"down"...."blue"......"bad day"....DEPRESSED

Where to begin......today may actually not be the best day to write this as I am having a bad day. Depression has set in.....again. I try to be a very happy person; never want to bring anyone else down with my "issues". But the problem is when I hide my "issues" to keep anyone else from feeling awkward than I tend to “eat” my problems. I get depressed and I eat, I get tired and I eat, I get bored and I eat, I get happy and I eat, and the list goes on and on. I have an addiction to food. All kinds of foods, I do not discriminate. I love Pepsi and Coca Cola. I love sweets. I love fried, greasy foods. I have a problem and I can’t fix it alone, I have tried. This will be my last attempt at this with diet and exercise; if it doesn’t work this time than I will be having surgery in 6-8 months. Surgery…..the one thing I swore I would never do. However, I am at the point where something has to change. I want to get excited about this, I want to set goals. Problem is that today that just isn’t possible. I know this post will probably get a lot of mean, hurtful, and non helpful replies, my only request is that you please remember there really is someone else on the other end having a really bad day. Yes I have been a member for a few months and have not been on here in probably 3 months or more. I have deleted all of the friends I had because, well honestly they hadn’t been on in almost the amount of time that I hadn’t. Thanks for reading my vent……hopefully my next post will be more positive………


  • MamaRiss
    MamaRiss Posts: 480 Member
    Every day is a new day to change or be a little better. Don't get down about what you ate yesterday, last week, or the last 3 months. Today is all that matters. Set your goal for today, then tomorrow set you goal for that day, and so forth. Soon you will want to look farther ahead and when that day comes set a long term goal, but for right now, think about what you can do TODAY
  • gcarterIT
    gcarterIT Posts: 20 Member
    “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

    ― Maria Robinson

    Hang in there.
  • good thing about MFP is you can come here and depress all over the place and people are free to read it or not so you aren't really imposing. Between your wall, the message boards and the blog feature you should have many options to vent/share, and you may just find some support along the way.

    Keeping all that stuff inside can't be good, clinical depression or not.
  • Original_Sinner
    Original_Sinner Posts: 180 Member
    my concern with this is that your food issues are clearly intertwined with your mental health and you have stated no plan for dealing with your mental health.

    In 6-8 months when you fail with this plan, because of a lack of mental health planning that I'm seeing, i'm pretty sure you will fail, how is surgery going to fix anything?

    No, seriously. Surgery will change your physical body, you will still be that person that eats when they are happy, sad, depressed,......

    surgery will just give you a focal point from which to fail again. This time it will be worse.

    So, where is your mental health plan, how will you tackle this, who will you be talking to? what issues will you be confronting?
  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
    Hey.. I was just diagnosed with diabetes... and on the bright side... it's caused me to lose 20 lbs... and lowered my Blood pressure significantly... NOW I am just waiting for my doctor to set me up with a "Diabetes educator" to assist in my transition to a lifestyle where MY life will literally depend on healthy eating choices and regular exercise... SO...

    I have always thought that this was the MOST relevant philosophy... YOU can see life two ways... Life is a miracle... or a tragedy... IF you see it as a miracle... you will always have something to smile at... and if it's a tragedy... well... time to join a group that sees it MY way becuae miracles DO happen everyday.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    Every day I "try."

    I "try" to stay within my calories. I "try" to drink enough water. I "try" to make sure I keep my carb intake at a moderate level. I "try" to make sure I log everything. Several times a week I "try" to get up to the gym to work out.

    Most days I'm successful. Sometimes life gets in the way, as it sometimes seems to do.

    But then I get up the next day and "try" to do everything all over again.

    Eventually all those successful days add up.

    Never stop trying.
  • KameHameHaaaa
    KameHameHaaaa Posts: 838 Member
    Just keep trying. Remember that slow progress is better than no progress. So long as you keep trying you cannot be defeated. Take one day at a time. If you feel like your emotions are going to win over and you wanna over eat then just hop on the forums. That's what I do. Sometimes it works , sometimes it doesn't. This is a one day at a time thing, so don't judge tomorrow before tomorrow even comes.

  • socalkay
    socalkay Posts: 746 Member
    Alas, the only way you can get past eating unhealthy foods is making the decision to stop and holding the line. In a word, willpower, and it's gotta come from you. I know it's not easy, obviously everybody here is or has struggled with this themselves. I certainly have. The good news? You can do it if you set your mind too it - there are lots of success stories here to give you hope! On top of that, there's a lot of good support here.

