I feel like a failure
gbklvr
Posts: 84 Member
Hi all,
I had been doing great until a week ago. My mom has lupus and she is having the worse flair up, we have been taking care of my FIL since his accident four months ago and he has been living with us for two months. His overall health has been improving. He is a diabetic and his sugars were around 300 when he moved in. Now they are at a normal range, there is physical therapy to take him and endless doctor appointments. I want to go back to work and looking into grad school. It just all hit me last week I guess so my eating has been atrocious. Pumpkin cookies, donuts, munchkins have been the staple. No measuring anything. I decided this morning enough face where you are and begin again but I feel like such a failure for slipping.
I had been doing great until a week ago. My mom has lupus and she is having the worse flair up, we have been taking care of my FIL since his accident four months ago and he has been living with us for two months. His overall health has been improving. He is a diabetic and his sugars were around 300 when he moved in. Now they are at a normal range, there is physical therapy to take him and endless doctor appointments. I want to go back to work and looking into grad school. It just all hit me last week I guess so my eating has been atrocious. Pumpkin cookies, donuts, munchkins have been the staple. No measuring anything. I decided this morning enough face where you are and begin again but I feel like such a failure for slipping.
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Replies
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don't be overly concerned, right now your mom is the most important thing going .
When things settle down, you will be able to get back to your positive ways.
best wishes for you and your mom0 -
Beating yourself up about something you've done and can't go back and change is a waste of time and energy. It's done, it's in the past, time to move on and get back on the wagon.
However, you could learn a lesson from it as this won't be the last time you're faced with a stressful situation. How could you have handled it better? What else can you use to cope besides food? Maybe exercise, talking with a friend, etc.
I know how hard it can be to break these kinds of bad eating habits, but it can be done with some time. In the meantime, be kind to yourself.0 -
I agree about beating yourself up. Every meal is a new chance to restart. One things - I'd suggest not having all those goodies around to start with. After all, it sounds like your FIL shouldn't be tempted by having them around either, right? Good luck.0
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Maybe I can give us both a boost
Do not call yourself a failure, you had a set back, life does that to all of us at some point or another. That sound like a lot on anyone's plate.
You have the right idea to say enough and start again. That's what counted.
Good luck with your your parents.0 -
Very true I ate them out of the house which made it worse. I am giving myself time to feel and moving on. I like the idea of a plan. It's funny I am so much harder on myself than others. If it was a friend I would remind them it's a marathon not a Sprint. You didn't wait six months it was a week and what a great opportunity for you to learn. But when it's me it's a different story. I started tracking my food again and was honest about my behavior. I think of this site as accountability for me. Thank you all.0
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So you tripped; get up and move on. Stop beating yourself up and focus on the now.0
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It's so common in the care taking role to forget about yourself. Just take some time for yourself to plan you meals, including an occasional treat here and there. Today is a new day, and it's one day at a time! Sending positive healing thoughts for your family and calming ones for you! Happy Friday!0
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hang in there hun ....seems that right now you have a lot to deal with.....0
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Aww, cut yourself some slack. You had a bad week. It's only failure if you stop trying.0
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I agree with the others. Don't kick yourself down for any reason. You are taking care of other people at the moment and the only thing I can suggest is try to take at least 10 minutes for yourself and go or a walk so you can take a few deep breaths.0
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I had 2 solid weeks of gluttony recently... It's like I just gave up for a minute. That minute is over and I'm back with renewed focus. It is hard not to see this as a failure, but the truth is there were just more important things going on in my life at that time. Pick yourself up, remember what worked and get back to it. The past is the past and today is a gift.0
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My mom has Parkinson's disease and I have a toddler. There are times when life is crazy. Don't beat yourself up for not doing everything perfect. I find that focusing on getting in my exercise does two things. I burn calories and I have some time to think things through and to make a plan in my head for the day. I keep healthy foods in the house and if I can't plan dinner, I have access to things that won't blow my calorie allowance in a few bites. Remember to breathe!0
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you feel like a failure after a tough week. Do you want to feel that way after next week as well? Decide now and do what you have to do.0
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Don't feel like a failure. Everyone falls you just have to work some time in for yourself here and there. You can do this, life gets rough for us all sometimes.Don't beat yourself up just learn how to manage this stressful time in your life, just don't forget to take care of yourself, if you don't take care of yourself then you can't help all these others in your life. Don't give up!!!!0
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I work in healthcare and have also taken care of family. There is no failure here. You are assisting 2 people you love and in some ways have put yourself on a back burner. Not off the stove but on a back burner. If no one else says it- God Bless You!! If you can find the time take a couple a minutes each day to devote to you. Many empathize with you and are giving you hugs.0
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to borrow the words of Thomas Wayne - Why do we fall down?
