So damn tired all the time :-(

ok guys this is part vent part HELP PLEASE support needed.

I'm a working mama of a three year old, wife/housewife/chef/maid/stepmom. Yea I wear a lot of hats, and I know im not alone in that. My problem is im so tired all the time. In the morning I feel great, when I rush off to work and sit on my bum for 9 hours, yea 9 HOURS!! UGH. I work for 9.5 hour days and I have one weekday off. Really im lucky to have that schedule but the days are so long sometimes it feels like it will never end, then on my one day off i'm so tired I like to sit around and have a hard time finding the motivation to go out and do anything with my daughter. Most nights after work im so exhausted I push myself to make dinner then all I want to do is sit around for the rest of the evening. But then theres bath time, bedtime (which is always a process) then if I can muster one extra ounce of energy I try to work out for 30 min.

Im sure a lot of it is the following

My daughters age, shes 3 - enough said
My diet - more protein??
My desk job - I try to get outside and walk, in fact I took two long walks during the day yesterday but was more tired than ever when I got home
Im a total stress ball because I'm so overwhelmed all the time

My diet isn't great. I tend to skip breakfast or just eat something small, lunch is usually pretty good and I try to eat a snack in between lunch and dinner. The problem is when I eat a small snack I feel a little sick and still hungry, I think I probably should eat something more substantial to hold me over.

today i'm eating a huge breakfast and well see how I do. I will also be sure to have a bigger snack between lunch and dinner.
If anyone has anything to share either advice or just to commiserate. I'm all ears. We all need a little pick me up sometimes, this is mine! :-D
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Replies

  • La5Vega5Girl
    La5Vega5Girl Posts: 709 Member
    try looking at what you're eating. when i was eating gluten, i was tired all.the.time. i felt awful, almost like there was a flu hiding underneath, but no fever or outward signs. i gave up gluten and grains and feel amazing. been doing it for years now. powerhouse your energy with walnuts, aged cheeses or meats. olives are good, too. (i try to avoid corn, too because it tends to be like a sugar to me since i don't eat sugar in high quantities anymore)

    oh and by the way, i never eat breakfast. eating a huge meal in the morning used to make me sick to my stomach. i practice intermittent fasting, and i fast 18 hours per day and eat 6 consecutive hours a day. that means that from noon to 6:00, i can eat my foods, but stop cold at 6:00 p.m.

    drink more water, if you dont already. that helps keep your salt leveled.
  • Snip8241
    Snip8241 Posts: 767 Member
    I think eating in the morning may help. That being said I am not preaching that everyone must eat breakfast. If that works for you fine.

    Not eating all night, not eating very much in the morning, then doing lunch and a snack wouldn't work for me personally. I eat a protein bar in the am because frankly not much else appeals to me.

    Ok adding protein may also help, I think that's a good idea. I try to eat a protein with every meal, even if it's cottage cheese or a hard boiled egg.

    I didn't look at your diary....how many calories are you eating? I had to bump mine from 1200 to 1300 because I was miserable! After that my loss is slower but I can function.

    Keep at it...you are a busy person, you'll find your sweet spot. Don't worry. :flowerforyou:
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Cute profile pic!

    If you'd like us to comment/make suggestions on your diet, please make your food diary public.

    Some other thoughts besides diet - you could be dealing with a deficiency. I'd suggest making a doc appt and getting levels of iron, Vit D and Vit B tested. Maybe even thyroid?

    Also make sure you're drinking plenty of water as dehydration can cause low energy.
  • Hannahp1402
    Hannahp1402 Posts: 85 Member
    Personally I believe its being a mum/housewife - I find that harder than working 12 hours a day!
  • kwest_4_fitness
    kwest_4_fitness Posts: 820 Member
    Sounds like stress may play a big role. Ever try yoga or stretching at work?
  • 20yearsyounger
    20yearsyounger Posts: 1,630 Member
    Even before I started back on myfitnesspal I took VitaminWorld UltraMan Sports Performance vitamins because I felt tired. Those vitamins were kick a** . My wife took the UltraWoman and felt good as well. Maybe you are not getting enough nutrients.
  • La5Vega5Girl
    La5Vega5Girl Posts: 709 Member
    I think eating in the morning may help. That being said I am not preaching that everyone must eat breakfast. If that works for you fine.


