Pardon my ignorance but...
SpikeTailTurtle
Posts: 60
I don't have kids so people are going to have to pardon my ignorance about this but it is really driving me nuts. I don't post often but I skim through the boards on a regular basis and I see a lot of parents on MFP who have a problem of their kids or spouse tempting their diet with all this unhealthy food. Like Doritos or Cookies, Cupcakes. Whatever. And every time I read that my knee jerk reaction is why did you buy it in the first place? If it is too unhealthy for you to eat on a regular basis then why would you allow your kid to eat it on a regular basis?
One of my primary goals for loosing weight and eating healthy is so when hubby and I have kids we can set better examples for them so they won't have to go through what I did. I want to teach them about proper nutrition from an early age and lead by example. So I guess I'm just confused. Like in my house we don't keep soda or cookies. (I have my 100 cal snack packs but those are being phased out too). We want the unhealthy to be in moderation and to us that means not readily available whenever they decide they want it.
My friends with kids have been able to successfully get their kids to go for fruit and veggies when they have the munchies or it's movie night and that is something I want too. It's not even forceful. I've offered a 5 year old chocolate pie and had them request carrot sticks with ranch instead with no prompting from parent. I think it's awesome.
So enlighten me MFP Parents because I feel like I am missing something.
Edited for paragraphs per request.
One of my primary goals for loosing weight and eating healthy is so when hubby and I have kids we can set better examples for them so they won't have to go through what I did. I want to teach them about proper nutrition from an early age and lead by example. So I guess I'm just confused. Like in my house we don't keep soda or cookies. (I have my 100 cal snack packs but those are being phased out too). We want the unhealthy to be in moderation and to us that means not readily available whenever they decide they want it.
My friends with kids have been able to successfully get their kids to go for fruit and veggies when they have the munchies or it's movie night and that is something I want too. It's not even forceful. I've offered a 5 year old chocolate pie and had them request carrot sticks with ranch instead with no prompting from parent. I think it's awesome.
So enlighten me MFP Parents because I feel like I am missing something.
Edited for paragraphs per request.
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Replies
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i have to agree with you on most of this. i have a friend who complains her son is addicted to sugar, but continues to keep things like pop and sugary treats in the house. she says its gotten so bad that if he does not find treats he will eat sugar from the bag of sugar by itself. i am all for everything in moderation. i will allow my daughters treats, but i do not let it become an every day thing, and they will get one, not a bunch of treats at a time, the same for me and the hubby. we allow ourselves treats, but they have to fit into our calorie goals0
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my daughters were raised in the same manner as you describe. Eating healthy. guess what ! When they grew up and were on their own in college. They ate what they had been "deprived" of when growing up. Good luck :-) now I say give and take0
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As far as the countless threads about sabotage, and spouses,kids, friends trying to tempt people into eating cake, most of those are just people venting and sometimes whining.... I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I'm saying that it's really nothing to cry about. Someone offers you cake? Well it's up to you to decide if your going to eat it or not. Sometimes it's really that simple, no need to start a thread over it! Lol
And as far as keeping treats in the House, that's up to each parent and everyone parents differently. I have chips in my House, brownies and cookies. I practice moderation and Portion control, so it's no big deal to me. If I want some, I make it fit into my day. If my Son wants a treat, then I practice moderation in serving him treats also and he can have one.
I couldn't imagine living without treats. I don't believe in deprivation. So we practice portion control.0 -
I totally understand where you are coming from. I was one of those parents who allowed tons of junk food in the house while my children were young. Then I had an epiphany, so to speak, and gradually eliminated those foods for healthier choices. Now my grandson lives with me and we don't have junk food here. If he want chips, then I will buy a small, single serving bag for him. He usually will not even finish it and I fold it over and seal it with a piece of tape until he wants the rest. He drinks water instead of any type of sugary drink, juice included. He prefers fruits and vegetables and homemade foods.
