Being visible in others eyes.

cottony
cottony Posts: 109 Member
Since your weight loss do you feel like people around you are treating you finally like a human?

Silly,but i think it is sad that people(especially opposite sex) start to be more respectful and not only acknowledges you but actually wants to know something more about you.


Do you have some examples or comparison in your life?

It's interesting to know how others have experienced it.

Replies

  • thismamarox
    thismamarox Posts: 105 Member
    I think once you start losing weight, your self esteem starts to sky rocket. We don't really know how much negativity we carry around with us until people start to notice. I think the weight coming off gets attention, but attitude and feeling like you are on top of the world gets even more :)
  • CindyMarcuzAdams
    CindyMarcuzAdams Posts: 4,007 Member
    Oh I agree 100%. I used to weigh 333lbs back in 2001. Lost 140 and definitely became visible. I was still over weight but not morbidly obese anymore. People spoke to me and treated me with much more respect the smaller I got. It was almost like my iq got raised by 100. I was and will always be the same person. Its how others perceived me that has changed. I may be a bit less self conscious now.
  • KameHameHaaaa
    KameHameHaaaa Posts: 837 Member
    I'm curious to see how people will respond to me after I lose more weight. I've lost 80 lbs but I'm still 330 lbs. The funny thing is I started working on my self esteem long before I started losing weight, because to me loving myself HAD to be Step #1. I wasn't going to move in any positive direction with my weight loss until I learned to love myself the way I was, love myself every step of the way... that is just me personally though.

    The sad thing is I've found a lot of people (especially online, not counting MFP because I haven't run into too many fat shamers on here) don't like a confident fat chick ;) I've had people tell me I'm disgusting, that I'm encouraging obesity by saying It's perfectly fine for me to love myself whether I'm 400 lbs or 140 lbs !!!

    I like being able to weed those kind of people out of my life. I won't keep people around me if I hear them fat/skinny/body shaming people. It's just not healthy to have that kind of company. I'm so big on this belief that some of my old coworkers used to call me "Captain Save-a-Fatty".... -_-
  • cottony
    cottony Posts: 109 Member
    I'm curious to see how people will respond to me after I lose more weight. I've lost 80 lbs but I'm still 330 lbs. The funny thing is I started working on my self esteem long before I started losing weight, because to me loving myself HAD to be Step #1. I wasn't going to move in any positive direction with my weight loss until I learned to love myself the way I was, love myself every step of the way... that is just me personally though.

    The sad thing is I've found a lot of people (especially online, not counting MFP because I haven't run into too many fat shamers on here) don't like a confident fat chick ;) I've had people tell me I'm disgusting, that I'm encouraging obesity by saying It's perfectly fine for me to love myself whether I'm 400 lbs or 140 lbs !!!

    I like being able to weed those kind of people out of my life. I won't keep people around me if I hear them fat/skinny/body shaming people. It's just not healthy to have that kind of company. I'm so big on this belief that some of my old coworkers used to call me "Captain Save-a-Fatty".... -_-



    True,you have to love yourself not looking at your weight,but it's hard if everyone makes you feel miserable so i respect and admire those people who really know how to be confident when others put them down.

    I remember,for example,when me and other 2 girls were standing in a row for something and one guy who knew one of the girls came to talk,he really made me feel like i'm not existing,yes i am not very talkative but simple respect as a human being would have been nice,but nope i was ignored.

    Then 50lbs lighter me and other 2 girls going from club to club and some guy asked my other friend who I was because he wanted to know my name and something more.
    The changes makes me realize how narrow minded sometimes people are.
  • ThatLadyFromMN
    ThatLadyFromMN Posts: 301 Member
    I've noticed at work that the higher up management guys used to kind of just say hey when they walk by, now they stop and talk to me, a couple even flirt and I caught one of them staring at my *kitten* last week! It's definitely a self-esteem booster when hot guys at work are telling me I look good... and I've only lost like 40 lbs... I have like another 60 I'd like to lose so... to be continued! LOL. P.s. Married so not looking for anything, but I don't mind the flattery. ;)
  • Here's a 1973 movie starring Stockard Channing , wo played 'Rizzo' in the original 'GREASE' movie.
    It's about a college-student heavy-set woman who loses weight after a trauma.
    THEN she gets revenge on all the college creeps male and female, who ignored or tormented her when she was fat.
    My kinda gal!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52rOhwOnKq8
    "The Girl Most Likely To", Part 1
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,324 Member
    yes. for sure. I've never been super overweight. but i can always tell when I'm back down to where i need to be. not by the scale. but by the attention i start getting. It is almost like once i gain 15 or 20 pounds, i turn invisible.

    I realize it is just a fact of life that people natually respect and notice people who are fit and attractive. it isn't right..but it is the way it is!
  • CrusaderSam
    CrusaderSam Posts: 180 Member
    Elsa hit the music!

    I am never going back. The past is in the past.

    Let it go!

    Let it go!