    that is true. eating a large breakfast might work wonders for you and fuel you all through the day. everyone is different, i think that is important to know. :smile:
  • I can identify with what you are saying complete. My wife works 10 hour days mostly (which is nice for overtime money). In return, I am responsible for running the house for the most part. I get up and get myself and the kids (age 2 and 7) ready, pack lunches, change clothes, and then do my best to get myself ready. I drop them off at the baby sitter and drive an hour to work to sit for 8 hours in cubicle and drive an hour home. Then I pick up the kids, go home, and make dinner. I am also cleaning up the house and basically maintaining the normal. I get dead tired and sometimes feel like I shut down emotionally. When I do get a day off, I don't want to do anything healthy either. I have found that eating steady meals throughout the day has helped a lot. I eat breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, and snack. I feel that keeps me even the whole day with energy. The biggest thing I have found is to workout as much as you can. It will get your body used to moving for those days off. When you get that first workout in, it is amazing how your body just wants to keep going. It is like that commerical says.."a body in rest tends to stay at rest." I recommend those two things to help overcome the tired feelings. Eat regularly, remember, food is nothing but fuel for the body. Workout often to keep that energy flowing. That has helped me so I hope it helps others too. We are all different, but it's a start.
  • ZombieMom79
    ZombieMom79 Posts: 70 Member
    Have you had your thyroid checked? Shakey hands? Hair loss? those are other symptoms of an under active thryoid. I have been on meds for 15 years and they make a world of difference.
  • brisingr86
    brisingr86 Posts: 1,789 Member
    Any chance you can do your workout in the morning before work (if you have more energy then)? Other than that, agree with what others have said. Increasing protein is generally a good idea, but maybe change things up with when you eat. Do you feel better or worse when you eat breakfast? Do you feel better with small snacks throughout the day or 2-3 full meals and less snacking? Good luck!
  • independant2406
    independant2406 Posts: 447 Member
    Maybe try small meals throughout the day and not skipping breakfast?
    Also Vitamin B12 and Vitamin D can help with energy.

    Have you had a fasting blood sugar check recently? I have hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) and a lot of what you describe is similar to what I experience. If you skip breakfast it makes sense you'll have energy in the morning hours (no spikes or crashing of your blood sugar). And then after a larger meal (dinner) your blood sugar will spike and then crash making you feel exhausted.

    I really highly recommend visiting your doc. It might just be stress and exhaustion from your very busy life but can't hurt to get a blood panel check. Have them check your thyroid also (full one not just the regular one). Take a day for yourself and schedule a doc appt and a massage. You deserve it! :)
  • farmerpam1
    farmerpam1 Posts: 402 Member
    It would be helpful to see your diary, are you getting enough calories, carbs, protein? You've got a busy life, sounds stressful, being aware of what your body needs to perform at it's peak can help. Wish I could offer more advice, maybe just some quiet stretching after your 3 year old is in bed can help. Good luck to you.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    INteresting...I too, along with a lot of women/men here, do exactly the same thing...work, take care of family etc.

    you are lucky to get a weekday off most of us work 9-10 hour days (or more) and only get weekends...

    As for being tired....because of this...you have a husband.

    Alternate dinners, bath times and while he is doing bath time go for a walk or do a workout.

    Exercise requires energy...but it creates a sense of well being and energy...so if you just do it you will see the results...

    As you can tell I won't commiserate as this is everyday life for me too except the being tired...because I do exercise.
  • How much do you sleep? It sounds like you are super busy. Perhaps try going to bed 30 min, or an hour earlier for a week and see how you feel.

    I switched up my hours this year once school started for my kiddo. I now get up an hour earlier. I did not start going to bed an hour earlier, but I need to because I am in the same boat as you now. Making sleep a priority is something we all have to do, even if it feels like we are wasting precious time we could be doing stuff.
  • Ladybug1250
    Ladybug1250 Posts: 366 Member
    Thank you thank you I appreciate each and every one of your comments/suggestions!


    Im eating a big breakfast now and need to get back into the habit. Also I tried to workout in the AM im just too tired to get a decent workout in that early (5am for me) and often times I can't drag my butt out of bed so then I stress out cause I feel like a failure. not a good way to start the day for me.


    stress is a huge factor for me and I put a lot of pressure on myself because I really want to get in better shape and drop some lbs but it's a constant battle and sometimes i'm just too tired and the healthy eating and exercise are the first to get tossed aside. Yesterday I was so tired and miserable when I got home I made frozen egg rolls and mac and cheese (with broccoli) for dinner and I didn't measure cause I didn't care, I ate way too much but then I felt better...


    Water intake is good, that's one thing I stay pretty good with. I usually only drink water (not juice, tea or soda) and my morning coffee of course.

    I need to ask my husband for more help. In fact on Tuesday night he gave our little one and bath and attempted to put her to bed while I worked out. I felt awesome after!! then yesterday was a huge blow cause I felt more tired than ever and thinking of getting on the elliptical made me want to cry. I was in bed by nine, which also made me want to cry lol
  • 2013sk
    2013sk Posts: 1,318 Member
    If your tired all the time, try taking some multi vitamins to pick you up!

    How much fruit & veggies are you consuming?