I don't understand the whole my husband or my kids tempt me either. Unless they are doing the shopping, you have control. Just don't buy it. When anyone tells me that it's not that easy, I tell them, yes it is. You have this great word in your vocabulary and it's only two letters. NO! Do you want some? NO. Ah just one bite! NO. Can I have this? NO. It works. Use it.0 -
Use paragraphs please or less people will read what you say.0
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I buy my kids their own junk food, and they better not touch my Ben & Jerry's, Nutella, or Cinnamon Toast Crunch.0
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): I don't want them to feel depraved I'm just hoping that there is a way for them to want to chose healthy nutrition on their own. My husband was raised with no soda in the house and so he just doesn't care for it. It's too sweet for him. Same thing with stuff like cookies and cake type stuff. Him and his siblings just plain don't like them. I think that's more what my ideal universe would be.my daughters were raised in the same manner as you describe. Eating healthy. guess what ! When they grew up and were on their own in college. They ate what they had been "deprived" of when growing up. Good luck :-) now I say give and take
In the event they do have a sweet tooth like me I will aim for moderation over depravation.
I have a feeling my bubble is going to get popped today. XD0 -
I know what you mean........... I get sick and tired of people blaming everyone else for the choices they make themselves. No one FORCES you to eat that cupcake/bag of chips/cream cake.......not unless they have a gun to your head!
I know that it is easier if you are 'helped' by people in your family, but it is ultimately YOUR decision.
I am a recovering alcoholic (6 years last June) and I have NEVER blamed anyone else for my addiction. My husband and family all still drink in my presence and I would not want them to feel like they couldn't.
:drinker:0 -
I raised my kids with "naked" vegetables and limited condiments. They had few to no store-bought treats mostly because my son was allergic to eggs. I rewarded them in the grocery store one day by telling them they could each choose one snack. My daughter grabbed a container of pineapple chunks, and my son chose a container of blueberries. Now, they eat what they want when they want it. I do keep treats in the house, but the kids don't think of them as treats. They think of them as choices.
When I was growing up, dessert was always available. Because we always had the option of dessert, I never felt deprived if I didn't choose to have dessert. Also, I didn't grow up in a "clean your plate" family. I grew up in an "It's just as wasteful to eat it if your body doesn't need it as it is to throw it away" family. Don't take more than you want to eat. It's this philosophy that I try to teach my children. None of us has ever had a weight problem.
I agree with you, however, on the children side. My children don't NEED Oreos any more than I do. If having Oreos in the house were a temptation for me, I would choose not to buy them. My husband, however, is an adult, and if he wants them and wants me to buy them, I will. I have to choose not to eat them.0 -
I know what you mean........... I get sick and tired of people blaming everyone else for the choices they make themselves. No one FORCES you to eat that cupcake/bag of chips/cream cake.......not unless they have a gun to your head!
I know that it is easier if you are 'helped' by people in your family, but it is ultimately YOUR decision.
I am a recovering alcoholic (6 years last June) and I have NEVER blamed anyone else for my addiction. My husband and family all still drink in my presence and I would not want them to feel like they couldn't.
:drinker:
:flowerforyou: Congrats on the six years!0 -
Good luck with the depraved children of yours :drinker:
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My daughter eats what I eat or starves..
nah just kidding. she gets to pick her food and she does a fine job at it.
although I might recommend not buying the count chocula bars as they are yummy !!! 100 calories apiece.0 -
Here's my problem--I go to the store and buy healthy stuff. The hubby will go the store and buy the junk as a way to sabotage me. And then he'll eat it right in front of me or WORSE--he'll prepare some for me too and then get mad if he took the time to make it and I won't eat it. I don't have any small children at home anymore but the problem still goes on0
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I hope that when I am blessed with living children, I will be able to teach them moderation, as it is something I have struggled with personally. I feel lucky that I am able to make these changes within MYSELF before my children are of the age to copy my bad habits. Some people aren't that lucky, and judging them as parents definitely isn't helping. Especially since they are on pretty much the exact same path as we are, they simply have other lives than their own to worry about and consider.
Children will test every one of our limits and boundaries, so it's impossible to say now what we will 'always' do and what we will 'never' do.0 -
I don't want them to feel depraved
I'm sure you don't.
why did you buy it in the first place? If it is too unhealthy for you to eat on a regular basis then why would you allow your kid to eat it on a regular basis?
This is one of those threads that I was ready to post a reply after reading the OP.
Unhealthy, or calorie dense? Or do you mean something else, like 'hyperpalatable?' ( aka, the dreaded word.... 'addictive' ) You might want to define 'unhealthy,' before you throw that word around here.
