they were called "fat." Oh, I'm sorry that happened to you, that's horrible, use it as motivation, people don't think, etc. Would you reply to them, "There are worse things in life than being called fat?" I've never seen that as a reply.
Why do people have to comment on weight, period? And I'm talking about unrequested opinions, i.e. the server.0 -
That server was rude for making the comment. It's none of her business whether or not you "need" it. Whoever asked if you can afford to eat it was also rude.
It's amazing how people think everything is their business and how everyone wants to hear their take on a situation.0 -
My family is West Indian and thinness is pretty frowned upon in that culture, so I've been to many a family gathering where someone grabs my arm and points out I need to eat more, or asks if I'm starving or comments on what I'm eating/not eating.
But I'm not insulted by it and their opinions have -1000 influence on how I feel about myself. I do want to gain a bit of weight but overall, I'm content with my body and there isn't anything that anyone could say to change that.
eta: Haters gonna hate? lol0 -
Yeah! Now you get commented on or people will comment about others because now all of a sudden non-overweight people can talk about all overweight people!
I didn't know I was fat until some people felt the need to share that with me and I find it offensive. These same or people will comment on how small I am or what I am eating but they never want to hear about how I lost the weight or what I am doing to keep it off, despite what I am eating - the same things I've always eaten just in smaller portions.
It's all relative - I just want to be healthy, happy and if I look good, kudos!!!
I am far from being skinny, but it get called that as well as being described as thick - WTH!0 -
These comments are a form of bullying. The person making the comment thinks you are somewhat vulnerable and is getting a puerile ego boost at your expense. Fight back! If it is someone you don't care about, offend them back. If you are too nice to think up a good insult yourself, get someone to write you a few and commit them to memory. If it is someone you do care about (friends can be bullies too), explain the situation from your point of view and ask them to refrain from commenting again.0
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Funny how no matter what you weigh people make judgments. I think it's even worse if you're skinny because I think society feels free to make comments about skinny people whereas it's un-PC to make comments about heavier people. I know no server at any restaurant I ever went to when I was heavy ever made a comment about my weight, only my family and people who knew me closely ever commented about my weight, now it seems everyone, even strangers, have an opinion lol (that's just a small sample... oh you're cold? That's because you're so skinny. No, it's because it's freaking cold!!)
People don't realize the amount of hard work and discipline it takes, it doesn't just happen, it's hard!! I don't mind, I just may start becoming more vocal when it happens lol
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YUP! All the above.... and then you get the comment here "there are worse things than being called skinny". SO it's NOT okay to call someone "fat" but it is okay to call someone "skinny".
I have heard it all.... and I agree why do people comment? And I DON'T mean compliments. That would spark a whole new poop storm on here. I also hear "....you don't eat anything" ummm...yes I do...
When people who know me well compliment me, I take it as that. Using words like "skinny" and "fat" are not necessary. I work with 10-12 year olds and the girls are already using the words "skinny" and "fat" and it's not healthy.0 -
Why do people have to comment on weight, period? And I'm talking about unrequested opinions, i.e. the server.
Yeah, I give people (friends and family) a pass for intended compliments, but random comments on your body are just odd and inappropriate. But people are weird. Some guy commented on my feet the other day, when I was walking around, which was kind of creepy, but also just weird enough to be funny. (I'm actually convinced I have ugly toes, so I assumed he was being sarcastic, but I said thank you.)0 -
I get a lot of crap at work from people who say stuff like "but you're skinny! You can have one of these treats!"
The answer now is often just "I'm skinny because I don't eat the treats. But thank you."
People without social graces aren't worth tiptoeing around anymore, for me. If they're going to comment on my weight then I am going to be blunt with them. I'm not into having food shoved at me and offices are the worst for it.0
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