    Drink lots of water

    I find if I eat lots of carby foods, I feel tired.

    Exercise is really good : )
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,961 Member
    Thank you thank you I appreciate each and every one of your comments/suggestions!


    Im eating a big breakfast now and need to get back into the habit. Also I tried to workout in the AM im just too tired to get a decent workout in that early (5am for me) and often times I can't drag my butt out of bed so then I stress out cause I feel like a failure. not a good way to start the day for me.


    stress is a huge factor for me and I put a lot of pressure on myself because I really want to get in better shape and drop some lbs but it's a constant battle and sometimes i'm just too tired and the healthy eating and exercise are the first to get tossed aside. Yesterday I was so tired and miserable when I got home I made frozen egg rolls and mac and cheese (with broccoli) for dinner and I didn't measure cause I didn't care, I ate way too much but then I felt better...


    Water intake is good, that's one thing I stay pretty good with. I usually only drink water (not juice, tea or soda) and my morning coffee of course.

    I need to ask my husband for more help. In fact on Tuesday night he gave our little one and bath and attempted to put her to bed while I worked out. I felt awesome after!! then yesterday was a huge blow cause I felt more tired than ever and thinking of getting on the elliptical made me want to cry. I was in bed by nine, which also made me want to cry lol

    Aww, don't cry! Why don't you just commit to doing an exercise every 2 - 3 days? You can always increase it as you find more time or feel better :) I didn't even start exercising for about 8 months when I started dieting. It was too much all at once for me and I don't even have children!

    I do also recommend a multi-vitamin since iron could also be low - make sure to take it with food though - I find they upset my stomach.

    How long have you been eating at a deficit? I remember when I first started, I was tired, grumpy and cried a lot for a full 3 to 4 weeks! But once I was over that hump I felt better.
  • Tammy_1971
    Tammy_1971 Posts: 93 Member
    Ummm... what is the hubby doing? Maybe he can step in and help out. My husband loves to cook dinner, so I luck out there. But we both step in when needed. We both work full-time; I work 9 hour days with every other Friday off. The house chores, kids, running errands, etc. for us is not a 50-50 split, it is an alternating 80-20... stepping up for each other when needed. Maybe enlisted some of his help? If he doesn't cook, maybe he can take over bathtime, etc. We all want to be "super-mom", and it looks like you are very much a super-mom... but we ALL need a little help.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    your diary isnt open... how much are you actually eating?
  • independant2406
    independant2406 Posts: 447 Member
    Remember to be kind to yourself. Take special time each day to just do something for you... something you enjoy. If this means putting hubby in charge while you spend 30 minutes to meditate or do yoga... or go for a walk... or even take a nap. You need to take care of YOU. :)
  • Stress (the overwhelming stress) that you describe could be a huge culprit, too. When I have found myself, overwhelmed, overtired, overstressed, my body usually says, "enough! if you don't stop, I'll make you stop!" Then I get very tired, and mildly depressed, and just really don't have the enthusiasm to do much more than what I must do.

    Of course, the stress also makes weight loss more difficult with the release of cortizol. Not a good thing.

    Is your husband doing his share? Do you have any other support that could help?

    Sometimes, we have to also look at our perception of things we must do. I look at my exercise as a stress reliever, not another obligation. For a while, why not focus more on ways to relieve the stress rather than calorie burn fitness. Meditation, tai chi, or yoga might be more beneficial right now than a cardio burn. A leisurely walk might be more relaxing than trying to get a mile in.

    On you day off, include your daughter in a relaxing fun activity that is healthy. A walk in the woods or a game of tag in the park. She will benefit, too.

    See your doctor though and have an honest talk. Have blood work done for vitamin and thyroid deficiency.

    However the basic truth for most moms was pointed out by my 4-year old granddaughter who likes to play doctor and was giving her mom and pretend examine. She then asked "What seems to be the problem?" My daughter-in-law said, "I'm just so very tired." My granddaughter asked her, "Do you have kids?" My daughter-in-law said, "Yes, I do." My granddaughter thought for a moment and said solemnly, "I'm sorry, there is nothing I can do to help you."
  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
    your life is by your design...do yoga.. reduce stress... think happy thoughts
  • knitapeace
    knitapeace Posts: 1,013 Member
    However the basic truth for most moms was pointed out by my 4-year old granddaughter who likes to play doctor and was giving her mom and pretend examine. She then asked "What seems to be the problem?" My daughter-in-law said, "I'm just so very tired." My granddaughter asked her, "Do you have kids?" My daughter-in-law said, "Yes, I do." My granddaughter thought for a moment and said solemnly, "I'm sorry, there is nothing I can do to help you."