My son is 16. He's an athlete and is rather skinny and would like to gain weight. He works hard at his sport, he works out, and he tries to eat well. He also likes cookies after dinner. He has no problem with cookies at all. He eats a reasonable amount of cookies, and stops. And still, he isn't gaining the weight he'd like. Me, on the other hand? I have a huge problem with cookies. I binge on them more often that I'd care to admit. ( Unless you creep my diary... I have a special entry for 'binges' )
I do almost all the grocery shopping,and we use a premade list, and he and daWife just highlight the stuff they want. He wants cookies? He gets cookies. Maybe I should tell him that since I have a problem with cookies, that we can't have cookies in the house. But, the way I see it, it's my F*in' problem, and why should I punish a 16 yr old kid, for my problem? He laughs at me, when I scarf down his cookies, and tell him I have a problem. I'm a grownass man, I look like a *kitten* not being able to control my cookie intake. And you know what? I think this post has been very helpful to me.
So, thanks for that. I feel like I just made my first speech at AA.
My name is sloth, and I'm a cookie-aholic.0 -
I was raised to snack on fruits and vegetables, we rarely had pop around the house or ordered take out, we only drank water when thirsty, we ate out probably once or twice a year, we only had cake on birthdays and my school allowance was barely enough to buy a sandwich and and a small juice. We did get a daily allowance for sweets which could only buy one small candy bar or a single serving bag of chips. It was not out of some "let's eat healthy" movement. It was just how everyone around us ate, so we didn't feel deprived.
Fast forward a few years: I'm 300 pounds, still reaching for vegetables for snacks, still eating "healthy" home cooked food, still craving tomatoes and cucumbers more than I do donuts, and still rarely have soda. The bulk of my calories came from olive oil and full fat fresh dairy (and candies during college, I'll admit).
Really, instead of teaching the kids what not to eat teach them when to stop and how to move more. "healthy" is really unhealthy when you balloon to the size I was.
The thing is, people don't live on an island. When we have gatherings, with cakes and all kinds of heavy calorie foods I still get tempted and overindulge. I don't cry about it, but had I been taught moderation from an early age I would have less trouble with that.
You need to understand that not every husband wants to munch on lettuce and not every child will settle for a carrot when they have been brought up to eat cupcakes every day. Similarly, if you had this ritual of weekly pizza with friends you will still be tempted by that. In their world you're the anomaly. Trying to control what the whole house eats may be hard or even plain selfish if it creates distress. I don't really blame people who come here to vent, though personally I just indulge and move on. No venting needed.0 -
My kids took after their mother. They all eat stuff I would love to eat but cant. There are always snacks around my house. It's not "unhealthy" to eat a candy bar or cookies. It's ok for SOME people. Me? I can't touch em. They turn instantly into blubber.0
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): I don't want them to feel depraved I'm just hoping that there is a way for them to want to chose healthy nutrition on their own. My husband was raised with no soda in the house and so he just doesn't care for it. It's too sweet for him. Same thing with stuff like cookies and cake type stuff. Him and his siblings just plain don't like them. I think that's more what my ideal universe would be.my daughters were raised in the same manner as you describe. Eating healthy. guess what ! When they grew up and were on their own in college. They ate what they had been "deprived" of when growing up. Good luck :-) now I say give and take
In the event they do have a sweet tooth like me I will aim for moderation over depravation.
I have a feeling my bubble is going to get popped today. XD
There is a big difference between feeling deprived and feeling depraved. Though I suppose the first condition could lead to the second.0 -
Here's my problem--I go to the store and buy healthy stuff. The hubby will go the store and buy the junk as a way to sabotage me. And then he'll eat it right in front of me or WORSE--he'll prepare some for me too and then get mad if he took the time to make it and I won't eat it. I don't have any small children at home anymore but the problem still goes on
^^This. I was told that I'm not allowed to grocery shop anymore because I spend too much money on healthy food and if I want to eat that way, I can do it at work and buy it with my own money. The problem with this is my kids would rather eat healthy but because of the control freak nature of my husband, he doesn't care. Not everyone is lucky enough to have supportive spouses. Yes, we can choose what to put in our mouths, but when you are hungry, you eat what is available.0 -
I buy treats for my kids. Why not? They're 6, they're both a bit on the light side, so a few treats from time to time isn't going to kill them. I actually posted last week that they were eating too much junk, but I nipped it in the butt and now it's much better. They eat a lot of fruit, cheese sticks etc as snacks... but still have goldfish or crackers for snacks a few times a week and an oreo in their lunch box. They still won't eat Greek yogurt, even the kids stuff, unfortunately.