    On a serious note, a lot of this stuff is in your head, and the stuff that is real, you need to let go or it will just eat you up and make you bitter. I have already wasted to much of my life being resentful it is time to move on.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,230 Member
    Last time I lost a fair bit of weight, one of my biggest NSVs was actually getting noticed and greeted by assistants in "normal" women's clothes shops. I'm so used to being ignored because the assistants know they have nothing that will fit, actually having them ask if they could help me with anything with a huge boost.
  • bennettinfinity
    bennettinfinity Posts: 865 Member
    I think once you start losing weight, your self esteem starts to sky rocket. We don't really know how much negativity we carry around with us until people start to notice. I think the weight coming off gets attention, but attitude and feeling like you are on top of the world gets even more :)

    A lot of truth here -- the physical-attraction aspect is always at play, but attitude and confidence seal the deal!
  • KimiSteinbach
    KimiSteinbach Posts: 224 Member
    The physical attraction thing is at play from infanthood on. Remember that experiment where they took babies and showed them attractive faces and unattractive ones. The babies preferred the attractive ones.

    I think it's the same with weight. When folks are quite overweight as I was (and still am), it makes people uncomfortable and makes them question our self respect. I didn't like myself much when I was obese and that tends to be sensed by others. Heck if I don't like myself enough to take care about myself, why should others?

    I'm definitely getting more looks and attention now that I'm losing.

    It's just a sad fact of human nature.
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
    I find people are ruder now that I'm skinny. For instance I went to a friends graduation party a couple months back and I saw an old friend, that hadn't seen me in about a year. She basically accused me of being anorexic. With statements like, "Oh your actually eating a piece of cake?" and "I just assumed you stopped eating with how skinny you are." oh and my favorite, "I'm gonna pray for you and for your health, because you look sickly and need some help."

    I wanted to smack her so bad! I did tell her I still eat everyday 3 times a day just like always. I just exercise now, whereas I didn't before and I eat healthier for the most part, while still allow for that occasional sweet, aka graduation cake an punch.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
    I find people are ruder now that I'm skinny. For instance I went to a friends graduation party a couple months back and I saw an old friend, that hadn't seen me in about a year. She basically accused me of being anorexic. With statements like, "Oh your actually eating a piece of cake?" and "I just assumed you stopped eating with how skinny you are." oh and my favorite, "I'm gonna pray for you and for your health, because you look sickly and need some help."

    I wanted to smack her so bad! I did tell her I still eat everyday 3 times a day just like always. I just exercise now, whereas I didn't before and I eat healthier for the most part, while still allow for that occasional sweet, aka graduation cake an punch.

    Yeah but people who have not seen you before you lost the weight don't act like that right?

    But I know, people say some weird things when they see you for the first time.
  • Yes, especially men are holding doors for me. Never ever they held an elevator door for me. That happened so many times lately. I hate that superficial stupid attention because there was none of that when I put on weight. I am a happy individual, I just want men to stop staring and notice me for my work and achiements, but not for looks. Also, I noticed men are touching my shoulder, and in general want to have some sort of platonic, but physical contact with me, like leaning over my chair. Women treat me the same way, but comment much more than men.
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
    I never got hit on when I was really overweight. I remember leaving a local store after I had got down to a size 14 from a 20 jeans, this guy was asking if I was single and told me I was very pretty. I was shocked! That never happens to me. The skinnier I got , currently a size 4-6 depending on the brand, the more guys took notice and girls for that matter. My husbands lesbian friend would like to steal me away lol and is always talking about how good looking I am. I'm flattered and all by it. I just take the compliments, and but I'm faithful to my husband and will even tell him about getting hit on. He is luckily not the jealous type.
  • Linnaea27
    Linnaea27 Posts: 639 Member
    Oh yes, I have found this too. The last few years, I was 10-15 pounds heavier than I am now (I'm barely 5'1", so that amount of weight REALLY shows on me). I got almost no attention from men and didn't attract looks or much attention from random women either. Now that I'm pretty thin (still trying to get a little thinner) men look at me way more, smile, etc. even if I am with my fiance sometimes! And I've noticed more attention from women too. I think I am more confident than I was, but I think it does have to do with my appearance alone.

    The weirdest thing I have noticed in this regard is that women who are significantly overweight seem to often give me dirty looks when passing by. I do not know if this is all in my head or not, but it is kind of uncomfortable, and never used to happen.
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
    People who just met me are shocked when/if they find out I used to be fat. lol I work in childcare and my newer coworkers are in disbelieve. In fact recently my boss pulled out a picture of me with kids on my lap from 3 years ago, they were trying to figure out who it was and my boss had to tell them it was me. They were all, like "no way that's Rachel! It doesn't even look like her now"

    I find it very awesome, because they are not rude just in shock.
  • SuninVirgo
    SuninVirgo Posts: 255 Member
    absolutely!
  • stynfit4life
    stynfit4life Posts: 32 Member
    Here's a 1973 movie starring Stockard Channing , wo played 'Rizzo' in the original 'GREASE' movie.
    It's about a college-student heavy-set woman who loses weight after a trauma.
    THEN she gets revenge on all the college creeps male and female, who ignored or tormented her when she was fat.
    My kinda gal!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52rOhwOnKq8
    "The Girl Most Likely To", Part 1



    I just saw that movie- absolutely hilarious . thanks for posting
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