    Start small. Set a healthy, reasonable daily calorie goal and log everything you eat. Start walking or some other form of activity you enjoy (it's good for depression, as well).

    Best of luck to you!
  • Basilin
    Basilin Posts: 360 Member
    There isn't one reason to think anyone should be mean to you or say something nasty for expressing these feelings. You have a right to them and to be who you are!

    Make a small little goal today, something that you can accomplish that will help lift you up a bit. Go on a walk, or make headway on a project you've got tucked away somewhere, heck, get some chores done. Once you complete it, make another little goal. Keep going until you start to remember that you're in control of your life and you can do what you set your mind to do. Then when you're feeling better you can plan how you want to do the big stuff. Good luck :heart:
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
    Surgery will not fix your problems and can kill you if you don't get the eating under control. That is the harsh reality. It's far easier to cause yourself harm and in a much bigger way from binge eating if you get stomach surgery.
  • Spreyton22K
    Spreyton22K Posts: 323 Member
    Hi there,

    I am so glad you reached out for support.....there are so many many people on MFP that face daily challenges whether it be a mental health problem or ongoing physical issues too and it can be such a comfort to know you aren't alone. You have some lovely caring replies all of which are solidly grounded in the 'just living and doing today'. I couldn't agree more.

    We spend so much of our bogged down in fretting over the past which we cannot change or getting overwhelmed with fears about the future the what if's.......all this mental exercise just serves to prevent us from enjoying the "now" and does truly make you feel exhausted from all the pointless mental gymnastics.

    From what you have said this is a long standing problem.....your mental health seems to be intrinsically bound up with an unhealthy relationship with food and now you are considering what was once unthinkable for you - Surgery. I appreciate that you are feeling desperate but I too would entreat you to seek counselling, therapy, more counselling, rinse and repeat this <<<< BEFORE you take the final step of having surgery.

    Not once do you mention any outside assistance.....maybe this is part of your illness too, it makes you reluctant to open up to others and thus serves to separate you more and more from valuable resources.

    Please the surgery will not "fix" your relationship with food. It will not address and help you work through the current issues you are struggling with.....all it will do will be a frustrating barrier to your at the moment only safety relief valve for your emotions......FOOD.

    I wish you many blessings and best wishes. Please don't give up. All you have is today, just like the rest of us.....continue IRL to reach out a hand for help and I hope that you achieve all you richly deserve.

    Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • Stay empowered and stay informed. Best advice I ever got. A couple of steps I took attached.


  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,687 Member
    I hope you know if you dont get to the root of your depression having WLS isnt going to help with wieght loss.
  • clayswife13
    clayswife13 Posts: 73 Member
    I just want to say that I have read each and everyone's comments. Yes yesterday was a bad day. I needed to vent. Yes I realize I have an issue with wanting to "eat" my emotions. I have to say that one bad day does not make me "Clinically Depressed". Some things happened yesterday that sent me over the edge and the only way I knew to get it out was to write it. Maybe I should have just done it in my blog idk....Typically I am a very happy person who does everything in her power to encourage and lift others up, does that mean I hide my problems from others? Absolutely, mainly because helping others helps me. With that said, there are days when I need help. There are days when I need for someone to listen to me and honestly just be a sounding board. Just to let me get what is bothering me out. Today is a better day. Today I woke up feeling better, no depression just determination. Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom so that all we can do is start the climb up. I want to say thank-you to everyone who posted. I have to say at this point I have taken surgery off the table. Not because of anything anyone here said (not being ugly just being honest) but because I realized that it was just another excuse. Do I think surgery is absolutely not for me? I don't know. The reasons I was thinking surgery to begin with have nothing to do with what I wrote yesterday. I will have to see what the future holds, for now I need to show myself that I can do this and keep it off. Today I am setting goals, that was not possible yesterday.
  • lilbearzmom
    lilbearzmom Posts: 600 Member
    Surgery will not fix your food issues. It's not brain surgery. Believe me, I know. You have to fix more than just your stomach. Just sayin'.
  • Canwehugnow
    Canwehugnow Posts: 218 Member
    One day at a time...

    You should try to get some sort of help for the depressed feelings, maybe a therapist? Or, if you feel like your depressed is solely stemming from your addiction to food, you should try finding an OA meeting in your area. I've been attending for the last 3 months, and it's really helped me open up to my emotions a lot. They also have online meetings, www.oa.org -- check it out.