The main reason is that IMO that banning all the junk is just as dangerous as letting them eat junk all the time. Just got to let them have one cookie instead of 5. I don't care that it's there because most of the stuff isn't worth the calories for me.
My husband doesn't buy junk, I do all the groceries.0 -
I don't want them to feel depraved
I'm sure you don't.
why did you buy it in the first place? If it is too unhealthy for you to eat on a regular basis then why would you allow your kid to eat it on a regular basis?
This is one of those threads that I was ready to post a reply after reading the OP.
Unhealthy, or calorie dense? Or do you mean something else, like 'hyperpalatable?' ( aka, the dreaded word.... 'addictive' ) You might want to define 'unhealthy,' before you throw that word around here.
My son is 16. He's an athlete and is rather skinny and would like to gain weight. He works hard at his sport, he works out, and he tries to eat well. He also likes cookies after dinner. He has no problem with cookies at all. He eats a reasonable amount of cookies, and stops. And still, he isn't gaining the weight he'd like. Me, on the other hand? I have a huge problem with cookies. I binge on them more often that I'd care to admit. ( Unless you creep my diary... I have a special entry for 'binges' )
I do almost all the grocery shopping,and we use a premade list, and he and daWife just highlight the stuff they want. He wants cookies? He gets cookies. Maybe I should tell him that since I have a problem with cookies, that we can't have cookies in the house. But, the way I see it, it's my F*in' problem, and why should I punish a 16 yr old kid, for my problem? He laughs at me, when I scarf down his cookies, and tell him I have a problem. I'm a grownass man, I look like a *kitten* not being able to control my cookie intake. And you know what? I think this post has been very helpful to me.
So, thanks for that. I feel like I just made my first speech at AA.
My name is sloth, and I'm a cookie-aholic.
You're right. I'm not being fair by not defining the word 'unhealthy'. I will try and add that to my first post. I guess what I mean by unhealthy is more of unnecessary. If I had a kid and they were hungry I would rather they eat veggies over a cupcake because they won't be kids forever and I want them to have proper nutrients as they grow.
When I was in high school I could eat whatever I wanted and it didn't matter. Then right out of high school I got a VERY physically intensive job so I could keep eating like that. Then my back gave out and I got a teaching job but I had no idea how to control what I ate or even what was in my food because it had never mattered to me before. It had never been taught to me so I didn't know I had a problem until 5 years and 60 lbs down the road.
I want to have kids that can be healthy and happy kids but I also want them to be able to be healthy happy adults whether they are an athlete or have a desk job and I think for that to be true they have to be aware of what it is in their food.
My goal was never to demand they could never have it ever because I have a problem but to teach them what it means when they eat certain types of food so they can make informed choices later in life.
It just seems to me like letting a kid eat whatever they ask for without the surrounding education is a setup for failure. Though granted when I say kid I am usually referring the to 10 and under crowd. (My mum say's I'll grow out of that when I have kids.)
Kudos on your son understanding what he eats and being able to eat in moderation but since he is still growing wouldn't it be beneficial to let a nutritionist or doctor input on his diet if he is trying to gain?
My brother was 6'3" and 125lbs when he was 16 because he didn't understand how food worked as far as caloric density, macros, general required nutrients to be healthy and all that jazz. And he got really sick before he asked for help. Even now at 25 he struggles to maintain his weight at 140lbs. If he isn't very careful he starts dropping weight again. Both my and my bro's problem seems like they would be whole avoidable if my parents had educated us about food.0 -
): I don't want them to feel depraved I'm just hoping that there is a way for them to want to chose healthy nutrition on their own. My husband was raised with no soda in the house and so he just doesn't care for it. It's too sweet for him. Same thing with stuff like cookies and cake type stuff. Him and his siblings just plain don't like them. I think that's more what my ideal universe would be.my daughters were raised in the same manner as you describe. Eating healthy. guess what ! When they grew up and were on their own in college. They ate what they had been "deprived" of when growing up. Good luck :-) now I say give and take
In the event they do have a sweet tooth like me I will aim for moderation over depravation.