take a walk around the block during doctor appointments. do yoga at home after everyone is in bed/settled for the night. Control the things you can and let the rest flow around and through you.0 -
The race doesn't go to the swift nor the strong but to the one who endures.0
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Please do not feel like a failure; and please do not give up. This is a season that we will all have to go through--when it is just hard to do the things we want to do for ourselves because we are lovingly taking care of others. Just try and do little things for yourself that make you happy and make you feel good. Go for walks when you can to clear your head. Take the stairs when you can. Make sure you stay hydrated and breathe. I am saying prayers for you and your family.
Hugs,
~Skye :flowerforyou:0 -
Why not consider yourself a success at being a wonderful daughter and a daughter focused on keeping yourself well and strong.
Start right now, this minute, make your plan for a nutritious meal as soon as you're hungry again.
After you've enjoyed your next meal, give yourself points for a successful managing of ONE MEAL, and plan for the meal that you will be eating next.
As you can see, "success" is BUILT, one meal at a time, one walk at a time, one glass of water at a time. If you think of "success" the opposite of "failure" it can be too hard to catch, but if you think of it as a wall of bricks, it will be more likely to stay put when things are tough to handle.0 -
You're doing grand lass.
This is not a race nor a competition. You will get to your goal in your time.
Hugs.0 -
I think you're a winner for realizing what you need to do next and doing it. So many people can't.0
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You're here! You are not a failure unless you keep telling yourself you are! Concentrate on positive thoughts and give yourself credit for being HERE.
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Each time you fall off and get back on (or how ever else you want to phrase it) is a learning experience. You learn new things about what you can handle, what needs work, and what challenges you'll continue to face in your journey so you can work your new lifestyle around them. Ease into it slowly if you need to. You have a lot of other stuff going on so don't feel like you need to go cold turkey. Getting back into the swing of things in itself is progress. It sounds like taking some time to plan ahead for each day's tasks will be essential to your success.
Best of luck!0 -
I undersand why people beat themselves up but ultimately its pointless boring and counterproductive. You need to be friends with and support yourself. You dont say how much you fell off the wagon by, but if you wnat a fresh start then just make it a fresh start.
You pobably need to talk to a close friend or run through your plan that takes into account all the current strife and how to avoid going off the rails. Your mfp friends can at least keep an eye on you if you ask them and then you need to have your coping strategies in place ready for when the challenging times come. Manu people start new diets every day so yours is no different if you want to look at it like that.0 -
Very true I ate them out of the house which made it worse. I am giving myself time to feel and moving on. I like the idea of a plan. It's funny I am so much harder on myself than others. If it was a friend I would remind them it's a marathon not a Sprint. You didn't wait six months it was a week and what a great opportunity for you to learn. But when it's me it's a different story. I started tracking my food again and was honest about my behavior. I think of this site as accountability for me. Thank you all.
I am very much the same way....much harder on myself. There are times I have to mentally stop myself from being so internally negative. I usually repeat the phrase "you would never say this to anyone else, why are you saying it to yourself?" or something like that. Sounds too simple to work, but it does!
Start patting yourself on the back for the good things you do, the small victories with your eating, etc. It will help to change your attitude, and in this struggle, positive attitude is more powerful than any workout.0 -
Isn't it odd that when we spend our time helping to care for others, we tend to take LESS care of ourselves?
Don't feel like a failure, just begin anew. You've got this.0 -
Thank you all for your encouragement I feel empowered to try keep going. I know I will get there. Just dropped my basket for a bit!0
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It's ok to fail. Just keep going. And make sure the most important things stay at the top of your list right now.0
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