    That is seriously awesome.
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    I feel your pain....I also have a 3 year old daughter. I also have a 5 year old son, and a 4 month old daughter, and my husband works shifts. I'm on maternity leave though, we can take a year off in England. I go to the gym 5/6 times a week and walk a lot, and I think exercise and fresh air must help, because if I gave in to the tiredness I'd probably be in bed all day! My baby is up at least twice every night.

    When I was pregnant, I was working 3 days a week as a teacher and looking after my then 2 and 4 year olds. I was at the gym 4 times a week until 38 weeks pregnant. I honestly think the more you exercise, the more energy you have.

    I don't know what you eat, but that's definitely something you can focus on.

    Get your husband to do bedtime a couple of times a week so you can do a workout. On your day off take your daughter out. My kids love their scooters.
  • Ladybug1250
    Ladybug1250 Posts: 366 Member
    Stress (the overwhelming stress) that you describe could be a huge culprit, too. When I have found myself, overwhelmed, overtired, overstressed, my body usually says, "enough! if you don't stop, I'll make you stop!" Then I get very tired, and mildly depressed, and just really don't have the enthusiasm to do much more than what I must do.

    Of course, the stress also makes weight loss more difficult with the release of cortizol. Not a good thing.

    Is your husband doing his share? Do you have any other support that could help?

    Sometimes, we have to also look at our perception of things we must do. I look at my exercise as a stress reliever, not another obligation. For a while, why not focus more on ways to relieve the stress rather than calorie burn fitness. Meditation, tai chi, or yoga might be more beneficial right now than a cardio burn. A leisurely walk might be more relaxing than trying to get a mile in.

    On you day off, include your daughter in a relaxing fun activity that is healthy. A walk in the woods or a game of tag in the park. She will benefit, too.

    See your doctor though and have an honest talk. Have blood work done for vitamin and thyroid deficiency.

    However the basic truth for most moms was pointed out by my 4-year old granddaughter who likes to play doctor and was giving her mom and pretend examine. She then asked "What seems to be the problem?" My daughter-in-law said, "I'm just so very tired." My granddaughter asked her, "Do you have kids?" My daughter-in-law said, "Yes, I do." My granddaughter thought for a moment and said solemnly, "I'm sorry, there is nothing I can do to help you."


    thank you so much for the advice. your comment about your granddaughter made me laugh. That is just so cute!!!
  • meltedkeys
    meltedkeys Posts: 63 Member
    definitely eating breakfast will help, but as a person with vitamin D deficiency and vitamin B dificiency (previously), I would have your labs checked if breakfast doesn't help. Kale may not be the best tasting, but adding it to a breakfast smoothie gives you tons of vitamins and will help
  • Ladybug1250
    Ladybug1250 Posts: 366 Member
    I opened my diary! Thanks to all of your for your support it really means so much!!

    I feel good right now. I ate a big breakfast and plan to take a walk on my break in a half hour. I'm keeping up with the water as usual. My husband doesn't cook sadly, but when I ask him for help, he helps. He can put the little one to bed some nights so I can do 30 min of meditation, yoga or a work out. I just have to ask. Yesterday I was so tired he took the clothes out of the dryer and sat down and folded them all and put them away. My daughter looked at him and was like daddy what are you doing? He laughed and said I know you don't ever see me like this but mommy needs help. I looked at him and said. You are so sexy right now! lol
  • Ladybug1250
    Ladybug1250 Posts: 366 Member
    Oh and also you're all right I do need to keep up with my vitamins, I forget sometimes and that's not good. I did recently have some blood work done and she said all was normal, however when looking at the report it looks like my thyroid is a bit on the high side of normal. I'm switching doctors since we moved and I plan to ask him about it.
  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
    I would not call asking your husband to do his share of child-raising and housework "helping" you. These tasks are equally his job. You need to figure out ways to lighten your load. . . batch cooking is a big help in preventing poor food choices during the week. Get that husband to step up. Find some middle grade teens willing to help entertain your daughter from time to time so you can have a break. Do everything you can to get enough sleep.
  • jstout365
    jstout365 Posts: 1,686 Member
    I am having issues with fatigue at this time as well. I have one child who is 6 and work full time (with only weekends off). For the most part, I am not tired all the time. Typically having a nutritious diet with adequate calories, consistent exercise (3-6 days a week), and a good sleep habit will keep me feeling good. Lately, it feels like no matter what I do, I just can't get through the day without crashing and needing a nap. I am still trying to get into the gym and when I do, I find I have more energy after.

    Make sure you are eating well and enough to support good health, try and get a good nights sleep (can be hard with little ones), and start forcing yourself to do some exercise, even if it is just taking the kids out for a 30 min walk or playing with them in the yard. Get active before dinner if you can and you may find you have more energy in the evening.

    Some fatigue can be caused by viral infections or other medical issues, but often the life of a mother is an exhausting one and we just have to work to find our extra energy.