I have a feeling my bubble is going to get popped today. XD
There is a big difference between feeling deprived and feeling depraved. Though I suppose the first condition could lead to the second.
I lol'd when I saw that. Thank you for catching it.0 -
Here's my problem--I go to the store and buy healthy stuff. The hubby will go the store and buy the junk as a way to sabotage me. And then he'll eat it right in front of me or WORSE--he'll prepare some for me too and then get mad if he took the time to make it and I won't eat it. I don't have any small children at home anymore but the problem still goes on
^^This. I was told that I'm not allowed to grocery shop anymore because I spend too much money on healthy food and if I want to eat that way, I can do it at work and buy it with my own money. The problem with this is my kids would rather eat healthy but because of the control freak nature of my husband, he doesn't care. Not everyone is lucky enough to have supportive spouses. Yes, we can choose what to put in our mouths, but when you are hungry, you eat what is available.
:noway: :noway: :noway:
I'm leaving it at that. Anything further and I'll probably earn myself a strike.0 -
You're absolutely right, as a general rule, we do not allow it in my house, and we have a 5 year old.
Now we do have some junk food, that has no more than 15 grams of sugar, but we only give them half a serving.0 -
Here's my problem--I go to the store and buy healthy stuff. The hubby will go the store and buy the junk as a way to sabotage me. And then he'll eat it right in front of me or WORSE--he'll prepare some for me too and then get mad if he took the time to make it and I won't eat it. I don't have any small children at home anymore but the problem still goes on
either tell him no thank you
or
take the time to return it back to the store,
or
Throw it out, or put it in his car.0 -
As the father of 7 I try to keep mostly healthy stuff around. But we do have some not so great things as rewards. The best bet for anyone is not to try to eliminate any food item you enjoy, you will just crave it more. Eat any thing just track it and stay under your calorie goal if you are trying to lose weight..
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Here's my problem--I go to the store and buy healthy stuff. The hubby will go the store and buy the junk as a way to sabotage me. And then he'll eat it right in front of me or WORSE--he'll prepare some for me too and then get mad if he took the time to make it and I won't eat it. I don't have any small children at home anymore but the problem still goes on
^^This. I was told that I'm not allowed to grocery shop anymore because I spend too much money on healthy food and if I want to eat that way, I can do it at work and buy it with my own money. The problem with this is my kids would rather eat healthy but because of the control freak nature of my husband, he doesn't care. Not everyone is lucky enough to have supportive spouses. Yes, we can choose what to put in our mouths, but when you are hungry, you eat what is available.
If you and your kids go on a "Food strike" and let the junk food go to waste. your husband will have a change of heart.0 -
My problem with that is my husband is a manager at a grocery store. I do not buy junk but he certainly brings it home.0
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My 10 year old has been raised on whole foods and junk. You just balance it out. She hasn't been ill in over 3 years now and has even gotten 3 years of perfect attendance at school. Going for the 4th one now.
Moderation works. Extremes in "healthy and junk" don't IMO. I keep ice cream, flavored wheat thins, some chips and candy in the house, along with grapes, white nectarines, bananas, apples and a boatload of vegetables too. She eat all of them. I DON'T let her have the bag of chips, I pour some out in a bowl and let her know that's it for the day. That's what parents are supposed to do..............set limits.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
oh boy... well, if you are one of those people that believe extremes work...
i'm not. any extreme is asking to fail, it is just a matter of time.
i didn't grow up with much "junk food"/snacks/soda/etc growing up. this had little, if nothing, to do with health - we were POOR. (we did drink a lot of kool-aid - that is super cheap.)
so what happened when i had an income after college? oh i bought all the snacks and i ATE all the snacks. took nutrition classes all through growing up. i knew how i should be eating and didn't make one difference. i didn't have the habits engrained for a healthy balance of what to eat and how much. i just wanted what i couldn't/didn't have before (didn't matter the reason).
TLTR - personal experience, don't restrict your kids (or anyone else). teach them about balance. no food is "good" or "bad."0
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