Advice please before I go insane!

Before trying to reduce cals, cut booze, start exercise, cut out routine take aways, I'd start one or two at a time before adding in others. Say, reducing alcohol and introducing excercise for a few weeks. The alcohol thing works differently for different people, I am not teetotal, but I did stop drinking altogether for about a year when I started as I was also drinking excessively and gradually added it back in. It's what works for you, you may find it better not to drink at all than try to moderate it at this time.

You could log your food for the next couple of weeks, without looking at cals, just to see what you eat and when. If there are any times of the day that are worse than others (e.g. you're an evening snacker, so when you start reducing cals, you can plan to save some at the end of every day so you can have a snack or 2 and won't feel as deprived).

Still have your take away, but once a week or fortnight and when you do, only order enough food to fill you up (e.g. curry with rice or naan bread, not both). When you start reducing your cals you can plan for your take away.

Edit to add: when working out calories you need to lose weight, if you are following MFP guidance, ensure that you don't put that you are completely sedentary (that's lying down all day) and resist the temptation to put that you want to lose 2lb a week, it will leave you with very few calories, probably the minimum of 1200. This is difficult to stick to and you can still lose weight whilst eating plenty more than that.

And make sure you eat back your exercise calories. I don't work mine out in the same way, but plenty of people on here say that the MFP estimated calorie burns are excessive. The solution perhaps would be to buy a tracker (fitbit or garmin or something), or maybe only eat 75% of the calories given for the exercise. But do eat them! You can use them for treats such as the takeayway.

Sorry if you think this is out of line, but have you considered counselling in relation to your previous relationship and self esteem? You can ask your GP for a referral. There are waiting lists, but it is on NHS, so free of charge.

As for bras - try Shock Absorber bras - level 4 and not the 'running top' kind. Pricey, but I started as a H cup and now an F and have always kept the baps under control. Even on a trampoline.

Very good advice above^^.
Yes i agree, definitely cut way down on the booze and take aways (that was my downfall too).
Maybe take a packed lunch to work or if you need to go somewhere for Lunch, try somewhere like Subway (instead of Mc D's).
You look great from your pics, i wish my legs looked like that in leggings.
Plus you are pretty tall, so you can hold your weight better than most.
As for exercise and toning, a lot of the Ladies on here do strength training which i've seen works wonders. Or maybe jump on a Bike or Powerwalk at the weekends if you don't like the Gym.
But Good Luck with it all!

positive start. you are back and raring to go.
kick the booze for a month to get a jump start.
i lived/worked in grimbsy( fond memories) in the 80's and cant remember even seeing a gym back then.
as you deal in furniture and have space, consider picking up a used treadmill for walking at work whilst still being on phone etc.
good luck.

Start with something sustainable. Quitting everything at once is a recipe for failure long term. You've quit the drinking and so much take out, that's great! Now just eat at a deficit and you will lose weight. If you can add some strength training in there, that would be great to maintain your muscle mass while losing.

I don't think diet is the issue here. In fact, your post is very worrying to me. I think you need to seek some help about your body image *before* going down the dieting road. Can you get an appointment to see your GP or does your employer offer counselling services you could access to discuss your body image issues?

You really should take the advice from all above about the eating more calories.
I am no expert so cant comment much more on that, but as for the things that have been done and said to you in the past, you need to deal with those. You look beautiful in your picture, don't let your past haunt your future.

Of course dealing with the emotional aspect is a long and tough journey, but maybe time to put it all to bed?

You should think of it like this, when someone is putting you down, making you feel bad over a long period of time, it is more a reflection on how they feel about themselves, and to transfer all that negative and damaging rubbish onto you, somehow makes those type of people feel better, also it has a lot to do with their own insecurities ( if i tell her she is fat and useless, she wont have the strength to leave me etc ).
You sound a strong motivated woman to me, own business, managed to free yourself of an abusive relationship, so instead of looking inward at all the things you have been told you are, have a look at the truth, what you really are at your very core.
On a side note: I have loads of weight to lose, and i am eating 1500 calories a day, and have lost 4lbs on that in just a week, so the numbers have to balance.
Chin up x

Hello from the UK too.

A lot going on in your head; understandably - maybe visit your GP and see if they can offer some support?

Also, please lose weight for you, not for your partner. If it's not for you, you'll end up resenting him even more, and there will be a circle of arguments. As a man, I can say men can be cruel (but then so can women!) - no one should say someone has let themselves go.

That said, it took me to admit that I was obese, and sleepwalking into diabetes, higher blood pressure and a host of other problems.

If you decide you want to feel better physically, and reduce the risks of all sorts of problems then I'll support you all the way.

I was desk based largely too; lots of small things you can do: take away your chair. Yes I did say that. If you are on your feet, you'll naturally move around, to keep your legs from aching, rebalance etc. You will lose tons of weight without even realising.

Walk everywhere. I know I am like an evangelist on this, but buy a pedometer (if you have an iPhone it has one built in) and make sure you do 10,000 steps everyday. Then build up to 12,000, 14,000 etc Every day.

People who walk 10,000 steps a day are also far less likely to get diabetes, and a reduce cancer risks.

You may or may not get a lunch break if you own your own business (I know, I have been there), but go out for 30 minutes, and walk at a pace that leaves you slightly breathless. Trust me, if you are on the larger side (and I was clinically obese) then I understand the idea of the gym terrifies. The key thing is to get your body moving. You can build up to other exercise along the line.

Food. Ban biscuits, cakes etc at work. Make friends with your greengrocer. Feel ravenous by 11am? Eat 100g of ham (you can buy packs in supermarkets for about a £1) - the protein will keep you full at 100cal. Start eating nuts, 3 or 4 brazils and walnuts - the fatty acids will help with your mental health, and keep your skin and hair looking good when you are losing weight.

Feel free to add me as a friend

Doing the right way....not so extreme and you will succeed. When you go all out aggressive and try to lose so much so fast, there's a tendency to burn out.

Here's a little calculation I did on your numbers (remember all numbers are ballpark numbers as everyone is different), it will give you an idea (I converted to pounds):

To lose weight, choose an option from the table below (this is with using "lightly active" for exercise included, so if you exercise "moderately active" you will lose it faster)

Weight Loss Table
Option # Calories Per Day Target Date for 66lbs

#1 2003 calories December 24, 2015
#2 2128 calories May 25, 2016
#3 2003 calories December 23, 2015
#4 1877 calories September 22, 2015
#5 1752 calories July 22, 2015

Eating at 500 calories a day is setting you up for disaster. Gather yourself, and with a good workout program, and slight calorie deficit, you would be more likely to succeed.

Karen

Note: These are estimates. You may need more or fewer calories a day. Track your progress; eat more calories if you lose too much weight, or feel hungry/tired.

Hey Hun,

You really are having a bad time and I really hope it gets better soon. I'm also 5ft7 and lose and gain and lose and gain.

It does sound like you're not eating enough....fruit, salad, meat, get whatever you can inside you whilst you are at work. Also, if you can afford it being self-employed, it sounds like you really need a break for some rest and recuperation time. It is going to be very hard to balance your eating when your head is all over the place.

All the best.

Hope things start to turn around for you soon. You said you would like to tone your tummy and that you sit on your bum all day. The advice I have is to invest in one of those ergo balll chairs. Not sure where you get them, but it is a chair shaped like an exercise ball. By using that all day or even short periods of time each day, you will be engaging your core muscles for balance and stability while at the computer/phone. Good luck!

I’m sorry to hear that you had such an abrasive relationship for so long but you are out of it now and you seem to really value your knew man. I know that his comment opened old wounds for you but unless he has made references/comments like that in the past perhaps you should try and not confuse his statement with the words of your past BF. Especially if he has no knowledge of the problems you had in the past. I would hope that his comment ever how much it may have hurt was with good intent and meant out of love. Words can hurt if we let them but try and remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said; “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent!” I know it can be hard when those that are nearest to us say things that hurt but we mustn’t let it, take their words as constructive criticism and use it to build the momentum that is needed to turn the corner, to open that door and to take that step.

Just remember to believe in yourself, see yourself for the beautiful person that you are and envision yourself as the person you want to be.

The keys to success start with you and extent to your family and friends, Remember “No man is an Island, entire to itself…” (John Donne) find your friends and family that will support and push you and lean on them when you need that support team or that extra push. Next is getting a plan and setting a goal, make the plan one that is easy enough to follow and the goal one that is reasonable. One last quote “Those that fail to plan should plan to fail,” (Ben Franklin) set your plans in place days and even weeks in advance (when possible) that way there are no surprises. As far as skipping meals and alcohol, stop doing both! You need to eat correctly to fuel yourself for the long hard day and the alcohol will undo any efforts that you have made during the day. Start your day with protein and end it with protein; protein takes longer to digest and will help you feel fuller longer. Also, drink plenty of water sources say that we should have 8 servings of 8oz a day. I aim for 10 with no exercise accounted for; depending on the level of exercising I try and get two more servings per hour of exercise. To help me keep on tract with my water consumption I have a filtered water bottle with me everywhere I go.

The next thing that I would advise you to do is get a food scale and measure everything that you digest and log it on your diary using MFP. Ok I’ve gone on way to long so last thing is get a brand name heart rate monitor that tracts at the very least you HR both maximum and average, calories burnt, and has a memory function, then get a solid exercise plan and stick to it. You may need to adjust the plan until you find what works for you. I would suggest looking at doing a HIIT routine; just Google HIIT and read up on it. If you would like I have several routines on a word document that I can give you, just message me and I will in box it to you.

You can do this just believe in yourself. Good luck and best wishes for success.

V/r,
DW